I am very late and very new, but was hoping to find some support here because I'm really starting to slow down and need women to whine to that will understand ;) Here is my intro so you don't have to fish for it:
This is my first DDC. I realize I am REALLLLY late, but I'd like to join anyway as I'm really starting to have a rough time and could use the support. Some quick stats:
DD- 4 yrs, 10/08, Lana, medicated hospital birth at 37 weeks (water broke on its own), 26 hrs, 7 lbs 13 oz, no health issues, breastfed for 6 mos, no blw
DS- almost 2 years, 2/11, Silas, hospital birth with epi @ 9 cm at 37 weeks (was 5cm at my appt), 26 hrs, 8 lbs 1 oz, no health issues, weaned @ 18 mos, exclusive blw
DS- due 12/28, Abel, planning an unassisted home birth (2 doulas), UP'ing since 22 weeks (anatomy scan looked fabulous), experiencing some pre term labor but no baby yet. will UC @ 36 wks+
I am baby wearing, cloth diapering (I make them as well), organic, crunchy... the whole 9. I start midwifery school with AAMI in the spring and am an advocate for marriage equality, intactivism, and natural birth. I voted for Obama, twice lol. I like to drink, sew, crochet, and have a bit of a potty mouth. I am not religious but I do consider myself a humanist. I have been a sahm since I was 10 weeks pregnant with my first although I have pretty much constantly worked from home in one way or another. We plan at least one more kid, about 2 years apart from this one in utero, like the other kids are from each other. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, although I've remained largely umedicated outside of Zoloft and Buspar which I weaned from after getting pregnant this year.
My only issues this pregnancy have been major anxiety and depression. I have chosen not to treat with any medication and am hanging on. Oh, I have a husband lol. We just celebrated our 2 year anniversary (hes the father of all of my kiddos) and will celebrate 5 yrs together this Christmas. We live on the southern coast of NC. I think thats it? :D
I am so freakin tired it hurts. Prodromal labor is kicking my A**. I'm starting to feel off kilter mentally. One day I'm so zen about having a UC and the next I'm like sign me up for the hossy. Which, is not happening, but its just mood swing after mood swing. I'm not sleeping or eating well which is only making things worse. My kids are driving me bat crap and my husband is never home (works 10a-2a every day but Sunday). I have roids and hot flashes all day long. My house is falling apart. I want to go to bed and wake up in labor about 3 weeks from now. I need my adult life back. I want a glass of wine like a mfr. I am STILL having a hard time connecting to this baby in some pretty big ways and I don't know why. He was TTC'd for sure. I have this fear that he has some major health problem or will after birth. Basically, *WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*.