Where to live?- gay family friendly and low col?

[mumm]

Is it even possible to have a really low col and be gay family friendly?

We could live anywhere in the us beause I don't work and dp is a pilot and commutes to work.  We've basically always lived in massachusettes and I assume the whole world is like it is here(ie, plenty of other gay families, never been an issue to our face, etc).  Dp (who spends 5 nights a week in different cities) tells me I have no clue.  We've been in the same town for 14 years (11 years in the house before this one just 50 minutes away!)  and I might just be dreaming that we could even possibly think of moving.  But then I see people living in 2000sf homes that cost less than a 950k and start to think.........

So where would you go if jobs and family didn't hold you back?  (If you want more parameters think low 6 figure income, airports with easy connections to chicago, dfw and jfk, outdoorsy, active people and decent places for trail running, skiing, etc.  But you can just skip those if you want to dream along with me and want museums, art or fine dining!)

[philomom]

Decatur, Ga was extremely lesbian friendly. It's the home of the Indigo Girls and many of the parents where my kids went to elm. school had two moms. It was no big deal and even "celebrated". The downside is that it is a blue spot in a very red state.


Portland, Or. where I'm living now seems to also be very gay friendly.

[Adaline'sMama]

Louisville, KY 

Athens, GA

Bloomington, IN

All have fairly low COL, and I know tons of very happy queer couples that live there with kids. 

[34me]

Colorado is not LOW cost of living but many parts are medium-ish and you could easily get you biggish house on that salary and there is everything else you seem to be looking for. And DIA is a hub for a couple of the big airlines.

[dogmom327]

I'm from Portland, OR and it is very gay friendly. It's a lovely place to live (if you don't mind rain and overcast weather). Cost of living is relative. A typical middle-class house will run you $200k-$300k so very affordable compared to many places but still spendy compared to others :)

[JennJenn84]

I love about 2 he's from Louisville and recommend it! Definitely gay friendly and it has a major airport and close to many fun things!

[CascadiaMama]

Another vote for PDX. Also check out Minneapolis-St Paul. A little more centrally located, but very family and gay friendly. That's my hometown, PDX is our chosen home.

[Sphinxy]

Not sure what part of Mass you've been in, but many of the more rural towns of Western Massachusetts seem to fit your description. I'm thinking parts of Berkshire, Franklin, and Hampshire counties. If you stay close to I-91 or I-90, it's a pretty easy commute to airports in Hartford, CT or Albany, NY.

[KnittingTigers]

We lived in Providence, RI for seven years and loved it. I still miss it. The laws are not quite as awesome as Mass, but they are much better than many other places in terms of LGBT stuff, and the cost of living is way lower. Lots of gay families, and lots of crunchy families too. The downside is the public schools, which are not fabulous unless you're in the 'burbs. If that's not an issue for you (homeschooling, private, etc.), you might consider it. And, you'd still be close to your Mass connections, and can fly out of PVD.

[prettyisa]

Why not just Chicago? It's queer friendly, a big city, cheaper than where you're at (like, WAY cheaper) and very convenient for travel (especially to chicago...). Plus our laws don't suck, and there's a wide range of urban/suburban/rural possibility within driving distance from major airports. If laws were no object, Milwaukee is one of my favorite cities, and Columbus is supposed to have an excellent queer scene.

[Sharlla]

Springfield is a pretty (fairly liberal for being in the "bible belt'") college town with a 160K population. we are 8 hours driving from chicago (we make the trio twice a year or so) we have an airport, a great trail system through town and is very gay friendly.  I really like it here and housing is very affordable (we bought our house for 50K)
 

http://www.city-data.com/city/Springfield-Missouri.html

[outdoorsy]

I bet you could move to a different town in Mass and pay *way* less than the home price you mentioned. But you'd be at least an hour outside Boston.

[pokeyAC]

I don't have anything to recommend as I am crazy enough to live in the Bay Area where the COL is ridiculous, but it's super queer-friendly. I wanted to add to the Columbus comment. I grew up there. I moved away at 24 so I don't know what it is like to be an adult with a family there. There is a great queer scene and I know several people who are raising families there. The COL is very reasonable, and there are great neighborhoods where you could live. There are great colleges and universities and an airport. However, the laws there suck. There is a constitutional amendment against recognizing any sort of same-sex relationship including domestic partnerships and civil unions. They also do not allow second-parent adoption, so if you plan on having more children, that should be a consideration.

