Oh, I feel for you. My older daughter never really did take a bottle, even after I went back to work, causing tons of stress for all concerned. This time around, it's been better but still hit or miss--some days my baby will take it no problem something my older daughter never did, but then other days she wants nothing to do with it.
FWIW, here's a copy of an email I wrote to a friend about the issue a while back, when she was stressing about returning to work when her son didn't take a bottle:
Ohh, the bottle dilemma. Yup, we definitely went through this,
and it is really stressful. I can only give you one piece
of certain advice--you will be able to return to work, and P will
not starve! Really, one way or another he’s going to get the milk he
needs. But I know that when you are in the middle of it, it doesn’t
always feel like that.
So, other advice, since I have spent way too much time thinking and
reading about this and talking to my friends who babies were going
through the same thing. It seems like there are basically three types
of kids (putting aside those magical babies that just take to a bottle
immediately ;)). Some babies, it’s just a matter of trying lots of
different variables. So if you haven’t already, I’d try just about
whatever variation you can think of—different bottles (the Playtex
drop-ins with rubber nipples worked best for us), different types of
nipples (the trick is to match to your flow, so if like me you have a
really fast flow, you actually will probably have better luck with a
fast flow nipple made for older babies), warm v. cold, freshly pumped
milk v. frozen, daddy v. mommy v. someone else giving the bottle,
hungry v. less hungry, different positions (being held, while in a
swing or seat--this actually worked best for Annabelle, walking
around). One of those or some combination just might do the trick.
Oh, and I found that filing bottles with only an ounce or two while we
were trying all this was really helpful so I didn’t feel like I was
wasting so much precious milk.
Then there are a large number of babies who none of this will seem to
work for, but when you go back to work, all it will take is a day or
two for them to realize that you are gone, and they take to the bottle
like a champ and never look back. This is actually really common. So,
while you shouldn’t give up on offering the bottle over the next few
weeks, don’t make yourself too crazy about it, and just figure that
even if he’s only ever had an ounce of milk there is a definitely
possibility that he’ll just start drinking tons one you go back.
And then there are babies, like my little girl, who nope, don’t
really have a magical transformation when mom goes back to work. But
even then, we got through it with no harm done. Basically we continued
to do a mix of trying different variables, and also introduced a
regular cup (she was about 5 months old). Obviously you have to hold a
regular cup for the baby, but they can actually lap it up from pretty
early, and overall she ended up liking a cup better than a
bottle. We liked the silicone cups for a good mix of flexibility,
strength, and safety. She tried a sippy cup too, but this didn’t work
so well at this age—most of the “no-spill” ones are really hard to get
anything out of. Eventually she started taking about 4-8 oz a day
in a mix between a cup and a bottle. (Oh and she liked a spoon too,
although that doesn’t really get you quantity). She never seemed
hungry or upset during the day. The rest of the milk she got when I
was home—I’d feed her in the mornings and evenings (at first twice in
the morning and twice in the evening) as well as during the night (We
co-slept so it was actually not too bad for my sleep). This is common
enough to have a name—reverse cycling. I know it’s not for everyone,
but it actually worked out fine for me, in some ways all that contact
when I was home was a blessing in that it made being away for work
easier to deal with. Since I didn’t mind it, I didn’t try to change
it (until she was around 1 and I did start to mind the night nursing).
And eventually, they start eating more solids and needing less milk
anyway. That said, if night nursing is not something you are open
too, I’m pretty confident that the baby will still eventually figure
out a way, one way or another, to get in enough calories.
(Post script, my friend's baby took a bottle the first day she went back to work and was completely fine after that)
Good luck!!
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