My 5 yo DD has a really hard time with anything that could be considered a treat. This could mean edible treats (candy, cookies, etc), a television show/movie, specific play time plans, etc. Anything that is deemed special.
She does this with tv. She does it with one-on-one time with me-we have 15ish minutes of Mommy-Lorien time every day, and this is never enough and every time it ends it is awful. Crying, whining, screaming. She does this when playing and then leaving friends houses. She is still nursing, and she does it about that, too (which is one of the hardest ones to deal with because I don't want our nursing relationship to have any negativity associated with it- I want that to be a safe place for her). She does it if we have candy or other treat type things in the house.
I have tried cutting some of these things out all together (edible treats and tv) and that did seem to help. However, that is not really a plausible long-term solution, especially since many of the things that cause problems are not things I would WANT to take away. I also don't like that "I AM IN CONTROL OF YOU" attitude that seems to be taking over my body when I am frustrated that she is AGAIN throwing a FIT while leaving a friends house, or to nurse or...
We have tried setting reasonable limits:
"You can have ginky (what they call nursing) at home, as often as you like. However, my body is part of this equation and I need you to be able to respect my choice to say no sometimes." I rarely say I can't...but if I do- oh boy! She threw a fit at my dad's house in front of tons of people because she wanted to nurse.
"One TV show per day." As soon as that one is over, she cries. She begs for more.
"Finish up your current activity, and then we have to head home for dinner." She agrees, finishes what she is doing, helps clean up and then LOSES it.
I have thought about just letting her have as much as she wants (namely in regards to TV and edible treats) and let her make the decision and "burn out" on those things. BUT, I have a 2 year old as well who doesn't have this problem, and I just can't expose him to tons and tons of TV, etc. Plus, there are other people involved in some of these issues and I need to help her understand how to respect that.