You know you're pregnant when... « Back to Group Discussions

[Teles]

Humor always makes everything better, so I'm thinking we should have a thread to collect all the ridiculous anecdotes and funny little things that happen in our lives to keep each other amused.

I'll start:

It doesn't matter how many times I try to tell myself that it doesn't work, I still turn to the side to try and squeeze through smaller spaces.

One of the staff bathrooms at the hospital I work at has stall doors that you have to pull toward you to get out of so I now have to back up and straddle the toilet to open the door without smacking myself in the belly. On a related note, I've also left the bathroom numerous times now without pulling my shirt down over my belly. I'm not sure if it's because I"m usually wearing the belly band and just get the sense that it's covered so I must be done redressing, but it happens at least twice daily.

[MrsBabyBump]

you know your pregnant when..

you drop something on the floor and its no longer important unless the hubby is around. ha!

[etsdtm99]

LOL i keep doing the turning sideways thing..

i'll have to think about this..
 

[mariee]

Oh my goodness, YES to the bathroom issue.  

And you know you're pregnant when you look at your shirt at the end of the day, and it has stains, marks, food, lint, dirt, and toddler spuge on the biggest point of your belly...... because your belly has been rubbing against everything all day!

[sweetestday]

You have to stand sideways while doing dishes. I'm so glad to have gotten a dishwasher for our 10th anniversary this year!!!

[HouseofPeace]

wow!  dishwasher (portable) was priority for us!!!  you guys must be saints after 10 years w/out one!  we fought a lot more when we had to do dishes for 2 hours every night....

Teles- right on w/ the turning sideways thing!!!  i keep doing it, and also seem to forget to get all my clothes in place when i'm 'dressed up'- i've gone w/ long sweaters that i can't mess up!  but i don't have to look nice.

MrsBabyBump-  And i still hit the floor when hubby isn't around, but if there's anyone else who can pick it up (and to watch me grunt and moan as i deep squat to get things) i ask for help!  i'd rather not have an audience!

You know you're pregnant when you make a cheesecake for thanksgiving and show up with a quarter of it missing.  And no one even considers asking why.....

You know you're pregnant when you do deep squats 3 times before leaving the bathroom every time you pee to get those durn maternity stockings to not ride uncomfortably.  And you also wait to go until it's urgent b/c you don't want to have to rearrange your entire wardrobe just to pee, and then put it back on!!  Every bathroom visit, even just peeing, takes at least 5 minutes....

You know you're pregnant when you wake up with a leg cramp, something that feels like a head up in your ribs, and some random new pain, and you throw yourself off the side of your bed for 30 seconds hoping that the inversion will fix everything but the cramp...  and your husband glances over and just ignores it all.  (and hopes you don't have a cramp and aren't going to need him to rub it out at 3am!)

[Teles]

Originally Posted by HouseofPeace 

You know you're pregnant when you do deep squats 3 times before leaving the bathroom every time you pee to get those durn maternity stockings to not ride uncomfortably.  And you also wait to go until it's urgent b/c you don't want to have to rearrange your entire wardrobe just to pee, and then put it back on!!  Every bathroom visit, even just peeing, takes at least 5 minutes....

You know you're pregnant when you wake up with a leg cramp, something that feels like a head up in your ribs, and some random new pain, and you throw yourself off the side of your bed for 30 seconds hoping that the inversion will fix everything but the cramp...  and your husband glances over and just ignores it all.  (and hopes you don't have a cramp and aren't going to need him to rub it out at 3am!)

Lol!

I have a ritual of grabbing the crotch of my pantyhose and doing a little shuffle, one leg at a time, hoping with everything in me not to tear them.

Also, DH has gotten so used to my sudden gasps of pain due to this nerve issue that I've been dealing with that he no longer even looks over at me when it's happening. I also frequently wake up in the middle of the night moaning "no, no, no, no" over and over again when I get the leg cramps, which he has also successfully tuned out.

I have another one:

you pause before every staircase for a woeful stare and a sigh

[eminvc]

...when your mantra is, "If I can't wear yoga pants, I'm not going!"
 

[loveandgarbage]

I've gotten struck by leg cramps at night many a time and if DH didn't instantly spring into action I'd be so pissed! I've started to take a magnesium supplement and that's helped a lot.

My personal one is that I know I'm pregnant when I suddenly think picking my kids up from school and running errands in pajamas pants is acceptable. I'm usually that annoying put-together mom, but that's completely gone out the window.

