11/18 Weekly Chat Thread « Back to Group Discussions

[segolilymama]

Hi mamas, thought I'd get us started this week since I was here :)

I can totally relate to the claustrophobic feelings. DS3 is 6, and a total lover. Wants a million hugs, wants to kiss my belly constantly, etc - and I feel like such a grump, but I get to a point and say "ok one more then mommy needs some space.' And DP wants to cuddle all the time right now, and I know that when baby arrives I will be less available, but OMG I just want to be left alone a lot of the time, lol.

I have been having a ton of contrax today - nothing too painful, but definitely not BH. They are regular, constant, and mild. If this is the beginning of my normal pattern, I should be giving birth on Tuesday. Which is the absolute worst day possible, as my 90 year old Gma is flying in that day, grrr.... Anyway, I am hoping this is NOT it, although Tuesday is also my 'go' day for homebirth, so at least that would be good. I'm off to take a shower & nap - wish me luck, we have 15 kids here this weekend. Ugh.

[travelmumma]

Hi mummas.

I understand the claustrophobic feelings. Last night I debated wether or not to sleep on the couch because I didn't want to be too near DH in a physical or emotional way..

Thank goodness for having you lot here.. Sometimes I feel like no one else "gets it"...
Am getting pissy at people in real life (some anyway)... No matter what I say or do they want to disagree, sometimes nicely and other times not!
I feel like shouting "YES I KNOW I'm a first timer and have the possibility of going late, but if I'm losing my mucus plug, have been having leaks with contrax 2 mins apart lasting for 50 seconds, DONT YOU THINK IM ALLOWED TO THINK IT MEANS SOMETHING OR JUST GET EXCITED??!??!?!?!?!?".... Urgh!!!!!!
And then of course if I do say "oh I'm a first timer, I'm not expecting anything til after Christmas" people say "but look how big you are, and you have had so many signs! I not think you will make it!"
Urgh well make up your effing mind will ya!!! When I told a friend/acquaintance last night about whT was happening she told me it was all in my head, tht mucus plugs can regenerate (yes I know they can) that amniotic sacs can reseal (yes I know...) and that contrax can die down (yes I know)... But come on! Let me have my excitement and questioning! And I know he jut doesn't want me to get my hopes up and then go for another 7 weeks but its sooooooo effing annoying like she knows my instincts/body better than I do! Idiot!

Ok rant over! We had our Thanks Giving meal yesterday! We obviously can't have it on Thurs cos we don't get the day off. But OH MY GOODNESS THE FOOD WAS SPECTACULAR!!!!!!! I had never had pumpkin pie, pecan pie or corn bread before!!!! Ahhh so delicious! Even as a vegetarian it was good lol!!
Not much else here. Just trying to deal with emotions and keep my midwife up to date.. I have cancelled a few appointments today as I literally do not want to leave my cave...
Urgh we will see

[tropicana74]

I think that I am starting to hit THAT point. You know, I look and feel really pregnant but know that I am nowhere near having this LO. With dd I had no stretch marks, with ds I got a couple down low when I went 40+ weeks, today I noticed I have several new ones already at 37 weeks! Also, the veins on my breasts are so, so dark today...like a freakin' road map of dark purple and blue all over my chest, really uncomfortable BH every 3-5 minutes off and on all day, can't eat much, nothing much fits anymore. You get the idea. The "I know I am nearing the end BUT know that the end is not near enough".  My gut all along has said this is going to be a 41 weeker so that means I've got about a month to go. I was hoping to avoid being the cranky pregnant lady this time but I am afraid I may be getting there..maybe it's just unavoidable and part of the process!! 

travelmumma, hang in there. What you are describing is the not so fun part about doing this for the first time. I remember feeling many of those things myself. Really though on a good note it is a really good thing that you are dealing with a MW and not some OB. That would REALLY make the whole thing more stressful! Sounds like you have a low key MW that is just going to go with the flow and let your body and your baby do what they need to do! You will be holding that baby soon one way or the other. 

So glad I am not alone in the claustrophobia thing. It makes me feel so bad but there is not much I can do about it except try to be patient with my little ones. 

[kel]

I feel the same tropicana - that I'm really pregnant, but know I have a long way to go.  I'm tired a lot now, and cranky, and it's hard to lean over for anything or get comfortable in any way - whether it's sitting on the couch or laying down to sleep.  My babies don't drop until labor and I'm so short of breathe all the time with this babe now - do *not* remember having this with any of the others - which I can only imagine is going to get worse 4 or 5 more baby pounds from now.  I still have 7 weeks until my due date!  sigh.  I love this pregnancy, but now that I'm gasping all the time;) - another possible two months seems like an awful long time.  I think the earliest I've ever gone is a week past due...

