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Mothering › Groups › July 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Have you announced? If not, when will you?

Have you announced? If not, when will you? - Page 2

post #21 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by lolliegee View Post

I get to announce to my La Leche League chapter meeting tomorrow (I'm a leader applicant), although they'll be told to keep it quiet. I'm excited because I know they'll be supportive. Sadly, it's my family right now who are likely to be judgemental (my siblings) and unhappy (my older kids). I don't like waiting, I want to share this thing that is so all consuming to be right now. Don't know how I'll hide the no alcohol again on Thanksgiving. My hubby and I are going out this weekend, maybe I can convince him it's time.

 

For one, it's a surprise pregnancy, right? So, if your kids are unhappy, that's too bad. The same goes for your judgemental family. It's not like you did it on purpose. They'll all get used to it eventually. It'll be OK. Oh and even if it had been planned, that's between you and your husband.

I hope for you that your hubby is willing to spill the news because it sounds like it's pretty hard for you to keep it quiet. If I had older kids, I would have to tell them so they would know that if I don't feel well or feel tired, I have a good reason. It'd be nice if you didn't have to play the "pretend to drink" game. 

 

I think my family thinks I'm a little odd for having another, but they don't say anything negative to me, so good. LOL Thankfully, my kids are little and they just go with the flow.

post #22 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by dayiscoming2006 View Post

 

For one, it's a surprise pregnancy, right? So, if your kids are unhappy, that's too bad. The same goes for your judgemental family. It's not like you did it on purpose. They'll all get used to it eventually. It'll be OK. Oh and even if it had been planned, that's between you and your husband.

I hope for you that your hubby is willing to spill the news because it sounds like it's pretty hard for you to keep it quiet. If I had older kids, I would have to tell them so they would know that if I don't feel well or feel tired, I have a good reason. It'd be nice if you didn't have to play the "pretend to drink" game. 

 

I think my family thinks I'm a little odd for having another, but they don't say anything negative to me, so good. LOL Thankfully, my kids are little and they just go with the flow.

I agree!!

 

We've had some negative reactions in the past.  I was 19 and in school when I got pregnant with my eldest...so I understand that.  With 3rd, my son was only 7 months so people were quite shocked. 

 

I'm actually really excited because everyone is expecting it this time (we had a second trimester loss in June that everybody knew about) so they'll all be super happy!

post #23 of 52

lolliegee I really hope your family will be happy for you! To me, it doesn't matter how old your other kids are or how old you are- there is a little miracle happening! Who is anyone to judge that? I think you feel much more comfortable once it is out in the open, maybe you are worrying too much and they will actually all be excited?! But then, maybe not.,.... I mean, I don't know your family :)

 

I think we are going to work it into the "We are thankful for...." 

post #24 of 52
Thread Starter 
DH and I talked a lot on our date last night. We decided we want to do a short video to tell the kids and a slightly different one to tell extended family. We figure this way, we can get everything we want to say without being interrupted and hopefully, it'll be a more peaceful transition. Hoping to get it done in the next few days.

On another note, I got to tell my La Leche League friends yesterday and they were all so supportive and wonderful. It felt so good to be able to share with them!
post #25 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by InLove2009 View Post

lolliegee I really hope your family will be happy for you! To me, it doesn't matter how old your other kids are or how old you are- there is a little miracle happening! Who is anyone to judge that? I think you feel much more comfortable once it is out in the open, maybe you are worrying too much and they will actually all be excited?! But then, maybe not.,.... I mean, I don't know your family :)

 

I think we are going to work it into the "We are thankful for...." 

Love this! Let us know how everyone responds. :)

 

lolliegee, how old are your children? I also have five, and my bigs have said things along the lines of being glad the babies are going to their family and we won't have to take care of them. While I understand, and do feel similar (or I'd be having my own baby instead ;-) ), it kind of hurts my feelings so I can imagine how you might feel. I hope they surprise you and have sweet reactions to the news.

post #26 of 52
Thread Starter 
My kids are 22 (next month), 16, 11 (but thinks he's 20 LOL), 5 and 2. The littles, I'm not concerned about at all. In fact the 5 year old has been asking for a baby sister for some time. The biggest concern is the 16 year old. He does most of the babysitting, although I try to limit it to not more than twice a week), so I'm sure his concern is going to come from how much impact there will be on him. One thing all the bigs have said, other than "Don't ever have anymore!" is, don't have any more unless we have a bigger house. We're in a tough place with our house. Owe more than it's worth because of the housing slump, so we're faced with giving it back to the bank or doing a short sale. This is one of the things we were trying to come up with a solution to before we tell them, but honestly, every time we talk about it, we just keep coming to the same stuck point. We desperately do need a bigger house. This house is only 1350 square feet, with four kids living at home and the fifth staying with us part of the week, it gets very crowded. Bleah! Sorry, to dump.
post #27 of 52

My sister in law just miscarried this month, so timing for me to be saying anything is just not good.  Of course, I can't really tell the kids and have them hide it - that's just not fair or realistic, so I imagine the kids will find out and then we will tell, though I want to hold off for as long as possible for my SIL's sake.

