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[dayiscoming2006]

Originally Posted by presslermom 

Late stepping in, but I'm feeling discouraged at this point. DD #3 was a uc water birth but it didn't make the hubs very comfortable and he ended up making us go to the hospital at 24 hrs to get checked out. I get it, he's a nervous person. So DD #4 we hired a midwife....wonderful for pretty much all aspects...except that she got a little more involved at the end than I would've liked and we can't really afford to pay that out of pocket again this round. So, here I sit, praying for a call from an RN who has magically gotten approval from Tricare to attend homebirth saying she can take me on and it'll only cost me maybe $1K. Otherwise, I'll have to give birth in a hospital again. I don't know if I'm mentally prepared for that. I know I can stand up for myself better, but there are so many little things, like taking home my placenta. Ugh!

ok, rant over...I LOVED my birth pool...and used it for both of my last births. I got in probably right before transition (if I had to guess) and birthed both babes in the water. It was lovely. Probably the best part for me is not feeling the yuck on me right after birth...and going straight into a clean bath tub after. I ate lots of high protein foods before during and after...although there wasn't as much time as it seems ;). Eggs, bolt house farms protein drinks, avocados and lots of fruit!

trying to think of what else is relevant...

Hmm... if you can't get someone to attend you at home, is UC still something you guys are considering? I can't blame you if you didn't want to go that route again. UC is a bit of a leap of faith, even though it's very likely everything would be OK. I don't know if I could do it again. I chose UC last time because I wanted a homebirth very badly and I couldn't afford the midwife.

Otherwise, are there hospital midwives or a more natural birth friendly OB that you could find that would be covered? I too would have a really tough time going back to a hospital birth. So, I understand you.

[presslermom]

I would UC again in a heartbeat, but I really want my hubs to be at ease and we now live at least 45 minutes to the closest hospital. There are some good OBs that I've heard of, but you're right going back to the hospital after the comforts of staying home is just difficult :/

[shanna-cat]

I have a really hard time 'planning' what to do in labor or early labor. I have never written a birhting plan or had a doula to help advocate for me- it honestly just seemed redundant for me because i had total trust and faith in all the friends and family around me that they knew what i would want/need in the case where someone would need to advocate for me. i guess i just never worried about it at all.

as far as planning what to do in early labor everyones ideas and thoughts sound lovely but i find myself laughing at even the idea of having a plan in place. With my first I went through much of beginning labor in the car on the way home from the coast (about 3.5 hours). it was night and just me and DH. It was great, I loved the movement of the car and was so at peace with myself. for every contraction i just leaned back in my chair and pictured beautiful flowers opening up as i relaxed my body. we put on soothing music and laughed and talked on the way home. we were even joking around about me having to run (waddle?) between contractions into a convienence store to pee.

when i got home (actually to my moms house where i birthed) it was the middle of the night and after calling friends/family to let them know i was in labor everyone went to bed except me of course who couldn't sleep. i never checked myself but i'm guessing i was around 4 or 5 cm at this point- no mw's yet. this was the most difficult time of labor for me and i'm honestly glad no one was around to be there with me (well they were but all asleep, even dh). each contraction i would either puke or have diarrhea for about 2 hours. I couldn't even imagine if i would have planned to have done something during this part!

For ds 2 i had an extrememly short, unplanned UC birth where my mom and dh were the only people there. my entire labor was only 29 min from the moment I woke up (again in the middle of the night) until i was holding him. it was surreal and honestly a little TOO fast for me.

So, I am not trying to disrespect anyones thoughts or ideals about labor plans but i guess 'making plans' really isnt' for me. i'm more of a just go with the flow kinda gal. i will have food ideas in case i do end up having a longer labor and plenty of people around to help out with my two boys.

Oh, and just because it's been talked about recently I had both my kids around 4am and am hoping for another night birth. both times we 'self induced' by not having sex for about 2 weeks and then going at it like crazy the evening before labor began. i guess after two weeks of abstenance all the action spurred me into labor. Hoping for another happy and enjoyable self inducing labor. but who knows- we'll see i guess.

[amlikam]

Originally Posted by shanna-cat 

I have a really hard time 'planning' what to do in labor or early labor. I have never written a birhting plan or had a doula to help advocate for me- it honestly just seemed redundant for me because i had total trust and faith in all the friends and family around me that they knew what i would want/need in the case where someone would need to advocate for me. i guess i just never worried about it at all.

as far as planning what to do in early labor everyones ideas and thoughts sound lovely but i find myself laughing at even the idea of having a plan in place. With my first I went through much of beginning labor in the car on the way home from the coast (about 3.5 hours). it was night and just me and DH. It was great, I loved the movement of the car and was so at peace with myself. for every contraction i just leaned back in my chair and pictured beautiful flowers opening up as i relaxed my body. we put on soothing music and laughed and talked on the way home. we were even joking around about me having to run (waddle?) between contractions into a convienence store to pee.

when i got home (actually to my moms house where i birthed) it was the middle of the night and after calling friends/family to let them know i was in labor everyone went to bed except me of course who couldn't sleep. i never checked myself but i'm guessing i was around 4 or 5 cm at this point- no mw's yet. this was the most difficult time of labor for me and i'm honestly glad no one was around to be there with me (well they were but all asleep, even dh). each contraction i would either puke or have diarrhea for about 2 hours. I couldn't even imagine if i would have planned to have done something during this part!

