HOMEBIRTH!!! - Page 3 « Back to Group Discussions

[1love4ever]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Banana731 

kkloep- my first HB was a UBAC. It was great and healing birth, and absolutely the right choice for us.

Emily- ITA. It is worth it for us to pay out of pocket as well. I wish that I had understood that with my first! One of the hardest things to explain to first time moms that I have met who are really dedicated to having a natural birth and want to HB, but have decided not to because the hosp is covered by insurance or because of outside opinions, is how much it matters when it's all said and done. If I could go back in time, I would have had a HB by hook or crook. 

It's one thing if HB is just not for you, I get it. But I have never met a woman who was satisfied with a hospital birth that she just sort of gave into. kwim?

So happy to hear you had a wonderful UBAC :)  I just wanted to comment on the rest of what you said.  That is exactly what has been my experience when I talk to other people I know.  Of EVERY woman that I know who has gone into the hospital with a birth plan, talked to the Dr (or hospital midwife) ahead of time telling them her plans/wishes, and with a husband fully on board with a nautral birth and a few had a doula as well, not a SINGLE woman has had a natural hospital birth that i know.  Not one.  I know its possible, I've seen it here on MDC, but there is a HUGE chance that you will leave feeling very disappointed, and a fair chance you will leave with a C/S!

A few of my friends have said "oh you were right, it was horrible, I should have just paid the midwife!"  Others are still convinced that they "needed" the epidural, or needed the pitocin, etc, because the doctor said that _____ just wasnt right, wasnt moving along quickly enough, etc.  They always say "no, he didnt encourage me to get up and walk to speed things up, he told me to keep laying down or sitting on a ball, etc"  So they get scared into getting pitocin.  then the contractions are so bad that they cave to an epidural.  Then they stop progressing because of the epidural and end up with a C/S.  it's happened to so many of my friends.  Some of them got scared into being induced as well and ended up with C/S.

When you have a "professional" sitting there lecturing you about the well being of your unborn child I can see why women get scared into consenting to these interventions, so my thoughts are just that women need to really educate themselves on the benefits, risks and statitstics of each choice, talk to women who have experience, talk to both providers and ask questions if you are still on the fence.  And in my case it would have been way cheaper for me to have a hospital birth bc thats what my insurance paid for, but I chose home birth.  We gave up our entire income taxes plus almost $1000 out of pocket, but it was worth it.  So try not to make money the deciding factor, unless you absolutely have no other choice/could never afford the midwife.  In that case unassisted birth may be a good option for you as well, depending on your comfort level and all.  I'm not there yet, but maybe some day :)

I had a horrible hospital birth with my first, and a wonderful HB with my 2nd, and planning a HB with the same midwife with this baby!

[mamapigeon]

I'd like to do a homebirth, though DH is a bit nervous about them. With DS, I was induced and fought pitocin for 20 hours before having an epidural, then cesarean. It was a terrible experience and after DH saw how awful it was in the hospital he tentatively agreed to a homebirth... I'm excited!

[Banana731]

That's great mamapigeon! Have him read "Pushed" or watch "the business of being born" if you want to really seal the deal

[1love4ever]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mamapigeon 

I'd like to do a homebirth, though DH is a bit nervous about them. With DS, I was induced and fought pitocin for 20 hours before having an epidural, then cesarean. It was a terrible experience and after DH saw how awful it was in the hospital he tentatively agreed to a homebirth... I'm excited!

My DH was so nervous and doubtful about a HB, and I eventually made him read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.  He thought it was really interesting, loved it, and became a huge home birth advocate!!  I dont know what I would have done if I would have had to spend my entire pregnancy trying to convince him that the HB was the right choice.  He said the choice was mine bc I was the one giving birth, but I think, from my experience, its very important to have DH on board with it as well.  And when you're in labor you dont want a freaking out DH, you want one who can concentrate on you and helping you and who is not preoccupied with worrying about a home birth.  That book helped him know how to help me while in labor too, and gave him a better understanding of what I was going through/what was happening.  Don't get me wrong, he was still freaking out a little bit, but without some preperation I think I would have had to send him outside til it was over    Oh, we also watched The Business of Being Born :)  He liked that one too.  He asked our midwife lots of questions at our prenatal checks, and was very comfortable with her and had trust in her which I know helped a lot too.

