Will you find out the sex? - why or why not, and sex reveals for those who do! « Back to Group Discussions

[MarieWalter]

I thought it'd be fun to have a thread where we keep info when we find out what sex our kiddos will be - for those of us who are planning to! Does anyone know yet? The farthest along of us are, what, about 16 wks?

We're having an ultrasound around 18 wks but we've decided not to find out. I just really like the idea of meeting the little person on her or his own terms. I am also avoiding well-meaning friends and relatives piling me up with pink frilly stuff or blue robot stuff :) Well actually, they can do that if they like and I will dress my baby in all of it regardless! I also think it's super fun to pick 2 complete names and then find out which one you get to use at the end of all of it.

What have you all decided, and why? Some people we've told that we're waiting are aghast (my sister in law was so funny - "ahhhhhh! it's a surprise no matter when you find out!") and others love the idea of a late surprise (I think the older folks who didn't have the opportunity to know, themselves).

We can also use this space to speculate :) I have been getting boy vibes lately - but I think it's just because we've been working on boy names.

Take the poll too if you want!

[TwilightJoy]

I voted yes! We have an ultrasound at 20 weeks, hopefully will find out then!

[CoBabyMaker]

We have always found out. With our first we both wanted to. With our second I kind of wanted to wait for birth but it's important to DH. This will be our last and I want to know what to expect. If we have another girl it's simple because we already have girl stuff. If we have a boy we'll need some different things. We are also hoping for a boy this time so I want time to process the gender. For me, I also feel more bonded to the baby once I know.

[lisedea]

Oh, we are definitely finding out! We have had enough surprises...

[Lynann]

Definitely on Team Green here. We waited with our previous pregnancies too, and not knowing kind of helps me mentally get through labor. Last time I felt sure it would be a girl, as everything was so different from my previous pregnancy with DS1, but once the baby came out and DH saw it was another boy neither of us had even a second of disappointment. We were just so happy to finally meet this baby, and also having a successful home birth after ceasarean, that we really didn't give it another thought.

This time I'm actually leaning towards another boy, but if a girl pops out I'll honestly be just as excited.

We also have plenty of gender neutral clothes for the first few sizes since we never find out ahead of time. And the family will all have plenty of time to buy girl clothes if bubs turns out to be a girl, as we won't need more clothes until about 3-6 months size (if a girl.) Also living in South Florida I've found that my babies basically live in onesies & diapers for the first 6 months or so, except for going places like Church which is when we'll put on a whole outfit.

I do find other people get way more impatient to find out the gender than we do as the parents. I've already been asked several times when we'll find out, and every single one was surprised when I answered "at the birth."

[Kate&Joey]

We're finding out the sex...mostly for practical purposes.  I saved a lot of DS' more cute and special baby clothes.  So I will want to sort out his old stuff and donate what I can.  I will also know whether I should be saving the clothes that DSD grows out of or if I should donate that as well.

And well, both of our kiddos were "surprises" with our previous spouses.  So this is a way to be a bit different, together. 

[scary biscuits]

We found out for our first and it was really nice to be able to call him by his name and I think it helped my dh feel more connected as well. And I can remember going to the ultrasound when my mom was pregnant with my (12 years younger) sister, it was so exciting to see a girl on the screen:)

Also, it seems like everyone we know has an opinion about which we are having and it is making my decision to not think about the sex of the baby very difficult. Especially all the people who are so sure we are having a girl. Because I really want a girl, so I feel like there is this pressure, even if they don't mean it that way. And of course, it's been decided long before we even knew, but still. Oh well:) I'll be 14 weeks on Saturday, so long to go until the 20 week ultrasound. I will try to stay zen (ya right:)

[kimble]

Another team green here. We would rather be surprised when the babe is born, and I guess that's just our nature. Neither of us likes pink stuff, so even if it is a girl we'll be stocked with gender neutral supplies and clothes for a second some time in the future. somehow I think "boy colors" like a blue and red striped onesie are easier to adapt to a girl - just throw on a headband or something - than pink/purple are for a boy. I was such a tomboy growing up, that if this is a girl (which would surprise both of us) she will have to ask for pink stuff when/if it matters to her.

[adventuregirl]

Nope, not finding out until the little one makes their appearance! Not doing any u/s, so there wouldn't be another way to know. It is funny to see people's reactions though, they are often shocked, I guess because its just so common to find out these days. If I did find out, I don't know if I'd share, as I like the neutral clothes. With DD we didn't know until the birth, but we still had more pink that I think I had ever seen before, so its nice to have a mix if you can.

[Mama4life14]

We will definitely be finding out as long as the baby cooperates and gives us a good little peep! We found out with our son and it was nice to know and plan for it. I really want to know if it's a girl this time. If its not I'd be okay with a boy too! But just to have one of each would be great! As this will probably be our last baby.

I'm kind of getting girl vibes, only because with my son we could only pick boy names and could not agree on any girl names. This time around, it's the opposite! We have a girls name but can't agree on a boys name. So we will see! My 20 week ultrasound is Jan 11. Can't wait!! Hope it comes fast!

[timesway]

I tryed to find out at my scan on monday but they couldnt tell, so i have another scan the first week of december, so i'm hoping *fingers crossed* to find out then.. i just cant wait until then lol.. i;m the kind of person who has to mentally prepare myself for everything... and knowing the gender will help :P i had a girl feeling to start, then a boy feeling and now im starting to wonder girl again.. i'm well n truly confused!! HA :P
 

[sweetlowmom]

Ooh, I'm definitely finding out ... I found that with my first pregnancy, knowing that it was a boy and deciding on the name early really helped me "bond" with him, talk to him in the womb, etc. I am looking forward to finding out! At first I really really wanted another boy, but now I think it might be a girl (it is a very different pregnancy so far, for whatever that's worth), and I've realized I'm okay with that too. I had an ultrasound this week (16 weeks) but it was just a super fast check up and they didn't look to see if they could even see what sex the baby was, even though I asked (no time I guess, that's public healthcare for you ... they do the essentials but that's it ... but really, I can't complain AT ALL because it as all free! :) ) ... so I am hoping to find out in a month at my 20-week ultrasound/anatomy scan. So interesting to read everyone's responses!
 

