Homebirth Tribe? - Page 5 « Back to Group Discussions

[amlikam]

OSUvet wow I couldn't imagine such a big move so close to the arrival of the baby. How fortunate you are to have multiple care providers both places. I do hope your transition happens sooner rather than later for you.

[amlikam]

Bumping this to see if we want to generate more chatter or talk about plans: tubs, support teams, food lists,   

So much to plan, I am wanting to get supplies ordered and such but also working to not go overboard with the intention I will have a full term cooker this time.... But there are things like wanting to make up freezer meals and such that I could possibly start now... Also wondering about the tub and all that jazz.

Also wondering about who you will have with you and such. DH and I have been talking a bit more and I think I am wanting less is more... but right now I have 2 midwives and a "doula" (close friend who is a doula/midwife in training/RN), DH and DD - I am thinking I want a photographer possibly (I am a birth photographer so I'd love some of my own birth).... my sisters want to be there, but really I am conflicted. Culturally, everyone "should" be in my birth space, but last time that didn't work so well for me. I also had asked my niece to be present (hoping to show her how amazing our bodies are for when she has kids)... but the thought of it being low key sounds divine... (but having my sister/niece there could be useful for DD.....) At one point I had also asked another friend/doula to be there and I am going to email her and tell her that I am not really open to that idea anymore....

I was processing DD birth this week and one thing that keeps coming up is the feeling like I was in a fishbowl on display.... And I "know" from book training and intuition that it wasnt good for my previous labor.

[shanna-cat]

With my first birth I had a tub and only used it for about an hour. I just didn't enjoy it and I like really warm water which I wasn't supposed to use... I was really surprised because olive water and taking baths and thought I would have a wonderful water birth. Oh we'll, I'm glad I tried it.
A few things I really liked was turning all the clocks off or around so I couldn't see them, having people offer me lots of drinks and small snacks, for me personally I LOVE being surrounded by friends and family during labor. There were 13 people at my first labor including all 4 of my siblings, 3 good friends, and loads of family. It was wonderful and I felt so supported and loved. And what better way to preach the beauty of homebirth then by showing people!?
With my second I planned something similar but he was born in 29 min and my mom ended up delivering him.
Hoping for a longer delivery this time! Maybe 4 hours or so?

[littlegreenlady]

Ya I really didn't like my tub. I had rented a really nice big one and used it during the last month of pregnancy which was actually really nice, but during labor it was terrible. I won't be getting one this time, because we don't have the space.

I had my mom and grandmother here last time as well, but ended up asking them to stay in another part of the house cause I really needed my space. I had my 2 midwives and a doula and my husband. This time it will probably be my husband our 2 midwives, and my son. I will be having my sister fly out to help out but she may not make it for the birth, if she does I think she would be the best person to help me with our son. If she doesn't make it and it seems we need help I have a friend that is available to help. I'm hoping he just sleeps through it :) I really don't want him to loose sleep, but realize that may not be realistic.

[RaeRae1109]

Planning a UC homebirth with just DP and my mom (who has been through 4 vaginal births of her own and sat in on countless other homebirths through her years).  I am a very private person and wouldn't want too many people around, too much interference with what I will be trying to do!!  I may have one of my best friends around to care for my dog (who I think will flip out if I make too much noise). She wants to be there as soon as possible to see the baby and to be there for me and my family if we need anything (store runs, help making food, etc).  I have considered having her there to take pictures, but I'm not sure I want that much energy in the room with me (this is my first child, so there is a lot of 'I'm not sure how I'll feel in the moment' sort of things going on in my head). 

My mom works at a nursing home, so she has been bringing me absorbent pads (for under people's sheets at the home).  I recently bought both umbilical clamps and a bulb syringe, although I'm not sure I will use the syringe.  That's more for just in case and to have around.

