A Saner TTC: Frosty Moon - Page 6

[beckerooo]

dakipode - I hope you are doing ok. I agree with everyone else that this a fine place to share you're feelings whatever they may be. Thinking of you.

[Sphinxy]

dakipode - I think one of the most useful things this community offers is an understanding that TTC is not all sunshine and roses. I'm glad you fee you can be open and supported here, because it helps the rest of us see that we are, too. I'm so sorry about your surgery. Similar to sparklemaman, I have found counseling/therapy (with the right person) to be worth it's weight in gold - and I have often reminded both myself and my DW that this is a decision that we don't make based on dollars. We'll find the money - the well-being is what's most important.

Afm, I've been a little MIA lately trying to figure out my next step after last cycle's BFN. At first I needed to take a break this cycle to get my confidence and expectations back in check, but after a week of trying to get re-centered, and a wonderfully supportive Thanksgiving with my family, I'm ready to recommit myself to this process. It's what I want, and you don't get pregnant accidentally when you're gay! Charting is a necessity for me but I'm trying to do so in a practical, objective way, and I'm learning good things that should help take some of the guess work out of my inseminations. But part of pressing my "reset button" is also accepting that some guess work is always going to be part of this, and finding a way to set myself up for coping with that stress in a productive way. So here we go, fingers crossed for a Christmas miracle!

[LilyKay]

dakipode - OMG been gone for a few days and now just read the past few posts. What an emotional rollercoaster! So so sorry this sucks so much! I don't have anything worthwhile to say other than allow yourself to be sad. Give in to feeling sad for a while, mourn your loss and it'll pass quicker instead of trying to move on too quickly.

This was actually DP advice to me. Last week was horrible with me just dragging myself around. I just felt sad and did not know why. After talking about it to him I just had to admit that I was not over getting my period. I know in my gut I was pregnant and that I miscarried. He told me "just be sad, stop trying so hard to get over it". I spent most afternoons last week ignoring todo lists and errands while DD napped, wrapped in a blanket watching the third season of Downton Abbey. And of course (SPOILER ALERT), cried my heart out on the 7th episode. DD woke up, looked at me and said "mama weint" (that's "mama is crying" in German). On the bright side, having a good cry is so therapeutic. My mood has thankfully improved since...

[Xerxella]

Sphinxy - I'm glad you've had a good Thanksgiving. Good luck this next cycle! You know you can't win the race if you don't even enter!

Time is short, Hugs to all.

AFM - I caved and tested today at 9 or 10 dpo, it was negative. Boo. But, I did finally get an appointment with my doc for December 26th. Merry Christmas to me.

[John16n33]

Lily-  You just reminded me I need to catch up on Downton, I guess there goes my plan for doing homework all day   I understand mourning over AF showing up, I swear it took me a good 3-4 months to get over it last January when Dh gave me my one cycle to TTC.  In all honesty I was still probably mourning it last July when I had finally realized I might never have another baby, because he might never be ready (he told me the next day he was ready and we could start trying in December).  Sorry to ramble, my point is that I know the feeling and I hope you get your bfp soon!

Xerxella-  Yay for a doctors appointment!

AFM- I am currently 4dpo, someone please remind me how unlikely it is to catch an egg 48 hours after o'ing.  I felt ovulation cramping on my right side on cd 14 and had a temp shift the morning of cd 15 and it has stayed high every day since (I am currently on cd 18).  Well Dd had a sleepover on cd 16 so we took the opportunity to enjoy some alone time lol.  Dh surprised the living heck out of me by not pulling out.  He said it was 'practice' for next cycle.  Logically I know the chances are slim to none, but I am paranoid.  I do not want an August baby lol. 

[mirpmama]

So sorry Dakipode!

AFM - After reading the comments here about not planning too much around the timing, DH and I talked and agreed that a newborn at Disney might be a little crazy and most people would think we were nuts, but people think that anyway lol - so we decided to just keep trying.  But, AF did not show up and I got a BFP on Monday morning.  :) I was really surprised! So far I feel fine, not pregnant, just a little tired.  I have had horrible horrible pre-natal depression with #2 and #3 and I am a bit panicked about it happening again.  Really praying that it does not set in and that this is a sticky bean!

