If you regret being circumcised post here - Page 2

[bugmenot]

This thread is all kinds of horrifying and sad. It's like watching someone get raped and realizing you can't do anything about it...ok, not really, but it's painful to be able to read this.

But, at the same time, it's great. It's great to know that people who were circumcised without their consent are doing something about it. Some are restoring. Even if a circumcised-but-regrets-it man will never have kids, or just had daughters and no sons, the ball is still rolling in the right direction.

It's the beginning of an avalanche. It's small right now, but it's growing larger by the day.

This thread is proof that the lies thought up by the doctors "he won't remember it" or "it's painless" or whatever they're saying is just that. LIes.

Keep fighting the good fight, everyone. Even if you're done having kids, you just had daughters, or even if your sons are circumcised and you realized you didn't know better at the time, you're still very much in the fight.

[Blueberry159]

I am the wife of a circumcised man and it has impacting me negatively. After years of marriage we are realizing that his lack of foreskin is causing me pain during sex. I always thought the chaffed, burning and raw pain that I feel for several days after sex was my fault. I tried everything to make sex more comfortable, but nothing significantly helped. Now, we are realizing that circumcision is the cause. I am so angry over what circumcision has taken from our marriage! I am so upset that my husband and I cannot enjoy each other the way we are meant to! His parents made this decision for him, but I do not feel it should have been their choice. Now my husband and I have to live with the consequences of that decision for the rest of our married life.   Male circumcision impacts women, too.
 

[DJay]

Foreskin restoration is an option that many men in this situation have found helpful. It takes some time, but if the problem is that bad, you can do something about it.  I was cut very tightly as a baby. Today my doctor thinks I'm intact.  Wife really likes the difference from when we first married. Good for both of us.
 

[Blueberry159]

That's wonderful news!  My husband began restoration recently.  I hope we see the benefits soon.

[Islay]

I can best respond to this thread by offering a link to an article on the The Whole Network which I was asked to submit after responding to another contributor's story.

Voicelessone, I understand your sense of loss for the foreskin you were born with.

http://www.thewholenetwork.org/14/post/2011/02/a-childs-cry.html

Christopher

[hakunangovi]

I have just come back to this thread, and read all of it.  I can see the common thread of shame, violation, anger and regret in the posts from the men.  It makes me sad to realise that there are millions and millions of us in that same stinking boat, most of whom are silent in their own world of torment.  I see the sadness in the posts from women who have figured out why their sex life is unfulfilling, and who show great empathy toward circumcised men.  Thank you.  I am most grateful for forums such as this, where we can participate with others of a like mind. It feels a bit like an extended family!

One thing that I did not mention in my original post is how I feel toward my parents:  I have never hated them for what they did to me. I realise that they thought they were doing the best thing for me and my brothers.  They were the unwitting victims of bad information. They had no access to an internet, or even libraries.  They had no option than to believe what they were told.  I will say that I wish they had thought about circumcision more objectively.  Did they not consider that nature does not make mistakes?  Did they not consider that cutting off a part of a baby's genitalia is bizarre?  After all, there were plenty of intact boys in our society.

[Dave Saving]

I'm a man that was circumcised as a baby and I really wish I wasn't. I was denied my choice to keep a functional, healthy, erotogenic body part. 

ALL forms of female genital cutting - equal to or less invasive then male circumcision - are illegal for any reason, including religion. Yet, a parent can remove a baby boy's foreskin for any reason including, "just because" and "I think it looks better". This doesn't make sense. This isn't equal rights under the law but a violation of the 14th Amendment's "Equal Protection Clause", the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights", adopted by the United Nations and the "Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms".

