Weekly Chat Thread - Nov. 19-25 « Back to Group Discussions

[Quinalla]

Hey all, let's start a new thread!

To continue from last thread...

On potty training, I agree that the parents have to be ready too and frankly until yesterday I was feeling way to run down to deal. I'm going to get right back at it after the Thanksgiving week and weekend as I'm feeling my energetic 2nd trimester kicking in finally and who knows how long it will last! When initially starting to potty train DD, I did use one of those 1-day/3-day potty training methods. She understands very well, but just doesn't really care that she peed on the floor. She tells me at least, but it doesn't seem to bother her. She knows when she is wet even in diapers and can hold it when she chooses (to a toddler level of course, but plenty long to get the the bathroom) and she is aware when she is peeing and pooping, but I think if I am stubborn about keeping her in panties all day long and covering all the rugs with plastic she may get tired of constantly having to change and go with it I also thinks bribes and reasoning will be needed too to get her over the initial hump. Gonna stock up on some smarties and maybe jelly beans and talk to her about how she can't move up to the "big girl room" (3-4 year olds) until she is using the potty. She is motivated to go there because her best friend and several other friends are there and she has the desire to be big. But yeah, I don't mind occasional accidents, but I need to get over the hump of her just not even peeing on the potty at home period, even when she has to go as she will pee 30 seconds after she gets off of it. Maybe I'll have her pick out a new potty, I dunno

But yeah, I'm finally feeling energetic as of Sunday, OMG I got so much done Sunday, my poor house DH has been doing a lot to pick up my slack, but still.

[CoBabyMaker]

Steph, I am so sorry to hear about your brother!  I hope he is on the mend soon.  It sounds like you had some nice family time regardless.

Potty training is actually going pretty well.  I have been leaving her in undies for her naps and she has been fine.  NO accidents for a couple days now which is really nice.  We are still putting her in a diaper at night but I would say about 70% of the time she wakes dry. 

I'm still trying to deal with emotions from family stuff but we had our small group with people from church Saturday night and that was good.  I sort of didn't want to do it and just hide out but I think it's good that we did.   It's good to kind of get outside myself in times when I'm feeling down. 

Each year for as long as I can remember our church has delivered boxes with Thanksgiving dinners to people in the community.  People from the church give addresses of people who need them (be it for financial reasons or just that they have had a rough time for other reasons), I think they contact social services for addresses too.  The youth group has always delivered them by door bell ditching them (there is a letter attached so people know where it's from for safety reasons) which was SO fun when I was younger.  The last couple years there have been more boxes than the youth could deliver so the rest of us get to help, though we don't door bell ditch.  So last night we got to deliver a few boxes with the kids.  I loved being able to share that time with them and talk to them about helping and loving others.  It's always been one of my favorite things because it's such a good, practical way to reach out to the community, no strings attached.  Just, "We love you and want to help."

Last night they didn't have Sunday school for the kids at church for some reason so the kids were in with the adults.  All of a sudden, in the middle of the lesson DD1 (4 yrs. old) blurts out loudly, "But Jesus died on the cross to forgive our sins!"   At first DH and I looked at each other and panicked and then realized she wasn't saying anything bad.  I'm not sure what made her think to do that but it was cute.  People giggled a bit, a few clapped, the pastor said, "You're right, He sure did!"  and that was that.  I'm glad our church is casual and that it wasn't a big deal. 

[adventuregirl]

CBM - so cute! And how wonderful to show the kids the gift of giving to people in need, what a wonderful tradition.

times - so sorry about your brother, I hope his recovery goes well.

On potty training, I just had to share our story. DD did really well and caught on quickly, HOWEVER, for a good 6 months she had a pee accident every day, on the floor. She just didn't seem to care. It was always at home and usually when she had no bottoms at all on (which was difficult to keep them on her at home during that time), but it sure was trying! Its all about figuring our what will work for that particular kid. I realized much later that she almost couldn't tune into the feeling of having to go when she was engaged in something, even if I stopped her and asked. She had a problem with little leaks in kindergarten, she would be wiggling all around like she had to go and when asked, would say she didn't have to. I thought it was stubbornness (which it could have partly been), but after talking with her about it, she really believed that she didn't have to, her brain being engaged almost shut off the connection to the feeling of having to go. To this day, she will wait (or not notice) until it is extremely urgent and it makes me crazy!

