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A Saner TTC: Frosty Moon - Page 10

post #181 of 215

I am back after being absent for awhile. I need someone to talk to. Been TTC for #2 for 2+ years and I just needed to take a few months off to get a clear head. After two years of intensively trying with charting, temping, OPK's, Acupuncture, etc. I have taken a "vacation" from all of that. I haven't been charting, taking my temperatures, quit the Acupuncture, nothing. And it's been great! I even enrolled in Midwifery school, thinking it was time to put my energies elsewhere and then just let baby-creating happen if/when it did. It all felt very "right" and helped me get my head back in order. (Through all of that I found out my Thyroid was not functioning well and my doctor started me on a natural approach to see if we could stimulate it naturally before going with hormones, so that has helped also to get my sanity back!!!). 


And so now... here I am.... on CD32 which is 5 days late (and I am never late. If anything, I often have cycles which are too short) and I was really feeling strongly that I needed to just trust the process, so I wasn't going to test at all (which is not like me, but I am feeling very trusting and Zen about this whole thing right now). Been walking around with a big grin on my face, though! However... I haven't yet shared with my husband how late I am and that I think (know?!!!) I am pregnant and I was trying to come up with a fun way to announce it to him when he comes home from an out-of-town business trip on Sunday. I decided I'd go ahead and get a test (opting for a more expensive digital one rather than the cheapie ones I always used to do because it would look nicer) and then I could wrap it up in a box with a nice ribbon and a Congratulations card. But, to my utter surprise, the test this morning was negative! I totally did NOT expect THAT. 


Talked to my best friend on the phone and she said this happened with her first son. In fact, even the blood test at the doctors on 8 days late was negative, but two weeks later she was in the full throes of morning sickness, so definitely pregnant. And I googled it, and it seems this happens to a lot of women. How frustrating! I tested at 6 days late with my son and the line showed up almost before the pee hit the stick. 


I am fine with just trusting my body and waiting. But my husband is a very analytical type and he will want "proof." I have been married to him long enough to know that a "feeling" I have won't be enough for him to believe it is definitely true. So I am trying to determine how exactly to proceed. "Honey, I am pregnant. The test is negative, but it is wrong. You'll see."... or just refuse the glasses of wine he offers me in the evening until he asks why??? lol... any ideas?

post #182 of 215

Welcome back PeacefulMama. Do you track ovulation? Or are you just going by cycle days to determine whether or not you're late? I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to be that late and be getting BFNs. Although you seem to be handling it a lot better than I would! Maybe you should consider going to get a blood test? I know there's still a possibility of a false negative with that as well, but it's definitely less so than with a HPT. And that would certainly offer your DH the more conclusive proof he needs! There's definitely something to be said for women's intuition, though. GL, hope you get your positive test!

post #183 of 215

Good luck PeacefulMama, I hope your intuition is right!  I am on the same page as oasis, there is no way I could be as calm as you seem to be.  I would probably go in for a blood test just so I would have that proof for my Dh.

post #184 of 215
Behold the power of negative thinking! Got my BFP yesterday. smile.gif I really, really thought I was out this month until Friday night. I looked at my body in the mirror and then I *knew*. I tested in the morning and sure enough. I guess that's why I was feeling so un-zen, my lizard brain already knew what my thinking brain couldn't let itself believe.

Still in that phase where you hold your breath every time you go to the bathroom...

I hope I am not the only one this week. Welcome PeacefulMama!
post #185 of 215

Yay!!!  Congrats GISDiva!!!!!

post #186 of 215
Congratulations, GISDiva!!!!!!!!!
post #187 of 215

Congratulations GISDiva!

post #188 of 215
Yay!! Woohoo, GISDiva!!
post #189 of 215

GISdiva- Congratulations! Hope you have a healthy sticky bean in there! joy.gifdust.gif

post #190 of 215
Thread Starter 

GISDiva: congratulations! I take it the conference is out then?


Everyone else: sorry I've been away for a while, I'll look for some time tomorrow to catch up with personals.

post #191 of 215

Wow congratulations GISDiva!!! Sending positive vibes for a happy and healthy nine months :) 

post #192 of 215

Congratulations joy.gifGISDiva!



Still in that phase where you hold your breath every time you go to the bathroom...


