Homebirth Tribe? - Page 7
FarmerMomma, yeah, I think omitting stuff when it comes to getting care is a good idea when necessary. Pathetic. I've had trouble getting my insurance to pay for things here because I have to be referred by an OB in their system - like for the 20 week anatomy scan. They wouldn't cover it though it's a very routine thing ALL OB's would have requested. Thankfully, my midwife knocked the amount of the ultrasound off my bill because she thought they would cover it. Sorry you have to deal with that.
My insurance is an hmo and my only option for "in-network" providers are an family practice doc or an ob. No CNM. All of my prenatal care, birthing, hospital stay, pp, etc is covered 100% with no oop expenses for me. But if I chose an out of network CNM, I would lose my ob and pay for 50% of all costs. We're broke w/ no savings so I had to go with an ob (and I haven't been happy with the care). It's unfortunate. I make due by only following some of her advice and researching homeopathic treatments on my own.
Can you afford a doula? Or do you have a strong family member or friend that could act as a person to help relay your wishes to the docs since you will be busy and your partner may be too scared, occupied or otherwise to act as that person. I thought my husband would be a good support, but he just isn't any good if there's an authority figure telling him what is best even if he knows better. I've heard 200 dollars is around the right price for a doula?? Don't know for sure, never had one, but yeah. It's a thought.
JNajla, did you find your doula?
I'm feeling this sense of urgency now at 35 and a half weeks. Must order the birth kit, must get the linens for the birth together, and take care of the birth pool issue! Must wash baby clothes and finish prepping the diapers! Must put together clothes I can wear while nursing, and get nursing pads!
I'm also trying to get a handle on birth logistics, especially what my husband's role will be. Last time he was so busy taking care of house/birth chores that his presence didn't make much of an impression on me, and he doesn't even remember much of the birth other than the very end. I don't remember really any true tender or intimate moments with him prior to giving birth, and I want to know how we can make those moments more likely this time. Maybe just the fact of me being in an emotionally better place is the key, but I don't know. My new doula will be more on top of practical stuff this time, and I also will have a friend here watching my daughter who can help with minor things.
But gosh it feels kind of overwhelming at times. I want to get past being in planning mode and spend some more time in a dreamy, hopeful state. But it is hard to relax when I feel things are not "ready." So I'm trying to both get past that... and get things ready.
I'm really looking forward to the labor/birthing time. I'm loving the hypnobabies practice this time--I already have been using my hypnosis skills for pregnancy aches and pains and it's a great help, and also helps my moods.
Edited by sky_and_lavender - 5/18/13 at 12:19am
Sky, I'm also totally looking forward to the labor and birthing part. Now that I can stop obsessively worrying that he'll be premature and necessitate a hospital delivery (knock on wood, two more days!), I'm getting giddy and ready to meet my lil man... when he's ready to make his appearance, of course.
Happy homebirths, all and happy Mother's Day too!
Okay, now I'm 37 weeks and 3 days, and the thing that is really bugging me is that the house does not feel ready to me for the birth. Not clean enough, not organized enough, and I don't really have the energy and grit to take care of it all myself. I've accepted that the house will not be as ready as I wanted it to be in terms of sprucing up and organization. But the bathrooms need to be spotless or near so. And the floors need to not make our feet dirty with crumbs and miscellaneous stuff when we walk on them! This is the hardest part for me about homebirth.
A couple of days ago, I had a bunch of cramping and BH, and then the baby dropped. Since then, when she's moving around a lot, especially at night, I get these sharp, cramp-like discomforts in the ligaments around my thighs. I wonder if this is part of why Ina May massages people's thighs during birthing time?
Oh, and I am feeling challenged in relationship to my mother, with whom my relationship is always strained anyway. She is troubled because we haven't told her the baby's name and jealous that my in-laws were planning to come and help out (now they might not make it). She is disabled and can't help much. Besides that, she is not a good presence with babies... or me. Today she called to tell me not knowing the new baby's name makes her feel "left out." The reason I haven't told her which name we chose is because she has a negative reaction to every name I mention in passing, including the one we eventually chose. And then when I told her I had gotten new shower curtain and matching towels for the bathroom, she asked jealously, "oh, so you're getting ready for the in-laws to come?" No, they probably aren't coming. The new stuff is because I always find that room dull and depressing and will be spending time in there washing diapers and being sleep deprived.
I know all these things are passing details. I wish I could calm down. Sleep would be nice. I hope you all are feeling more mellow than this!
