Baby shower/registry or no? « Back to Group Discussions

[skycheattraffic]

This will be my second kiddo and the vast majority of baby gear we already have from having DD. while I like the idea of having a party for the baby, I think I'd skip having a baby shower this time around. Seriously, this is what my registry would be like:
3 or 4 newborn diaper covers
Pack of washcloths or cloth wipes
Good quality sling
Couple of pajamas
I'm a bargain hunter and very practical when it comes to clothes and it just blew me away how much clothing we got as gifts for DD in 6 months and under sizing. Then there were the cutesy outfits that felt like sandpaper that never even saw the light of day. I just thought it was such a waste. I'm thinking of having a pot luck "welcome baby" party with no gifts. Any monetary gifts (just you try and stop grandparents!) would go in our savings account for a rainy day. What do you think? What are you ladies doing/consenting to have done?

[g&a]

I had a "Mama's blessing" the second time around.  We sat around, ate munchies, and painted my belly with henna.  Each person brought a bead which I strung together to make a necklace.  Everyone brought a picture of their bead and wrote some words of encouragement.  I stilll have it all in an album.

[heyitskalista]

This is our 4th. I request no showers every time but so far, no one has listened to me! Lol. I feel so guilty having people spend money on us when we really don't need anything! If someone does one again, I think I'll request donations be made to the march of dimes, in lieu of gifts!

I LOVE the idea of a mother blessing.

[InLove2009]

You could have a gender reveal party instead and say no gifts. Or diapers, I think all the gender reveal parties I had been too just asked to bring diapers or wipes (or the rash creams). I like that idea if you really do not need anything else. :)

[wrenmoon]

We have given everything away. Every little thing. The only thing I still have are some medium diapers and a few covers with worn out elastic.
All my friends are out of this stage of babies too... No one to hand anything down. We didn't buy clothes for the first two and a half years, everything was handed over last two times.
Looks like this time will be different. I'd do a shower with a request that everything be used (except the carseats) then I'd feel a lot better about the amount of "stuff" that comes with a baby.

[skycheattraffic]

The gender reveal sounds like the welcome baby party I was thinking of - unless it's done before the birth. And honestly beyond a couple of covers, the kiddo who COULD use diapers would be DD since she's in sposies at night (cloth won't hold her) lol. I think the mother blessing is lovely but it sounds like its done before the birth, so people can't meet baby. Maybe we will skip it altogether and just roll it in with the baptism but to me that's more formal and less fun. Maybe we will just have a barbecue and go "here's kiddo btw" lol.

[coalifetime]

I had a shower with baby #1 and a mother's blessing with baby #2 with the beautiful beads as a highlight.    We have given most baby items away and I am thinking that I would like another mother's blessing with no gifts. 

[SunnyMuffin]

No one threw me a shower with my first.  My mom and Mil both mentioned it at some point but neither actually got around to planning one.  I was bummed about it since everyone else seems to have them and it would be fun to celebrate the baby... anyways.

I wont be having one this time.  I have no reason to expect that anyone will plan one

[lolliegee]

Originally Posted by SunnyMuffin 

No one threw me a shower with my first.  My mom and Mil both mentioned it at some point but neither actually got around to planning one.  I was bummed about it since everyone else seems to have them and it would be fun to celebrate the baby... anyways.

I wont be having one this time.  I have no reason to expect that anyone will plan one

Oh, that's so sad! I hope someone decides to throw you one this time!

[talldarkeyes]

If I am having a boy, yes, but if its a girl, no. People from my church usually throw baby showers for those that want/might need them. A lot of precious handmade gifts too! There haven't been a ton of babies in our church recently so when one is born we really like to celebrate!

[dayiscoming2006]

If I had friends or family to throw me a shower, I'd be all about it. My baby stuff is getting worn out and I gave a bunch of it away thinking I was done after number 3. LOL

My playpen has holes, my cloth diapers are getting really worn, yep. I think having some kind of party is nice and just make a registry with the thing you actually do need and then a side suggestion thing about gift cards or money being useful since you have a lot of things and may need to buy other stuff for baby when they get older, like food, clothes, etc. You could then also add that gifts are optional. That's what I think I'd do in your situation.

