Originally Posted by deannaggg
I don't understand why the majority of replies to this post seem to garner animosity, I in no way insinuated that I am an expert, I am simply stating that many may NOT find joy in parenting, or rather may have things that aggravate them and discourage them.
While we're not really supposed to reference other threads, I'm going to knowingly break this rule this time.
I'd guess you've garnered animosity from your insulting, condescending "I'm better than the rest of you, and I'm right and if you disagree with me, you're wrong" posts in the closed thread. I'm a SAHM myself, and those were some of the most obnoxious posts I've read here in a looonnng time.
If I was to offer a smile to someone who seems agitated in public, does this mean I am patronizing them, looking down on them for their grumpy mood? I think not. I am simply trying to share empathy, and say, "we have all been there"
If more of us spent time LIFTING and encouraging, imagine the good we can do!
Nice thought. You should try it.
Just out of curiousity, how bad was your birth-related PTSD, and how hard was it to hold your stillborn child, and how many of your children have special needs? (My PTSD was pretty freaking bad. It was harder than there are words for to hold my stillborn son. And, only one of my children - probably - has special needs, but we haven't even figured out exactly what's going on with him, let alone the best way to address it.)
How long have you been struggling to put food on the table, and not always succeeding? How often does your husband emotionally - or physically - abuse you? How bad are his - or your - struggles with addiction and mental illness? (These aren't so much about me - I've dealt with most - not all - of these at some point in my past, but not anymore...but a lot of those "joyless" parents you see are dealing with these things...and trust me, it's not that simple to paste on a smile when your child's acting up, you have a migraine, it's 7:00 and you still have to walk the groceries home and make dinner after a crappy day at work. It's hard to be joyful when someone is bouncing you off the walls, because you made chicken, and he wanted a roast.)
How long has your sex life sucked, because your husband is actually gay? (That one's me again - ex, though, not my dh.)
How long have you been struggling with chronic health problems? (Lots of people.)
How long ago did you have the massive heart attack that's left you unable to work?
How long have you been single?
In case you haven't got the message yet - you know what works for you - that doesn't mean it works for everybody else. Every single parent out there is dealing with a different situation than any other parent. Compared to some other parents, those differences are small. Compared to others, those differences are huge.
I love being a SAHM, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Yeah - I have crappy days. I'm effing tired. That doesn't mean I need someone coming along and telling me how to enjoy myself...or telling me the "right" way to parent.