[annaka]

I agree, travelmumma! It's so nice to be able to relate to you all! I believe you are going to do great... hang in there! And Kel and tropicana: 6 weeks til due date for me and I'm feeling super guilty for wishing I'd go ASAP because I'm getting so tired of sharing this body while dealing with my 1yo and 2yo climbing all over me, too! Seems like forever left to go! But then I have the symptoms starting that are driving me crazy thinking, what if I do go early as I did with my last baby?! Lots of thoughts and questions race through my mind so many times a day. The calm I felt a month ago, even a week ago, has disappeared and I'm feeling overwhelmed. I was enjoying being pregnant, now I'm just getting plain crabby! (Freak out moment.)
DEEP BREATH.....    This is the lesson that I'm being taught: I am not in control. I need to let it go as meant and just take it day by day.

Help. I guess I need to just start that list of things to do and stay busy for the next couple weeks.

Anyways, the most important thing is: a healthy baby! Now just give me strength to not go crazy(or drive my DH crazy)! 

[phatchristy]

I can completely hear in so many of your 'voices' how we all seem to be entering some higher 'ansy' sort of 'waiting game'.  Hey, I'm starting to feel it here and I think I have a 'ways' to go.  Not even sure which date I should go by.  I think I have me as close to 35 and I have me as more like 34.  OK, well either way I have two dates, but even now I feel so big in the tummy and even 5 or 6 weeks seems like a LONG time.  Though instinctively I know I've been here before and it can be like a few blinks to when I'm holding the babe.  Some moments time passes so slowly.  

Sego, next week already?  LOL  Knowing already that I'm going to watch most moms birth before me because I'm at the end of the month...I guess I have to be patient.

Made an awesome batch of chili tonight using up some fresh tomatoes, peppers, onions, some meat and loads of beans.  I didn't over spice it and didn't overeat so hopefully no massive heartburn.  I can hope at least LOL.  Made enough for lunch the next couple of days as I want something easy to reheat.

[mamaharrison]

I definitely am nearing {or there} THAT point in pregnancy, as Tropicana put it! I am feeling much like you and Kel, except my 'go' date is Thanksgiving {37 weeks for legal HBMW in FL} and I am 3+ weeks away from EDD. 2 weeks ago I was feeling very birthy and babe was really low--felt like I was sitting on baby head, but things changed this week. Baby rotated from left to right and I no longer feel like I a sitting on a baby head, which is lovely, but also frustrating. I don't feel like I am as close as I did then, but I know I WILL have a baby soon....even if soon isn't soon enough! haha
Ideally my EDD would be great timing since DH has his last exam of the semester that day and to go earlier would really not be awesome since he would still need to devote time and energy to school. I want him to be 'free' and able to enjoy the babymooning--last time he had 2 weeks off and the first 4 days got eaten up by my epic long labor and then got a terrible cold from being up and awake for my long ass labor and was basically in bed for the rest of his time off work :/ This time he has 3 weeks solid off and we really want it to be completely off--no work/no school! So...I had a talk with the baby and said--we can slow down and wait and I think it REALLY worked and have mixed feelings now--haha. Cause I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO pregnant right now! I cannot go out without getting all of those knowing stares from older ladies and then the 'are you gonna have the baby NOW' comments from the ignorant masses. Luckily I don't leave home often since we only have 1 car. I am not comfortable at all! Can't really imagine going another 4 weeks, but......*sigh*......I will make it somehow.

[madis81]

Originally Posted by segolilymama 

I can totally relate to the claustrophobic feelings. DS3 is 6, and a total lover. Wants a million hugs, wants to kiss my belly constantly, etc - and I feel like such a grump, but I get to a point and say "ok one more then mommy needs some space.' And DP wants to cuddle all the time right now, and I know that when baby arrives I will be less available, but OMG I just want to be left alone a lot of the time, lol.

    Ugh! I can totally relate to this and sometimes I just feel so awful for telling my kids "no more snuggles, mama needs her space".  Yet, it is just so sweet my kigs snuggle up and give the belly rubs, higs, and kisses and talk to the baby.

Feeling really crabby over here too. I get so irritated and moody. My poor DH has been very understanding. My oldest DD is just like, "Mom, it's ok, I know you're pregnant." And my younger 2 must be oblivious, or they just ignore me.

Still waiting for these contractions to actually turn into something real. They are obviously doing something!

[segolilymama]

It's funny, I am feeling in THAT space as well. What a shift for so many of us, all at once! Realizing there were less than 48 hours until my 37 week/legal homebirth date today was good - as I mentioned above, contractions all day long, and I do NOT want to have to go to a hospital just because baby was a couple of days shorter than that. I actually decided today that if I did really end up in labor, I would UC at home and call the MW after. I am totally comfortable with the idea, DP is nervous about it but gets my logic. The contrax still haven't stopped, even after a nice warm soak in the hot tub. So, a little glass of wine, and bed for this mama!