[BaileyB]

Here's my repost from the other thread. I posted later yesterday.

We did a pack n play with the bassinet thing in it next to the bed and DD would start the night there and end in our bed. I didn't know what co-sleeping was I just thought I was being a bad mom for letting her sleep with us and nursing her laying down. This time the new babe and I are going to co-sleep on some mattress toppers on the first floor so DD and DH can get good sleep during those first 6-8 weeks of nursing and being up all night. Praying for another good sleeping baby!

I have decided that I am for sure having another girl! I have been trying to be in denial this whole time that I am having another girl but at 16 weeks +1 day my MS has been trying to make a come back along with some goofy food aversions to things I have been eating for over a week. I am hoping it is a last hoorah before it DIES FOR GOOD! But this MS has been almost identical to how it was with my other 2 girls + this babe has the same high heartrate. So I think we are team pink! Our girl name is Penny June! Our other daughter's name is Claira Jae, so they will be CJ and PJ. Bounce bounce bounce!

Other than that we saw that a nice booster seat with the high back was on sale for $30 at target so we got that for DD today. I think we will just wrap it up as a bonus Christmas present. Also, the cold bug has finally stuck our house. DD woke up with it yesterday. So far just a runny nose and a little extra tired for me, but I am sure I am next to get it. Well, got to go take my carrot muffins out of the oven. Hope everyone had a good weekend.

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As for today, it started out kinda crappy. I was hanging over the edge of the bed almost puking into my trash can first thing this morning. Had another morning of the whiniest teary-eyed bossy toddler. I put my finger in her mouth and she is getting another set of molars. I gave her some tylenol and that seemed to help her mood a lot! Before I gave her the tylenol I was pretty much in tears with thought that I had to be by myself for an hour with her before she was going to grandmas and I could go to my appts. It's like she is possessed when she is teething and she just hates me, ugh! Once at grandma's she was happy. She got to eat Trix cereal with Papa and play with the barn cats. I got to get my massage, chiro adjustments, acupuncture, the whole 9 yards. Then I picked her up and we went for ice cream and to the park, since it is gorgeous out today. Now she is back to cranky but she is hungry and her tylenol is long worn off.

Timesaway - sorry to hear about your brother!

Cobabymaker - that is cute!

[nstewart]

Oh BaileyB, rough start to the day!  I hope the massage, chiro, etc. made up for it and that DDs teeth come through quickly!    I think I need to find a chiro that specializes in prenatal.  My back and hips are already starting to give me some trouble.  I'll have to ask my midwife for a recommendation at my apt on Weds.

Co, sounds like a wonderful tradition, and it's so nice that you get to share it with your entire family.  On your DD and church...lol.  But at least it was topically appropriate!  I told a joke at a Christmas concert at church once when I was really little...not so much.  lol.  My poor mom wanted to crawl under a rock.

Katie, YAY on feeling productive!  It feels so great to have the house in order, doesn't it?   I hate looking around at a disaster zone and thinking, "I really need to do something about this" but just feeling to physically exhausted to actually get up and do anything!  I've still been having a lot of that lately.  Maybe I'm just lazy???

Steph, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother!!  That is so stressful. 

We had a nice, quiet weekend this weekend.  Friday I took DS to his new dayhome for a few hours, and he did really well.  After picking him up I asked him what he wanted to do, and he said "Go to Laurie's" (new dayhome provider) so that is a very good sign!  I know it'll be a rough adjustment for him and for us when our nanny is gone at the end of the month, but knowing he likes the dayhome is a huge help.  Saturday DH hung Christmas lights, and Saturday night DH and I got to go on a dinner date.  What a treat!  Oh, and Sunday I went to my first prenatal yoga class!  It was so great, I felt awesome afterwards.  It was more energizing than a nap!

