Yup, pretty much everyone asks us this too and I too don't ask this question of expecting women/couples either. I mean, it's better than some of the other highly personal questions people ask (Was it planned? Were you twins surprise (or just flat out asking if you were doing infertility treatments)? etc.), but it really is a super common question, even more common than questions I think make more sense like "When are you due?" or "How far along are you?" or "How are you feeling?" and so on. I guess people are just looking for the next big announcement and for a lot of folks it is the gender announcement.
Yes! The "were you trying" really gets me. Remind me WHY exactly people want to know that? ACK! Or how about when people people tell me they're trying? Say whaaa? Don't tell me that! And "when are you due"...ok, is it mean of me that I get a sort of satisfaction out of answering people's questions in a very unconventional way? (I drive my mother crazy). "Were you trying?" "Well, we weren't NOT trying" or "Not really, we tried once." Or "when is your due date?" I just tell people I don't know my due date, that we're due sometime in May, probably mid-late May, that we're focusing on a range of time. "Your doctor didn't give you a due date?????" I get asked. Me,"meh, not really. We're just gonna go with the flow." The shock on people's faces of "going with the flow" I have to say is pretty great. Is this bad of me?
I know people are just being kind. And people mean SO well. But for someone who talks alot and gives too many details about life in general, somehow I don't want to share details on this. I think it's just the "why do I have to go with the grain?" mentality.
I do appreciate when people ask "how are you feeling". IMO that's a polite and thoughtful thing to ask.