HOMEBIRTH!!! « Back to Group Discussions

[MyKidKissTrees]

Who all is planning a homebirth!!  Here's the support thread for us HBers!

Even if you are NOT a Homebirther, feel free to lurk or jump in! The only reason I ended up having a homebirth with my son was because one day I decided to lurk on my DDC's Homebirth Support group... you know... just to see what those psychotic HBers were up to  and then I started researching statistics on cdc wonder... and ended up switching from my hospital birth plan!  Best decision I ever made!!!  
 

[MyKidKissTrees]

I am living in trying HB times here in Maryland.  Where I live there are NO legal HBMWs.  SO everything is underground.  CPMs that practice out of state and come in or just risk prosecution for helping us.  Last time my HB was totally legal here.  But this time... Im going to have to go underground to find one.  Im excited though to have another HB :)  And to get to meet a lot of MWs!

Anyone else in a similar situation living in an anti-HB climate?

[Starfish11]

Wait, how did I not realize that you are in MD?! It's really upsetting, the state of homebirthing affairs in this state. I have a few friends who were in the thick of the controversy and while they had successful home births, they could have done without the drama afterward.

And of course this would not have happened if it were not illegal here. Mamas should be able to make the choices that are best for them and it is mind boggling that there has been this reaction to it.

Carry on, homebirthing warriors, carry on

[HeatherB]

Very glad that midwifery is (still) legal in Texas! I've been apprenticing with the midwife I used for my 3 home births, and will certainly birth with her again.

[FarmerCathy]

I'm going to live vicariously through you mamas.  I wish I could have a homebirth again, but I am diabetic now and have to have a hospital birth.  I will have a doula and my list of what not to do to my babe while he/she is in the nursery with daddy.  They were really surprised with my no swaddling and bathing rule.  Perplexing. 
 

[quantumleap]

I really, really hope to be a homebirther this time. We'll see, I guess. DD was a transfer, DS was born at home, and now this one... We've lived in a different province for each one, and there is no legal homebirth here. I have friends (midwives and doulas comfortable with UC) who would come, but even though they're all over the place, the closest one is a three hour drive. My labour with DS was 3.5 hours from first contraction to baby, so I'm guessing they wouldn't make it in time, especially if you factor in the good 30-45 minutes of deciding if this is really "it". I do have a completely untrained friend here who is willing to attend, but I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with going it "alone". I'm a former midwifery student, and I really do believe in birth and women's ability to give birth safely, BUT, DS's birth scared me a bit and one or both of us could have been pretty seriously injured without our lovely midwife. Not that this is going to be a repeat, I'm just not sure how I feel about taking on that responsibility. There's time though, to sort it out, hey? ;)

[MyKidKissTrees]

3.5 hours!!!!!  lucky!!!!!  Mine was 8!  You might be one of the few people that wouldn't be totally taken advantage of in a hospital.  show up at 10 cm, push... leave an hour later!  any birthing centers?

I would UC with a doula if i didnt have a history of hemorrhaging. My friend did that and loved her birth!

[mamaki]

I'm planning a midwife home birth. My first was a hospital MW birth. Second hospital OB birth (tho almost unassisted). Third amazing fast home birth. Hoping to repeat that with #4. Last was 45 mins long so if this one is faster it may be unassisted!

[MyKidKissTrees]

OMG! 45 minute homebirth!  What the heck!  Im so flipping jealous!  What a dream!

[quantumleap]

Fast births sound, to those who have never had one, to be a dream, for sure! For some women, I'm sure they are, but in my experience, fast labours/births are actually pretty traumatic. I would do my dd's 20 hour labour over ds's 3.5 hour labour ANY DAY. Just imagine packing all the sensations and emotions of a long labour and birth into a VERY short time frame. It's incredibly difficult (impossible?) to process and stay present within the given time frame! It is over faster, so there's that, I guess. ;) 

We don't have birth centers in our province either, mostly 'cause we don't really have midwives. Minor detail! 

This is such an interesting, introspective process, hey, choosing where/how/with whom to give birth? My blood boils a bit (ok, ok, a lot!) when I think about the fact that many women, including myself, do not have a full range of choices. Hopefully our daughters will have the freedom to make the choices we do not. 