In the past we always told right away, but I guess I'm feeling more cautious these days.

post #28 of 52
Thread Starter 
That happened to us last time. My SIL had very recently miscarried too. I was so afraid to tell them. They had been trying for so long and here we were, actively preventing and finding ourselves pregnant. We ended up meeting with just them and telling them privately. To Our surprise and relief, they were happy for us. They've since gone on to have a beautiful baby girl.
post #29 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by lolliegee View Post

My kids are 22 (next month), 16, 11 (but thinks he's 20 LOL), 5 and 2. The littles, I'm not concerned about at all. In fact the 5 year old has been asking for a baby sister for some time. The biggest concern is the 16 year old. He does most of the babysitting, although I try to limit it to not more than twice a week), so I'm sure his concern is going to come from how much impact there will be on him. One thing all the bigs have said, other than "Don't ever have anymore!" is, don't have any more unless we have a bigger house. We're in a tough place with our house. Owe more than it's worth because of the housing slump, so we're faced with giving it back to the bank or doing a short sale. This is one of the things we were trying to come up with a solution to before we tell them, but honestly, every time we talk about it, we just keep coming to the same stuck point. We desperately do need a bigger house. This house is only 1350 square feet, with four kids living at home and the fifth staying with us part of the week, it gets very crowded. Bleah! Sorry, to dump.

 

There is a program (HARP) that is offered through the government I think. Go to your bank and ask about it, most of the banks offer it. With this program, they will refinance your house at the current value, current interest rate and forgive the difference. It helped my in-laws a lot, they forgave them $40,000 and refinanced at 3.5%. It saved them a lot of money! Maybe it would help you get out of your  house without having to go into a short sale.....

post #30 of 52

700

 

 

This is what we used to announce on Facebook :) 

post #31 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by InLove2009 View Post

700

 

 

This is what we used to announce on Facebook :)

 

 

Love this :)

 

post #32 of 52
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by InLove2009 View Post

There is a program (HARP) that is offered through the government I think. Go to your bank and ask about it, most of the banks offer it. With this program, they will refinance your house at the current value, current interest rate and forgive the difference. It helped my in-laws a lot, they forgave them $40,000 and refinanced at 3.5%. It saved them a lot of money! Maybe it would help you get out of your  house without having to go into a short sale.....

Thanks for the info! I'll definitely look into it.
post #33 of 52
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by daffyduck View Post


That is awesome!
post #34 of 52
Thread Starter 
So, we finally told the kids last night! We didn't end up doing the video, just told them in person. Much to our relief, it went very well. They weren't happy, but weren't nearly as upset as we thought they'd be. The one thing they all agreed on was that we definitely have to have a bigger house. So, we'll focus on figuring that out. Hopefully, sooner rather than later, so we can be settled before baby(ies) come. We didn't tell them we suspect twins. Figured that can wait until after tomorrow's u/s (which I am so excited and nervous about!). We're working on an email to tell the extended family. Thought that might be the best way to tell them all. We'll see. Hope to have that sent in the next couple days. What a relief that my kids now know why I've been feeling cruddy and I can talk about things openly with them. I'll be even more relieved when everyone else knows too.
post #35 of 52
We've told family and a few who need to know, like my boss. I'd like to keep it quiet at least until we see the heartbeat (Dec 11: 8 weeks) and preferably even longer than that. I work with folks grieving all kinds of loss including infant and pregnancy loss, so I'm just a bit anxious.
post #36 of 52

Janie, I feel exactly the same way! I'm not even tempted to tell people beyond some family and a couple of close friends. While I'm so glad to be pregnant, I'm really trying to take it one day at a time. Fingers crossed, it's cool to be looking forward to holidays-with-a-heartbeat, though!
 

post #37 of 52

I'm thinking to announce after hearing the heartbeat. My first appointment should be in my 11th week. So, in about 3 weeks. I hate not knowing for sure what's going on in there, but I'm trying to be patient and trust whatever happens it'll be OK.

post #38 of 52
I am finally starting to think about this topic and wondering when i will HAVE to tell, like it being obvious. How long can i hide under my puffy winter coat:)? I am such a hermit. I dont wanna tell my family! I will be the first grandchild and my sisters are all in our 30s, its going to be crazy and i am like the black sheep.
post #39 of 52

I wanted to wait until after hearing the heartbeat, or the first u/s, but we're going to tell my in-laws at Christmas. I think it'll be a nice surprise for them, and get me out of drinking (which they do a LOT). We already told my parents, sis & bro-in-law at Thanksgiving. I was something like 3 or 4 weeks, but it was nice to tell them in person. Most of my close mom friends know, and it turns out one of them is expecting too, due about a week before me! It'll be a lot of fun to have someone to share the experience with this time.

 

We'll probably tell the rest of the world on FB after the 11 week check up and u/s, about mid-Jan.
 

post #40 of 52
We are slowly telling people as we see them. Family, a few friends, and some coworkers know. We had a miscarriage at 11 weeks last time and had told lots of people. It was hard for me to have to rehash the whole experience every time we would see someone else who had known we were pregnant. I am not having trouble keeping it quiet but my husband is a blabber mouth!! I am happy that he is so excited though! We will probably Facebook it after my 12 week appt.
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