[ashleybrook]

i haven't talked to dh about it yet....but i doubt we'll have anything. we've got most of what we need to from our little guy...and everything at the beginning was gender neutral since we didn't know. 

[SunnyMuffin]

Originally Posted by lolliegee 


Oh, that's so sad! I hope someone decides to throw you one this time!

lol! I didnt mean for it to sound so pitiful. I think its more of a first time mom thing so I would feel weird having one this time.  I'm usually the "planner" when it comes to things but there was no chance I was planning my own shower, thats a no no. 

[CountryMommy]

My girlfriend threw me a wonderful shower after #1 was born, I didn't need/want one after #2 and feel the same this time but the baby beads/necklace baby warming party idea sounds great!

[lolliegee]

If I am actually having a girl like I suspect, then it would be nice to have one, but I don't expect it. I mean, this is my 6th baby after all. But, I have absolutely no girly things at all! Then again, I only really need a car seat which, the one I want is too expensive for someone to give as a gift. So who knows. That said, I lover a baby shower. I'll go no matter how many kids someone has. Each child is so precious, why not have a celebration for each?!

[here we are]

I dont want anyone pitying me either even thought i find it sad myself. I cant expect a shower or gifts b/c i just dont know anyone with any extra money, and if i did, it would be money they needed for themselves. I think its just my station in life. I knew it was going to be hard having a baby with "below poverty" income. Maybe i am just too isolated in my life to ask for hand me downs, i am trying to offer to buy used stuff from people and not getting responses yet , which i am not letting it bother me, but its just a lot of extra burden wondering how am i going to do this. I grew up much worse off, so i guess i have made a little progress. I do secretly wish i could get everything i need though, and find a pass me downs buddy for life. I worry my family will think of my pregnancy as more of a burden than a joy, due to my struggle just to buy food and basics, but hopefully theyll change when they meet the baby, even though i am a pretty private person, just caught up with day to day survival. Sometimes i even think of adoption b/c i may not have enough to give my baby, but i am trying to figure it out. Well, didnt want to come back to the group, but here i am again .Maybe someone else can relate.

[here we are]

Cant sleep due to snoring! And cant move b/c theres no where else to go. So i am laying here thinking about what i wrote, and wanted to add that i will have my own showering of myself b/c i have saved a good chunk of money. I planned for years, staying in very cheap living situations just to make it possible that i did have options. Now its just a matter of buying the right things. Lately i am debating fitted diapers vs prefold, b/c i know i can buy them, but everything adds up and once my money is gone its gone. And then theres buying something comfy to sit on which is driving me. I think i will need to start more threads, its hard figuring out where everything belongs since its all so interconnected.

[vireoes]

here we go: try garage sales and second hand stores.  You can get lots of baby basics cheaply that way. I got lots of things for my first that way, since we don't live near family or friends for hand me downs. That will allow you to save money for the things that you want to get new.

[InLove2009]

Originally Posted by SunnyMuffin 

lol! I didnt mean for it to sound so pitiful. I think its more of a first time mom thing so I would feel weird having one this time.  I'm usually the "planner" when it comes to things but there was no chance I was planning my own shower, thats a no no. 

Why is it a no no? I would go to a baby shower that someone threw for themselves! One of my friends did that, and it was super nice. She did not feel guilty, because she paid for everything herself and therefore could just do what she wanted. 

I think I will end up throwing my own, because no one offered for my wedding to do a bridal shower and I did my own then as well. It was nice, many people came. I Think people are just worried about the costs of throwing a shower, but they would go if someone else did it. :) 

[dayiscoming2006]

I wish I would have thought to throw my own baby shower. I almost didn't get one, but my church did throw me one with my first. With the other kids, some people gave me money or gifts, but we didn't have any shower. My best friend gave me $100 for my third. She's such a sweetheart. She was the only one that gave anything. I really appreciated it though of course I didn't expect anything.