This is baby #3 for me, second with a midwife. We didn't have a doula with the last 2 - DH was a great support. Now he works out of town a lot (50% of the time) and I'm thinking I'd really hate to be all by myself in labour. Thinking doula, or sister or sister-in-law as support. Are doulas really all that?
Anyone use a Doula and a midwife?
My DH is a terrible advocate. Doesn't know his stuff well enough. When I was in Romania they actually convinced him to help flip me from my hands and knees pushing position to my back despite my plees to be left alone. Wanted to beat him up after that, but he's just too into following the authority figure in the room. So, if I was in a hospital 100% I would want a doula. I am planning a home birth with a midwife and after our initial consult, she seemed cool. I will have to ask if she would transfer to the hospital with me and be able to act as a "doula" if the need came up. Didn't think to ask that in the first consult. I think I'll only get a doula if I have to change to a hospital birth because of risking out of care or something. Hubby wouldn't likely be willing to pay for both a doula and a midwife.
I had a midwife assisted hospital birth with my first baby. I was kind of under the impression that she would also act as a support person and help me avoid the need for pain relief, but that wasn't really the case. She is there to make sure me and my baby are safe and healthy, not to be a doula.
This time I will get a doula, not because I feel like I need an advocate, but I need a support person. I'm planning on having this baby at home and I know my midwife could be busy with other deliveries and not show up until an hour before I deliver (or she may even show up after the birth, I've heard of this happening to lots of women in my area having homebirths) so I feel like someone to support me through the process is important. I don't expect my midwife to be there the entire time I'm laboring, but thats what you pay a doula for.
A little different perspective..... I am a doula and have been at homebirths with midwives. I think it depends on your family situation whether you need the extra support. I think if you are planning a homebirth a postpartum doula may be of more use. Meals, laundry, kids, help taking a shower all that stuff that at least in my observation does not usually come natural to the husband. Let your husband cuddle up with you and the newborn and the doula can bring your family a meal. To me its the best of both worlds. In my own homebirth my dh was amazing in labor and then my mom really helped after the birth since my dh fell asleep. ha ha. I am now planning my second homebirth and considering hiring a postpartum doula. P.S. If you are planning a hospital birth definitely get a birth doula the support will be invaluable.
loved my doula with baby #2 in the hospital and I will use one again. She was by my side continuously and knew what to do inorder to keep me in the zone that I wanted to be in. My husband was able to relax and I was able to relax. I felt like the nurses gave us special attention because there was a doula in the room with us who was 'aware' of what was going on. It was a relief to the nurses and midwife to have the doula with me.