I'm sorry about your first birth experiece, how traumatic!  I hope you can have a healing, wonderful home birth!

[sionne]

Hi all!  I'm new--first time mama, 8 weeks along and planning a home birth!  Technically due at the tail end of july but I just have the feeling we'll be going into august....

I'm a DONA doula candidate, natural builder and a future stay at home mom/homeschool/community school teacher

Husband and I are planning to exclusively cloth diaper and attempt elimination communication methods.  We also are planning on breast feeding and baby wearing!

hello all!
 

[Banana731]

Hi!

[LeighPF]

Hi Sionne,

We will have to have a newborn cloth diaper thread before we are done.

I did have one of those totally natural hospital births with Bee (the birth center was two rooms on the L&D floor, but had given the whole place a great education and attitude).

First midwife visit tomorrow. Lots of fun since 19 month old Bee is coming too.

[mamapigeon]

Originally Posted by 1love4ever 

Quote:

My DH was so nervous and doubtful about a HB, and I eventually made him read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.  He thought it was really interesting, loved it, and became a huge home birth advocate!!  I dont know what I would have done if I would have had to spend my entire pregnancy trying to convince him that the HB was the right choice.  He said the choice was mine bc I was the one giving birth, but I think, from my experience, its very important to have DH on board with it as well.  And when you're in labor you dont want a freaking out DH, you want one who can concentrate on you and helping you and who is not preoccupied with worrying about a home birth.  That book helped him know how to help me while in labor too, and gave him a better understanding of what I was going through/what was happening.  Don't get me wrong, he was still freaking out a little bit, but without some preperation I think I would have had to send him outside til it was over    Oh, we also watched The Business of Being Born :)  He liked that one too.  He asked our midwife lots of questions at our prenatal checks, and was very comfortable with her and had trust in her which I know helped a lot too.

I'm sorry about your first birth experiece, how traumatic!  I hope you can have a healing, wonderful home birth!

Thanks! I will have to read Guide to Childbirth and then pass it along to DH. I'm thinking a few birth videos ought to do the trick too!  I'm glad your DH got on board with homebirth! Do you think he'll have any nervousness this time?

Originally Posted by Banana731 

That's great mamapigeon! Have him read "Pushed" or watch "the business of being born" if you want to really seal the deal

Great advice! Thanks for sharing.

[AUvetmom]

Hi fellow home birthers! I had an attempted home birth that ended in an emergency transfer. All ended well but needless to say, I'm hoping to be able to stay home this time! Happily, I was still able to give birth vaginally, so no worries about vbac. I'm excited to get the chance at the gentle birth I was hoping for last time.

[kkloep]

I really should have done something.  At the time I was suffering from some pretty bad PPD.  Unfortunately I believe the statute of limitations has run out for my small claim :(.  They could still prosecute her for the insurance fraud but no one is interested in that.  At the time it wasn't worth it to me due to my mental state.  In hindsight, I should have figured it out.  I can only hope she just stays out of midwifery and she doesn't have the opportunity to do it to another family.

[Banana731]

I've attended and know plenty of women who have had a natural hospital birth. It seems to me that by the 3rd baby, if you know what you want and your firm about it, you're probably okay in the hospital. I don't worry that those moms will end up with an unnecessary c/s, or with an epi if they don't want one. Having a doula helps hospital birthing moms A LOT. I wish that all first time moms choosing a hospital would get one. I wish hospitals would provide one!