[Unhappyvictim]

The legislative branch of the U.S. government outlawed female cirumcision in 1997. But there is a reason you can not look to the U.S. government to similarly outlaw the circumcision of baby boys. It's because circumcising baby boys is official U.S. government policy: your executive branch at work for you (against you, actually).  Beginning around 1950, the U.S. Public Health Service began two big public health crusades aimed at children:  circumcision of baby boys, and water fluoridation. As recently as 2009, the CDC, another part of the U.S. government's public health bureaucracy, tried to put the "Universal Circumcision" of baby boys into effect, but was forced to backtrack: under this plan, all boys born in the U.S. and its posessions would have been required to be circumcised, whether the parents requested it or not. Meanwhile, stimulus funds were used to promote circumcision in Africa.  The National Institutes of Health and other public health agencies, alarmed by falling U.S. circumcision rates, have been trying desperately to manufacture new justifications for circumcising newborn baby boys. They have been bankrolling "studies" by pro-circumcision researchers in Africa to demonstrate that circumcision prevents AIDS. Why Africa?  Because of the 600,000+ men who died of AIDS in the U.S., nearly all of them had been circumcised.  What makes Mothering so special? Because instead of rubber-stamping the press releases of self-serving government agencies and professional trade associations like the AAP, Mothering presents the common sense side of the issue, and trusts you to draw your own conclusions.                                                                       

[nocirc75]

I have been trying to put together my thoughts and feelings for days about this issue.  Like many men I was circumcised as an infant and as an adult I'm none too happy about my parents decision.  I've thought about asking them why they made such a decision, but I realize it would do no good, won't bring back my foreskin and likely make for an uncomfortable discussion with both of my parents.  I feel robbed of a fully functioning penis as nature designed, not as society wished it to be.

What am I doing at this point to help myself and others you may wonder?  For myself, I'm restoring my foreskin- it's a long process and quite irritating that I have to go through this due to the momentary slice of the doctors knife 37 years ago.  I'm trying to get involved and speak to others about the importance of being intact, but I'm meeting a lot of resistance within my group of friends. No one cares to listen and people are defensive and shut down.  I don't believe my approach to be offensive or argumentative, so it seems that the conservative social constructs of the USA's feelings on sex are a huge impediment to any meaningful discussion.  

I'm happy to say that I spoke with a close friend of mine who was expecting a boy and while it was a bit awkward broaching the subject of what him and his girlfriend were going to do regarding circumcision it was a quick and easy discussion because they had already educated themselves on the subject!

I hope that we as a society, as a culture, can move past this terrible practice of Routine Infant Circumcision (RIC) and leave future baby boys intact as nature intended.  If I ever have a son I will ensure that he is left intact and not allow such a violent act of circumcision be visited upon him.

[intactivist2]

Here is my rant that (rightly or wrongly) I have been posting to every mothering forum I can sign up to for free...

You can skip it if you want, it's more of the same (mum thought she was doing the right thing based on doctors information) with a ton of links.

Most importantly: Thank you for existing (forum) and opening this discussion. Too many of the mothering forums I've been on in the last hour have had a complete lack of discussion, or discussion of the misinformation. Genital mutilation is evil, we can make it stop (and everyone benefits, except the bastards that profit from it)

Dear forum members.

Before I risk putting any of you off, PLEASE DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH BEFORE SUBJECTING YOUR CHILD TO GENITAL MUTILATION.

Now:

I wish to raise an issue that many of you, as mothers and parental guardians, may have to make a decision on. (Though it shouldn’t be a decision, just like not cutting out an eye or removing a toe shouldn’t be a decision).

Forced genital mutilation, sometimes known as circumcision, is a practice that continues to this day in the USA for a variety of reasons including; misinformation, misguidedness, profit, anti-masturbation hysteria.

I, personally, suffered this procedure at around the age of 10 as a ‘treatment’ for issues of bed wetting and possible phimosis. Absolute mal-practice. Bed wetting, and related issues, are common in 5% of the population at that age and decline naturally as the individual matures. Phimosis can easily be treated by stretching. Also, Phimosis is NEVER an issue in immature children, it can only exist in males that have begun puberty.

1. Mutilating your child’s genitals provides NO health benefits.
2. It is extremely damaging psychologically and physically.
3. You wouldn’t mutilate your daughter…
4. It drastically reduces sensitivity
5. It continues as a practice for reasons of greed.
6. At the very least, let your child CHOOSE to get it when he is a consenting adult – if he wants to (which he won’t assuming he has learnt how to use Google)

1. In order to prove 1 requires a very mild understanding of logic. USA = high circumcision and high rates of STIs, Europe = low circumcision and low rates of STIs. That should be fairly simple to understand.