I keep thinking about what do I really need?!  I was looking at birthing pools and my mom instantly said "let's just dig a pond and fill it with fish."  Yeah, no, but thanks!    But since I am due the end of June I do have these beautiful fantasies of birthing outside in the sunshine and grass.  I live in the Pacific North West (USA) and we can never be too sure of the weather that time of year.  If it's raining I'm sure I'll be inside.  Although I do love that the days will be long (I'm due June 27th) and the sun will be out from about 4:30am until 10pm. 

I have been trying to figure out what I want cooking in the slow cooker the day I go into labor!  This seems like such a small thing, but I know I will want a good hearty meal when everything is over and I doubt any of us will want to cook (maybe not, my DP loves to cook and since it's June he might just pull out the BBQ and make us some steak). 

Anyone have any food suggestions for the new momma and her labor party? 

I'm glad we still have a few months to plan, but it's going to be here before we know it!  I can't believe I am already 22weeks (tomorrow!).

[kitteh]

Originally Posted by SweetMama34 

I wish for one, but I'm also feeling okay if the hospital is our better option. For me, it's a matter of finances - we really, really want to buy a house in a couple of months, so we aren't sure if finances will allow for a homebirth. Meanwhile, my insurance covers 100% of everything with a hospital birth. Ridiculous.

This is totally our situation too (except for the part about hoping to buy a house soon. I wish!) I hate that finances have to determine where I can give birth. I will be able to have a water birth with a CNM at the hospital, but i still get really sad when I think about homebirths. If we go for baby #3 we will definitely save up to pay for the homebirth.

[amlikam]

Originally Posted by RaeRae1109 

Planning a UC homebirth .... (this is my first child, so there is a lot of 'I'm not sure how I'll feel in the moment' sort of things going on in my head).  wow!! my first birth I wanted to UC but everyone scared the heck out of me with it and I went hospital route. This time I am having the homebirth with midwives I trust, but I am wanting to more and more really embrace my own knowing with the process. my frined who will be there (to help me, the dogs and my DD) keeps thinking it will be a quick labor and surprise us. I guess we'll see.

My mom works at a nursing home, so she has been bringing me absorbent pads (for under people's sheets at the home). AWESOME!!!

I am due the end of June I do have these beautiful fantasies of birthing outside in the sunshine and grass.   I think about this too, but my neighbors are pretty close. I have a part of my yard I could enclose fairly easily for birthing which I  might do- but the dogs tend to go potty there, not matter how much I discourage it! We are going to work at setting something up in that space and put our fire ring there too so I could have a fire if I want it.

Anyone have any food suggestions for the new momma and her labor party? I have been thinking about this. I am thinking I am going to make a hearty beef stew and have eggs on hand too. I have a friend in the community who offered to cook a meal of lentils for post labor if we want, and said she'd drop it off warm without wanting anything in return... or even she's leave it in a cooler for us. But I am a firm believer in meat protien after birth.

I'm glad we still have a few months to plan, but it's going to be here before we know it!  I can't believe I am already 22weeks (tomorrow!). I am still surprised to think how quickly this will all happen. I know we have time, but most of that time I will be working or managing my DD/family... so little energetic space otherwise!

ETA I found this Pinterest board for freezer crockpot meals.   http://pinterest.com/tammyvwinn/food-crock-pot-freezer-meals/

Edited by amlikam - 2/21/13 at 7:10am

[amlikam]

Originally Posted by shanna-cat 

With my first birth I had a tub and only used it for about an hour. I just didn't enjoy it and I like really warm water which I wasn't supposed to use... I was really surprised because olive water and taking baths and thought I would have a wonderful water birth. Oh we'll, I'm glad I tried it. I loved the water when I was in labor with DD. I didn't like that the hospital insisted lights stayed on though.... that part was annoying. super annoying

 A few things I really liked was turning all the clocks off or around so I couldn't see them, having people offer me lots of drinks and small snacks, I like the idea of no clocks visible. We really only have 2 clocks in my house (besides phones) and both are in rooms I don't plan on laboring in (my kitchen and DD room). Hoever it reminds me that I want ALL cell phones on silent or off, and no one talking on phones in my house at all. I also think I will want the internet turned off during labor too.