All you American mamas, how goes the prep and countdown to Thanksgiving?

[Quinalla]

Originally Posted by nstewart 

Katie, YAY on feeling productive!  It feels so great to have the house in order, doesn't it?   I hate looking around at a disaster zone and thinking, "I really need to do something about this" but just feeling to physically exhausted to actually get up and do anything!  I've still been having a lot of that lately.  Maybe I'm just lazy???

All you American mamas, how goes the prep and countdown to Thanksgiving?

You aren't lazy, you're pregnant! It's been kind of funny now as ever since I got my energy back, my DH has been feeling rundown (I think he is sick and/or having some mild seasonal depression) and has been the one napping on the couch and hardly able to do anything. He hasn't been sleeping well either I don't think, poor guy! But yes, it is SO nice to get the house back in order, it was getting ridiculous!

We are going to my parents and the ILs for Thanksgiving, so the only prep I am doing is buying DD birthday presents today (yes her birthday is tomorrow, shhh ) and packing suitcases. DD is already all packed, just need to get DH and my stuff packed, but all the laundry is ready to go so I'll just get it done tonight no big deal. Tomorrow morning I go to my OB appointment and then we'll start the drive. We'll see how many times I have to stop to pee on the 5 hour trip, probably twice.

[adventuregirl]

Happy Birthday to Sydney tomorrow!

I forgot about the cosleeper talk, I had one for the first ~7.5 months with DD and it was nice, never felt unsafe at all, well, until she could pull up to stand (which is why we moved her at 7.5 mos). At that point, I didn't want her in there since the rails were low and she could have easily tumbled down to the hard wood floor. But while we had it, I really liked having her close, esp for night comforting and nursing, but just enough separation let us all sleep better. When we did fall asleep with her in the bed, it felt very safe to have her on the outside since the cosleeper was there to catch her if she rolled (although that never happened).

Looking forward to Thanksgiving here, going to my local friends place and happy about it. I'll be making mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie. I am working through tomorrow, although at home tomorrow. DD & DH will be off tomorrow, so I will be scrambling to get things wrapped up and be done.

Does anyone have any good ideas to help with constipation other than drinking lots of water, fiber, exercise and probiotics? I really hate not being regular and have been spending far too much time sitting and trying.

[Quinalla]

That's about all the advice I have for constipation, for me, sometimes I just have to wait when I'm pregnant, things are just all slowed down!

We didn't use a cosleeper with DD, but we did have a travel pack-n-play I put next to the bed for awhile, but I found nursing laying down very difficult, so mostly she did end up in her room in her crib, or more likely me in the rocker with her asleep on my lap. I tried cosleeping in the bed too, but no one slept well, so we didn't do that for long. We also had her sleeping in a swing and carseat a few times too. We tried most things with her as she did not like to sleep! I think cosleepers or side-caring a crib are a great compromise if you want your baby close but not in your bed. No clue what we are going to do with the twins, probably in a pack-n-play together in the bedroom at first and then crib together for awhile in the nursery.

[Kate&Joey]

Cosleepers / Alternatives:  With DS, I just put his crib next to my side of the bed.  XH was a heavy sleeper (and I was never sure how much he drank after I went to bed).  DS was born in the winter in the Northeast so we had lots of heavy bedding.  Plus, one dog and one cat were generally sleeping with me.  Basically, I was not a good candidate for true co-sleeping. 

But it worked out great.  I had a comfy chair next to his crib.  When DS fussed, I basically slept walked two steps, picked up him, and started nursing. 

The really nice result is that I didn't have to transition DS to a crib once we moved him out of our room because he was already used to it. 

I'm planning on doing the same with this babe.  We're not doing a true nursery anyway.

[CoBabyMaker]

Sheryl, I find that beans really help my bowels move. Refried beans especially but any beans work. The Zofran made me SO stopped up (seriously,LOTS of prunes were doing almost nothing.) but the beans made it manageable. Also I saw a thing called a "squatty potty" on a blog that I read. it's supposed to help support your organs in a way that helps you empty better. I didn't get one but just used a small rack to put under my feet. It sounds weird but I actually find it helps quite a bit.