[Brambleberry]

Originally Posted by sweetestday 

You have to stand sideways while doing dishes. I'm so glad to have gotten a dishwasher for our 10th anniversary this year!!!

We were just trying to install a dishwasher today.  Even though we just built our own house before DD was born we didn't design the kitchen to accommodate a dishwasher because we were convinced that they were big energy and water hogs and we didn't want anything that high tech.  Now we're having twins and suddenly looking for all possible means of simplifying our housework.  I haven't been able to convince DH of the need for a dryer yet, unfortunately. If we had an easy place to put one he'd agree to getting a used one and getting rid of it after the twins are out of diapers, but we didn't design the house for a dryer either.  I'm in a huge funk tonight that we didn't get the dishwasher in.  It should have been a simple project, but we're having to rebuild the cabinets next to the sink to accommodate it.  I built our cabinets myself, and luckily (?) I still hadn't gotten around to building the drawers that were supposed to go in those spaces.  I'm just so frustrated at the limitations my belly is imposing on me right now.  I'm normally the head carpenter/plumber/electrician, and while DH knows the basics, he is so SLOW and it's hard for me to not just try to wiggle my massive baby bulk under the sink and do it myself.

[odinsmama]

We've been married for 16 years and we just got a portable dish washer about 8 months ago. It is the best kitchen thing ever. Seriously has reduced my stress about keeping the house semi-clean. To be able to walk into a kitchen full of dirty dinner dishes and know it's going to take me less than 10 minutes to rinse them and get them in there... worth every penny!!
I probably would not have planned a 3rd baby if not for the dish washer. I'm fairly serious about that.

Yeah, still turning sideways here to try and fit through small spaces. And by the end I will have to use the larger bathroom stalls when we're out of the house.

[Adaline'sMama]

We got a portable dishwasher a few weeks ago. Life is amazing. 

You know youre pregnant when....

~you sweep up change that falls on the floor because it's not worth picking up. (quarters not included)

~you cant reach stuff in the top cabinet, not because you are short, but because your belly jams into the counter too much.

~it's hard to get stuff out of the washing machine because your belly is in the way

[Brambleberry]

You know you're pregnant when you have to ask your toddler to fasten your shoes for you.

(they're velcro-strap mary janes - very similar to her own shoes.  She gets a huge kick out of it. Unfortunately, neither she nor DH are very good at putting my socks on for me, LOL.)

[eminvc]

Originally Posted by Brambleberry 

You know you're pregnant when you have to ask your toddler to fasten your shoes for you.

(they're velcro-strap mary janes - very similar to her own shoes.  She gets a huge kick out of it. Unfortunately, neither she nor DH are very good at putting my socks on for me, LOL.)

Oh wow. I'm only wearing slip-on shoes at this point, and haven't worn socks in months (one of the few perks of living in southern CA).

When you have to have DH spot you getting out of the bath--I feel like a roly poly hippo trying to hoist myself out. Our 2nd bath has a handicap-accessible tub w/ a bench and poles on the sides. I'm thinking of moving over to that one.

[Teles]

I had DH paint my toenails a couple days ago. He tried really hard, which I appreciate, but the outcome was pretty messy.

[typebug]

Originally Posted by etsdtm99 

LOL i keep doing the turning sideways thing..

i'll have to think about this..
 

I keep doing this to get behind people's chairs in restaurants and then all of a sudden I realize I'M STUCK! So embarrassing.

[typebug]

Here are a few travel ones I have just experienced. You know you're pregnant when:

- You turf your laptop from the carry-on luggage and leave it behind (I haven't been anywhere without one in five years)

- The guy in the airport info booth runs around the booth and up to you so you don't have to waddle as far

- When a flight attendant offers to carry your purse on and off the plane you gratefully accept no matter how silly this looks

- You look for the elevator when you see stairs

- You opt out of the lounge even if you have the tickets for it because it's at the other end of the terminal

- You actually let porters take your bags

- You visit every single one of the washrooms in the airport

- You don't bother moving at all on the moving sidewalk

- The flight attendants walk you to the bathroom when the lights are dimmed because they think you might fall

- You realize that you've somehow collected five pillows and two blankets by the end of the flight and still have ideas about where you could use just one more

[eminvc]

When you have to wait in line at a public restroom and you start glaring at the people in front of you thinking, "Damn it, can't they see I'm PREGNANT?"

A couple of times people have let me cut in front of them. That is very nice. And I've actually come to expect it a little. This past weekend, having to stop at gas stations, McDonald's and the like during our too-long holiday road trip, not one single person let me cut...it was every woman for herself out there!