It just seems as though it is really difficult to avoid things like constant monitoring and tons of VEs, and limitations on birthing positions. Those things make it really hard to get through labor on your own devices- and tend to lead to more interventions when birth doesn't progress quickly.

Women who have "settled" for a hospital birth are usually looking for more than just a med free birth. They are usually seeking a normal birth, which is more than just birth without pain killers- and it's just not possible in a hospital environment.

So even when that mom has a good birth in the hospital, she's unhappy with a lot of what took place. Childbirth affects us for long after it's over. It's a bummer when that memory is made less joyful by unneeded and unwanted meddling during birth.

[somegirl99]

moving comments to natural non-homebirth thread.

[emily11megan]

Anyone have success with Hypnobabies/birthing?  I bellowed and was a little crazed during my first two births, and although things went FAST and smoothly (health-wise), I'd like to be more relaxed and present in the process this time.  What did you do to stay calm?
 

[AUvetmom]

We used the Bradley method and it worked well for us. Of course I was by no means quiet. And I was only crazed during my 2hr transition. Who can really blame me on that one though.

[GISDiva]

The class we took was Bradley centered, but she also brought in aspects of other techniques, including techniques from Hypnobirthing, meditation, etc.  It was nice the way she did it because it gave you a bunch of tools to use rather than just focusing on one.  Especially back then, since it was our first, we really didn't know how it was going to be and what would resonate in the moment.  I think the most important lesson she taught us is to let your body tell your mind what to do rather than the other way around.  :)

I'd say read up on it, pick and choose what you think might work for you and look at other things as well.  I am always dubious of claims of "this is the right way to do it", but certainly there are helpful and useful techniques in their program!

[LeighPF]

Just got back from my first midwife visit. Wonderful. Now looking up supplies and deciding about tubs (they rent the pool in a box for $200).

I asked on the main HB thread, but does anyone have experience paying for HB supplies with a HSA?

[namastesista]

Hey mamas! I'm due August 5th with baby #2 and am planning a HB. So excited! DS was born naturally at a free standing birth center in Phoenix with a LM and it was a beautiful experience that gave me the confidence I needed to go HB this time.

Prior to my pregnancy with DS, I did have two first trimester miscarriages, so hoping this one ends in a live baby also. We did see our Little Critter with a strong heartbeat at 6w1d, so we're keeping our fingers crossed. :-)

We just finished interviewing or 5th midwife yesterday (5th times a charm) and have opted to go with a CNM, which I'm feeling really good about.

Really really excited about this journey with all the other mamas out there!
Edited by namastesista - 12/19/12 at 6:40pm

[AUvetmom]

We are using the same midwives we used last time. They recently opened a lovely birth center with great rooms and big tubs. However, it's about an hour from home (not really interested in a drive in labor) and in case of transfer, I'd like to go back to the hospital by my house. Last labor, when we transferred, the nurses were really great (incl one who had had a home birth) and they were very respectful of both our birth choices and our parenting choices. I've heard less than stellar things about the hosp we'd transfer to from the birth center. So we've decided to stay home. Much to the chagrin of my surgeon sister. :-) I think she'd much prefer I have a schedule c-section. I love my sis dearly but I am dreading the day she decides to have a baby. I am not going to have fun watching her birth choices. :-P

[MyKidKissTrees]

Originally Posted by kkloep 

Where she moved CPM's are not licensed, so hopefully she decides to just move on to something else.  The most unsettling part of it all is she was financially ripping off families, but she was extremely wealthy.  I guess maybe that is where she got her wealth from :/

If she moved to Maryland can you PM me her name?  I REALLY don't want to deal with crazy!!!

[kkloep]

Originally Posted by MyKidKissTrees 

If she moved to Maryland can you PM me her name?  I REALLY don't want to deal with crazy!!!

haha, no she didn't move to Maryland.  I am pretty sure she moved to Illinois, from word of mouth.  You are safe in Maryland!