Here's my BFing backstory and what I expected I would do with a full term baby.
Today DD is 2 weeks old (37w4d adjusted). Being early, she is tiny and needs to eat, eat, eat in order to gain weight and regulate her temperature. At this point she's doing both very well but she still tires easily during feeds, be they by bottle or at the breast.
At birth, she latched on beautifully, but knowing I have so little glandular tissue with which to make milk, we started her on formula while she was in the special baby care unit for 4 days. The nurses there were adamant that she feed X mls/day and they had no idea what combo feeding was; it was breast or bottle or NG tube...and not breast because she needs more than I have. So bottles it was. Thankfully she only needed the NG tube for a very short time.
My midwives OTOH, while they still had no concept of what I meant when I said I wanted to supplement at the breast, encouraged me to express what I could to finger feed her in addition to the bottles, and to put her to the breast when she was wakeful just to keep that familiarity. I did that at hospital and in the first week at home. I could/can express 2-4ml per feed. When we got home I also started on galactagogue herbs.
A couple days ago I got out the Lactaid SNS deal because ultimately I really do want to feed her at the breast; whether its my milk she gets or not, I want that relationship. But it's a fiddly contraption and sometimes it seems like it's adding more stress to try to get her to latch on and get the tube in there right. She's done several full feeds with it, and many 50/50 feeds where I finish her off with a bottle. A few times its been a complete bust and at night I just can't deal with it, especially since DH isn't as supportive as I'd like. He's on-board with the benefits of BF, especially since she really needs the immunities, but he worries that she needs to put on weight and that a bottle would be more efficient and less of a struggle. I share those concerns.
So that's where I'm at today. Feeling hopeful and discouraged at the same time. Any advice, encouragement, or BTDT stories would be most appreciated.