For ds 2 i had an extrememly short, unplanned UC birth where my mom and dh were the only people there. my entire labor was only 29 min from the moment I woke up (again in the middle of the night) until i was holding him. it was surreal and honestly a little TOO fast for me.

So, I am not trying to disrespect anyones thoughts or ideals about labor plans but i guess 'making plans' really isnt' for me. i'm more of a just go with the flow kinda gal. i will have food ideas in case i do end up having a longer labor and plenty of people around to help out with my two boys.

Oh, and just because it's been talked about recently I had both my kids around 4am and am hoping for another night birth. both times we 'self induced' by not having sex for about 2 weeks and then going at it like crazy the evening before labor began. i guess after two weeks of abstenance all the action spurred me into labor. Hoping for another happy and enjoyable self inducing labor. but who knows- we'll see i guess.

They all sound so lovely. Especially your ride home in the car (who would have thought the car could be so calming. though I can see that after you describe it! I remember reading your story on another thread too) I love the vision of a late drive and the calmness about it all.

I suppose for me the plan is more in place of possibilities. I know I will want to be by myself some but also know my house is so tiny, so we will see. The only thing I really want at this birth is time to be with myself to connect with my body and the process. But I am open to how it plays out in its own time. I think a plan can be a good way to diffuse some nervous energy, but I suppose when the plan blocks the process it can be counter productive. I've been to enough births to know the process is not always what one hopes for. I was at my childbirth preparedness class this week and our child care fell through so DH was unable to make it. It was the class we did different positions and support techniques. For a bit I was a little sad because DH wasn't with me and everyone else had their support person. However once we were going I really felt so empowered being there by myself. It was a reminder that my babe is my first partner in the birth dance, and all I need is within myself. And how fortunate that I DO have an incredible team in place to support me.

However I am a dreamer so I love to dream about the many possibilities that birth could look like. Sometimes they will be very big dreams and that feels good to me too.

[MarleneCPM]

Cuia, Can't you go birth at Maternidad La Luz?
 

[sky_and_lavender]

Was wondering if any of you have had experience having your young children (my daughter will be 3.75 yo) present for the actual birth. I want her to experience that birth is natural and normal, but I'm not sure if it would be traumatic for her to see all the bloody, messy stuff of her mama giving birth. Last year she seriously injured her finger and it involved a lot of blood, so she knows that blood can be scary. Also, if it is all happening at night, should we wake her up?  It could be something she could remember for the rest of her life, but I want her to remember it fondly and not with fear. Of course we can't control that, and I don't want to expose her to something that is too much for her. It is important to me that my husband be present to help me catch the baby, and we will have a close friend in the house assigned to care for our daughter, and who could be in the room with us or not, according to our daughter's needs. But what if she gets upset and begs for her father to hold her and remove her from the room just as the baby is being born? Should I just be ready to do it alone? Also, how can I help her understand ahead of time what birth is about without being overly didactic or literal?

I know there are other places on mothering where this has been discussed, but I was wondering if any of you have insights on this! Thank you!

[womenswisdom]

My son had just turned 3 when my daughter was born at home. He woke up about 20 minutes before she was born and his biggest concern was not being able to hear the tv show the doula flipped on for him to keep him occupied for those last minutes. Didn't faze him whatsoever.

I have also attended lots of births with young siblings and not a single one freaked out. Sometimes they didn't want to be in the room, but mostly they just took their cues from everyone else in the room and stayed calm and matter-of-fact about it all. If everyone around them is acting like everything is fine, chances are they will too.

[dayiscoming2006]

^ Yeah, my kids kinda knew what to expect from seeing a few birth videos and me explaining it to them. When the time came it was no big deal at all and I think they watched me push her out and the oldest (4 at the time) thought it was very interesting. He still will describe it to me. They did life as usual until we called them over when I was pushing. I feel they will handle it very well again this time. I'm not concerned at all.

Edited by dayiscoming2006 - 3/10/13 at 4:55pm

[sky_and_lavender]

Thank you guys for your words of wisdom. Really helped put the scenario into perspective!
 

[sky_and_lavender]

Where in your house do you plan to give birth?

My prior homebirth, I put the birth tub in the living room and gave birth in the guest bedroom instead of our regular bedroom, but I've been thinking about Ina May and Odent's points about how important it can be to have a private feeling safe space. So I think this time I'm going to try to get the birth tub (which I plan to use only for labor) in our family bedroom, and to give birth in the bedroom. I think it will be a good way to get more private time with my husband and let me focus and be relaxed. My doula said she felt that births worked well when there was a kind of birth nest or birth cave. So that's what I'm aiming for. Not that I can't walk around all I want, wherever I want, but I'll have a place to retire to. My room is pretty spare and undecorated. I'd like to give it some warmth and more comforting qualities, but I'm not sure how I will do that... Of course, who knows, maybe I'll end up in the bathroom or in the backyard or something. Who knows! Birth is such a mystery!