Oh, and TM, stick your fingers in your ears, go 'lalalalalalala' and ignore everyone ;)

[jakesmama]

All of a sudden I feel huge and unwieldy, though people are telling me that I look 6 months not 8 months...awww, what nice friends I have!

I'm an emotional wreck! My mouth has no filter, I cry at the *idea* of a pin dropping and am completely and utterly brainless. Seriously, I consider myself an intelligent woman but don't blame anyone who thinks otherwise at this point. I don't remember this from the last 2 but I'm sure it happened!

Sego- how exciting, it sounds like things might be moving along for you!

[Mamabeakley]

Hm.  I'm having 'space' issues too although it's more mental and about demand than physical (that might because I have one physically demonstrative child, two who think hugs and kisses give cooties, and a not-very-cuddly spouse, too, though!)  DD took a late nap yesterday, woke up at 8 pm (!), and had a massive meltdown from 10 (bedtime in our house) to 11 while I sat and listened to her wail and scream and finally coaxed her into bed.  This morning I don't want anyone talk to me, look at me, or ask me to do anything for them.  Unfortunately, kids do actually need to eat breakfast, etc. . . .

Travelmumma . . . whether you have your baby tomorrow or in 5 weeks, all of this is part of your pregnancy and labor path.  It's fine to be excited or anxious or whatever you are.  Also fine to be pissed at rude people!    

[zebrachick83]

Travelmumma, the same thing happened to me with my first pregnancy. I've gotten to where I don't even talk to people about my pregnancies in detail anymore unless they're people like you gals.  When someone asks "How are you feeling?" I just say "Fine". When they say "I know you're ready for it to be over with." I say "No, I'm okay with whenever she decides to come." Then they're kind of stuck because they don't know what else to say...lol.

I'm with you, mamaharrison. Four or five weeks ago, it felt like I was going to have the baby anytime and now that we're 38 weeks, it feels like it's not going to happen any time soon. Although, I have been having more frequent and more uncomfortable BHs and I've developed a persistent low backache, so I know it's close. It just doesn't feel close, though. Such is pregnancy. 

[lovingsong]

Zebrachick I feel the same way! Now that I am just about 38 weeks I really don't feel like it's going to happen in the next week or two (honestly I can't even imagine it happening that soon!), even though until now I was almost positive I'd be giving birth at 37 weeks!

[kateadelle]

Ladies!

I somehow managed to miss an entire week of all of your lovely updates. I had a very eventful week starting with getting to come out of doula retirement for the lovely homebirth of one of my closest friends. She and I have been pregnancy buddies with due dates almost exactly a month apart from each other. I was so humbled to get to be there as she brought her baby girl into the world. It was not a particularly long labor, and I didn't have to miss any sleep (thank god) but I was still pretty exhausted the next day when DP's father called to announce that we was going to unexpectedly be in town (he is a truck driver, so these surprises occur sometimes). He was well-behaved, but he is still a pretty difficult person and visits with him are usually stressful for everyone involved. Finally this weekend, I went down to a friend's farm to "harvest" our thanksgiving turkey. Killing my own meat is an experience that I have always wanted to have since I try to be thoughtful about my carnivorous ways. However, I am not sure that I ever thought I would be 36 weeks pregnant and doing it! It was a really interesting/intense experience and I am glad to have had it, but again, it was physically and emotionally exhausting. I think I was really paying for all this excitement yesterday because I had a really hard day. My body was really hurting, which didn't help, but mostly I was just feeling really super emotional. There was a lot of crying and yelling, I am ashamed to say. So, it is nice to check in here and see that I am not the only one!

[Harmony96]

So, a friend of ours from church called me today to invite me and DH and the kids over for lunch on Thursday, since we didn't have any other plans right now, and she figured that we weren't going to be doing a lot of cooking, being so close to my due date or whatever. During the course of the conversation, she asked when my due date was, and so I told her 12/27. Then she started to say something else, and then she backed up and was, like, "Oh, TWELVE 27. I thought you were closer than that." lol. I told her no, but it looks like I am, lol.

[Harmony96]

Oops forgot to sub.

[segolilymama]

Kate the is very cool about the turkey! We have chickens and required all of the kids to be there when we slaughtered the first one. We all have a commitment to the kids understanding where food comes from, etc. Of course there were lots of discussions before, and a few tears after. Only one of the kids decided at that time that she was going to be a vegetarian. We said fine, of course, but it lasted all of about 2 days when she refused to eat any other decent protein sources (beans, nuts, etc), and said she was just going to eat the meat - but not THAT rooster, lol. He was already eaten up by that point :)

I'm still pregnant ;) Was up once an hour last night between bathroom runs & contractions. More contractions again today, too. Oh, and I just painted the hallway bathroom... nesting much???? Seriously, I was pretty much thinking i HAVE to clean the entire house immediately, or find a good project. So I scrubbed a few walls, then decided on painting the bathroom. It's very pretty :)

[Mamabeakley]

Ooog.  Not eating makes me feel horrible.  Eating makes me feel horrible.  Back to the beginning!  Ugh, though.

