DD is about 2 years 10 months, and has a good friend (the neighbor boy) who just turned 7. He is a good kid, but somewhat strong willed and really precocious. Their family was visiting this evening and he and DD had been in playing on our bed for a few minutes (right off the living room with the door open) when his mom called him to come get his coat on and leave. He came out of our room with DD behind him - with her pants and undies down around her ankles. My first thought was that she was headed to the potty in our room, and it would be perfectly normal for her to do that in front of whoever since she has no sense of modesty yet. When I asked her if she needed to pee or had just peed she said no, they were playing "baby." Her friend explained that they were having a baby. Then they went upstairs to her room (you bet I was following behind) and they were going to keep playing "baby" but his mom was leaving and made him go with her.
We've been a little uncomfortable in the past with some of the pretend play they do together because of the age difference - they've played wedding where he actually kisses her, and they've played at having babies before (it's the actual delivery not the conception of the baby), but we've felt the need to keep a close eye on them. After DD went to sleep this evening I called and talked to the neighbor boy's Dad about what happened, not in a confrontational way - I really think the kid is pretty innocent about it all - just telling him what I observed. He said he'd try and get the story from his son and we'd reconvene to talk about it. I feel pretty good about how they'll probably handle things.
So my question is, how do I teach DD to keep her pants on with her friends without making her feel shame about her body or making her grow up too fast? I'm not sure at what age most kids develop a natural sense of modesty, but she's not there yet and I don't want to push her into a concept that she's not developmentally ready for yet. I'm pregnant, so we've talked a little about how babies are made, we've got a book ("it's not the stork") that she's looked at a little, and we've told her before that we don't run around naked in public. It's hard to communicate the idea that there are parts of your body you don't share with your friends when she's still needing someone to wipe her every time she poops.