[Kate&Joey]

Originally Posted by kimble 

Neither of us likes pink stuff, so even if it is a girl we'll be stocked with gender neutral supplies and clothes for a second some time in the future. somehow I think "boy colors" like a blue and red striped onesie are easier to adapt to a girl - just throw on a headband or something - than pink/purple are for a boy. I was such a tomboy growing up, that if this is a girl (which would surprise both of us) she will have to ask for pink stuff when/if it matters to her.

I totally agree with this!  I am not a 'pink' person so it will be a struggle if this babe is a girl.  I was given lots of neutrals for DS since I didn't find out the gender last time.  Even after DS was here and obviously a boy, I didn't go for blue.  I've mostly dressed him in chocolate brown / khaki / creme / greens / oranges; I'm just drawn to those colors.

[nstewart]

Originally Posted by lisedea 

Oh, we are definitely finding out! We have had enough surprises...

 Yes, yes you have!    I'm pretty sure if we were having multiples I would want to find out. 

Originally Posted by kimble 

Another team green here. We would rather be surprised when the babe is born, and I guess that's just our nature. Neither of us likes pink stuff, so even if it is a girl we'll be stocked with gender neutral supplies and clothes for a second some time in the future. somehow I think "boy colors" like a blue and red striped onesie are easier to adapt to a girl - just throw on a headband or something - than pink/purple are for a boy. I was such a tomboy growing up, that if this is a girl (which would surprise both of us) she will have to ask for pink stuff when/if it matters to her.

 One of my good friends was also a total tom boy growing up.  Her eldest is now 4, and has been princess and pink obsessed for about 2 years.  My friend has no idea where her DD gets it, as they don't do the "princess" thing at home (well, now they do I guess) and just so flabbergasted at having to buy everything in pink and having princess stuff all through the house.  lol

We are on team green too.  With DS, I wanted to find out and DH really did not.  So, since there wasn't a reason I had to know we kept it a surprise.  Best surprise EVER!  We won't find out again.  It's just too fun to be surprised.  I also like trying to guess, and I think more people can feel "involved" in the pregnancy.  Everyone can guess and be excited to find out when the baby is born.  Also, it will keep my shopping habits (and more importantly, that of my mom!) restrained.  My mom would love to know so she could start shopping now!  When DS was born she went shopping for boy clothes on the way to the hospital.    I am still getting girly vibes.  I will be much surprised if this baby has a penis!

I also find it interesting how evenly split we are so far.  40/40 with 10 undecided.  Only one of my friends found out, but in other circles it might be the exact opposite with only one not finding out.

[Paceman]

We didn't find out with the first.  (well until I was fully dilated and they were checking me and told me they could feel scrotum. Not what you want to hear at that point!) But I plan on finding out with this one. We have our u/s in December and I will get them to write it down and put it in an envelope that I will give to my friend.  I will also give her a boy outfit and a girl outfit (I am ok with pink and blue) to wrap up one of.  On Christmas eve with our families we will open our gift.  We are very excited for our gender reveal!
 

[timesway]

Paceman-thats really sweet.. and lol.. the idea of someone feeling a scrotum between your legs is slightly disconcerting and also i guess meant baby was the wrong way up?

I want to be able to be strong and wait, but altho i'm cool with gender neutral and i dont like pink and blue specifically, From going round the shops even the grey clothes seem to have a slight leaning where som elook more boy-ish and others more girl-ish. and so i just cant do any buying, or thinking how to decorate, and i just want to stop calling the baby it.. my cousins and my friends all didnt find out , i think i'm the first to want to.. but although i love surprises, when it comes to huge things to prepare for i need to harvest as much information as possible, at every possible stage. and for me, this means knowing EVERYTHING!!
 

[nstewart]

Paceman, that is SO cute and awesome!  I love it! 

[Gooseberry]

We'll wait until the baby is born.  We've done that twice already.  For me, that moment when you meet your baby is even more dramatic and exciting when you're finding out the gender as well.  Also, there's way too much obscenely ruffled girl clothing out there.  We have two girls, but were spared a lot of that because most gifts we received were at the baby shower, when no one knew the gender.  Like someone else said, we've got a lot of gender neutral clothing in the smallest sizes, so even if we have a boy, we're covered.  We've literally saved every piece of clothing that was in good enough condition to save, so the real problem will be getting rid of all of the girl clothes if we have a boy.  We'll have to sort through about 8 crates of clothing.

[aHikaru]

we kind of already found out, it was kinda obvious though... btw, didn't change bonding at all, I still feel the same as I did before I found out. 

[Paceman]

Originally Posted by Paceman 

We didn't find out with the first.  (well until I was fully dilated and they were checking me and told me they could feel scrotum. Not what you want to hear at that point!) But I plan on finding out with this one. We have our u/s in December and I will get them to write it down and put it in an envelope that I will give to my friend.  I will also give her a boy outfit and a girl outfit (I am ok with pink and blue) to wrap up one of.  On Christmas eve with our families we will open our gift.  We are very excited for our gender reveal!
 

I just told my friend who I am going to get to wrap the outfit.  I made my friend's mom cry that was there with us.  ha ha I laugh because we were picking out my friends wedding dress and her mom didn't cry for that but did when I told her about our gender reveal surprise.  I am sure it was just the emotions of the day with her daughter getting married and such.