Bailey, I hope you are feeling better today after all your good appointments. That sounds like such a good, nurturing sort of day! I was feeling nasty yesterday too. Hopefully it will leave both of us alone soon!

N, So wonderful that your DS loves his new caregiver!

Katie, Only twice in five hours is pretty good! I think I'd have to stop more than that and drive my poor patient DH batty. I hope you have a great trip and a lovely birthday celebration!

Thanksgiving is at my ILs so I just have to bring a wild rice stuffing and some sparkling juice for the kids. DH asked me to make cranberry sauce so I will do that too. It makes me feel special that he loves the one I make and it's super easy. MIL gave me some sausage for the stuffing but she gave me a ton! So, if I am feeling up to it, I will make some stuffed mushrooms too. My kids have dairy and soy allergies and one of my SILs is GF so I try to have a few options that are safe for them.

I finally painted DD's room today since it was nice enough to open the windows. When she was two I painted it blue even though she said she wanted pink. I thought since she was two she would just like whatever I did and change her mind anyway-WRONG! She really wanted it pink! So it's finally pink for her. With just enough paint, too. I only had about 4 tablespoons left! Hopefully DH can build the bunk beds in a few weeks and then it will be ready for DD2 to move in. DD1 was concerned about being too high on the top bunk so we are building some that have the lower mattress on the ground so the top bunk can also be lower. I think I feel more comfortable with that set up too!

[BaileyB]

I don't have any constipation advice. This pregnancy I have been more regular than I am not pregnant, plus a few times of the runs. Normally when I am pregnant and constipated I just have to suffer through it since nothing on the natural side works for me. I know how you feel, though, and it sucks.

Sounds like most of us are going somewhere for thanksgiving, so yay for no too much cooking!

DD and I were at MIL's to help make some desserts for Thanksgiving today. It was going well all day but I got my first unsolicited weight comment, I guess you could call it. Basically my MIL kept asking if "they" were sure on my dates. As in she thinks I look bigger or something. It just gets annoying because the only people I have ever gotten comments from about pregnancy weight or size and even the rate at which I lose weight and my pre-pregnancy weight as well, is from my MIL and her mother. First of all, I am measuring right on for my gestation. Secondly, I am 8" taller than both my MIL and her mom and I maybe just now weigh the same as them at 10 lbs up from my pre-pregnancy weight. Thirdly, I am one of those pregnant ladies who looks like I am smuggling a basketball under my shirt until about 8 months and then I start to get the pregnant chubby look to me. Fourthly, I just find it extra annoying that it is coming from 2 women and between the 2 of them they have had 15 pregnancies. Out of everyone in my whole life I just can't believe that it always comes from them. And I am close to both of them but they always get like this when I am pregnant. I think maybe my pregnancy hormones scramble their brains or something. IDK.

Other than that I am feeling a lot better today. haha.

[timesway]

thankyou so much to everyone who sent best wishes for my brother, hes doing better.. we still dont know whats caused the seizure and he's pretty bashed up, but hes off of oxygen and hes starting rehab soon, hes just having to get used to being a lot less able when he eventually gets out (could be in for quite a long stay) ..

I had my scan, and all is looking good, cervix lengh is good aswell i think, going to see my consultant and my old rheumy consultant in a joint clinic in 2 weeks when i have another scan, they couldnt tell the  sex, so i have to wait!!

havent really done much lately as i've been feeling completely knackered and worried about my brother.. but my friend met me on the way home from seeing my brother in hosp, and came and stayed with me, it meant i actually slept lots (always sleep better in a bed with someone else) and it was nice to have some chats and hugs, however he is still trying with me.. and i've made it very clear i dont want anything there.. so fingers crossed this time hes got the message, i thought he wouldnt be like this this time.. we've been friends for a long time, and thats all i want from him.

I text my ex the pictures of the scan, but he didnt reply so im guessing hes in a doesnt wanna know moment.. ah the joys.. i am sad that i dont have what you all have.. a supportive partner would be wonderful.. but i want someone who is going to be stable i guess.. time will tell if that is possible when you are a steph!