I actually would do a UC/friend attended birth with a history of pp hemorrhage, but only because I can access the drugs used to manage it, am close to the hospital, and could ensure that someone was comfortable with the manual procedures involved. BUT, that's *my* access to resources and *my* comfort level, and we all have different ones!

[mamaki]

Originally Posted by quantumleap 

Fast births sound, to those who have never had one, to be a dream, for sure! For some women, I'm sure they are, but in my experience, fast labours/births are actually pretty traumatic. I would do my dd's 20 hour labour over ds's 3.5 hour labour ANY DAY. Just imagine packing all the sensations and emotions of a long labour and birth into a VERY short time frame. It's incredibly difficult (impossible?) to process and stay present within the given time frame! It is over faster, so there's that, I guess. ;) 

We don't have birth centers in our province either, mostly 'cause we don't really have midwives. Minor detail! 

This is such an interesting, introspective process, hey, choosing where/how/with whom to give birth? My blood boils a bit (ok, ok, a lot!) when I think about the fact that many women, including myself, do not have a full range of choices. Hopefully our daughters will have the freedom to make the choices we do not. 

I actually would do a UC/friend attended birth with a history of pp hemorrhage, but only because I can access the drugs used to manage it, am close to the hospital, and could ensure that someone was comfortable with the manual procedures involved. BUT, that's *my* access to resources and *my* comfort level, and we all have different ones!

My fastest birth was definitely the best.  It was hellishly painful but then they all were and at least it was over quickly.  If I had to choose, I'd definitely go with the fast birth.  I tore with my first (longest labour) but didn't tear with my 2nd or third so even though they were fast they weren't damaging.  After my first I felt like I'd run a marathon.  After my third I felt great, I still had so much energy.  All of my deliveries were natural but I think that if they'd gone longer I could have maybe caved.  Hard to say.

I definitely agree - women should have lots of birth choices - home, birthing centre, hospital or wherever else they feel comfortable!  I LOVE midwives 

Originally Posted by MyKidKissTrees 

OMG! 45 minute homebirth!  What the heck!  Im so flipping jealous!  What a dream!

My births have gotten faster with each one.  My first was 18 hours but she was posterior and I went from 6cm to birth in 3 hours.  My second was 3.5 hours and I had to go to hospital via ambulance as I was home alone so my midwives and ex-husband missed it.  My third was 45 mins so I this one may or may not be shorter.  I'm not really sure how much shorter it can get though!!  I LOVE LOVE LOVED my homebirth.  Aside from labouring and birthing at home, being in your own bed surrounded by your family after the birth = amazing!

[HeatherB]

I get combination labors - very long, slow, and then super fast and intense - all in one! The intensity is so very very hard. My last two were very similar in that regard, so I can only assume this one will be, too. I am hoping, though, that being healthier and taking supps that can help will make it easier.

[incorrigible]

If this one sticks, it will definately be a homebirth. My other 2 were hospital births and were absolutely hellish, due entirely to the "standard procedures" of the hospitals. Ideally, I'd like a completely UP/UC, but am way to paranoid after too many first trimester miscarriages. Once my body gets the hang of putting out all the right hormones, it's smooth sailing. Even after the first trimester, I'll want someone to hold my hand a bit though. The trick will be to find a local midwife that's cool with just offering minimal prenatal care, and not coming over until after the baby is born.  

[LeighPF]

I am excited for a BH this time. I am in Illinois and HB is all above board (but only with nurse midwives) but we have no independent birth centers yet.
Monkey was the best kind of hospital induction one could hope for and Bee was born in the birth tub with a midwife at the hospital birth center. I would have liked to have her at home, but we moved to a new house less than three weeks before she was born and I need to plan.

My midwife has a great rep and is two blocks from my house. I did a consult when we first started ttc and have an apt in two weeks.

My brain is thinking about where I could put a birth tub and if we should upgrade our ancient hot water heater to a tankless one.

