Ok, this is very private, but I feel a need to express this...perhaps others are in the same boat. My husband and I began sleeping separately on a regular basis soon after my son was born. Actually, it started happening when I moved in with him, before we were married. I was really weird about noise. I had earplugs, but I could still hear him, and feel him moving around, so I guess out of courtesy, he would sometimes go to the other room to watch TV and fall asleep there. Over the years, I got used to this...so if he didn't leave, I would. Now, on week nights, I just say goodnight and go upstairs. When the kids were younger, it was an excuse to be near them...but they are 6 and 9 now. We have been married 13 years now and don't fight that often. Yes, we have issues at times, but overall, things are OK.
When my son was an infant, we lived in a house that had poor insulation and was very cold, so we co-slept with him, but it scared me sometimes. We had lots of comforters and blankets due to the cold and he would sometimes get lost in them, so we didn't co-sleep every single night...just for a while. When my daughter was born 4 yrs later, she was preemie, so not as much co-sleeping...plus we were in a more insulated home. As they got older, they would get to sleep in our bed as a treat sometimes on a Fri or Sat night...watch movies with Daddy. Mostly my son, sometimes my daughter. Now that my son is almost 10, it doesn't really happen any more. Now they usually go to their rooms when the movie is over, so that my husband and I can be alone, or not. He is a lot more open to them staying up and watching movies with him, and co-sleeping with him back in the day...but I didn't like co-sleeping with them as much. I usually only did it if they had a nightmare or were sick. I always wanted them to be well rested...comfortable...and not have a dog or an alarm waking them up at 6AM, etc. My husband was more laid back about that stuff...I guess because he doesn't have to deal with them when they get sick and cranky from not being well rested...he spoils them more. I am the stricter one, for sure!
I usually only fall asleep in our room on weekends now...and when I wake up, my husband is usually gone to another room...either that, or I will take off to another room due to being uncomfortable. I think I just got used to sleeping alone, and so did he. Plus we have two dogs that sleep with us...and they hog the whole bed. It makes it a lot more comfortable if one of us leaves and takes a dog with us. Weird, I know. But from what I have heard, people who clean homes say that they always find extra beds that look like they are being slept in. It's like an untold secret or something. We are still married and relatively happy...so it works for us. I just wonder if it has an effect on our kids...like if they wonder why we don't sleep in the same bad, KWIM? My husband told his mom (or maybe one of my kids mentioned it to her) and she thought that it was weird, especially for the kids...what must they think??