I'm glad your bathroom is pretty, Sego!  My office is almost tidy :-)  And my cars are cleaned out (not detailed or anything - just removed the trash and things that belong in the house so I could test out installing the infant seat.)

I believe in theory I should be willing to kill my own meat, but in practice, I am too squeamish.  I mean, I can kill it, but then I can't eat it. It grosses me out. Or I can eat it, but let somebody else kill it - and butcher it to a point where it's not obviously the same shape as a living animal.  Compromise: I have to know about (in general) how meat is killed and butchered, but I don't have to do it myself.  And when I have the financial ability to choose, I choose meat that comes from animals that were treated well when alive.

[esp831]

Happy new week all!  We're having flooding type rain here, so I'm skipping class and snuggling with the toddler.  But, by the end of the day I have to tell the whole family that I'm touched out and they all need to leave me alone.  Seriously, at that point I want to come out of my skin if anyone needs physical affection, it's awful!

Sego, sounds like things are moving right along for you mama!  Did you find a good stevia pumpkin pie recipe?  Are you also gf?  I have a girlfriend who is a gluten free cookbook writer if you want to email her, she is amazingly resourceful and her blog has many of her recipes:  www.thedailydietribe.com.  I felt awful about mentioning those cookies "in front" of you.  How is your blood sugar these days?  Sounds like you won't have to be checking it much longer :)

TM-Those comments are the worst!  With my first I finally stopped talking to people.  Stopped answering the phone etc, it was just miserable to hear everyone's input and to have them downplay on my excitement because I was a new mama.  It was very difficult, I feel your pain.  You have every right to be excited, because your body is definitely revving up!  Regardless of when the baby comes, you can be excited knowing that your body and the baby getting prepared, that's wonderful! 

It sounds like I'm in good company with the physical/emotional space issues, discomfort pretty much all of the time, hormonal rages/tears, feeling so pregnant but also knowing there is a ways to go.  I want to cherish these last few weeks, and of course I still have so much to do, but I am so ready for this to be over and to have our sweet babe to hold in my arms (not directly in my pelvis, which feels like its splitting apart).  I'm chugging along with the strong BH contrax, sometimes painful contrax, sometimes time-able sometimes not increase with activity train.  Lost a little mucus, have a low backache, want to clean everything, baby is low but still moving quite a bit etc.  This could go on for 4 more days or 4 more weeks with my history, so I'm just trying to spend a little time every day to meditate and connect with the baby. 

My in-laws are going out of town for Thanksgiving and the rest of the weekend, and they are supposed to take care of the other kids while this babe is born, so I hope we make it through Sunday.   We also finally found a doula!  I made a connection with a new friend who knows basically the whole natural birth community in Seattle, and she connected us with a no fee doula.  We met her yesterday and she is wonderful.  DH, DD1, and DD2 loved her as well, so I took that as a sign that she is the one for us. 

[kateadelle]

Originally Posted by segolilymama 

Kate the is very cool about the turkey! We have chickens and required all of the kids to be there when we slaughtered the first one. We all have a commitment to the kids understanding where food comes from, etc. Of course there were lots of discussions before, and a few tears after. Only one of the kids decided at that time that she was going to be a vegetarian. We said fine, of course, but it lasted all of about 2 days when she refused to eat any other decent protein sources (beans, nuts, etc), and said she was just going to eat the meat - but not THAT rooster, lol. He was already eaten up by that point :)

My farmer friend had a whole Turkey Life Celebration complete with pot luck that day, and there were a lot of kids there. I have a picture of me gutting the turkey with another mama wearing her babe standing behind me. There was a girl who was about age 4 there, who was completely into the whole process and very matter-of-fact about it. She was pretty fierce. Someone asked me if it was any more poignant doing the killing while pregnant and all I could say is what got me through the whole thing emotionally was finding some primal mother place inside me who could kill anything to take care of my baby.

Originally Posted by Mamabeakley 

I believe in theory I should be willing to kill my own meat, but in practice, I am too squeamish.  I mean, I can kill it, but then I can't eat it. It grosses me out. Or I can eat it, but let somebody else kill it - and butcher it to a point where it's not obviously the same shape as a living animal.  Compromise: I have to know about (in general) how meat is killed and butchered, but I don't have to do it myself.  And when I have the financial ability to choose, I choose meat that comes from animals that were treated well when alive.

One of the definitely thoughts I walked away with from the day is absolute gratitude that I get to make the choice to do the killing and that I am still able to get good quality meat without doing the dirty work myself. We are especially lucky that DP works for that large grocery store chain that sells organic/sustainable food and we get a nice discount.