[mrsrobertson]

I've had 2 homebirths and my last baby was a hospital birth. I reeeeeeeeeeally disliked my OB and hospital birth. It was a medical neccessacity though and that's why hospitals are there. I'm thankful that we all turned out okay. Hoping to have another homebirth this time. =)

[mellybelly]

I would love to have a HB, but here (in Massachusetts), it's not "legal," so not covered by insurance, and we just can't swing the $3500 or so it costs...  But we're in a sucky situation right now and I was hoping to get advice from you gals.  Last time around, we had a lovely hospital birth at a small hospital with a midwife.  Unfortunately, our insurance doesn't cover that hospital anymore.  Sigh.  Our current (crappy) insurance covers either a major teaching hospital, which is pretty close to us, but which is NOT natural child-birth friendly or a birth center which, on a good day, is about 1/2 hour away, but with traffic could be an hour (or more).

Now, the advantages of the hospital are that the Ob that I would use is lovely and about as supportive of natural child birth as any OB (and more than most!), but we can't be guaranteed to have him attending our delivery.  The hospital is much closer.  If we did this, I would plan to get a doula and head to the hospital only at the 11th hour.  But then I'm worried about all the post-partum "stuff" (are they going to take the baby away right away, etc?)

The advantages of the birth center are obvious to me:  super natural birth friendly, etc.  But the downside is that they have a REALLY high transfer rate.  They also have a practice of routinely breaking your water at 8 cm to see whether there's meconium.  If there is - transfer city.  I have to be honest, the idea of being transferred while in transition seems unappealing.  Sigh.  And also, if anything went wrong, I'm not sure that I would want to be in the hospital that they transfer you to, anyway...  The other downside is, of course, the distance.  I'm a little afraid that I'll end up giving birth in the car, given the speed of my last labor.

So, girls, what do you think?  Close/labor at home until the bitter end/run to hospital to push out baby (and likely run the hell out of there as fast as possible) OR far/high chance of transfer?  (The last little thing is that DH is a scientist and feels MUCH more comfortable with the hospital idea, so there's the "convincing" aspect that I'll need with the birth center, also.)

I'd love any advice!

[Banana731]

HeatherB, hi! How are you?!

Melly, that's a rough situation. I would probably go the BC route and refuse the AROM (and cervical checks in general to avoid possible ROM). It's not your first, if you feel like you can be adadamant about your wishes and that you can stay home until close to the end, there's a good chance your birth won't go too far off the rails as just a matter of hospital/BC policy clashing with your wants. Kwim? But who wants a fight in labor?!

I have had 2 previous HB and this one will be as well, barring some kind of catastrophe. HBMW is not illegal here, though nor is it regulated (MI), the status quo is that it's pretty accepted, especially in my area. I will be with the same MW that attended dd3's birth.

How about a nice moderately paced, not too long or short labor for everyone?

[MyKidKissTrees]

Melly, I would absolutely do the birth center.  No contest.  You could end up with anyone attending your birth at the hospital and it could be a nightmare scenario.  Always outliers, but oh man, its SUCH a crap shoot.  Unless the MWs at the BC aren't jiving with you at all and seem just as medically inclined (which I doubt), then I would definitely do birth center.

There is one over and hour from me and I would TOTALLY go to it if I could, but they don't take VBACs.  I have thought about lying to them...  but yeah, even an hour isnt too far if it means staying out of the hospital!  I just do not want to have to go into my birth ready for battle.  I cannot imagine a more stressful way to birth a baby.  I would only go if I was seriously high risk.

[LeighPF]

I think if your labours are so short that the 11th hour run to the hospital could also = car baby. Plus car rides late in labour, not fun.

I would make a consult apt with the birth center midwife and share your worries. I know that the birth center my second was born at, all the we do this then policies went out the window if you were going really fast because they wanted the baby born in the birth room, not the hall. Great way to get out of the 20 minutes of monitoring (which failed to capture for me, aargh) they required. If I did the birth center, I would still consider a doula as an advocate with a cool head and I would go as soon as you think this is labour. You can always make up your mind in the parking lot when you get there.

[mellybelly]

Well, girls, thanks! Really just the exercise of writing it all down helped me decide on the birth center. I also realized, "Geeze, I'm worried about a wheelchair ride at 8 cm and I'm considering driving to a hospital at the same stage? WTH?!?" So I think we're doing it. I'm going to a "meet the midwives" next week. Looking forward to it! Thanks again!