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Self Improvement

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 

So there are some things I want to work on within myself, and I'm looking for commiseration, stories of how you managed to change these things, etc.


1. I want to be a better housecleaner. When I get going, I usually clean for about 15-45 minutes, and get a lot done. It's just hard for me to get going. And there are jobs I HATE, like cleaning the shower.


2. I want to work out more. I have a membership to a yoga/pilates studio that just started, but since I live so far out of town it's a 40 minutes drive each way, and it's so hard to want to go into town 'just' to work out. Maybe I could combine it with errands, but I'd still need childcare. It just seems overwhelming. 


3. I want to be more calm/think of other people more. I have a history of anger and selfishness and I want to break that habit. It's not like I can just flip a switch though, and it's hard to know which first steps to take.


Thanks for any input!

post #2 of 7

The yoga 40 minutes away doesn't sound too feasablie to me. I would set a more realistic workout goal, even if it's just 10 minutes a day. I am horrible at workouts unless I go to a gym, and due to my work hours and logistics, the gym isn't possible. I got an exercise bike and do that for cardio and then crunches, push ups, etc. I found that for me, when I set my goals as "workout five times a week for a min 30 minutes each time" , what would happen is I would miss a few days or not have enough time to do a full workout, and then I would get mad at myself, which isn't productive. So, I made the goal smaller, which is to work out regularly, even if it is just a set of sit ups. The consistency is what is important to me, and getting into the routine and mindest helps me reach the ultimate goal of more cardio. My long rambling point is, set goals that are easy to achieve and then go from there :)

post #3 of 7
Thread Starter 

Well, the membership is free, so I want to make use of it. But i get what you are saying :)

post #4 of 7
Originally Posted by BabyMae09 View Post

Well, the membership is free, so I want to make use of it. But i get what you are saying :)

Membership is free but daycare, gas, miles etc add up.  


Can you let go of your expectations and learn to accept things as they are.  No one is Mary Poppins.  No one has a perfect home,  I'm sure we all would like to clean better.


Can you carve out some 'me' time each day.  Maybe 5-10 mins just to meditate etc.  If you start there I bet the other areas will come together in good time.

post #5 of 7
Thread Starter 

I think I might be able to get my Dad and Mom to help with childcare while I work out. I could probably manage at least once a week since I have to go into town for playdates, errands, etc.


And I do get plenty of 'me time' since my kids live with their Dad about 1/2 the week.


does anyone know about some good organizational stuff for an Andriod phone? Maybe that's what I really need.

post #6 of 7

Well there ya go, go to your classes when the kids are at their dad's. Also the perfect time to clean! I don't know your kidddo's ages, but why not plan a playdate in town, where you can drop them off for an hour or two while you go to your class.. then offer to take their kid's next time. Childcare swapping, sleepover swaps, and playtime swaps have saved my sanity.


For cleaning you have to kind of build your own system. For me, I do things in steps, otherwise I get caught up in the details. First I sweep the room for trash and get that out. Then I sweep the room for laundry, get that out. Then pick up all the toys, markers.. whatever doesn't belong and put it away. Then after pick up, start cleaning surfaces.. wipe down all tables at once.. dust shelves, whatever needs to be done, then sweep, and every other time, mop.

I also have a low shelf for shoes, and can ask the kids to go put their shoes away in the shoe 'pile'. Don't be afraid to ask kid's to help. Even little ones can wipe tables, or put a piece of trash in a trash can. My 7 y.o. loves to scrub toilets with the long handled wand. go figure. Also emphasize they have to help put away what is theirs. I wash the laundry and fold it, they have to take it to their rooms and put it away. Put a low hook rack up and the kids can hang up their own coats and book bags. Things like that make it easier.

I also personally love cleaning wipes. I know they are probably not the best for the environment, but they make it so easy, they make me actually clean more then I would with reusable materials.

Also, another way to tackle big cleaning jobs that pile up, dishes, laundry, toys.... is to keep culling them and get rid of what you don't need. It helps so much to have less to care for to begin with!


As for the personal stuff, you say you have a history of anger. That is something you may need to get counseling for. What is making you so angry? That needs to be investigated and addressed and you must find your own way to let it go. Examine it, find out what it means to you and find what you need to help you heal that anger.. it helps to have people who support you and motivate you and accept you to get through those kinds of things. Cultivate gratitude for what brings you joy in life. Maybe pick up old hobbies you used to love that have fallen to the way side, or try a new hobby you've always wanted to try.. it can be relaxing and motivating to have something your into. Or maybe exploring the meditation idea.. how can you use the anger to change it into a positive- perhaps help others to protect them from your experiences, or perhaps those emotions would be motivating in your excersise.. something to burn away, or maybe you need a creative outlet.. pour those feelings into a painting or a craft.. or bury them in a garden...

Also, being selfish is not always bad. Alot of mamas give so much of themselves they forget to give themselves what they need. You may want to reflect on what you have in life right now, every thing you appreciate, and then also think about what you would like to have, and how could you get yourself there, or what actually steps you could take to have more of what you want in your life. To connect and support others more, talk to them, ask about their lives and genuinely listen, be accountable.. if you say you will do  something, do it. Keep people in your circle that give you positive energy, not draining takers. I know I am being pretty broad, but it's a pretty broad question, so really you just have to find what works for you. And it may take a minute.. try something, if it doesn't work, try something else. Keep what works and get rid of the rest.

Best of luck to you and working on your self.

post #7 of 7


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