Had Some Spotting Today « Back to Group Discussions

[mamacatsbaby]

And I'm crampy and my back hurts. Ugh! The slight brown spotting has since stopped but I swear, even if we weren't planning on this being our last (and we never say never), after we have our third I think I'll be good with that. Since I became a mommy I've never had that "Hmm, I think I might be done." feeling. I love pregnancy, my body likes to give birth , I love being a mom. I've been worried that I still wouldn't feel "done" after a third. But I've got to tell ya, I don't think I can handle the emotional roller coaster of pregnancy any longer. Things used to roll off my back a little more. Now, not so much. Although I try to just live my life and I know that everything is always just as it should be, no matter how much it's kicking my ass, it's still difficult to live through...

[willsmomm]

So true! I've been crampy/spotting since Wednesday and I'm just not able to find that kumbaya place where it's okay. I told my friend last night- I don't even want to act "strong", don't tell me just to have faith, it'll be okay. I know that stuff. It still sucks! And it's still scary every time. And I just want to feel the way I feel without getting told how to do it better.

I "behaved" through 6 weeks of spotting in my last pregnancy. This time I just kinda want to be a baby about it.

[Tenk]

I'm there too!!

With at least 2 of my last pregnancies I spotted for a full 6 weeks (sometimes more than spotting!) and I had a subchorionic hematoma causing the bleed.  This time my lower back is killing me, and I have "fluid" in the cul de sac (the back of my vagina but not visible in my uterus) and this fluid .... they have no idea where it's coming from to fill the cul de sac?!?!  But when it comes out its sometimes red and sometimes brown blood.  This just sucks!!  She said the lower back ache could be an asymptomatic bladder infection (maybe you too??) because it's very common in early pregnancy to have a bladder infection I guess. 

No matter what, waking up thinking today is going to be the day I lose the baby (AGAIN!!!) every few days sucks @ss and without a doubt *IF* we get a living baby this time I will have my tubes tied!!!!!
 

[BabySmurf]

I started bleeding again too :/ It's so nerve wracking! I agree that sometimes you just want to be a baby and get a hug!

[mamacatsbaby]

Hmm, asymptomatic bladder infection. That hadn't really crossed my mind Tenk. It's funny you say that too b/c DH wondered if maybe the way my back has been hurting is kidney related. I've had bladder infections and a kidney infection that developed from a rogue bladder infection, all quite nasty (good gravy, the pain! gimme transition ANY day!) and this doesn't seem to be related but it's certainly possible. I'll keep that in mind and mention this when I get to my first appointment (whenever I actually get around to making the appointment ). I've been hitting the water pretty hard and that seems to be helping. Nothing to do but persist and march on! All I want to do is crawl in bed with some chocolate and Thai food, watch movies, and indulge in some escapism .

[mamacatsbaby]

Arrrggghhhh!!! So the spotting had stopped but now it's been off and on. Small bits of pink mixed in with the brown at times. One or two gushes of clearish/brownish/pinkish fluid. It'll go away for a while and I start to mellow out a little bit but then it comes back! Cervix still hard and closed. Unfortunately I've been obsessively googling (please, don't do this! ). Sometimes I find helpful, encouraging things like around this time when the placenta takes over there can be breakthrough bleeding, lots of women bleeding or spotting from SCH or with no known cause that go on to have healthy pregnancies and babies, lots of women thinking for sure that MC was a done deal to go on and find they had a living baby still. Then I find the horror stories...

I was perusing my old DDC and I do remember spotting pink and red with him early on but apparently this happened a few times. I don't remember being anywhere NEAR this paranoid with him though. Gawd, this is some bull$%*!. I keep thinking I've felt the tiniest squirm from the baby, maybe b/c I need to think this, I dunno. It could be anything though so I'm not really focused on that. My first appointment won't be until December so guess I'm waiting to see! Blech...

[willsmomm]

I'm sorry! I agree- Google is not your friend!

Mine has seemed to taper off but I'm sure it will be back. I truly hate this. It really sucks always thinking "if we have this baby", instead of "when the baby is born". Bah... I've been debating going in for a u/s for peace of mind but with my last pregnancy I would do that and then bleed the very next day and there was just no point. I'm just trying to deal this time. I know I have an SCH, and I knew to expect more bleeding.

I don't know if I mentioned it but maybe this will help? At 5.5 weeks I totally thought I had a MC. I had bad cramping and got stuck in the bathroom gushing blood for 20 minutes before I could even get up to get a towel. I bled like a stuck pic for a couple of hours and I was lightheaded and shaky. I slept and bled like a light period the rest of the day. I thought that was the end. But I went in for a u/s a few days later and lo and behold there was a heartbeat. Crazy! Those kids really can hang in there through quite alot. Blows my mind!

They did tell me I'd have more spotting/bleeding so I wasn't surprised but what kills me is my overwhelming, debilitating nausea took a hike last Wed when the bleeding started. Ugh. Luckily I am now getting little bouts of nausea here and there but it's not exactly enough to be definitive. So lame!

