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What did YOU do to your parents?

post #1 of 41
Thread Starter 
OK folks, I'm hoping for some good sports! We have the "What did your parents do to you?" thread, all good fun. But I'm wondering if any of us got our "revenge" for all the questionable and downright bad parenting we were subjected to? For laughs, can we tell some of the worst things we did to our parents?


I was an awful, awful, awful child, and I have many tales of naughty, but I will go first with one of my favorite memories.

I was a teenager, and I swore. Effin' shocking, I know. So my mother heard me swear, and of course I was not too old for soap in the mouth, no ma'am. Except we had no bar soap. So she squirted in a swig of dish soap. A big swig. And I, at 14, swallowed it.
And I tell you, every moment of stomach-churning foamy-vomiting pain was worth it to see her face and watch her frantically try to retrieve all that soap from my mouth, screaming "YOU SWALLOWED IT?!?!?!" as loudly as she could. Pleased with myself to this day, as you can tell.



So do go on ladies (and gents?), regale us with your tales of naughty, those happy moments of triumph in the face of parental... well, whatever your parents presented you with.
post #2 of 41

Not myself, but I remember my sister (more than once) would answer my mom's innocent "Well, what would you like for breakfast today?" with "I'm not telling!!".

 

 

I also totally snooped through my mom's closet and dresser for peeks at our Christmas/birthday gifts.  And would open and re-wrap gifts under the tree when I didn't know automatically what they were (mostly mine, sometimes other ones too).  shy.gif  And I did this for years.  

 

 

And I anticipate some good stories ahead.  lurk.gif

post #3 of 41
My parents were incredibly conservative. Still are pretty much, no swearing, no drugs etc. I had to have a physical before I left for college (required). The family dog knew I was leaving for school and have me a big long lecture about drugs in general, MJ in particular while my mom was in there. I didn't say a word, we checked out and walked out of the building. Looked her right in the eye and said, "too late!" And kept on walking. We've never spoken of it in 20+ years
post #4 of 41
Ha. Oh man.

I cut my long, blonde, beautiful hair the night before my mothers wedding at 9. I shaved my head at 12. My mother was a hairdresser. She cried and put me in therapy for shaving my head. I would come home from sleepovers in junior high and high school with a whole new hair color. At least she was home when I died my fair hair black. What did she expect? She worked on hair and was/is obsessed with looks, of course I rebelled by going crazy with mine. I'm pierced and tattooed. Oh yeah I got two tattoos while living with her but I was 21! She freaked.

In high school, since I had a car, I missed my curfew so often that she finally abolished it and the rule was for me to call and leave a message before 2 am if I was going to be later than 2. I was so responsible and took complete care of my sister when we had her so I thought that was fair.

She caught me smoking a couple times in Jr high.

Sent from my Kindle Fire using Tapatalk 2
post #5 of 41

As a child:

 

I cut both my own hair and my little sisters. I also got into a bottle of vitamins (way up in a cupboard - I climbed the counter while my mom was asleep) and took them all. They contained iron. Oops.

 

I wandered off - more than once. I liked to walk and daydream, so I'd just leave if I felt like it. Most times, they found me within a few blocks, but once, a friend of my parents (who didn't even know I was missing, although the police were looking for me) was driving along about 15 blocks from our house, and spotted me, happily pushing my doll carriage. He pulled over and asked me if I wanted a ride home, and I thought that sounded great, so he took me home. My poor parents.

 

I drank turpentine - long story, but it was totally an accident on my parent's part,and they didnt' know. My sister drank more of it, and ended up in the hospital.

 

As a preteen/teen...*sigh*:

 

I got suspended in grade seven for mouthing off my teacher (who was, in fairness to myself, a verbally abusive bully).

 

I sugared my principals' gas tank at the end of 7th grade (no excuse for that one - I was a jerk). Mom and dad made me pair my share of the cost for flushing her engine out of my hard-earned paper route money. It actually took years before I felt bad about it.

