4 month hold not lifting head

[katieesther]

So I always told myself I wasn't going to get all worried over milestones and I have been avoiding them online and in books but my almost 4 month old (in 4 days) isn't holding her head up when laying on her stomach.  She has hated tummy time since the first day we tried it so I avoided it knowing she would cry and now occasionally lets me set her down now for about 5 minutes!  When she is on her tummy she doesn't show any interest in lifting her head and I have tried a few 'tricks' to try and get her to - but she'll just move her eyes up at me or whatever I'm shaking, lol.  I'm only a little worried because we go to the doctors in about a week for the first time since our midwife stopped the checks and I don't know how they will act towards this.  She was 3 weeks early so I have been trying to reassure myself that this is why she seems behind.  Should I be going by a chart for a younger baby?

I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance that my little chicky is just fine and maybe a little advice on how to handle the doctors.  I have been purposely avoiding this day mostly because I knew it would be me going in alone and I really don't want to hear the doctors criticize how we choose to parent Aurora.  I'm kind of a scardy cat :P

Thanks ahead of time, Mamas!

[LilyTiger]

My understanding (and someone please correct me if I'm wrong) is that if the babe is early you go off what her actual due date would have been in terms of developmental milestones, not her actual birthday.  Every baby is different, but I wouldn't worry too much yet.  I would worry more if she weren't achieving social milestones (like smiling and babbling) than the physical ones, particularly if it's just one physical milestone.  Is her head stable when she's upright?  Can she roll over or is she starting to try?  If those are fine, I wouldn't worry about one particular move.