We'll have to have a party on here when we have our 2nd tri ultrasounds and get to see our healthy babies thriving.

[mamacatsbaby]

Thanks so much willsmomm! And now I'm going to cry so I guess the hormones are still working?!

Originally Posted by willsmomm 
It really sucks always thinking "if we have this baby", instead of "when the baby is born". Bah... I've been debating going in for a u/s for peace of mind but with my last pregnancy I would do that and then bleed the very next day and there was just no point. I'm just trying to deal this time.

You summed this up perfectly. That's exactly how I've been feeling. Seriously, WTF?! It sucks. I had an US about 20 weeks with DS1 and one around 12 weeks maybe? with DS2 and didn't feel it necessary to have anymore with those two. This time around quite a few times I've been ready to drive to the ER and sit for 8 hours to get one in just so I could could have some kind of relief for the moment of this anxiety (which has totally taken over at this point). And if not relief then I could get on with my grief if that was the case. But I've decided to just try and deal with the situation as best i can as well since it is what it is no matter what.

Your story does help, a lot. Wow! How terrifying and incredible! They really do show incredible strength now don't they?

My mellow symptoms have also eased up a lot. I still have some aversions, a little gagging when I brush my teeth sometimes, a little tired, but none of this is anything huge. I still feel "off" but I'm so freaked out that I can't really hear my intuition clearly. Yes, so very lame! I'm sad b/c I've had to distance myself quite a bit from all this ATM and that's just not how pregnancy should be IMO. I want to be HappyPregnantLady from pregnancies 1 and 2 .

Yes, let's have a giant 2nd tri party, complete with virtual champagne and dancing bananas when we get there .

[mamacatsbaby]

Bleeding red this morning and passing clots. Not too heavy but enough to upset. Anything is possible but I'm not getting my hopes up too high. Meh, this is anti-fun. If this thing is goin' down it needs to come on so I can deal with it and move on, try again...

[SweetMama34]

Thinking of you, mamacats. Are you putting a call into your provider today? Hope everything works out okay.

[Mama4life14]

So sorry Mamacatsbaby.. what an emotional roller coaster. Hope everything turns out okay. Thoughts are with you!

[mamacatsbaby]

Thanks so very much for all of the support you guys . I'm so sorry for any of us that have had to deal with this level of anxiety, spotting, and anything else that pushes our stress levels up..

I woke up this morning around 2AM with some pretty nasty cramps. Got up to go to the bathroom and it really began. Was still in the bathroom trying to breathe and deal with what was happening two hours later when my toddler, who doesn't appreciate it when I'm gone from the bed for too long woke up and started calling for me. So then I was nursing/talking to/playing with my DS2, taking showers/going to the bathroom, dealing with the pain and shock of what was going on, cleaning up, and trying not to FTFO for the next few hours. Not so great I must say.

Around 6:30 this morning everything came to a head. This is all so surreal. I'm feeling a lot of things but I'm numb at the same time?! Uh, ok then...

Guess it was my turn on the MC Wheel-o-Fun. Such a crap ride and I want my money back. Intellectually, and even deep within my spirit, I know that everything in life works together for a reason, no matter how shitty it feels; at least that's my opinion of things. This is some traumatic bull though. I can only blink in awe of the strength of those of you who have had to deal with birth and/or pregnancy loss multiple times over (including my sister).

I'll go in to my provider's office sooner rather than later probably just to make sure everything is complete and all. I'm pretty weak and dizzy so I'm taking it easy today and letting the boys watch a few Netflix shows and whatnot. I went this morning and got prenatals, folate, pregnancy tea, liquid iron with trace minerals, and a liquid cal/mag/D3. My head is and I feel like I'm doing something other than sitting here shellshocked. We want to start trying again in January so I'm just going to concentrate on exercising, eating well, etc. and working through the emotional upheaval of this event.

I really enjoyed the time I got to spend with you ladies here in this DDC. I hope the remainder of your pregnancies are happy, healthy, worry free and that you get to snuggle up to your sweet babies in June .

[dayiscoming2006]

I'm sorry mamacatsbaby. You seem to have handled things well. I know how hard it is. I'm still nervous every day. Take good care of yourself. 

[littlegreenlady]

So sorry! 

[LittleBlackBug]

I am so sorry for the day you have had. I hope you start to feel a little better.

[sky_and_lavender]

I'm sorry for your loss. Sounds like you're redoubling your efforts to take good care of yourself on all levels. Good plan. I wish you healing and a healthy pregnancy in the future!
 

[SweetMama34]

I'm so so sorry for your loss. I've been there and it's amazingly difficult, I know. Hold your little one close and rest...and heal.

[willsmomm]

Oh no, no, NO!!! I am so sad and so, so sorry! My heart hurts. I know there is nothing I can say or do to help but I am and will be thinking of you.

[spotty4]

{{HUGS}}
 

[CookingMama]

Sorry MamaCats :(