Rest mama, sounds like you need some time to collect your thoughts and relax to prepare yourself for birth.
As long as your bathroom is clean enough to your liking or wherever you plan to give birth, and you've got a spot for the MW to rest I wouldn't stress about anything else. Overdoing it this late a date is really not worth it for you or the babe.
Home births should be comfortable, you shouldn't be upset over who is coming over, how clean everything is, who is here etc.. Home is where you want to be to bring this babe into the world otherwise you would have chosen a birthing center right? Do not stress yourself.
I have similar issues with my Inlaws as you described with your mother. The thing is I don't have the energy nor care to give time to people that are looking to stress me out by dealing with them. I would simply say "These are our wishes and we appreciate your thoughts and patience during this amazing time for our growing family."
Sending you some love and calm energy sky and Lavender! All will work itself out and your house will be as perfect as it can be. I, too, am feeling the house cleaning stress, but not having the energy (nor the help from DP) to get it done. I have a big cleaning list and I just keep telling myself "One thing at a time." It's never going to be perfect, not up to my mom's standards by any means! But it will be what it is at the time Baby decides to come.
Maybe you can get your Honey to massage your legs and thighs a little tonight? Touch is so very therapeutic and can help relax a lot of the stress we are all feeling right now. And not just the physical stress!! This is such a sacred special time for us, try to enjoy it and be easy on yourself. You are going to have a wonderful birth!!
DP's mom is going to be visiting the first week of June and I am stressing a lot about that. I will be about 37 wks when she arrives and she plans on staying until about a week before EDD. Luckily she has an RV she will be staying in, so it's not like we have her in our house, but I am still stressed about having to deal with outside energy when I will be in full nesting mode and wanting time and space for just me. I have had to tell her that I might be naked and crawling around the yard for much of her stay here. She can either be okay with it or leave!
I think it's difficult having to worry about other people in our nesting space, especially when planning a home birth, because we are really trying to make that space ready for new Baby. We are sensitive beings right now other people's energy can disrupt our flow. I say don't worry about anyone but you and Baby (and any other kids you may have and your partner, but still with you and Baby as number 1 priority!). You don't need to make things comfortable for them, you need to make things comfortable for you!
Thank you for all the kind words and good ideas and advice. I'm feeling better in a way because this weekend I accomplished a lot, and my husband seems to be finally getting into nesting (maybe I inspired him with my activity?) and he did some good work, too. My biggest accomplishment was cleaning out the office. It has been filled with haphazard piles of stuff and boxes (due to an unwanted inheritance that has been hard to deal with), and we have been making baby steps on it for months. But I finally got it so the floor is clear and there are no more boxes and everything is in a place... It feels so miraculous to walk into the room and have it be clear that last night every time I'd get up to go to the bathroom, I'd go and just stand in the room and feel grateful.
Then also today my doula came over to check on me and did a belly cast. (Neat experience! My belly looks smaller in plaster than it feels on my body!) That was really a pleasant experience. She assured me my house is in fine shape for having a baby, which took some of the pressure off, even though I'm still trying to get stuff done.
Hoping to be really ready by next weekend, when I'll just relax. Theoretically.
Hi everyone. I haven't posted here in a long time but now that we're nearing the end of our journey, I'm feeling more focused. Still planning a homebirth and bought a birth tub/ DH bought a converter for the hose and BR sink for filling it up. Wish I could keep the house clean for when things happen but hopefully it won't bother me too much if it isn't as spotless as i'd like. What are you guys planning to feed your midwife and./ or doula?
Yeah, the whole keeping the house clean is kind of a funny task, isn't it?
My husband makes a middle eastern mezza (including hummos, baba ghannouj, ful, salad, bread, crackers) for the birth crew.
And we'll have a lot of green juice and light kinds of foods for me. Last time right after the birth, I was offered lentil soup and there was no way I would want that. But I was really really tired and hemorrhaged... Hmm. Maybe I'll make some kind of vegan, gluten-free muffins or snacks for myself post birth.
After my first son was born we had a big waffle breakfast and it was great. Especially after laboring all night.
someone (raerae?) mentioned watermelon as something they were going to have at their labor and I think this sounds wonderful. even my kids love it so it should (hopefully) satisfy everyone.
I think I will freeze some into small bite size pieces and keep some fresh hanging around the house. I guess I should call my mom and tell her " I want watermelon!"