Studies that say otherwise are easily debunked, for example: A study shows less UTI’s in circumcised males. This study is comparing full circumcision to babies whose mothers retract their foreskin. DO NOT RETRACT YOUR BABIES’ FORESKIN. The foreskin is designed to protect the glans (head) of the penis. Your child will retract it when he’s ready (around puberty). Another study shows lower rates of STI’s amongst circumcised populations. This is comparing Islamic states (high religious societal control) with non-Islamic states… go figure.

2. There are a great deal of studies that show how trauma as a baby can impact on your subconscious throughout your entire life.

3. Male and female genital mutilation are equivalent in damage. Why then would you do that to your son? (youtube) /watch?v=98f3IavuEgQ

4. It removes 85% of the nerve endings (they are in the foreskin). It dries out what remains, and numbs it – when you remove the foreskin, the glans must toughen via ‘keretinisation’ in order to withstand clothing. This loss of sensitivity has a direct impact on the mutilated individuals relationships.

5.  thewellspring (dot) [com]/flex/myth-circumcision-is-neither-harmful-nor-painful/2617/circumcision-who-profits.cfm & norm-uk (dot) [org]/where_do_foreskins_go.html

…

If you have already circumcised your child, I understand that it could be difficult to face this information. Please do not close up about it, instead – spread the word, and when your child comes of age explain that you did what the doctor advised. Don’t let it ruin your relationship with your child, they WILL have the internet and they WILL know how to use it to find out the truth, better they hear it from you than that they discover it by other means and blame you for it.

Sources:

http://circumcisionnews.blogspot.co.uk/2011/09/debunking-another-myths-article.html (In depth debunking of myths)

http://circumcisionnews.blogspot.co.uk/2010/05/fatally-flawed-bollingers-circumcision.html (More in depth debunking of myths)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ceht-3xu84I&feature=channel_video_title (PhD presentation on genital mutilation)

http://www.notjustskin.org/node/7 (FAQ on genital mutilation)

http://momsnotbombs.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/difference-between-intact-cut.html (NSFW, explicit images documenting the difference)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98f3IavuEgQ (The similarity between male and female mutilation)

https://www.youtube.com/user/canadiangirlstalk (2 Canadian girls that are actively against forced genital mutilation)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5kaEEckXmU (Dutch documentary “Mum, why did you circumcise me?”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAHGFx95D80 (Mutilated at 18, speaks candidly about his loss)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqIGGq175ps&playnext=1&list=PL5CB70719DE8480F6&feature=results_main (An entire playlist of women talking out against mutilation, starting with ‘A mother’s regret’)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7FOGCsNgRM&playnext=1&list=PL3AAD8FA7F462D698&feature=results_main (An entire playlist of men talking out against mutilation)

https://www.youtube.com/user/Bonobo3D?feature=watch (A youtube channel with a good set of videos)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8izJ6odbCo&feature=youtu.be (This guy is awesome)

Other resources:

http://www.notjustskin.org/

http://www.foreskin-restoration.net/forum

http://www.nocirc.org/

http://norm.org/

http://www.foregen.org/

http://www.tlctugger.com/

http://www.circumstitions.com/

http://circumcisionnews.blogspot.co.uk/

http://www.genitalautonomy.org/about-ga/

Sources: (sans linkage)
circumcisionnews blogspot co uk/2011/09/debunking-another-myths-article.html (In depth debunking of myths)
circumcisionnews blogspot co uk/2010/05/fatally-flawed-bollingers-circumcision html (More in depth debunking of myths)
youtube /watch?v=Ceht-3xu84I&feature=channel_video_title (PhD presentation on genital mutilation)
notjustskin org/node/7 (FAQ on genital mutilation)
momsnotbombs blogspot co uk/2012/03/difference-between-intact-cut.html (NSFW, explicit images documenting the difference)
youtube /watch?v=98f3IavuEgQ (The similarity between male and female mutilation)
youtube /user/canadiangirlstalk (2 Canadian girls that are actively against forced genital mutilation)
youtube /watch?v=U5kaEEckXmU (Dutch documentary “Mum, why did you circumcise me?”
youtube /watch?v=NAHGFx95D80 (Mutilated at 18, speaks candidly about his loss)
youtube /watch?v=DqIGGq175ps&playnext=1&list=PL5CB70719DE8480F6&feature=results_main (An entire playlist of women talking out against mutilation, starting with ‘A mother’s regret’)
youtube /watch?v=Y7FOGCsNgRM&playnext=1&list=PL3AAD8FA7F462D698&feature=results_main (An entire playlist of men talking out against mutilation)
youtube /user/Bonobo3D?feature=watch (A youtube channel with a good set of videos)
youtube /watch?v=z8izJ6odbCo&feature=youtu.be (This guy is awesome)
Other resources:
notjustskin org/
foreskin-restoration net/forum
nocirc org/
norm org/
foregen org/
tlctugger com/
circumstitions com/
circumcisionnews blogspot co uk/
genitalautonomy org/about-ga/

