I am worse than struggling. I am 10w1d. This technically means I have only been recieving HCG in high enough doses to test for 6-7 weeks. I have lost 11 lbs. I cannot do anything. By ANYTHING (I don't think anyone understands this) I mean I don't DO dishes, I DO NOT cook, I don't clean, I barely get out of bed. I'm always freezing but if I stand for to long I feel overheated and need to pass out (or lay down). It has been extremely hard to get anyone in "authority" to understand my needs. I STILL have not met "my" OB (I hate this office, not staying) but have talked to other MW/ob in the office. The last one (a mw) asked me if I was anorexic. i had just said not 5 minutes ago that i MISS DONUTS. that doesn't compute to me. I had said I just did not want to eat, I can't eat, IT HURTS. She then tells me that I should eat every 2 hours and even if i don't want to to just say the mantra in my head "this isn't for me it's for my baby". I was flabberghasted. I wasn't even mad until I thought about it more but what does not compute about IT HURTS TO EAT. PAIN from eating is a huge deterrent and shouldn't be ignored! Like I can just stop having food hurt me by saying that. I was also told that I am most likely not going to get any help. There isn't anyone who is going to want to repair the diastasis recti or the umbilical hernia since it will all get stretched again but it's SO OPEN and my "swayback" pushes everything out even further, I'm SURE that this is a partial cause/effect of continued intestional distress. I tested negative for celiac but am unlikely to get the gastro to schedule any kind of "oscopy" to see if I have chron's or some other PROBLEM going on. It's like they all think it will be better for me to be on vicoden for the severe pain (of which the intestional has NOT BEEN DIAGNOSED) of my back and guts ALL THE TIME instead of running the damn tests. Really going #2 10x a day doesn't seem to be a problem FOR THEM. I really hate "health care". STUPID. If I had any energy I would bash in their windows I am so upset.
I am researching into more homeopathics and came across a very strict chron's/ibd/autistic diet (inclination to bash my head is scaring me) that I started even though I don't have enough information or food to keep it going. It's so very restrictive that I will have to cook everything from scratch on my own though. I have so little energy this is hugely daunting. Also b/c it cuts out the carbs of almost all foods it's going to be very hard to gain any weight until i can make some of the safe cake/bread and slather it with honeybutter (my only source of real weightgain i suspect) but i don't have some of the ingredients AND i am only able to use nut flours which can also still be hard to digest. Mostly though broth is going to be a new staple for me, it has made me feel better but i'm out and need to make it from scratch to get all the good stuff. At least I know how to do that! Just have to go shopping. Which I have now relegated myself to using the electric wheelchair carts b/c I can't shop, think, and walk. I wish i had a wheelchair for my house (but the house wouldn't be accessible with it anyways).
I don't get how I even got pg. This isn't anything new, just the slight change of pg hormones (my first 2 pg were a BREEZE) and my fear of the vicoden that has pushed me into having to do something.
I'll end on the positive note that I went to my first ever acupuncture appt last thursday and LOVED it. I am going 2x a week for the rest of the year (we think i have 12 visits a year and it starts over in jan so we'll use them up). I also ordered a big homeopathy batch of meds ($150). Cell salts to use instead of prenatals (since i can't/shouldn't take them) plus some remedies I had been given before that I am low on and will try to use more often to get better. So far the babys heartbeat has been great.