 

I got in trouble for fights at school multiple times, starting about halfway through sixth grade, and ending in 9th grade. I had severe PMS, and tended to lash out violently physically whenever someone called me a name, teased me, or whatever, while I was in that state. My mom eventually found something about vitamin B deficiency and anger management and put me on a B complex....and my issues tapered off over the next month or two.

 

I got suspended again - another act of vandalism (although this one involved soaping windshields, and no actual damage - it was a club initiation - I was an idiot), and then I mouthed off my Vice-Principal. In fact, I swore at him. In retrospect, he was in the wrong, but I was a total jerk about it.

 

Generally, I just hung out with a crowd that really had my mom worried. My friends at school didn't worry her too much, but my "outside" friends did. I can see why, since most of them (at least the ones I have any knowledge of) now have criminal records, of a non-trivial sort.

 

I was really screwed up as a teen.

post #6 of 41

Hmm. I was a ghastly child. They took me to a behavioral psychologist once (who wrote them a glowing letter about how smart and lovely I was - hah!)

 

Specifically, though?

 

I once came in from the garden with my hands clotted with mud, and washed them in a warm sudsy sink that just happened to be nice and full in the bathroom. Halfway through I realised Mum's newly-finished, large cross-stitch was soaking in it prior to being framed. (In my defense, Mum and I both handled that issue quite well. I 'fessed up, she - after an initial "Go away before I snap your neck" moment - reassured me that it wasn't deliberate; and the cross-stitch survived. I mentioned it a few years later and she'd forgotten the entire incident.)

 

When I was really small, I used to sit next to my baby sister's carseat, which was filled with foam rubber, and the cover was torn. I used to while away the time by sticking little pieces of foam rubber in my ears. For months. The doctor and Mum were both very puzzled. I ended up with grommets... not sure if it was directly related, but anyway, it caused a bit of havoc.

 

I ran away from home at the age of seven or so, wearing only a short nightie, carrying a swag made of a crocheted blanket, containing my teddy bear, some powdered juice concentrate packets and a dozen raw eggs. Stopped at the end of the driveway because I wasn't allowed to cross the road. My family hasn't let me forget that one.

 

I threw a major tantrum in class once, and got kicked out, because the teacher wanted to play a recording of a short story I'd written which ended up on some kids' radio program. I was livid because a) it wasn't a very good story - I wrote it in a time limit, so I aimed for "done", not "good"; and b) I absolutely hated other people seeing my work, and felt it wasn't the teacher's right to expose my story without permission. I still feel vaguely justified about that one... and the teacher is currently in jail for pedophilia, so... there you go... I guess.

 

I once bit my older sister, and was shocked at how much trouble I got into. After all, I hit her all the time and Mum never got that mad; it seemed very arbitrary. :p I also got in huge trouble once for making her head bleed - I "only" whacked her with a teddy, but it had a little metal ring on the back to wind up so it could play music, and as luck would have it, that's what made contact.

 

If we were having a fight when someone rang up, it would infuriate me beyond belief how Mum could switch from shouting to saying "Hello?" in a nicey-nice voice. I felt it was the height of hypocrisy... so I'd deliberately scream as loudly as I could in the background, to embarrass her.

 

As a teenager, I'd sneak out when I was meant to be in bed... to go on Dad's computer and post Lord of the Rings parodies on a LOTR fansite. As teenage rebellion goes one could do worse, but Mum and Dad got really furious about it if they caught me. Dad stayed on dialup for years after everyone else switched, so it cost the earth; and after all, I was meant to be sleeping. Plus, of course, it was THE INTERNET and I would meet axe murderers. Sigh.

 

Hmm, all this is reminding me just how angsty my childhood was. I think I lived in a permanent state of ill-suppressed rage. Chip on my shoulder the size of a house, and a strong if erratic sense of justice. That, and weird family politics. One sister would give me the death glare and kick me under the table if I ordered the same thing as her in a restaurant, because it was "copying"... that sort of thing.

post #7 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smokering View Post

Hmm. I was a ghastly child. They took me to a behavioral psychologist once (who wrote them a glowing letter about how smart and lovely I was - hah!)

