I am a father who is having big difficulties getting my son to have anything to do with school.
About 1 yr ago my son has come to live with me, as his mother and step father were having a hard time to get him to do anything academically. Since he started living with me, we had our ups and downs, trying to get him to do school work. He ended up getting pushed through grade 8 with a 35-40% grade average in every subject. We were told that making him repeat grade 8 might be emotionally crippling. The teachers suggested we get him tested for a learning disability, which we agreed to. After all the tests were done, they pointed toward weaknesses in the ability of attention, and stress modifiers. But they suggested we see a psychologist, which could then analyze him to see if a psychiatrist is needed.
After his appointment with the psychologist, which took 4 months to see, she referred him to see a psychiatrist, which he has been put on a 6-8 month waiting list.
Now we are 3 months into grade 9 he started off the first week, in a modified class of 20 students which also have similiar needs. He seems to work better when he is doing 1 on 1 studies with a teacher, but slips the moment that teacher goes to help someone else. He has always had a poor attitude toward schooling and, more often than not, would rather a)disrupt others in class, b)disrupt the entire class any time teacher leaves the room, c)irritate the teacher until he is asked to sit in the hallway for a cool off. Which he then immediately takes off to find others to hang out with on or off school property.
When he is escorted to the principals office he sits at a desk and does some school work, but gets frustrated easily, then waits for the period to end and starts over same routine for next class.
He constantly comes to class bare handed because he leaves his school supplies either at home or in his locker in school and tells the teacher he doesnt have any school supplies. He has been known to give away his pens, pencils to others, thinking if he doesnt have the supplies, he wont have to do the work. Last year we bought 3 replacement textbooks (at $50 per) for various classes as he lost the others.
The above is when he goes to school.
Now first its roughly 3-4 times a week he goes to school. The rest of the time if he decides he is "not in the mood" for school, he either waits for both myself and my common-law wife to leave for work, then he either goes to school via the bus, then just turns around and leaves to do whatever he feels, plays sick, or just outright refuses to leave the house in the first place.
We have asked him many times if he is having problems with bullies, feels picked on or any other reason why he hates school so much, but he wont open up to us or just says he hates school with a passion, and that its a waste of time, and would like to go to work instead.
He also is often seen with other "problem teens" at school, skipping out, and as of lately has experimented with marijuana. In which he was found passed out on the boys bathroom floor.
I fear, that waiting for the visiting psychiatrist in another 5 months, it might be too late.
He has no interest in taking any responsibilty for his actions, and thinks we are over reacting about stressing to him he has to think about his future.
I am desperately trying to find a solution to my problem and he is close to getting kicked of school as all of his teachers dont want to deal with him any longer. They have all tried modified teaching methods with him and no matter what they do, the results are the same.
Both myself and my spouse need to work so we can provide a comfortable life, so home schooling isnt an option. I spend lots of 1-1 time with him at home during the evenings. He is a good person, easy to talk to and we have fun.
We have tried the reward system for doing better in school, like internet and friend sleep-overs if he goes to school every day and keeping teachers at least moderately happy, but he does what he wants regardless what we offer him.
When we take away internet/ps3 privileges away, he becomes even worse at school. He says when we take everything away he gets in a bad mood, and rages inside and just shuts down completely.
I have thought about teen boot camp and/or Military school, but wanna use as last resort as I am unsure if he would run away before we could get him there.
Please help with any ideas, any/all comments would be greatly appreciated.