I came home from work last night to my oldest's FB status where they came out as gender/queer and trans. Okay. They'd come out on the g/q part to me a couple of years ago, and it hasn't changed how I feel or love my child. I do realize that this could be a tough row to hoe, but I'm supportive.
Where I do have a problem is with the strident way in which they is (are?) insisting that they will not accept any male-identifying vocabulary directed in their direction (yes, A was quite specific on no he/him - it must be they/them). I did - gently - comment that there needs to be some understanding that this calls for a period of adjustment for some people. Using the wrong pronoun does not always mean disrespect. In some cases, it will simply take a little time. My parents have always been supportive, but being realistic - they are in their 80s. Even with the best of intentions, they are likely to slip and call him by his given name or use grandson. Am I wrong to ask that there be a bit of understanding wrt their age and mental slips?
Even for myself, it's not a switch I can simply flip and never make a mistake. I have no doubt that there will be a time when I mistakenly say my son, or he, or him... After 21 years - it's an adjustment.
Any input - on any part of this situation - would be appreciated. Thx.