for me personally I LOVE being surrounded by friends and family during labor. There were 13 people at my first labor including all 4 of my siblings, 3 good friends, and loads of family. It was wonderful and I felt so supported and loved. And what better way to preach the beauty of homebirth then by showing people!? I had at least that many people with DD, but I was in a hospital and most people were focused on me getting it done than the actuall process. my home is pretty small too and I can hear just about any part of the house. I guess also it depends on your family. I love my family but it can be wild and more than I want for me in labor. My husband said "imagine giving birth at christmas...." that gave me a good understanding what it would  be like with everyone... but in a much smaller space .

With my second I planned something similar but he was born in 29 min and my mom ended up delivering him.
Hoping for a longer delivery this time! Maybe 4 hours or so?  I hold that intention with you :-)

Originally Posted by littlegreenlady 

Ya I really didn't like my tub. I had rented a really nice big one and used it during the last month of pregnancy which was actually really nice, but during labor it was terrible. I won't be getting one this time, because we don't have the space. Our space is limited but I decided it was worth it for me, just because I am seriously a water bug. Love it so much. Even if we just play in it before birth I will be happy... We also have a big tub (claw foot full size) but I remember wanting a bigger tub with DD birth and that was a tub bigger than ours.

I had my mom and grandmother here last time as well, but ended up asking them to stay in another part of the house cause I really needed my space. I had my 2 midwives and a doula and my husband. This time it will probably be my husband our 2 midwives, and my son. I will be having my sister fly out to help out but she may not make it for the birth, if she does I think she would be the best person to help me with our son. If she doesn't make it and it seems we need help I have a friend that is available to help. I'm hoping he just sleeps through it :) I really don't want him to loose sleep, but realize that may not be realistic.  how old is DS?

[kitteh]

Well, it looks like homebirth isn't completely off the table for us. We recently met with a group of midwives who are willing to cut their fee by half and attend me at home for $3,000. This amount includes all remaining prenatals and everything for a water birth. I think I would do concurrent care with my CNMs just in case of hospital transfer, though. And my CNM is the one who suggested I try the homebirth route, so I think she would be open to the idea.

We have an appointment to tour the hospital this coming Tuesday, which I think will play a big role in making this decision for us. Last time I delievered with the midwives at UCLA, and the L&D room was really nice and top-of-the-line. The hospital I will have to go to this time is a county hospital and I've heard its really dumpy. I'm no snob, but I wonder if I will have trouble relaxing if I feel like I'm in a dumpy, rundown hospital. So we'll see how the hospital looks and feels on Tuesday. They do allow waterbirths there, though, which is nice. And the one CNM that I'm most comfortable with (well, the only one I've met so far) attends all of the waterbirths, regardless of who is oncall. So those are to plusses for the hospital route.

One of the huge points pushing us in the direction of a hospital birth is finances. with DD insurance covered everything about the labor and birth (though I saw a bill afterwards and it was more than 25k!!) However, our income has gone up a bit since then, and I just received a letter suggesting that we might have a share-of-cost that is about $1,700. I have to call and see if that pertains to my pregnancy expenses as well, or just non-maternity coverage. Because if we're going to have to pay almost 2k to go the hospital route, then we might as well kick in the other grand and have our homebirth.

The homebirth midwives that we met were amazing and we spent over an hour talking with them during the initial free consultation. The prenantal appointments are all an hour, but they are kind of far from where we live (like 45 minute bike ride. And we don't have a car) so if we continue to consider the HB route I'm going to try to see if we can work something out so I don't have to bike that far during the later weeks when I'm huge. A number of the midwives live in my area, though, so maybe they would agree to do the prenatals in our home?

