Real life with a newborn a preschooler and a school aged child - babymoon; HA? « Back to Group Discussions

[Michelle Renee]

I have a question for Momma's who have been there done that... or others moms who are planning ahead..

I have a 6 year old in first grade and a 4 year old in M,T,W,R  1/2 day preschool.  Both schools are 25 minutes apart.  Currently I take both girls to school and pick them up.  I also take the little one to physical therapy.    We are pretty isolated for various reasons (to ask other moms for help)  and I am a car seat _freak_ so carpooling is not really an option.  Neither of the schools are neighborhood schools and were handpicked to meet the girls needs.  Oldest is a touch aspie and the youngest has mild cerebral palsy.   

Anyone think a true babymoon is out of the question?  Life moves on ya'know?  The girls have swim classes and dance classes on Monday and Tuesday.  Due to DH's job and other reasons, he isn't going to be able to take the kids to school.  I think he will do dance/swim for a week or two but that is about it.

We do have a Nanny two mornings a week for 2-3 hours to help offset the demands of DH's job and the extra stress of the girls needs but financially we can't do more than 2 mornings a week.

It was different when I had one and she was a toddler but now they both are in school. 

I imagine the first 1-2 weeks we will have some support from family and hopefully after that I will be on my feet (scheduled c-section).  So what are you Mom's planning who have school aged children with a newborn?

[Chloe'sMama]

Well, I am in a different situation, both my girls are at home full time with me and I do have family and DH to stay home with me for a few weeks.

If I was you, I would take the girls out of school and the activities for the 1-2 weeks you want to baby moon.  You could talk to the teachers ahead of time and get the work to you.

DD1 is in speech one time a week and each are in gymnastics one day a week and even with the help, I am going to pull them out for at least 2 weeks for the germ factor.  

I don't know if you can get a true babymoon with the girls alone with you, but at least you won't have to get out of bed early to get them to class every day.

Just my 2 cents.

[sweetestday]

Homeschooling mom of a 8, 6, 4 and 1yo. I don't take baby moons. :) My MIL does come to help out for a week, though, and my family lives close by and helps a lot, too.  I pretty much can't stand staying in bed, so get up and back to work on stuff a couple days after birth.

[LadyCatherine185]

I agree about taking them out of their activities for a week or two after baby is born.. especially if you are having a C section.

I have a 4 year old and 2 year old who are at home with me full-time as well (we are also planning to homeschool), but DH will be taking off the first week after baby is born and MIL has offered to help out some (and she lives around the corner). I don't know that I will be getting a "babymoon" but I definitely will be taking any chance I get to rest and bond with baby those first few weeks.. DS2 is very attached to me still so I see lots of time snuggling the new baby and my 2 year old watching movies on the couch.. I also plan in investing in a good sling and wrap carrier so that if I do need to/want to get up and do something baby will be snug and comfy on me. :)

[etsdtm99]

my kids are 2, 4 and 6  - we homeschool so that simplifies things a bit - but my plan is to not take them to anything MYSELF for at least 2 weeks, if that means canceling all their activities, so be it, but i recently bought car seats for my my mom's car so my 4 & 6 yr old can ride with her (and i can install the seats before baby) so i'm hoping it will work out and she or DH will take them to everything and we won't have to cancel..(they have classes and activities usually 3+ days a week)  the issue is in the first week (or week and a half) i don't want to be home alone with my 2 yr old either..(i'd rather have my other kids here to entertain her and get things for her than be here alone with a newborn and a 2 yr old)    I am planning a homebirth,  but i have to plan for a 1-2+ week recovery because I usually tear pretty badly and with 2 of the other kids I just couldn't be on my feet for longer than it took to go to the bathroom for at least 10 days..
 

Can you arrange things so when you have help from family you don't have the nanny come, and save up those days to have her for a whole week or two after the family help dies down?  (i realize that might be tricky because she probably has other jobs)  for the carseat issues, if anyone was willing to take the kids to school/pick them up maybe you could just let them borrow your vehicle ? you won't need it if you're home with baby..  its a lot of planning/logistics but it would be worth it to get 2-4 weeks with help ..

