Awesome Only Kid ONLY Activities « Back to Group Discussions

[pickle18]

Ok, so between fertility returning (crazy hormones) and the whole societal sibling guilt trip laying on thick, I need a reminder of the benefits of having an only.  I'm swimming in the "but he'll have a built in playmate!" stuff (even though I know he might hate said playmate, and there is something to be said for being able to say goodbye to playmates when you're done playing!).  I figured some of you might need a dose of positivity, too. 

So...what cool things can you do with your only, that you couldn't if they had a sibling?  This could be for financial reasons or logistics, how much of your time/attention is required, etc.  Anything really.

For me, we've been able to take DS with us on a bunch of DH's business trips, ever since he was 2 months old.  Plus, we've done some great family road trips, where we got to expose him to ancient forests, cool aquariums, old rice marsh plantations with petting zoos, etc.  I think having another kid would throw a big monkey wrench in our travel plans.  It would add to the cost and the pain-in-the-neck packing, certainly.  But it would likely just be much easier to just stay home with "the kids" than try to wrangle TWO munchkins largely on my own, away from home (we usually have a fair bit of interaction with DH's colleagues, too, so it's easier to keep one kid from acting like a maniac, screaming and all that kid stuff ).

Thoughts?

[pickle18]

Anybody??  

[DaisyO]

children's museum--very expensive per child!

quick improvised trips around town would be impossible...already have a hard time getting out of the house.

trip to book or toy shop for a treat...that would get twice as expensive, so thus would be done away with.

co-sleeping (for us, three wouldn't fit--child sleeps diagonally).

logistically hard things like swim lessons would start to be a super drag.

making something special--you'd have to make 2, and they'd have to be equally perfect.

I would think of more but am too zonked.  I honestly can imagine doing all of this stuff w/ more than one, it just seems really hard/expensive/not worth it.

D

ps. thanks for your awesome reply to my blog gripe

[pickle18]

No problem!   Thanks for showing this thread a lil love - I was beginning to think it was a goner!

I think that's alot of what I get out of the group.  Reassurance that we ARE real moms, that those of us who chose to have an only have legitimate reasons, that regardless of whether we chose this, it has some advantages/our kids will be ok, etc.

I totally agree with your list - the little sporadic treats would be gone, we'd have an even HARDER time getting out the door (we already miss activities due to toddler tantrums), and co-sleeping would definitely require more space (although, truthfully, we need that now!)

I think it would be much harder to take "the kids" with us to places around town that aren't necessarily kid-friendly (houses of childless friends, some restaurants, etc.) but easier to leave them with a babysitter, maybe (though more costly!).  Museums, movies, park admission, etc. would be rough.

As they get older, sports practices and the like (drama, dance, music, art) would be both more costly and logistically ridiculous.

I know alot of families make it work for them - I just don't think it would work for us.  We need some flexibility, lower budget, more family time, etc.

[Snapdragon]

we are real moms! I have an only and my entire ife changed 100% when I had him- I moved to a better kid friendy town, stopped doing what I used to do with my day to take care of him- he is 2.5- etceera- everything has changed. I am a real mom!

sometimes I want another baby but then I imagine the extra work-- omg- I am just not sure I have enough energy to do it with two-!

anyway- I think people give everyone who has a different situation than them crap to some degree- perhaps only kid moms feel superior to moms of many, and perhaps those moms of many feel superior to only id moms- but it comes down to what is best for each person's own family.

I like that I know I can send my only to private school for his whole schooling- I coud not afford to send two to private school though.

[DaisyO]

hey pickle...

I just took my daughter to a fancy "play studio" today--it was expensive!  Would I be able to do that more than a couple of times a year with more than one?  Hell no, we would be at home with the Arthur books and the Elizabeth Mitchell cd on repeat!  Not that that would really be so bad...but she did love the play studio and had a great morning WITH other kids. 

Anyway, thought of you when I was forking over my entry fee this morning :)

xo

D

[*bejeweled*]

Hi Pickle,
Our DD is almost 10 years old. She goes horseback riding weekly and has piano lessons weekly. She is also in the choir at school and does safety patrol. There's no way that I would be able to support these activities if she had a sibling in the mix. She's been riding and playing piano for four years.

I love having an only. It's the best of both worlds for me---I'm a Mommy with freedom.

Oh yea, and I can afford cleaning ladies sometimes! That's a big deal for me!

[pickle18]

DaisyO - we do love some Elizabeth Mitchell, too, but it's nice to get out and shake it up a bit!   I love experiences like that to, that can be a springboard for new interests or be incorporated into play at home.

*bejeweled* - thanks for that!  DS is still a toddler, but I can see that flexibility only getting more important as he gets older.  I love the ability to indulge him in his interests. 

[samann1121]

A couple months ago I took our 3.5yo DD to the natural history museum in our town.  We looked at whatever we wanted, for as long as we wanted.  Then we sat in the cafe and shared a brownie and some orange juice (her choices! ).  It was so pleasant.  No fights to break up, no being pulled in two (or more!) directions.  Just a nice, pleasant, calm time.  Times like that make me think I would never want another.

[mrsmischief]

What a fun question to answer! I originally considered myself to have an only not by choice due to pregnancy losses and heath issues which made my daughter my only child and a vasectomy a wise decision. As she's grown the size of our family is something I now consider a joyful accident as it's become a life I truly relish thanks largely to how much we enjoy life together as a family and the many what I used to call "consolation prizes" that have now become cherished parts of family life, including those mentioned below. 

My family went to Disney World last fall and rode pretty much every ride together as a family. Considering most of the rides are built for three, I wouldn't have been able to share every ride with my entire family were we more than a party of three. Most airplane seating is friendlier to a family of three too! :) 

We enjoy many concerts, live theater performances, and other ticketed events that we likely couldn't if there were more tickets to be purchased. Traveling, be it vacations or day trips are easier with an only child. (My daughter has been to eighteen states already and we have her first foray in overseas travel planned for the near future.) I can utilize a bicycle as my primary mode of transport very easily with just one child. 

My daughter participates in several pricey extracurriculars we wouldn't have the time or money for if we had to fund activities for another child, including the indoor rock climbing gym where the three of us climb and the hula classes "us girls" take together. 

There are numerous mundane activities that I believe are richer and more enjoyable experiences as I can heap all of my attention and time on my daughter. Everything from painting and crafting together to baking and reading to building and gardening. Homeschooling my daughter has been a fun, challenging, and refreshing experience and extremely enjoyable thanks to being able to follow most every rabbit trail she wishes to go down and experiment, read, craft, and research to her hearts content. 

[virity2011]

I personally love the one on one time i get to have with my son.  He is two and a half and we are really enjoying being together.  There is so much more flexibitliy with one.  We spent 3 hours at the park one day then called daddy to come meet us for a picnic at the spur of the moment cause we just were having too much fun.  It's harder to do that with two or more cause not everyone will be having as much fun.  Also, yes, financially, you can offer so much more to one child but for me, it's all about the time i spend with him.  I find that when i need to get things done, he is great with playing on his own because i make sure to give him that mom time often.