[dakipode]

Mirpmama: congratulations! I wish you all the best! I hope that this is a healthy, sticky bean for you and that the next nine months are as uneventful as possible! Please keep us posted!

[GISDiva]

Yes, congratulations, Mirpmama!

Sphinxy, sounds like you're in a good place. 

You know how we talked about putting things off just in case a pregnancy happens?  The registration is just opening for a big conference I go to every year in San Diego for work.  I love San Diego.  If I'm pregnant this month, I'd be just under 8 months pregnant and probably wouldn't sign up for it.  If I'm not, I'd be just under 7 months pregnant *if* it happened next month instead and would maybe consider it (barring any health concerns that crop up).

I'm 5 DPO, I guess I only have a week to wait to find out what it will be...

[John16n33]

mirpmama- Congratulations!!!

[Xerxella]

Congrats mirpmama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JustJenny]

mirpmama- Congrats!!!       Wishing you a sticky bean and a healthy,happy pregnancy and delivery! 

[Lidamama84]

Congrats, mirpmama!!!

Sphinxy, you have such a nice way of putting things!

Originally Posted by Sphinxy 

dakipode - I think one of the most useful things this community offers is an understanding that TTC is not all sunshine and roses. I'm glad you fee you can be open and supported here, because it helps the rest of us see that we are, too. I'm so sorry about your surgery. Similar to sparklemaman, I have found counseling/therapy (with the right person) to be worth it's weight in gold - and I have often reminded both myself and my DW that this is a decision that we don't make based on dollars. We'll find the money - the well-being is what's most important.

Afm, I've been a little MIA lately trying to figure out my next step after last cycle's BFN. At first I needed to take a break this cycle to get my confidence and expectations back in check, but after a week of trying to get re-centered, and a wonderfully supportive Thanksgiving with my family, I'm ready to recommit myself to this process. It's what I want, and you don't get pregnant accidentally when you're gay! Charting is a necessity for me but I'm trying to do so in a practical, objective way, and I'm learning good things that should help take some of the guess work out of my inseminations. But part of pressing my "reset button" is also accepting that some guess work is always going to be part of this, and finding a way to set myself up for coping with that stress in a productive way. So here we go, fingers crossed for a Christmas miracle!

[SparkleMaman]

Congrats, Mirpmama!!

Sphinxy Your comment reminded me of a conversation I just had with a good friend who was waxing poetic about becoming a mom someday and then panicking about potential parenting issues (we were discussing how commercially available girls halloween costumes so sexualize young girls and the struggle this has increasingly been for me in steering my DD away from them). I was reassuring her that she'd be a great mom and that she'd figure it all out. She and her DW would like to have kiddos, just not yet. She then sighed a huge sigh and said, Well, at least I don't have to worry about THAT happening by accident!

You are so right on about letting go and accepting that you can never have total control, there is always some guess work, and this is also very true of parenthood. I am so glad you've reset and are feeling good about trying again. I have my fingers crossed for you!  I too so appreciate your comments, you do have a lovely way of saying things. And I should have included the caveat you mentioned, counseling/therapy (with the right person) can be such a help is finding balance and guidance through specific crisis or managing issues, like anxiety and depression. Finding the right person can sometimes be tricky but it is well worth the effort.

LilyKay Just ordered Season 3 but it won't ship until January - I'm completely Downton obsessed I agree with you and your DP, you do sometimes just need let yourself be sad. I had quite the meltdown and pity party last month when AF arrived, and I am SO glad I did!! I also was able to move on after processing and actually feeling it, rather than trying to will away those yucky feelings.

GISDiva Totally!! If?! When?! I so completely get it. I've been thinking this way about my job position for next year and two trips I am supposed to go on for work this spring, not sure I'd like a 7+ hour bus ride (each way) with 8th Graders 7 months pregnant. Hmmmm... 4DPO here. Well, I too do not have to decide just yet. to you!!