[loveandgarbage]

Michelle Renee we have almost the exact same schedule. My 6 yr old is in 1st grade and goes to public school full-time and my 4 yr old is in the public 4K program which is only 3 hrs in the afternoon 4 days a week. We are lucky to have a good support system for when the baby is born. We have a loose child-care swap system with a couple of close families (who also go to the same school which is convenient for pick-ups) and my mom is moving here next week and only working part-time so she'll be around, too! This will be the most help I've ever had after having a baby.

Honestly I'd rather have my kids in school right after the baby's born so that I can have some good mama and baby bonding time. But if I had to drive my kids to school and pick them up every day? That's a tough call. I would also cut-out extra activities for a week or two. Could you possibly work it into your budget to have the nanny be around more for say two weeks after the birth? My DH also has a busy work schedule and I am praying that he's able to take a full week off when the baby is here.

[Michelle Renee]

Originally Posted by loveandgarbage 

Michelle Renee we have almost the exact same schedule. My 6 yr old is in 1st grade and goes to public school full-time and my 4 yr old is in the public 4K program which is only 3 hrs in the afternoon 4 days a week. We are lucky to have a good support system for when the baby is born. We have a loose child-care swap system with a couple of close families (who also go to the same school which is convenient for pick-ups) and my mom is moving here next week and only working part-time so she'll be around, too! This will be the most help I've ever had after having a baby.

Honestly I'd rather have my kids in school right after the baby's born so that I can have some good mama and baby bonding time. But if I had to drive my kids to school and pick them up every day? That's a tough call. I would also cut-out extra activities for a week or two. Could you possibly work it into your budget to have the nanny be around more for say two weeks after the birth? My DH also has a busy work schedule and I am praying that he's able to take a full week off when the baby is here.

If my girls were home - it would drive me NUTS.  Especially my aspie first grader. I can hear it now "Mom it is Tuesday. Tuesday is Library Day. Mom can we go to the library. MOm it is Wednesday. Wednesday is gym day.", etc etc.  A major change in routine for them and less activity - ouch.  Life is very structured around here for my daughters sake.

DH may work from home but sometimes it is easier to have him at work.  I love him dearly and sometimes it is one more person to keep an eye on or to referee with the girls.   DH doesn't know the girls routines/ins and outs of everyday life and throwing him into that just is a meltdown waiting to happen.   I can hear it now "Mom says this is how we get ready" and him getting frazzled.  

My little one's preschool has a childcare option and I am pondering putting her in school full time for 2 weeks after the baby.  Im not sure how I would swing it financially but I could prolly get DH to grab her on the way home from work and I would only have to pick my oldest up from school.  Oldest is easy , if I talk to the school, I can have an older student walk her to the car but my youngest you have to go in and sign her in and out.

I think I am just starting to work out little details in my head.  I will have my Mom around too and my Mother in law in some way shape or form, I just have never dealt with school aged kids and a newborn.

[HouseofPeace]

wow!

lots of mamas at home!

we're highly structured- and do out of home shared homeschooling 3 days a week.  We'll be transferring that to my house post baby.  husband will work from home for a week ideally, possibly 2, and my sister-in-law may come out.

i usually am up every afternoon just b/c making sourdough, unloading dishes, planning meals for the next day, but majorly reduced from my normal work routine.  i don't do laundry (and have a plan for it), have taught the kids where things go (b/c my darling husband is a space cadet on that!).  We've done the last 2 w/out much help, but we prepared emotionally and asked for help from our church community on laundry and hanging out w/ kids.

our weekly schedule is so routine that anyone can step in and follow what the kids suggest (we don't currently have a second car so that keeps things simpler as i can't take them anywhere most weekdays anyways).  breakfast is at 8am, cleaning up playroom, getting dressed, making beds, and reading and doing schoolwork and projects is from 9:30-12:30, snack/lunch, naptime/quiet time is from 1-3, then usually playdates, or chores happen from 3-5, dinner from 5:30-6:30ish, and playtime and pj's and bedtime is 7:30.  i'm pretty rigid on the routine, and they all love it even if they holler about bedtime every night.  we accomplish a lot and have lots of room for friends, adventures, and fun.  

i plan on taking 2 weeks to lay around as much as  i want and heal, and then i'll be hitting the ground running b/c knowing my husband and kids, that's gonna be all they can handle!!!  might have mother-in-law or sister-in-law at some point, but not really planning on it!