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Mothering › Groups › July 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Telling my step-daughters = Nervous.

Telling my step-daughters = Nervous.

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 

So today the plan is to tell our step-daughters that I'm pregnant.


Truthfully, I'm worried about how it will be for them.


We had been getting along wonderfully, until a few weeks ago when Severin told them (Libby: almost 13 and Sunny: 21), "Christine is the best wife ever!"


Which, while I appreciate the compliment, I think it re-introduced competition in our relationship. Especially that Libby said, "Except for my mom, right?"


What makes matters more difficult, is that Severin is NOT Libby and Sunny's biological father, he met them when they were 2 and 10, and dated their mom for 4 years. They were never married.


So, I feel like to Libby's "survival mode" she's already been dethroned by me. In the last three weeks she's been defensive/offensive.


And now, this is Severin's first biological child, and--as an adult, I'm clear that families are born of love, and that we are just adding to the possible love we now have as a family--but I'm worried that our announcement is going to have a further dethrone Libby--at least to her "inner cave woman" that seeks out surviving.


Thoughts? advice? I welcome any feedback!


Love, Christine

post #2 of 4

I have no advice, just prayers. 


Thoughts: Libby is 13. Rough age. Rough situation. It won't be pretty but it is not the end of the world. I am sure she will be happy to have her sister/brother once they come! Just my thoughts on the subject. Maybe have Severin explain that this baby will be loved just like she is and things like that. Him explaining it might be more concrete to her... again, just thoughts, definitely not advice wink1.gif



post #3 of 4
I hope this conversation has happened and it went really well smile.gif. I think the fact that you are approaching it with so much care and compassion demonstrates how lovely your heart is. I think that you just need to know that any adverse reaction is more than likely based on fear and vulnerability as opposed to any animosity toward you. Hugs, mama.
post #4 of 4
Oh hugs to you! I definitely understand being nervous to tell kids, although for different reasons. I agree that your approach with compassion can only help. I sure hope that she can see the love you guys obviously have for her and that a new sibling will just add to that!
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