[dayiscoming2006]

I am thinking to have a birth tub in the dining room. Space is an issue and we don't have spare bedrooms. LOL My midwife has one and said I just need to get a liner for it. 
I'm not sure if I'd like delivering in the tub, but maybe laboring in there some could be nice. Not sure if I'll like it at all really. Never had one before. 
I have in my mind that I might like to do what I did with our last baby and deliver in our bedroom, most likely near the bed, kneeling or hands and knees. But, I guess I'll go with what feels right in the moment. My DH and kids will be there and a midwife and her assistant. I feel like I'll be just fine with them being around. My midwife is great and I was happy to have my kids there last time. I'm just happy to be having another home birth. So much nicer/more comfortable for me than being in the hospital.

[amlikam]

Just risked myself out of homebirth with Gestational Diabetes. *sigh* tried to manage it with diet and exercise but I am thinking some insulin might be beneficial for my overall care. So disappointed but happy to know I am doing what feels right for me and my family.

[dayiscoming2006]

Amlikam, sorry the homebirth didn't workout, but glad that you are getting the care you need. Gotta do what's right for you and baby.

[littlegreenlady]

How do some of you feel about GBS testing and treatment. I don't know why, but I can't remember what I did the first time. Now I can't figure out what to do. I feel conflicted and not sure if it's the hormones. Anyone have any good info, articles, experiences to share?

[dayiscoming2006]

Originally Posted by littlegreenlady 

How do some of you feel about GBS testing and treatment. I don't know why, but I can't remember what I did the first time. Now I can't figure out what to do. I feel conflicted and not sure if it's the hormones. Anyone have any good info, articles, experiences to share?

When I read up on it, I read that there are more risks with doing antibiotics that made me decide even if I were GBS positive, I personally would not do the antibiotics because there are some risks to those that I wasn't comfortable with. There are alternative things to be done that midwives do a lot. Hybaclens comes to mind. I think that's what it's called. And taking probiotics I believe. But, I'd have to look it all up again. That's just off the top of my head. 

[dayiscoming2006]

Here, I looked up stuff just for you and because I was curious. :)

http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/gbsAlt.html

http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/gbs.html

http://holisticsquid.com/alternative-treatment-for-gbs/

http://www.livestrong.com/article/81458-alternative-treatments-group-b-strep/

Edited by dayiscoming2006 - 4/19/13 at 6:13am

[littlegreenlady]

thank you sooo much! This is perfect. 

[sky_and_lavender]

Originally Posted by dayiscoming2006 

When I read up on it, I read that there are more risks with doing antibiotics that made me decide even if I were GBS positive, I personally would not do the antibiotics because there are some risks to those that I wasn't comfortable with.

I'm with you. Especially considering the many benefits of transferring the good bacteria from mother's body to the baby during birth. We only get one chance! If we take antibiotics, we wipe all the good stuff out. And it probably puts us at risk for thrush during breastfeeding (ouch)! My goal is to keep eating a veggie-rich whole foods diet with some added probiotics and hope I'm negative for GBS when I do the test so I don't have to deal with any of that mess. (fingers crossed for all of us!)

[FarmerMomma]

I had a weird day yesterday. I wrote it all out last night then my phone died before I hit post. So here we go again... Night before last my son asked me if Wow was kicking me when I made a face. I said no, it was just a bh. He's so on it. Knows my heartburn and rib kicks. My closest partner is a 5 year old. And then I was thinking I don't really remember any rib kicks all day. So I go to bed with this on my mind. I wake up next day and still don't feel normal. I feel a bit and am relieved for a minute but can't shake the feeling. I call my midwife and she says call the OB that is on my insurance, she can't get to me quickly and if there is a problem I need medical care. I had one apt with him and he never invited me back after I told him I have a midwife. I call and they won't give me an apt. So I go to the ER, small town hospital. I'm treated well checking in. Ran into a friend working there says they'll have to take you your so many weeks pregnant. And she said that was rediculous of the doc and she was born at Home. She was feeling the same way in her pregnancy must have been the weather, hot and windy. They admitted me and a nice nurse hooked me up to the monitor and I heard the heart beat and felt so much better. She gave me 2 sprites to chug to feel more movement. It didn't work as well as the cheesecake though. She went to get the doc but he wouldn't come. I didn't really care because I got my answer in the heartbeat. But jeez what if I really do need an OB. I can't seem to use the one on my insurance just because I told him the truth about a midwife. I would certainly suggest omitting that info in my hindsight where politics are playing in prenatal care.

[kitteh]

Wow, where do you live farmermama? (if that's not too personal a q?) I'm just shocked that there really still exists that level of animosity between obs and midwives. I've always gone with CNMs, so maybe therein lies the difference. I'm sure CNMs are more "part of the system" or less crunchy and alternative than non-CN midwives so maybe they tend to play by the same general rules as the obs? But still!