 

The one psychiatrist my mom took me to talked to me for an hour, and then informed my mom that I suffered from "an unusually severe maladjustment to my peer group". I told mom that, if she insisted I see a psychiatrist, I wanted a different one, because this one was nice enough, but kind of slow. Why? Because, if he'd asked me to simply tell him what my issue was, my answer would have been almost exactly what he "concluded" after an hour. (I would have probably said "so-called peer group".) Wow - I had an attitude.
post #8 of 41

Oh, my gosh - I didn't read your whole post.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smokering View Post


This:

 

I threw a major tantrum in class once, and got kicked out, because the teacher wanted to play a recording of a short story I'd written which ended up on some kids' radio program. I was livid because a) it wasn't a very good story - I wrote it in a time limit, so I aimed for "done", not "good"; and b) I absolutely hated other people seeing my work, and felt it wasn't the teacher's right to expose my story without permission. I still feel vaguely justified about that one... and the teacher is currently in jail for pedophilia, so... there you go... I guess.

 

is soooo something I can relate to. I had the same kind of view of things. I never really phrased it that way, but I really felt that a lot of teachers really disrespected students, in a wide variety of ways, even with the best of intentions (and some of them didn't even have those).

 

I got in my seventh grade teacher's face once about an art project, because we were doing silhouettes, and the girls had to put theirs on pink backgrounds. I argued about it, and said that art should be about self-expression, and I liked blue better than pink (I didn't hate pink yet, but I think this whole thing was the root of my decades long hate of the colour). He laid down the law and said I was not allowed to use the blue paper. So, I did it on stupid pink. A year later, I'd have just taken an F for the assignment, but I was still a teacher's pet type at that point. (This was the same teacher who once suspended me for mouthing him off, but that was after the art project incident.)

 

Chip on my shoulder the size of a house, and a strong if erratic sense of justice.

 

Yeah. That.

 

post #9 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsGregory View Post

So do go on ladies (and gents?), regale us with your tales of naughty, those happy moments of triumph in the face of parental... well, whatever your parents presented you with.

 

I never purposefully tried to upset or rebel against my parents. They were not punitive or harsh parents.

 

As a child I frequently used my mom's sewing scissors to cut paper- drove her crazy. I would also paw through her fabric and stuff and leave it a mess.

 

I put a hot pan down on a chair and ruined a chair.

 

I never once did laundry or dishes my mom's way. I didn't see that her way was any better.

 

I once told my dad that he had a big mouth. I meant that he could eat faster because his mouth was bigger than my small child sized mouth but it was misunderstood and I got in trouble.

 

I ate with my fingers for a long time as a kid. I think that really annoyed my parents.

 

I insisted on shouting goodnight at the top of my lungs to everyone individually in the house multiple times. I'm sure that was hideously annoying. I would then wait until everyone else was in bed then turn the light on and read all night.

 

My sister and I would pretend to sword fight with pool sticks in the basement.

 

We slid down the carpeted stairs in a cardboard box smashing into the closed door at the bottom so it would crash open and knock my mother's spoon collection off the wall. There were multiple levels of annoyance and safety issues there but so satisfying!


Edited by onlyzombiecat - 11/29/12 at 1:49pm
post #10 of 41

To this day, the proudest moment in my life is the day I hit my step-father back. After one last retalitory slap in the face, the SOB never hit me again, mwahahaaha! biggrinbounce.gif

 

From what I hear, I was the world's easiest child. Even when I suspected the authority figures were wrong and stupid, I usually complied because... I was cowardly. I hated my home life so much that I started drafting a plan to run away from home with a similarly troubled friend when we were about 10 years old, but it never went anywhere because we couldn't figure out some logistics such as how we would be able to school without being recaptured. 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Smokering View Post

I ran away from home at the age of seven or so, wearing only a short nightie, carrying a swag made of a crocheted blanket, containing my teddy bear, some powdered juice concentrate packets and a dozen raw eggs. Stopped at the end of the driveway because I wasn't allowed to cross the road. My family hasn't let me forget that one.

