11/18 Weekly Chat Thread - Page 3
Cielo - I wanted to respond to your post. Sounds like you are doing a great job of working through your feelings. Have you talked with your DH about your needs for more intimacy and tenderness - I know you said you're in survival mode, but maybe you can get a some of those needs met by just asking for them. Maybe just a little cuddling or even a hug would help!
About the breastfeeding issues - are you getting the support you need a LC or support group like LLL can be super helpful.
Your comment about feeling alone even with all the people in the house - could it be that your a bit depressed, a little PPD? Maybe reach out for some support along those lines, talk with your care providers or find a support group. Even though this is your second it is still a huge transition and can be overwhelming when you go to term, but you had a super stressful birth - you must have a lot of feelings to process!
Hang in there mama and get the support you need!
OK a little bit better update (hot-spotting off a friends phone, hoping we may get cable/internet back today).
So a coupe days ago a truck came by and pulled lines down off our property. Long story that involves cops, fire trucks, 6 city trucks, 4 hours Wednesday night with no power (thankfully we got the baking done first!), and days of no cable or internet. We found a way to stream the football games through a phone/aircard/laptop combo yesterday lol - the important stuff, right?
Anyway, I'm still laboring along. All day, every day - contractions, some more mild than others, etc. Family is still here til tomorrow evening, I have the sense baby is respecting my request to stay put until they leave, then we shall see what happens! MW was over on Wed afternoon and everything still looks fine with me & baby, so no worries. Just too much going on for labor or birth.
My mom & I cooked like crazy yesterday (and my dad made the chopped liver - OMG so good!), we had a wonderful dinner for 15, and will be eating leftovers for days. I hope you all had great holidays (those of you in the US celebrating!).
I was wondering about you sego!
Here's my latest at 34 weeks - lots of baby hiccups and breathing practice - so so sweet.
I just need to vent a little - DP & I had a HUGE fight last night... long story, he was playing with/teasing my 6yo, who wasn't enjoying it at all, so I yelled at him to stop (yelled so he could hear me across the seven other conversations in the room, not yelled because I was angry), and he got really pissy. Then he locks me out of our bedroom like a 5 year old.... I waited until my family left for the night to talk to him, he was unwilling to take any responsibility for the situation, and then got into this whole other rant... Anyway DH comes in, says he's worried because he knows I need sleep and can he help - in the midst of this I explain my fear of going to bed with something unresolved because I don't want to go into labor with negative crap between us (seriously, it got so bad that at this point there is no way I could have him be my labor support right now), and he says I should just let DH be my labor partner.
I just feel SO hurt right now - like, don't I deserve a break right now, days/weeks before giving birth? I know DP is hurt and upset, but he was seriously acting like a child and saying the most hurtful things... this is not a common thing for us to be in all of these arguments. I need a good hug....
((((hugs)))) Segolily. I have had a rough couple of days with my DH, too. I tried to wake him up in the night last night because I was awake and couldn't sleep and thought we might as well take advantage of this fact but he really just wanted to go back to sleep, although before saying no he did ask if I was having a baby (!). Well, good, at least he'd be willing to wake up if I were in labor
I know for me when he is acting 'childishly' the best thing is for me to do something to take care of myself, even though I really don't want to (so I ate a big bowl of cereal, read a chapter of a fun book, and went back to sleep). And eventually he will decide actually he does want connection somehow. But that's not advice (other than the take care of yourself somehow part.)
I've had some really rough times lately with my dp, too - where I am frantically thinking - how did I get myself into this (ie him, not the baby) and what do I do now? I think most men can be incredibly childish, but that's just my opinion;) I think mamabeakley is right though - it's good to walk away and do something to take care of yourself. I also wrote my dp a long letter about how I felt last week and folded it up and put it in his drawer. A couple days later I saw that he was carrying it around in his pocket, so I'm assuming/hoping he must have read it and took it to heart.
Short version is I'm an IGT mama who would have combo fed due to supply issues even with a full-term baby. I posted about it a whole back but don't have the link handy. Anyway, the plan for "Imaginary Full Term Baby" was that I'd supplement at the breast with an SNS. Matilda however came with a less mature ability to suck/swallow, tires easily, and needs to use her calories to keep her temp up and to put on weight. I got a lot of support from my MWs to express BM and finger-feed that to her, which I continue to do round the clock. But with my glandualr issues, we're talking 10-20 mls/day is all. Still, some is better than none. I'm taking tinctures of goats rue, fenugreek and blessed thistle; eating my oatmeal, drinking milk tea, using warm compresses, etc, etc. It's actually going a million times better than it did with my son (that was a truly devistating experience) but it's a departure from my expectation, which was already a compromise from the ideal if that makes sense. Anyway, she's stronger each day and I'm able to put her to the breast when she's wakeful. She has a good latch but mostly does a non-nutritive, comforting type suck. I may get the SNS out next week and see how that goes as she's almost back to her birthweight and acting more like a newborn baby each day. I haven't decided if I want to get the LC involved or not. I met with one in pregnancy and we came up with Plan A but now I'm not sure if I want to stake my energies in this or not, or to what extent. Lulu you struck something with your comment about mood. I'm keeping an eye on that. This birth/PP period was less traumatic than it could have been but certainly has shaken me a bit.
Mini personals...sego, big hugs and darkblue, congrats on the house.
Yea, someone seriously pushed the fast-forward button....it's flying! December 1st is my "must have everything done" date and that is in 6 days!