The other issue with a HB is that we live in a tiny 1 bedroom apartment, and my mom and stepdad are planning to come out for the birth (mom plays the role of doula, step-dad to watch over DD) so our tiny space will be filled up. I'm not sure if my step-dad would feel comfortable being in the apartment during labor, but I do want DD to have that option if she wants to/is behaving. We would probably have to set the birthing tub up in the livingroom and push the couch out of the way, so it will definitely be labor central in here. I'm also not really sure what my landlord would say about the idea, that could be a big issue (is it horrible that I'm considering just not saying anything?)

I'm really hoping to have this all nailed down within the next week or two. The 3rd trimester is looming!

[shanna-cat]

Originally Posted by RaeRae1109 


My mom works at a nursing home, so she has been bringing me absorbent pads (for under people's sheets at the home).  I recently bought both umbilical clamps and a bulb syringe, although I'm not sure I will use the syringe.  That's more for just in case and to have around.

Are you talking about Chucks? My mom is a labor and delivery nurse and we aren't buying a birth kit because she can just get it all from work. We had lots of chucks- which were great and we end[ed up using then all. Another thing I loved from my previous labor was those giant frozen post labor pads- they're huge and cold and make your nether regions feel all need up after doing all its hard work. I seriously loved those things!!

I keep thinking about what do I really need?!  I was looking at birthing pools and my mom instantly said "let's just dig a pond and fill it with fish."  Yeah, no, but thanks!   

I used a giant excercise ball and the dryer turned on to labor with my first. I would bounce in the ball between contractions and then during contractions lean my back and butt against the dryer. It was warm and vibrating and felt great- who knew!!

But since I am due the end of June I do have these beautiful fantasies of birthing outside in the sunshine and grass.  I live in the Pacific North West (USA) and we can never be too sure of the weather that time of year.  If it's raining I'm sure I'll be inside.  Although I do love that the days will be long (I'm due June 27th) and the sun will be out from about 4:30am until 10pm. 

Just an FYI, but my neighbors called the police on me while in labor! Guess they thought I was being murdered or something. And if wasn't the neighbor right next door but almost a block away!! So, maybe a word to your neighbors might be good.


I have been trying to figure out what I want cooking in the slow cooker the day I go into labor!  This seems like such a small thing, but I know I will want a good hearty meal when everything is over and I doubt any of us will want to cook (maybe not, my DP loves to cook and since it's June he might just pull out the BBQ and make us some steak). 

Both mine labors were over night so we had big breakfast in the morning. Lots of fresh fruit, waffles.... It was great!!

Anyone have any food suggestions for the new momma and her labor party? 

I would say a big variety of snacky foods as you have no idea what time of day/night you'll go into labor, how long it will be, of what you or anyone will want to eat. Granola bars, fresh fruit and veggies, yogurt, nuts or trail mix, dried fruit... I wasn't hungry at all during or after labor but I heard my midwives were! Maybe have a food list all ready with some cash and some one designated to do a store run when labor starts?

Edited by shanna-cat - 2/22/13 at 5:06pm

[kitteh]

Originally Posted by SweetMama34 

Plus, I feel like that money I'd put toward the birth is being taken from my family somehow. It's a month of hard, hard work for my husband. It's like paying outright for an ivy league school when you have a full ride scholarship to a decent state college, you know? Or buying a Coach purse when a knockoff will do. I would NEVER in a million years spend more than $20 on a purse....so while I know it's kind of dumb to compare a purse to a home birth, just trying to give you perspective on my spending habits...or lack thereof. I feel SO guilty taking that money out for an experience, when I know I'll be just fine at a hospital. I've had two great hospital births...I'm not sure why I feel I need/want this different this time.

This is exactly how I feel right now. We HAVE the 3k for the homebirth, but that is almost an entire month's income for us! And we are going to take a financial hit over the summer while I am at home with baby, unable to work. I don't know how much I will get for maternity benefits, but it will most likely be $200/week or less. Last Summer I was able to work and made $500/week. So times will definitely be tighter this Summer than last, and I feel like having that extra 3k in the bank will help me feel more secure and safe. Then again, I just can't seem to let go of this homebirth idea. Ugh.