[biomedical]

Originally Posted by bugmenot 

This thread is all kinds of horrifying and sad. It's like watching someone get raped and realizing you can't do anything about it...ok, not really, but it's painful to be able to read this.

But, at the same time, it's great. It's great to know that people who were circumcised without their consent are doing something about it. Some are restoring. Even if a circumcised-but-regrets-it man will never have kids, or just had daughters and no sons, the ball is still rolling in the right direction.

It's the beginning of an avalanche. It's small right now, but it's growing larger by the day.

This thread is proof that the lies thought up by the doctors "he won't remember it" or "it's painless" or whatever they're saying is just that. LIes.

Keep fighting the good fight, everyone. Even if you're done having kids, you just had daughters, or even if your sons are circumcised and you realized you didn't know better at the time, you're still very much in the fight.

It is almost impossible to talk about it.  When anything horrific occurs to a baby they will grow up to accept whatever it is because they have no choice.  Every man who regrets his neonatal circumcision has had to have the motivation to question something that has been and always will be an intimate part of his world for his entire existence.   Hardly anybody experiences such motivation.  In the unfortunate event that observation leads one toward understanding the nature of what has happened the aversion against looking closer is as instinctive as looking away from the sun or recoiling from a hot flame.  For me this means I can never forgive myself for having the intellectual honesty to push myself to try to fully comprehend what circumcision really was.  It would have been the easiest thing in the world to remain ignorant and I was stupid enough to willfully ignore the instincts that would have kept me safe for the sake of something as empty as intellectual honesty and "truth".

For the rest of my life I will remain aware that I am being permanently gang raped by a trophy taking ethically diseased "medical" community gone horribly horribly wrong.  The fact that the rapists truly believed it was somehow for my own good fails to comfort me.  The fact that apparently most of their other victims successfully avoid personally confronting their loss and violation fails to comfort me.  the fact that the rapists continue to rape and continue to be allowed to openly rape and that they ridicule and belittle their victims who speak up is so far beyond unacceptable that it makes me physically ill over and over.

If we as a society were to blind, deafen, torture or otherwise maim and harm our newborns in large enough numbers it is obvious that we would by and large come to one day accept and defend it and that fact destroys all my faith in humanity.

Obviously I've lost a possibly enormous dimension of the physiological foundation of my sex life certainly but what really eats away at me and my life is the discovery of just how trivial it is to hide 100 million plus rapes in plain sight in my own culture.

Few men will post here.  Few men are reckless enough to confront something about which they instinctively know they can do nothing about and which undermines the value of what they often perceive as the most valuable dimension of their lives.

Its not really denial.  it's lack of exploration of a horrible bottomless dark place that holds no rewards and only pain and which taints and undermines the morality of their entire community at its simplest most basic and human levels and which puts their appreciation of the simplest of human pleasures to shame.

[biomedical]

Originally Posted by bugmenot 

This thread is all kinds of horrifying and sad. It's like watching someone get raped and realizing you can't do anything about it...ok, not really, but it's painful to be able to read this.

But, at the same time, it's great. It's great to know that people who were circumcised without their consent are doing something about it. Some are restoring. Even if a circumcised-but-regrets-it man will never have kids, or just had daughters and no sons, the ball is still rolling in the right direction.

It's the beginning of an avalanche. It's small right now, but it's growing larger by the day.

This thread is proof that the lies thought up by the doctors "he won't remember it" or "it's painless" or whatever they're saying is just that. LIes.

Keep fighting the good fight, everyone. Even if you're done having kids, you just had daughters, or even if your sons are circumcised and you realized you didn't know better at the time, you're still very much in the fight.

