or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › I'm Pregnant › Three under 25? -Vent-
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Three under 25? -Vent-

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 

Soooo just told my cousin that my hubby and I were expecting # 3. She congratulated me, said she was so happy for us, and even jealous. Then longer into the convo she stops and says, "OMG ur gonna have 3 kids and u'll only be 24. How do you feel about that?" Ummmmm feeling good...we planned it, we're married, we're good parents, we can afford it....Show me the problem again? 

 

I took offense to it, but didn't get angry since she admitted she was jealous. I could have thrown in her face that her boyfriend is a father with two kids who have two different mothers....BUT I don't have issues with happily blended families...I think a happy family is a happy family no matter how many moms and dads their are. I've always been supportive of her because she fears people will look down to her.

 

My age was a big factor in this equation. It was like this, do it now while we're young or be done for good. 

 

My reply to her was...I'll be 44 when my youngest is 20...So yup feeling good:) I also explained that we wanted to do it while I was able to stay home until the child was in kindergarten. 

 

UGHHHH! Why does this make me so mad?! Maybe I feared people would look at us like that? Our 1st and 2nd weren't planned. We've been clear that this one was...I guess deep down I knew there would be the "Oh my! Three kids? What are they thinking?" Just hoped it wouldn't happen. 

 

Anyone else defending their decisions??

 Thanks for reading:)

post #2 of 29

Just ignore her! People will ALWAYS find something to complain, gripe & b*tch about, lol. As long as you are happy, in the end that is all that matters! You live only to please yourself and those in your home (S/O kids etc...)

 

I had my 3rd child, 10 days after my 21st birthday!! And I LOVE being a 32 year old mom to 3 teens!! I am still young enough to be into all of the new fads, I can get active outside with them, I'd not have it any other way :) Now the fact that I am about to have another baby, with my "Baby" now, being 12 already....That's insane, rofl

 

But yeah, people will talk, they will always talk, gossip, or find something to try & bring you down about, but don't let them get to you! Congrats!!

post #3 of 29

I agree, you have to make the decisions that are right for your family. My DH and I started young, but we spaced our kids out, that's what works for us.  Don't let other peoples prejudice get you down.

post #4 of 29
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the replies:) On a better note my sil came over to help make pies for thanksgiving and couldn't stop taking about how excited her and her parents are for us(she's 17). That made me feel better and realized that maybe my cousin just wishes it were her..
post #5 of 29

I feel you.  Really.  I'm 24 and we are also expecting baby #3....  Married at 19, first baby at 20 (11 months later exactly!), second at 22, and third will be at 25!  I ignore the naysayers.
 

post #6 of 29

I had 3 kids by 25. I'm on number 4 at 27. LOL Originally, I was think I'd wait until I was 25 to have my first, but things changed and I'm happy about it.

 

I don't think I would have taken offense at that comment from your friend. I actually don't think she meant it the way you took it. Especially being that she is "jealous." She was probably just making a "fun" observation. Like wow, you are unique, you'll have all your kids before you're 25. 

post #7 of 29

Dayiscoming, I didn't realize we were so close in age. For some reason I got the impression you were maybe 30 give or take.

 

Anyway, I have noticed that certain people have issues when people have more than 2 children that aren't spaced 3 or 4 years apart. I don't get it, but whatever. I don't think your friend meant it that way but I am just saying I have been really surprised how people treat families of more than 2 kids. I will be just barely 26 when this babe is due and it is also my third. Our first was stillborn at 38 weeks and then we had an early m/c as well so technically my 4th pregnancy in 4 years by the time I am due. (I am due 2 days after our 4th anniversary) My best friend will be 24 when her third is born and she was just commenting the other weekend how next summer when we get together we will be up to 5 kids between us from just the 3 of them this last summer. Idk, we are looking forward to it.

post #8 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by BaileyB View Post

Dayiscoming, I didn't realize we were so close in age. For some reason I got the impression you were maybe 30 give or take.

 

 

My husband is 30. He'll be 31 when number 4 comes along. smile.gif

 

I think age is irrelevant as long as you are a responsible parent.

post #9 of 29

Too funny. My husband just turned 29 a couple of weeks ago.

post #10 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by cinderella08 View Post

I feel you.  Really.  I'm 24 and we are also expecting baby #3....  Married at 19, first baby at 20 (11 months later exactly!), second at 22, and third will be at 25!  I ignore the naysayers.
 