Yup, I remember that the first time around.. time will fly by before you know it!

post #193 of 215

I've been having a dull ache on my lower right abdomen since yesterday (now am at 5 DPO) and I just spent the morning analyzing my chart and googling non-stop. I also ordered a 10-pack of pregnancy tests off amazon. Now I must stop all the un-zen-like behavior, and let it go a bit om.gif



PeacefulMama best of luck! I hope you got a pos.gif by now...

post #194 of 215

LilyKay I know the feeling -- obsessive chart-gazing like it's a Magic Eye painting and some secret sign will be revealed to me if I just stare long enough is like my MO :)


In other news I'm already feeling like I've blown it for the month. Not due to O until around the 17th but it's only 10 days into December and we've been to so many holiday parties already that my intentions of maintaining a clean and healthy diet and not imbibing have been thrown out the window -- I've been embracing caffeine, alcohol and trans fats with near reckless abandon! Ugh where is my will power?? Then again, it's not like avoiding (or at least cutting down on) that stuff made a difference for the better in the previous four months. I'm having a blast just relaxing and doing what I want with DH and friends but there's always that little guiltiness afterwards that I'm blowing our chances with each cookie or glass of red wine... To make matters worse we're heading back home for the holidays and we'll be visiting with family and friends we haven't seen in seven months (we live abroad) so I know I'll be faced with temptations galore for the entirety of the TWW.

Edited by oasis84 - 12/10/12 at 4:33am
post #195 of 215

Congrats GSI!

post #196 of 215

Thanks ladies!


Oasis, don't be so hard on yourself.  Plenty of people get pregnant and not even know it while enjoying the finer things in life.  smile.gif  Moderation, Moderation, Moderation... Think of poor, poor me who will trudge through the holidays as a teetotaler.  lol.gif


Dakipode, yes, I think the conference is out.  I'm thinking five hours on a plane each way and walking the length of a football stadium sized conference center a few times a day at 7.75 months pregnant is not a good idea...and it just seems too far away from home at that point.  My boss will probably just take over the hotel room, so I'm not out anything.  The hard part will be keeping this all a secret for a few more weeks...


Let's see, good things come in threes, right?  Where's the other two BFPs, eh?  winky.gif

post #197 of 215
Thread Starter 

Oasis: welcome and yes, I totally get you. TTC is such a roller coaster: one day you're hopeful, the next moment you think you might jinx it if you're too hopeful, so then you swing the other way and just start brooding... (that's me at least)

I'm not sure that I have any good advice for you regarding not obsessively googling because I do it too. You think that maybe you're missing that one piece of crucial information that no one's ever seen because it's hiding on page 347 of the search you just did... I've learned to give in to my urges to search and I find that after 10 minutes or so it wears off and I can go on with whatever else I was working on. Of course, I work for myself so I don't have a boss looking over my shoulder, that makes my computer time a bit more flexible.

I would say don't worry about "blowing it" with diet etc. DH and I were just talking about this yesterday and the topic comes up here every so often: you get so stressed out with trying to do everything right, thinking that if you control every variable you can change the odds in your favor and ultimately you have to wonder: how much are you really affecting them? Are you increasing your chances from 20% to 50% or 21%? So many women who don't do anything "right" get pregnant and go on to have healthy babies... It's a maddening thought to me, someone who's trying to follow the rules and do it "right", but I guess that's the zen part of it all: letting go of the attachment of "right" vs. "wrong" and trusting that it will happen.


Lidamama: I hope you're having a much better day and your DD is feeling better. Thanks for giving me a realistic idea of what to look forward to. Not having any kids and wanting them so badly certainly has me seeing the future through rose colored glasses... winky.gif


Sparklemaman: any news yet? Ugh for the HPT, that's frustrating. When I first started using OPKs I would use three at a time (yeah, what a waste...) because I was worried about them not working properly.


chuord: hello and welcome. I'm sorry to hear about your earlier loss. I hope you get some good news soon.

