Hi, all! I know I haven't been around much lately, but been thinking of you! I am 26 weeks on Friday.
Just had another MWs appointment (HB MWs)-- our middle-of-pregnancy appointments are with all of the women due in the same month (March, obvs) and we discuss things in a group. (Our other appointments are at our own homes-- but both my MWs live within 10 minutes of me, so no biggie.) It's really nice to interact with the group (about 7 couples)-- almost all the husbands/partners come too.
Sometimes I feel like I'd be bragging if I talked much about myself... and other times I doubt my own experience, like maybe I'm delusional, because, well...
-This pregnancy is going really smoothly, FTMP. Yeah, I have a couple minor aches and pains (a hamstring tendon injury from running is acting up a little bit, probably b/c of the increased relaxin). And okay, I am getting to the point that I have to pee pretty frequently. But basically, it's been a pretty easy time. I am just grateful every day to G-d that I have had another relatively easy day, so that if it becomes really hard at week 28 or week 32 or whatever, at least I have had all this time to really enjoy my pregnancy, which I know makes me super-lucky.
-My MWs are awesome and I LOVE going to appointments (as does DH). I'm sure some of y'all feel the same, but I don't think it's typical for pregnant women to be like, "Can't wait until my next doctor's appointment!" I mean, maybe-- especially to hear the baby's heartbeat or whatever. But just overall, in general, to find the appointments to be among the most fun possible activities you could participate in. I love every second of my MWs appointments and wish I could have more, LOL!
-DH is so grounded and we talk so much about everything and feel (relatively) prepared (and we both have ADHD, so that's a big accomplishment!)... it's almost uncomfortable to discuss it, so we just keep quiet while other fathers talk about (perfectly natural) anxiety, loss of identity, etc., or other moms talk about how to involve their husbands more... Like even now, I feel like I'm bragging, but then I remind myself that we've put 17 years of HARD work into this relationship and have gone through a lot of *expletive* to get where we are... Not that others haven't, but just saying... Not to mention, I know DH is and always has been more naturally "maternal" than most men. And I know that quality is not even appealing to everyone, but... I know I'm lucky-- he's perfect for ME, anyway.
Of course, OTOH, sometimes I wonder if it's just hormones making me feel this way about DH... But, nah-- or at least that's only a small part of it. Because I can see with my own eyes that he's pretty awesome, and even much more... IDK, "connected," I guess... than a lot of even the fathers in our birthing yoga workshop for couples or whatever, which you'd think would be pretty self-selecting... But, for example, in the men's changing room afterward, DH heard other dads-to-be going, "Wow, I never really thought about how long labor is, and how much she has to do and what goes on and stuff." DH was nonplussed, like, duh, and I had to tell him, "See, this is what I mean-- we don't even think about it, but a lot of guys, even 'crunchy' guys, aren't near as involved in all this as you are." So maybe now he knows why I am always telling him how great he is-- it's not just hormones!!!
-Also, I have a significant, long-term history of mood disorders (anxiety, depression AND a touch of OCD), not to mention major body image issues-- I am in recovery for an eating disorder-- and yet... if anything-- and to my complete shock!-- pregnancy has evened all that out. Seriously, my mood is MORE stable than it's ever been. Fingers crossed that continues PP!
...so it's like, yeah, things are going really awesome! Which does make the neurotic Jewish side of me feel like everything is destined to come crashing down, LOL... I feel guilty, even!
But maybe I... deserve some happiness? What an idea.