Happy thanksgiving (i think.. lol im a lowly english girl ;) have no idea when thanksgiving is but i read it on fb earlier) all of you lovely ones from across the pond xx
 

[timesway]

constipation advice-more water.. more SOLUBLE fibre, but dont go too high on the insoluble (eg. lots of fruit and veg,prunes moderate amounts of nuts and normal amounts of starchy foods)  also i find plums and liquorice quite good.. also fruit juices, and my ob has just told me that most laxitives are ok, but to stay away from stimulant types later on in labour.. i wonder if milk of magnesia is any good in preg as its quite good when not preg?

[nstewart]

Thanks for all the thoughts on the co-sleeper!  With DS, we had a bassinette that he fit in for the first 2 or 3 months, but usually he just ended up in our bed because I'd fall asleep nursing him.  After he outgrew the bassinette he slept in our bed until he was 10 months old, when he got too wiggly.  With the cosleeper I'm hoping for more sleep for all, and maybe just not worrying about blankets, etc.  We don't have room in our bedroom to sidecar a crib, and a bassinette would have been an option again if I couldn't get a cosleeper.  But, good news, my in-laws are going to bring a co-sleeper from the states for us!  So, problem solved.  Hopefully it works out.  If not, I can sell it used here for what I paid for it new from the US.

Katie, happy birthday to your DD!  Oh, and I would have to stop for a pee break at least twice!

Sheryl, I don't have a ton of advice.  What seems to have helped me: black beans, black licorice, molasses bran muffins...and I do drink a ton of water and work out regularly.  Things are better for me in that department lately.

Co - wow!  Painting!  Ambitious!  I'm sure DD was so excited to have her pink room.  

Bailey - Oye.  That is not cool by your MIL at all!  Seems like pregnancy is an invitation for unsolcited comments by strangers and, worse, by family!  I hope you can just  and rise above.

Steph, glad to hear your bro is doing better, and that your scans went well.

AFM - DH is now totally on-board with the playroom!  We've decided to get rid of a couple arm chairs from our spare room and move our desk into that room.  The desk is rarely used but handy for when DH gets work on the side as happens once in a while, and the spare room also isn't used very often.  So it's fine for them to be together and that room is huge, like 16'x16'.  So, I am excited about that project.  Now to muster the energy to work on it!  

And mamas, all that baking and cooking sounds so yummy!  Enjoy all the great celebrations and yummy food!

[adventuregirl]

Thanks for the constipation advice, all! I'm hoping to make some small changes and get things moving a bit better!

Bailey, don't ya hate that? I've noticed that older generations are a bit more commenty on weight stuff, my grandmother always asks my mom how much she weighs. My mom loathes this and has sworn not to pass this on to, well, me, as I'm the only girl. All of her body issues came from those little comments. Totally not associated with pregnancy, but I just get the feeling that culturally, things were a lot different 50 years ago in terms of talking about weight - and we wonder why women's body issues are so bad now. I also realize from talking to people in our parents generation that pg weight reccs were VERY different 30-40 years ago, to an unhealthy point, so people who haven't had the opportunity to be exposed to the newer reccs (and science!) since then (or maybe just don't believe them) have it stuck in their head that its bad to gain more than 15 pounds.

N, awesome you are getting a cosleeper! I used mine as a pack & play once dd was out of sleeping in it regularly. You can also use it as a changing table.

times - glad your brother is doing better, hope the recovery goes well.

Looking forward to a 4 day weekend, just a few more hours of work! I can hear DD playing outside with the neighbor kids and DH hanging the Christmas lights, so I am motivated to get my work done! Hope you US mamas have a great Thanksgiving! Everyone else, have a great rest of your week!

[timesway]

ooo-adventure girl.. i almost forgot.. linseed is really good!!