 

About the same here.  Married at 18, and now at 27 have been pregnant 11 times (though we only have 3 living children, and are expecting #4).  People will always find something to pick apart in your life. ;)

post #11 of 29

I'm 26 and having my 3rd, and so happy to get it done now instead of later too. We never wanted a huge family, said 2-3 kids, so we're discussing permanent options to prevent another after this. If we had wanted lots though starting like this would be the way to do that as well. Kids all out of the house by age 46 sounds pretty nice to me.

post #12 of 29

My fifth is due in February and I'll be 25 in April. I've been told I don't look old enough to have one! ROTFLMAO.gifPeople will always have their intrusive comments/advice/questions, I just try not to let it get to me.

post #13 of 29

I am in the opposite boat so I can relate to the jealously of wishing to have had children younger. In my early 20s I did so so much better with less sleep and had significantly more energy which would be so helpful with toddlers. Of course I made the decision that was right at the time, but there are such strong advantages to both having kids young and advantages to waiting depending on one's situation. 

post #14 of 29

I was slightly older when I conceived my first (24) but I remember feeling sensitive to comments about how "young" I was. Then I had 2 by 26 and felt very much the youngest one at school, out at the playground, etc., for a long time. I finally feel like with this pregnancy, at 31, I'm "old" enough in some peoples' eyes, which is ridiculous! Being a young mom is wonderful if it works for you. Embrace it!

post #15 of 29

I had my first baby 3 days before my 19th birthday. And I have a baby face! Now at 23 and expecting our 3rd, I guess I still look very young, because people ask questions with the intention of getting to know my age, like "Your WAY too young to have children!!!". Sometimes I'm tempted to answers that most girls now have the rules by 12 years old.... But most of the ladies asking questions are old and curious and do not mean to be rude. Most of them congratulate me for being so "couragous" after, anyway!

 

Not only the fact of us being young, but my in-laws are young grand-parents and they love it too! They are very avaible. I love to know that my kids will know them alive and healthy for a long time. If I'm shopping with my MIL, people usually think she is the mother, thought! It's her that get "stats" questions from stranger and they get all surprised if my kids call her grand-ma. She's 45.

 

I've never really felt juged by my age in playgrounds, etc. However I did felt juged by care-providers that somehow think I need to be saved.... Until they see I have a very supportive husband and family. BUT, I have an alternative lifestyle, and that I feel being juged for being different....sometimes our age (my BF is 5 months older) seems to be part of the "lot" of things we do differently.

post #16 of 29

I'm 23 and pregnant with our 2nd and 3rd. I'm sure that people have stupid thoughts about me being young with 3 kids, but being a mom is exactly what I want to be doing in my life right now! Try not to let people get to you. I'm sure it is just jealousy. 
Isn't it funny that I'm freaking out about turning 24 because I feel old? twins.gif

post #17 of 29

My mom had my three older brothers in the early to mid 1960s, back when it was not uncommon to get married out of high school and start churning out kids.  People at church and the study group she currently belongs to ask about her children (a great source of pride for her), and when she tells them they say with a gasp "Ohhh you had three little boys by the time you were 25! You must have been crazy!  Did you not know how that happens??" 
 

So there you have it.  My mom's 71 and she's still hearing stupid comments.

 

(And don't even get me started on the ones who say I must have been an accident since she had me at 36.)

 

People be crazy!  duh.gif  smile.gif

post #18 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by withlittlelungs View Post

Isn't it funny that I'm freaking out about turning 24 because I feel old? twins.gif

I had a friend freak out when she turned 26 because she was now closer to 50 than 1!

post #19 of 29

I had my fourth when I was 23.

post #20 of 29
Congratulations! I've found that no matter when you choose to have kids or how long you wait in between or how many you have, there are always people who are convinced and will tell you that you are doing it wrong. I think people often confuse what would be right for them for what is right for everyone.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: I'm Pregnant
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › I'm Pregnant › Three under 25? -Vent-