Regarding the orgasm info: hmmm. I think I'll put that bit of knowledge in the "can't hurt to try" category. After losing the tube I read an account by a lady whose doc told her that the good tube goes and looks for the egg every month. Yeah, I LOL'd at that one. It seems pretty ludicrous but who knows, I do welcome any encouraging thoughts...



coati: I'm sorry AF showed up for you. I'm reminded of something Pokey said a while back: trucking along and keeping the faith. Sometimes it seems like that is all there is.hug2.gif


sphinxy: I feel the same way about BFNs being inconclusive, especially after this last episode. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if I find myself in need of a test again. I don't want to be the idiot who demands a blood test and then gets her period the same day. But on the other hand early monitoring is advised after ectopic pregnancy and I don't want to have another tube removed...

All the best with this cycle. I hope your swimmers found their way!


GISDiva: funny that you mention looking in the mirror and Knowing. I caught myself doing that a couple of times when I was in that weird time between BFNs and bloodwork results and I could've sworn my nipples were looking larger... Then again, I ascribe it to "everything is a symptom" during the 2ww.

Hope you're doing well and your baby is growing healthy and strong!


Xerxella: how are you doing?


Everyone else: wave.gif


AFM: not sure where I stand, the doc said wait "a couple of months" but he sort of mentioned it off-handedly and didn't say to absolutely not try anything. My mindset is more NTNP right now, I figure without the Clomid our chances are low... Still spotting a bit here and there, eager to get my body back to normal, going in for more bloodwork today to check hcg numbers.

I've told my close clients and while that was hard it was also very healing. I needed to acknowledge what happened and not just shove it into a dark corner of my mind.

DH and I were intimate for the first time in a long time yesterday and that was nice too. I thought I would feel more emotional about it but it was ok.

post #198 of 215
So glad to hear you're slowly recovering and healing, Dakipode. I think as soon as you feel physically and emotionally ready, is a good time to start trying. Also, given your history of an ectopic, I don't think anyone is going to think badly of you for wanting early testing.

Kiddos are much better, thanks, DH and I caught the bug too...some sort of stomach flu, I guess, cause we all had the same symptoms. It really sucks to have a sick kid, but it's even worse when you're sick yourself and can't take care of your kids...and when everyone is sick at the same time is the definition of madness! I feel like we got off easy, this time, though, cause our DDs got sick on separate days, so on Friday I stayed home and slept with DD2 all day, while DD1 was at daycare. These are the kinds of things that make me question if we should really have more kids...being able to care for a sick kid...

On Friday, a dear friend who lives far away had a c-section with her first baby (planned, for a breech), so I've been on standby all weekend with breast feeding support, trying to help her with her latch via text. They are home now, and it sounds like things are going a bit better, so I am finally starting to relax too. It's so hard to be so far away and not be able to help my friend when she's struggling. I struggled so much with breast feeding at first, and really had to fight to get it to work, but I live in a big city with lots of resources, while my friend lives in a small town with not much BFing support. Like, the hospital doesn't even have an LC on staff greensad.gif
post #199 of 215

oasis & LilyKay - I am so with you on feeling that chart gazing can be like staring at magic eye art! You made me laugh...


Dakipode - Good to have you back. Continual healing vibes coming your way. 


Lida - Glad to hear you are all feeling better. I can imagine it would be as prime a time as any to let some doubt in your mind about TTC another child. And what a great gift to be able to provide some remote support to your friend.


Peaceful - Hope you've gotten some good news by now. FX for you!


Afm, our final insem of the cycle is complete. Now we wait and see what Christmas has in store for us. I'm heading out of town for a few days on business which should keep me somewhat distracted and reunite me with some good friends. I probably won't make it back online much before the weekend, so good luck to everyone!

post #200 of 215

Congratulations GISDiva!!!!!!! Looks like conference booking and negative thinking worked. :-)


Oasis, I agree with everyone else that there is no need to beat yourself up. It's very likely that even if those things make a difference, it's a small difference. I work with statistics and plenty of things that are "significant" have such small effects that they're not worth worrying about.


LilyKay, I get a dull ache in my right abdomen all the time. I've read so many things into it as well.


Thanks Dakipode, for some reason Pokey's quote has made me think of Finding Nemo "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...". I hope you get some peace from NTNP for a bit. That's what I'm supposed to be doing, and it's a nice break for me.


AFM - I am having some very unpleasant right abdomen pain that is not typical for AF. It's keeping me up at night. I went to the doctor today, and they couldn't figure out what it is wrong. They did a pregnancy test, just in case, but it was negative. I wish that been the problem. In good news, I have a job interview this Thursday that I am very excited about!

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