 

I threw a major tantrum in class once, and got kicked out, because the teacher wanted to play a recording of a short story I'd written which ended up on some kids' radio program. I was livid because a) it wasn't a very good story - I wrote it in a time limit, so I aimed for "done", not "good"; and b) I absolutely hated other people seeing my work, and felt it wasn't the teacher's right to expose my story without permission. I still feel vaguely justified about that one... and the teacher is currently in jail for pedophilia, so... there you go... I guess.

 

My mom tells me that I once tried to run away from home when I was too young to remember. I think it was right after we moved to a new state around age 3. I tried to walk back to Texas but only made it a half-block or so before I reached a street corner and sat down in frustration because I didn't know which direction Texas was in. That's where they found me.

 

re: second quoted paragraph, you were totally justified. I mean, if you didn't try a rational discussion before the tantrum, I suppose you should have, but otherwise... justified.

post #11 of 41

I was a good kid, I'd do things like sneak food but nothing major. I wet the bed(not on purpose!), which caused all kinds of grief, I got spanked with the belt frequently for that. Starting in middle school my grades sank below B's so I was grounded most of the time for that. A teacher in 9th grade finally talked to my mom about me being withdrawn and having no friends and she stopped grounding me, and things got much better. I talked in class alot, which resulted in being paddled in school then the belt at home. In 8th/9th grade, I snuck and listened to music that was not gospel or classical and got caught a couple of times. I didn't have tantrums, outbursts were rare, I did not talk disrespectfully to my parents. Looking back at myself, I was a pretty good kid, better than most. Until I was 17, when I couldn't take the controlling any longer, packed everything important to me that would fit in my 88 nissan sentra, and left before everyone woke up. That one summer, I smoked pot and drank alcohol. I guess the worst I did to my parents was run away, that must be hurtful, and I have sat awake all night a few times when my 16 year old was very angry to make sure she wasn't going to leave. If I hadn't gotten pregnant I would never have come back home- I was not in a horrible situation, I had a job, a place to live, I wasn't having to sleep with anyone or deal drugs, I was one very lucky runaway!

post #12 of 41

Most of what you all are saying doesn't sound bad, either, just normal kid stuff!

post #13 of 41

I probably don't fit into this thread!

 

I was the youngest of 4.  5 years younger than my near-oldest sibling and 18 years younger than the oldest.  ALL of us were good kids.  Our parents never fought, never yelled at us (certainly never hit us) and provided unconditional love and support.

 

We were a career military family, which meant transfers every couple of years around the country.  Dad did 2 tours in Vietnam and other overseas deployments, which made Mom into a pretty much "single" parent, overseeing the family and home while Dad was gone. 

 

I loved my parents very much and was a good child and was treated the same in return.  Never did anything to cause them grief or got in trouble.  Probably what most of you would call boring!!  I got good grades, kept them apprised as to my whereabouts (after school at friends, etc), didn't keep my room as neat as they would have liked (but, wasn't punished for it) and was, in general, what I would hope to have in a child.  Heck, in college, I called them the day after the first time I drank and told them about it!!!  We were always very close.

 

In my parents' senior years, the last 15, I cared for them through strokes, dementia, incontinence, broken bones and all (with absolutely no help or support from my siblings).  Dad died in 2008 and Mom died in July.

 

I'd give just about anything to have them alive again.  I'm glad the memories they had of me were not bad.  My memories of them are gold. 

post #14 of 41

I never did anything purposefully to spite them, or to their faces.  I chose the round-a-bout, sneaky ways to do what I wanted.  And that's mostly why I did what I did--because I wanted to.

 

I snuck out at night, especially once I had my car, and stayed out until 3 or 4.  Only drove home drunk once.  orngtongue.gif  Mostly I didn't drink or do drugs.  Mostly.

 

I lost my virginity in my bedroom after having snuck my boyfriend in for more innocent visits several times before.

 

I basically just ignored my parents, and they were exhausted from raising my two sisters before me.

