Recently, my dd has started announcing this, mostly to me. She's not quite four, and has recently started playing with the neighbours (they're really, really awesome) on her own. The only thing I can come up with is that she hears this there, 'cause she's certainly never heard it at our house (they have several children, ranging in age from 22-7, and some of them use more "adult" language)! I don't so much care that she's being exposed to this, but I *do* care that she's telling me that she hates me! I do think she's just trying it out, to see what will happen, and also because I don't think she actually quite grasps the concept of hating someone. But, it still stings!
I've told her that it hurts my feelings when she says things like that, that it's fine to dislike me, or not like something I'm doing, and that she's free to tell me when she's unhappy with me/something. I've also told her things like, "That's really sad. I love *you* though."
And then, embarrassed to admit it, when she's announced that she hates me and then three seconds later wants help with something or wants to snuggle, I have told her that I don't want to be with her when she says hurtful things to me. I always end up helping her, or sitting with her, or whatever, but it takes me a few minutes, sometimes, to reset myself.
So, any tips or suggestions for getting her through this phase a little faster? Or, ideas to handle it better? Is there something I'm missing here?