[sky_and_lavender]

At 25 weeks, I feel so aware that there are only 15 weeks until something will probably happen, and I am so excited! (My first was born 2 days after our confirmed due date.) It seems like such a short period of time, and although I felt a little goofy reading birth stories and consciously dreaming of birthing during the early weeks, now I feel totally justified! What a fun time of pregnancy!

During my last birth, I was really tired after a depressed pregnancy and I didn't even want to hold the baby when she was born. (I was really too out of it, but my husband and doula helped.) This time I'm excited about the idea of catching the baby myself (with my husband's help, maybe.)

Last time also I gave little thought to the ambiance of the room where I planned to give birth. This time I plan to make it as comforting and relaxing as I can, especially with dim light. I think I'm going to paint that room (from white to a gentler color) with no VOC paint, even.

I'm also considering having fewer people directly in the room with me while I push the baby out. (Last time it was: husband, midwife, assistant, backup midwife, doula and me.) This time we'll also have my 3.5 year old daughter and our friend who will watch her in the house. I didn't feel distracted by the number of people in the room last time, and I felt supported by all present, but I wonder if fewer would be better.

Last time my labor began with my water breaking, and though I'd planned to do something relaxing during the early stage, in reality I was overtaken by nervousness about motherhood and my reaction was to be almost totally still in the pain (and then use hypnosis to remove the pain) rather than do anything not directly labor-related. I'm in such a different place this time. I'm thinking of how labor might be, and how we might spend the early hours of it (assuming there are early, non-intense hours).

I'm also thinking of what time of day I'd like to give birth. (Not that we definitely get to choose, but I think our own strong preferences can affect our biology at times.) Originally I thought an early morning birth, like my daughter's, would be good so she could sleep through most of the labor. But I'm not sure what we'd do with her during the day immediately after the birth in that case, since we'll be tired and want to sleep. So maybe laboring during the day and giving birth in the evening would be better for us. What totally indulgent thoughts and writing! But it's so fun and dreamy to think about this stuff.

Happy (home) birth dreaming to all of you!

[kitteh]

Last time my labor began with my water breaking, and though I'd planned to do something relaxing during the early stage, in reality I was overtaken by nervousness about motherhood and my reaction was to be almost totally still in the pain (and then use hypnosis to remove the pain) rather than do anything not directly labor-related. I'm in such a different place this time. I'm thinking of how labor might be, and how we might spend the early hours of it (assuming there are early, non-intense hours).

I'm also thinking of what time of day I'd like to give birth. (Not that we definitely get to choose, but I think our own strong preferences can affect our biology at times.) Originally I thought an early morning birth, like my daughter's, would be good so she could sleep through most of the labor. But I'm not sure what we'd do with her during the day immediately after the birth in that case, since we'll be tired and want to sleep. So maybe laboring during the day and giving birth in the evening would be better for us. What totally indulgent thoughts and writing! But it's so fun and dreamy to think about this stuff.

Happy (home) birth dreaming to all of you!

I did the same thing last time, being "in the pain" during early labor instead of doing something distracting and non-labor related. I'm toying with the idea of baking something--cookies or muffins or chocolate cake. I had the MOST AMAZING chocolate cake after delivering DD and I really think I want to have the same again this time. I'm also thinking about taking walks around the neighborhood. Late June will be really lovely around here. If only we had a back yard, I'd love to have the option to spend a good deal of labor outside.

I also think laboring all day (well, Not ALL day, I hope) and then having the baby in the early hours of the morning, like 1 or 2 am, would be nice.

[LittleBlackBug]

Our first birth was an unplanned UC as things moved faster than we thought they would and our midwives made it five minutes after birth. We are hoping to have things set up well in advance this time. Birth tub in the house at 36 weeks with liner ready, bed liner on in advance, etc. We will also have more people with us this time, which will be different. We will have two midwives, DD who will be 3.5, my sister to help with DD and DH. I really wanted to have a birth photographer, but DH isn't comfortable with more people in the house.