Xerxella Agreed, Boo!! I'm sorry But glad for your appointment.

Hugs Dakipode.

Happy Weekend, Mamas!!
 

Edited by SparkleMaman - 12/1/12 at 7:29pm

[Lidamama84]

AF arrived this morning, right on schedule . I'm probably the only person on this board happy to see her, but for me, each cycle means one month closer to TTC! I AM happy about our decision not to have the next one when DD2 is two...the tantrums are already starting and I'm happy I won't be dealing with those with a newborn!

[dakipode]

Lidamama: I'm with you, meaning I'm happy to see "AF". I started this morning as well. I ovulate late though so I doubt we'll be cycle buddies for long.

Sphinxy: your comment about not accidentally getting pregnant reminded me of the story my friend told me of one of her friends who is gay and set out to find her own way of getting pregnant. Let's just say I would've never thought to use a menstrual cup in that way...

Lilykay: watching Downton Abbey curled up on the couch sounds awesome! I only watch Netflix so I'm usually a season behind.

Xerxella: sorry about the BFN, though it was an early test. Yay for finally getting a doctor's appointment!

John16n33: you never know... I think it's nice when DH can still surprise you, even when you've been together for so long it just reminds you that you still can't take each other for granted.

GISDiva: or you could try some reverse magical thinking: if you sign up you'll be pregnant for sure! LOL!

AFM: Bleeding started this morning and I am a bit sad but mostly relieved. I'm scheduled for a follow up appt on Monday and I'm hoping the doc won't give me too long of a wait. Honestly, given my track record I'm tempted to just go for it this cycle since I don't have high hopes for it anyway.

I want to emphasize again how grateful I am for the outpour of support I've gotten here! I never felt alone or isolated and that was huge, so thank you ladies, all of you, for being here.

[Lidamama84]

Dakipode, I O late too...cd 18 or thereabouts, from what I can tell. Not sure if that's normal for me or if its a problem for me, since I never tracked anything before my previous pregnancies...time will tell...

So jealous of all you Dowton Abbey-watching ladies!!! I've read about the series but never seen it, since we don't have cable (or any channels, for that matter...) so we stream stuff from Netflix and YouTube. But the Netflix here in Canada is pretty sucky. Though I haven't checked recently if they 've added DA. I'm a total Jane Austen freak, tho, so I'm sure I'd love it

Re: keeping the spark with DPs, sometimes I worry about that too...like we're so burned out with work and 2 kids, we spend very little time re-connecting as a couple, not from lack of will, but just bc we spend a lot of our together time talking about things to do with running the house/kids/finances/plans, that we get very little "free" time...but when we do, I feel all the magic come back...my DH is so funny and interesting...in a crack-pot/prepped kinda way He got me hooked on the podcast No Agenda and Common Sense, and I'm turning crackpot too now, haha...okay...rambling

Spinxy and others...haha re accidental pregnancies w/ DWs!! I always think about how the dynamic of the couple must be different with a DW, and I often wish, in my moments of housework desperation, that I had a woman as a partner to share my point of view and HELP OUT!!! The grass is always greener, I guess, but I've always said that the next time I get married, it'll be to a woman

[beckerooo]

Between my sis in law and you ladies all talking about Downton I think I need to find some time to try and watch it! It sounds like a great show!
DH and I both have colds right now so I plan to do some relaxing tomorrow on my day off of work. If I actually o'd when I think I did I'm about one week into the 2ww.

[Xerxella]

Well BFP this morning at 11dpo on a First Response Early Result. It was very, very faint which worries me after my history of loss. But, you have to enter to win and surely one of these times I'll be successful.

So feel free to keep me in your prayers, thoughts or whatever. I think I need to be more zen now than ever.

[Lidamama84]

A very hopeful congrats to you, Xerxella!! Fx for a sticky bean for you!!!!!

[revolting]

Xer - Wishing you a healthy pregnancy!