[mumm]

I could easily waste a week checking out all the places listed!

 

Originally Posted by pokeyAC 

I don't have anything to recommend as I am crazy enough to live in the Bay Area where the COL is ridiculous, but it's super queer-friendly. I wanted to add to the Columbus comment. I grew up there. I moved away at 24 so I don't know what it is like to be an adult with a family there. There is a great queer scene and I know several people who are raising families there. The COL is very reasonable, and there are great neighborhoods where you could live. There are great colleges and universities and an airport. However, the laws there suck. There is a constitutional amendment against recognizing any sort of same-sex relationship including domestic partnerships and civil unions. They also do not allow second-parent adoption, so if you plan on having more children, that should be a consideration.

We spent the summerof 2011 in CA, with several weeks spent in SF.  The cost of living in SF (according to sieply (sp?) is 1% lower than my town.  Housing cost were a bit higher, but healthcare, food, utlities were much lower.  Of course I don't know the different areas at all.  We might spend 5 weeks there next july/august it was so beautiful!   And more kids??? Hello?!!  I'm way overwhelmed with the 4 I have!!

Originally Posted by Sphinxy 

Not sure what part of Mass you've been in, but many of the more rural towns of Western Massachusetts seem to fit your description. I'm thinking parts of Berkshire, Franklin, and Hampshire counties. If you stay close to I-91 or I-90, it's a pretty easy commute to airports in Hartford, CT or Albany, NY.

I love the berkshires!  The commute just becomes too long since hartford and albany airports aren't big enough to have enough flights/empty seats to be reliable.  And, if I'm honest, Northampton area might be a little (a lot?) too liberal for me!

[mrsandmrs]

I live in Washington. West of the cascades is pretty gay friendly, although some of the smaller towns are not. Seattle does not have a "low" COL but it is very family and queer friendly. I don't know how it compares to where you live, but I do know middle class people who own 2000SF houses in Seattle. We don't just have legal gay marriage here, we have gay marriage affirmed by the legislature, the governor and the voting public. Portland is lovely too, and cheaper than Seattle. I live in neither, but visit both frequently. Of course, there is rain for several months of the year, but it's a reasonable trade-off for the rainforest. I think of the rain as a convenient benefit that keeps us from becoming overpopulated. 

[Sharlla]

I use to live near Seattle, very beautiful up there if you dont mind the rain.  we moved here in 2004 because we really wanted to own a home
 

[mamarhu]

I second (or 3rd or 4th) the vote for Portland. COL is moderate, queer friendly, the beach is 2 hours west, and skiing is 2 hours east. Nearer, much wilderness/forest/rivers to explore. Access to respectable museums and theater, driving distance to Seattle for more. No sales tax. We drink GREAT tap water, and all gas stations pump your gas for you. Really good public transit. Crunchy enough, and open to homeschooling. Oh, I could go on and on.
 

[loveandgarbage]

Just wanted to suggest my town, Madison, WI. Gay family friendly and somewhat low COL. For instance you can get a very decent house on the East side (the cool side ) for 200-300K. Less even if you don't mind a smaller two bedroom. We are about 2.5 hrs from Chicago, and just over an hour from Milwaukee which I know is an airport hub, too.

[CocoBird]

Yes, Portland is awesome. If you don't want to live in a big city, though, Eugene, Oregon is pretty freaking rad, too. 2 hours away from Portland, 1 hour away from the coast, beautiful hiking around the rivers and buttes and forests, and not too small--100,000 population. SUPER queer friendly. I know lots of queer families here. In fact, it's friendly all-around. Lots of unique individuals, people from the midwest call us all hippies. Lots of outdoors stuff to do. And Eugene is a university town (U of O) so there are lots of cool events happening all the time as well! One thing I will say about the northwest, though, after moving here from the midwest-it is very white! Definite racism in some of the rural areas, but not so much in the cool cities like Portland and Eugene.

[Sharlla]

I grew up in the Oregon coast near Eugene, its a great city, love it