With extra sarcasm! Just thought I'd like to get mine out here, and not all in full force to dh this season. Please share, and laugh, and cry, and maybe thank your lucky stars for relatives you happen to get along with.
MIL at thanksgiving: "I hate nutmeg/ginger/etc. I NEVER put anything but cinnamon in MY pumpkin pie." "Oh no, I can't eat that you see I don't like nutmeg/ginger." (says this when presented with any foodstuff that may contain these spices, in case anyone may have forgotten from the last 10+ years.)
MIL (possibly presents dd1, or even both dd's with horrible surprise holiday dress, in the middle of thanksgiving dinner - or like last year, cheap clearance and too-small sized halloween costume and proceeds to get dd to change into it while I'm, you know, washing dishes or otherwise hosting). - "Oh, why does she need to take it off, it's so cute? . . . *Mom* says you can't wear it now. . . . but she looks so nice. . ." while I grumble to myself after spending a week getting the kids to agree to clothing that at least somewhat coordinates nicely for some good holiday pictures for the day.
My Mom: (unloads car full of 4-5 boxes full of goodies she's thrifted for the kids, and sets them all over my cleaned living room) - "If you want, I can take some of it back" (where it will sit at my parents until I take it again ). I hear we have multiple new 'nice' dress winter boots already, at minimum.