Bailey-that sounds like a complete nightmare, my dad said he could feel i had a baby inside me which worried me a bit, and my sisters said i looked "healthier" ha.. i hate that word when it comes to weight it really doesnt imply amazing things in my mind.. altho wen i told dad i should've put on about 5 lb he was like. noooo u havent put on that much.. but with my boobs at my chin and a lil bit of water retention from my constipation getting bad, i feel a lot worse then that tbh :P ha.. ignreo them though.. they are bitchy old women.. i dunno why.. but they seem to find joy in making thinner younger women feel fat!!
And thankyou nsteward/adventuregirl :) he is certainlya strong thing.. he will be bouncing again before we know it!!

Cobaby-what were you going to paint it? ha.. 2 year olds can be sooo obstinant once they make up there mind.. thats so funny..is she happy with the pink now?

So i told a load more people including my extended family about my pregnancy, and some of the friends i see less often by making a secret preg group that i can post pics of scans in and tell people about whats goin on with me, means i dont have to deal with ex bf conflict for a little longer and i can tell the people i need to tell personally before i shout it out to the unniverse.. im actually growing to quite like it being a big secret, now i havent been able to dothe big reveal i sortve wanted to at 12 weeks.. i feel enough people know now that i feel supported and can talk about it fairly openly but not so many that the whole worlds talking about it.. although i have a feeling that a few comments between people on fb were about me.. (someone saying.. i told you on someones wall, and someone else writing a bit of a bitchy status which may or may not have been directed at me.. some of those people are just like that though, but they were gonna find out sooner or later.. so nice to get it out of the way!

Ah i thinki  got it wrong.. is thanksgiving tommorrow? happy thanksgiving, hope your all having a lovely weekend..

[BaileyB]

Thanks for the love ladies. I am feeling better about it today. I have a shirt from my first pregnancy that says, "Look, I am pregnant and I really don't need your bullcrap right now, okay?" I am tempted to wear it tomorrow but then I would feel petty. Why not just dress up nice to feel better, right?

This morning I was visited by the morning sickness fairy (that bitch!) The rest of the day was great though. DD is really into her nail polish so we painted her fingers and toes to match her dress for tomorrow and the weather was amazing! 70* and sunny, I even had the windows open! DH is out of state for work and will be home in a few hours so I am trying to quick vacuum and clean up so it doesn't look like I slacked off while he was gone, lol.

Hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving tomorrow!

[BaileyB]

Oh and yea, I think pregnancy was a lot different back then. My MIL's mom was of the generation that breastfeeding was yucky and bad for you and the baby. No baby could possibly thrive on breast milk only! You better start that 6 week old baby on some cereal right away! I know a lot of women smoked to try to keep weight off while pregnant, too. Although, a relative of mine smoked when she was pregnant with her first and still gained 65 lbs. When she delivered over due and the doctor said the baby weighed 4.5 lbs she told him he better check for another baby in there because she counting on at least a 20 lb baby, haha . Served her right.

[nstewart]

Yes, I was reading in one of Ina May's books that you weren't to gain more than 15lbs during a pregnancy when she had her first (late 60s early 70s) and that doctors would really give you crap if you did and even prescribe hard core diuretics, which was actually dangerous for mom and babe.

We have our own set of challenges these days, but at least unrealistic expectation (well, except from annoying strangers and family members!) isn't one of them.  My MW doesn't even require you to keep track of weight gain.  I am, just for myself, but she doesn't seem to be too concerned about that type of thing.

And, can I just say that I actually felt so womanly and beautiful when I was pregnant with DS? (at least until the real swelling kicked in).  I loved having that "fertility godess" look with full breasts and a belly and hips and felt more like a woman than any other time in my life.  Anyone who wants to interfere with that feeling with comments about weight can go jump off a bridge!

[TwilightJoy]

Hi ladies!

Hope you all had great thanksgivings! We are back home from Thanksgiving #1 and all of our guests have left from Thanksgiving #2. Both were great with our lovely families, but it is also nice to have the house to ourselves and return to normalcy.

In baby news, I've started contacting doulas!!! I am so excited!!! I emailed about 10 of them and 5 emailed me back. Going to set up interviews for DH and I over the next few weeks so we can find the one that fits best with us. Yay!