 

ETA: After I moved away from home, I went hitchhiking with my then-boyfriend who had his own axe to grind against authority.  My parents disliked him, and my mom hated what I was doing, and my lifestyle terrified her.  I had flown the nest, but I still gave her a ton of grief.

post #15 of 41
Sweetsilver-i have two teen girls and a 10 year old girl...what do you mean by your parents being exhausted raising your sisters? Did they give up or become more permissive?
post #16 of 41

My two older sisters gave them a lot of grief--everything I did they did, but they stayed out more, got drunk more, got in trouble more (shoplifting), fought more.  They could not tune my parents out, let them have their say and then ignore it like I did.  My parents fought and fought with them and they fought back.  Yes, they gave up.  They tried guilting me into not staying home, but I was never punished. (Sisters had both moved out at that time.)

post #17 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by onlyzombiecat View Post

We slid down the carpeted stairs in a cardboard box smashing into the closed door at the bottom so it would crash open and knock my mother's spoon collection off the wall. There were multiple levels of annoyance and safety issues there but so satisfying!

 

Minus the spoon collection, we did that. Sooooo much fun!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post

I wandered off - more than once. I liked to walk and daydream, so I'd just leave if I felt like it. Most times, they found me within a few blocks, but once, a friend of my parents (who didn't even know I was missing, although the police were looking for me) was driving along about 15 blocks from our house, and spotted me, happily pushing my doll carriage. He pulled over and asked me if I wanted a ride home, and I thought that sounded great, so he took me home. My poor parents.
 

 

I did that, too. I'd take a walk, no destination in mind, and it didn't occur to me to tell anyone.  I was a goofy kid and would just go visit people in the neighborhood.  My sister eventually married the boy next door (literally, next door) and at their wedding his parents gleefully reminded me how I just walked over and invited myself in not long after they moved in. Seriously, I was preschool aged. Maybe Kindergarten. They (sister's in-laws) thought I was so precious. I just shake my head.

 

My hair was getting in my face, which drove me up a wall (sensory thing; I can't abide the 'side swipe' hair hanging in the face style that's popular), so I sat on my parent's bathroom floor and cut my bangs. I'm sure it was a chop job, too. When I looked down and saw the mess I ran off. eyesroll.gif Of course Mom came to me first and asked me if I'd cut my hair and left the mess. No, my brother did it.  eyesroll.gif  So she asked him and of course he hadn't done it.

 

I had a crush on the substitute teacher in middle school band. So I stole his keys and tossed them on the roof. duh.gif bag.gif  I didn't know this was actually the band teacher's big key chain with door keys to all the schools she worked at. Oy.  I don't know how they figured out it was me, but later I got hauled out of class to the principle's office where I got talked to by the principle and the school counselor and horror of horrors, the sub -his name is Roger-  was there. And of course they called my mom.  SO embarrassing.  Once it was clear that I wasn't being malicious, just ridiculous, they simply impressed upon me how alarmed and worried they'd been, and how unfair it was to Roger because he thought he'd lost the keys. 

 

I grew up sort of parallel to Roger's career, and now we're friends. He was the choir/drama teacher in high school, he took over my dh's beloved college choir professor's job, and now directs the community symphony choir that my brother-in-law sings in. In my defense, he is very cute. When dh and I were in college Roger came out of the closet and got divorced. My dh and his friends helped Roger move his ex wife's piano to her new apartment.

 

I suppose that's kind of off topic.  The worst things I 'did to' my parents, from my perspective, is lie about whether I was doing my homework, and being found out when report cards went home, and later have sex with my first boyfriend. Oh, and drop out of college. I didn't smoke, didn't drink, didn't do drugs, never snuck out of the house at night to meet people on the other side of town. I wish I could ask my mom for her perspective. Are those the worst things I did to them? Would her answer be different? 

 

Interesting question. Interesting wording.

post #18 of 41

like another poster mentioned, I didn't rebel or intentionally try to upset my parents.  I guess it just wasn't in my nature.

 

My dad was extremely lax about almost every typical teen issue.  As long as I did my chores, followed the house rules (nothing too odd or extreme) and behaved responsibily, I was basically allowed to do whatever I wanted. 

 

I had an older step-brother of sorts who got caught every single time he tried to do ANYTHING.  He was just so dumb about it, simple stuff like drinking beer and forgetting to throw away the cans, smoking and putting the butts out in the driveway, that sort of stuff.  I got the benefit of watching him screw up over and over again so by the time I was a teen, I learned plenty from his mistakes.  