A super positive note: I submitted my home birth midwife for an in network gap exception through UHC using the billing codes my midwife's biller uses and they were approved!! I didn't even have to appeal!! We will see how things turn out, but I'm happy that they accepted it right away.

[RaeRae1109]

Amlikan- I definitely think a beef something will be nice for after birth.  Especially for my carnivorous DP!  I love the idea of preparing something before hand and sticking it in the freezer so it's easy and ready to go.  First I need to keep baking berry pies to clear up space in my freezer!  It would be nice to have some easy just in case labor is fast and/or I don't have energy to cook, but I know I will want things to do to keep myself busy and moving (cooking, cleaning, walking, etc) if labor progresses slowly.

Shanna-cat- I have been worried about what my neighbors will think/say/do if I am outside!  I, luckily, have 4 acres, but sound travels in my neighborhood and I can hear almost everyone from across the road.  I will have to think a little more on my noise levels and maybe just send a little notice out to everyone the beginning of June with a heads up about possible outside labor noises.  And thank you for the suggestions of fruit and many many snacks!  And waffles!!  Mmmmmm, even if our first meal isn't breakfast maybe waffles will have to be on the menu

[amlikam]

I plan on singing, dancing and playing with dd during early labor. Also we live close to a beautiful hiking trail which can be a fairly easy hike, that I hope to do early labor with the dogs. While cooking in early labor sounds ideal, my kitchen is small (ridiculously) and I want to be as engaged as possible with dd. also I know labor coming on will make me want my bathrooms cleaned. So I have a bunch of possibilities for early labor.
We might make a cake for the "birthday" too. That's easy enough to do with dd on the table.

[sky_and_lavender]

amlikam, I love your early labor options!

I am so excited about birth that I've start writing birth stories to imagine what this birth might be like. (I'm thinking of starting to write postpartum stories, too, to help prepare me for the early days and weeks with two children.)

One of the ideas I wrote for "early labor" is to spend time with my daughter decorating a simple "new baby" flag to put outside the house after the baby arrives, and I think this would be a fun idea if I prepare enough in advance so I don't have to think too hard about gathering materials.
 

[RaeRae1109]

I love both of your early labor plans!! And sky-and-lavender you have inspired me!

I have a few people who often just stop by my place, so I feel like I should put something up outside my gate that informs people of the labor in progress. Maybe I will make some sort of flag/alter to block the path, with a little note saying "please do not disturb."  I will possibly have one of my best friends hanging around the house, to help care for my dog and just be extra support.  She might have to be on gate duty

I also have been feeling the urge to write, not necessarily a birth plan, but more of birth fantasies/stories/desires.  I also want to write letters to Baby.  With all this unusual Pacific NorthWest sun, maybe now is the time to start such things!

[amlikam]

Oh I love those ideas!!!

[presslermom]

Late stepping in, but I'm feeling discouraged at this point. DD #3 was a uc water birth but it didn't make the hubs very comfortable and he ended up making us go to the hospital at 24 hrs to get checked out. I get it, he's a nervous person. So DD #4 we hired a midwife....wonderful for pretty much all aspects...except that she got a little more involved at the end than I would've liked and we can't really afford to pay that out of pocket again this round. So, here I sit, praying for a call from an RN who has magically gotten approval from Tricare to attend homebirth saying she can take me on and it'll only cost me maybe $1K. Otherwise, I'll have to give birth in a hospital again. I don't know if I'm mentally prepared for that. I know I can stand up for myself better, but there are so many little things, like taking home my placenta. Ugh!

ok, rant over...I LOVED my birth pool...and used it for both of my last births. I got in probably right before transition (if I had to guess) and birthed both babes in the water. It was lovely. Probably the best part for me is not feeling the yuck on me right after birth...and going straight into a clean bath tub after. I ate lots of high protein foods before during and after...although there wasn't as much time as it seems ;). Eggs, bolt house farms protein drinks, avocados and lots of fruit!

trying to think of what else is relevant...