Yeah, it's very normal. I'm past the grief of my almost 4yo DS's c/s, but looking back, I still have sadness that it worked out the way it did. It took me about 10 months to come through all the grief and questioning and emotional trauma of it all. My daughter's VBAC healed a lot for me, but even today, I still wish it could have been different. DS talks about his sister being born in the water, and I get a twinge that he was born on an operating table.
You're not alone. 
It's part of who you are now, which isn't bad.
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