 

My mother was rather irrational about a lot of really silly things, like how much hair spray I wore.   I probably drove her nuts by just being a normal teen and she has since told me that in hindsight, I was a good teenager.

 

The "worst" thing I did to her was that I had sex all of two times without telling her.  She was so adament about me telling her prior to having sex that it started to get creppy, she was obsessed with the fear I would get pregnant and it consumed her life.  She completely flipped when she found a condom and wrapper in my trash can.  Hey, I followed the house rules, nothing but tp in the trash can!

post #19 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by journeymom View Post

 

I had a crush on the substitute teacher in middle school band. So I stole his keys and tossed them on the roof. duh.gifbag.gif  I didn't know this was actually the band teacher's big key chain with door keys to all the schools she worked at. Oy.  I don't know how they figured out it was me, but later I got hauled out of class to the principle's office where I got talked to by the principle and the school counselor and horror of horrors, the sub -his name is Roger-  was there. And of course they called my mom.  SO embarrassing.  Once it was clear that I wasn't being malicious, just ridiculous, they simply impressed upon me how alarmed and worried they'd been, and how unfair it was to Roger because he thought he'd lost the keys. 

 

OMG!  Too funny!  Thanks for the laugh, I really needed it today.

 

I remember getting a talking to from a teacher in 5th grade because I somehow got my hands on a pack of matches and showed it to a friend.  You would have thought I tried to burn the school down !

post #20 of 41
Quote:

Originally Posted by journeymom View Post

 

I did that, too. I'd take a walk, no destination in mind, and it didn't occur to me to tell anyone.  I was a goofy kid and would just go visit people in the neighborhood.  My sister eventually married the boy next door (literally, next door) and at their wedding his parents gleefully reminded me how I just walked over and invited myself in not long after they moved in. Seriously, I was preschool aged. Maybe Kindergarten. They (sister's in-laws) thought I was so precious. I just shake my head.

 

Yeah - the time my parents' friend found me, I think I was about three. I thought nothing of it, but I look at dd2, and can't even imagine how freaked out I'd be. I must have been gone a while to have walked 15 blocks on those little legs!

 

My hair was getting in my face, which drove me up a wall (sensory thing; I can't abide the 'side swipe' hair hanging in the face style that's popular), so I sat on my parent's bathroom floor and cut my bangs. I'm sure it was a chop job, too. When I looked down and saw the mess I ran off. eyesroll.gif Of course Mom came to me first and asked me if I'd cut my hair and left the mess. No, my brother did it.  eyesroll.gif  So she asked him and of course he hadn't done it.

 

I remember the time I hacked up my bangs...one of those weird, crystal clear memories from early childhood. I was about four, and I was trying to cut a single hair in half, vertically. It...didn't work...at all.

 

I had a crush on the substitute teacher in middle school band. So I stole his keys and tossed them on the roof. duh.gifbag.gif  I didn't know this was actually the band teacher's big key chain with door keys to all the schools she worked at. Oy.  I don't know how they figured out it was me, but later I got hauled out of class to the principle's office where I got talked to by the principle and the school counselor and horror of horrors, the sub -his name is Roger-  was there. And of course they called my mom.  SO embarrassing.  Once it was clear that I wasn't being malicious, just ridiculous, they simply impressed upon me how alarmed and worried they'd been, and how unfair it was to Roger because he thought he'd lost the keys. 

 

Oh, wow - I never had a crush on a teacher, but you reminded me of some of the (childish) ways I retaliated against our bullying 7th grade teacher. Over the course of the year, my classmates and I (working as a small group - oddly enough, two of them were mostly my sworn enemies..except where Mr. M. was concerned) taped bra ads from the newspaper onto the film screen, loaded up the book he was reading us with confetti, so it fell in his lap, replaced his Sen-Sen with chocolate covered ants, and...there was something else. I also squirted him, quite openly, with disappearing ink...

 

 

My poor mom had an awfully bad time with me. In retrospect, over half of the stress would have been eliminated if I hadn't been at school. School and I were like oil and water...except the oil was on fire, or something.

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