Originally Posted by mommy68
So true! Focus on the blessing here THE CHILDREN BEING BORN!
It bugs me when people tell me not to dwell on my birth experience, but instead to be grateful for my child or focus on my child's well-being, as if somehow that should erase what I have experienced. For many women, the circumstances surrounding their c-section are fraught with tension and fear. They may have experienced abuse from doctors and nurses, serious side effects and complications, and long-term problems with their reproductive health. It should okay for them to feel sad, angry, or anxious about what they have experienced, and their well-being is just as important as their babies'. Telling a woman she should not feel what it is only natural for her to feel is unkind and damaging, and accompanying it with the well-meant advice to focus on her child feels like an accusation of being selfish and not caring enough about the health of her baby. We should be very careful about instructing women who've had a c-section and have experienced difficulties in coping with c-section to try to drown their own pain in gratefulness for their baby. I know it's usually meant to be uplifting or encouraging, but often just makes women feel worse, like they don't matter and they aren't good mothers.
With that said, it's perfectly normal to be sad or angry or upset about your c-section, and it's perfectly normal for other women's birth experiences to dredge up painful memories for you. Grieving and coming to terms with what you experienced is important to the healing process, and I don't think it can be rushed. The advice here to find a support group is excellent, and if you find that your thoughts about your c-section are getting in the way of your every day life, I'd encourage you to seek counseling, with someone who specializes in birth trauma if you can.
It's been 17 months for me, and I'm still not over what I experienced.