It is almost impossible to talk about it.  When anything horrific occurs to a baby they will grow up to accept whatever it is because they have no choice.  Every man who regrets his neonatal circumcision has had to have the motivation to question something that has been and always will be an intimate part of his world for his entire existence.   Hardly anybody experiences such motivation.  In the unfortunate event that observation leads one toward understanding the nature of what has happened the aversion against looking closer is as instinctive as looking away from the sun or recoiling from a hot flame.  For me this means I can never forgive myself for having the intellectual honesty to push myself to try to fully comprehend what circumcision really was.  It would have been the easiest thing in the world to remain ignorant and I was stupid enough to willfully ignore the instincts that would have kept me safe for the sake of something as empty as intellectual honesty and "truth".

For the rest of my life I will remain aware that I am being permanently gang raped by a trophy taking ethically diseased "medical" community gone horribly horribly wrong.  The fact that the rapists truly believed it was somehow for my own good fails to comfort me.  The fact that apparently most of their other victims successfully avoid personally confronting their loss and violation fails to comfort me.  the fact that the rapists continue to rape and continue to be allowed to openly rape and that they ridicule and belittle their victims who speak up is so far beyond unacceptable that it makes me physically ill over and over.

If we as a society were to blind, deafen, torture or otherwise maim and harm our newborns in large enough numbers it is obvious that we would by and large come to one day accept and defend it and that fact destroys all my faith in humanity.

Obviously I've lost a possibly enormous dimension of the physiological foundation of my sex life certainly but what really eats away at me and my life is the discovery of just how trivial it is to hide 100 million plus rapes in plain sight in my own culture.

Few men will post here.  Few men are reckless enough to confront something about which they instinctively know they can do nothing about and which undermines the value of what they often perceive as the most valuable dimension of their lives.

Its not really denial.  it's lack of exploration of a horrible bottomless dark place that holds no rewards and only pain and which taints and undermines the morality of their entire community at its simplest most basic and human levels and which puts their appreciation of the simplest of human pleasures to shame.

[BB004]

Stumbled on this thread through google. Hope this isn't TMI or anything...

The scar tissue has been a hindrance for me, almost like they cut too much off. There have been times where it just sorta tears open, and I start bleeding a little.

In addition, I have another scar just below the head... I believe this has to do with not having enough skin, and causing an actual 'tear'.

Occasionally, I also feel sort of a phantom sensation, where the upper part of my penis seems ice cold. I can touch it, and 'feel' that it's warm / the same temperature as everything else, but I still have this icy sensation.

After having these problems, I had asked my mother why she had this done. Her response was 'because you have to clean it' :/

[Islay]

And norm-uk.org

Britain, where infant boys are very rarely circumcised, but older males - pre-pubescent and adult - are far too often circumcised for spurious penis health issues.

Christopher

[Islay]

BB004 - nothing is TMI when discussing circumcision and all its consequences. We can't approach the subject properly without the freedom to be explicit.

I think it's possible that you had too much removed, judging by your comments. Every baby boy's natural penis grows in tandem with his body as the years go by, including his foreskin of course. You should have been left with enough foreskin for your penis to 'grow into' as you grew older, leaving your glans permanently exposed as an adult but without the problems you have now. I was sadly but necessarily circumcised as an adult, with none of the problems you are suffering - except for the matter of sensation which you mentioned.

When you say the upper part of your penis, I'm assuming you mean your exposed glans (head). You explain: "Occasionally, I also feel sort of a phantom sensation, where the upper part of my penis seems ice cold. I can touch it, and 'feel' that it's warm / the same temperature as everything else, but I still have this icy sensation."

I'm not sure I understand the "icy" sensation you speak of, but I do understand the "same temperature as everything else." I use a tap (faucet in American English) to wash residue urine from my penis after urinating when I can. (Not an option when using public urinals, of course.) But when I can, I have discovered a shocking fact... icy cold or very hot water on my de-sensitised glans gives me no sensation at all, and I mean nothing other than a sense of pressure as the water falls. But I recoil in an instinctive reaction to cold or heat if the water splashes on shaft skin. Is this what you mean? Or are your finger tips much colder than the head of your penis when you touch, perhaps?

Christopher