Feeling I have failed -- sending DD to public school starting next week

[1ColoradoMomma]

Ugh. So I have been homeschooling my two kids for almost 2.5 years now. Dd just turned 9 and is in 4th grade. DS is 7 and in 2nd grade. We moved from Colorado to Oregon this past August and don't have the support system set up like we did in Colorado. DD is very bright but very bossy and complains a lot. She complains about almost every single thing in the day. The other day I had finally had it. I feel that homeschooling (which she does love being at home) is a privilege which takes a great deal of dedication on the parent's part (as you well know), and I was just too tired of being disrespected countless times. We filled out the application to the local public school (the good charter schools all have impossible waiting lists). She is supposed to start Monday. I just talked to the assistant principal, and we decided to put her into the 3rd grade home room with kids her age and move her up for math. The 4th grade class reportedly has more disciplinary issues. :^o

I am heart-broken. We have had such fun homeschooling and traveling around to countless national and state parks. I love having the kids at home. I know that DS will be glad to not have his sister picking on him so frequently, but I can't help feel that our home has been shattered. Perhaps we could use this as some time apart where she makes new friends

[onatightrope]

You aren't failing!  You're adjusting.  You're being flexible.  You're meeting your family's needs.

I've known a couple families who have put kids in school for similar reasons, and it's worked out really well. 

((Hugs))

[Emaye]

I am with Onatightrope here.  If homeschooling is not working anymore (either for the child or parent) then changing it is the sensible thing to do.  

I am sorry you are having a difficult go of it now.  Maybe with a little break, you can start doing it again next year.  Maybe it turns out that she loves going to school and this was all for the best.  Which ever way it works out in the end, right now you have taken a step to address a situation that is not working -- a good move on your part.  

E

Edited by Emaye - 11/29/12 at 10:55pm

[AAK]

Originally Posted by onatightrope 

You aren't failing!  You're adjusting.  You're being flexible.  You're meeting your family's needs.

I've known a couple families who have put kids in school for similar reasons, and it's worked out really well. 

((Hugs))

Exactly!  Homeschooling is great, but really you need to do what is best for the family at the moment.  This may be just the thing!  Good luck, I wish you and your family well.   I am sure there will be a bit of adjustment, but that happens whenever change is in the air.

Amy 

[Fillyjonk]

Oh I am with you. Agree, you are adjusting. I have a 9 year old who can be incredibly rude and I have had it with him MANY times, the only thing that's kept him out of school to date is the faff factor involved in getting everyone there twice a day for drop off and pick up. 

I totally agree that homeschooling is a privilege and its not on to be rude constantly. And I do think that some kids who have been raised in a very loving, gentle, everything done "right" way can then actually be pretty obnoxious because they don't realise that actually they are pretty fortunate. I don't know what the way round this is, I still think its the right way to parent, but I've thought a few times now that letting my son stay at home when he is rude and disrespectful is actually quite possibly not helping him. The issue in our case is specifically related to homeschooling, and more specifically, he is surrounded by unschooled kids, his good friends are unschooled and we are just not unschoolers.

(the deal we have nowadays is that he gets a stack of work to do and has to do it. If he wants help, he has to ask for it AND behave nicely and respectfully while the person is helping him. Otherwise he has to do it alone. We've been really strict with this. If the work isn't done by the end of the week, it has to be done over the weekend)

[1ColoradoMomma]

Ladies, Goddesses, thank you for your words of support. It truly is comforting hearing compassion and not judgement from you. I do hope that this is temporary, especially since I am not excited about the school and her being in third grade again, but better tot be with a nicer group of kids. You are right that some time to breathe could be good for all of us. I guess when we look to buy a house this summer that we actually need to consider school districts :^o

[geemom]

Hi Colorado mama, kudos for your courage. How are you coping w the transition so far?

[1ColoradoMomma]

Thank you so much for checking back! It was not going well at all as far as class went although she did get shuffled into a math class that she loved. The rest of the day was wasted in a third grade class (she is supposed to be in fourth although she is young) where the kids talked incessantly while the teacher yelled in an attempt to be heard. Can you imagine? She hated it.
So I just managed to get her into a public Montessori charter school starting January 2! I don't know that much about Montessori but am hoping it is more inline with our schooling philosophy. I am feeling excited about the possibility of this working!