Originally Posted by Sofiamomma
It's okay. I don't feel attacked. This whole discussion has been profoundly enlightening, from the pick and choose aspect, to the spanking tangent, to the children deserve respect topic. And speaking of respect I was responding to the very last paragraph in the post you are referring to (sorry, I haven't figured out how to quote, yet).
I'm curious, how old are you? Is it possible that you are an Indigo? It sounds like it. I do appreciate hearing what your POV was as a child, because I was not like that and it sounds like you were a lot like Sophia is.
T There's a "Quote" button at the bottom of every post, if you click on it it'll quote the entire post in your reply.
I'm 26. I've read a bit about Indigos and the description definately fits me, especially as a child. Many perfect strangers have mentioned that I am an Indigo sort, or that I have a lot of indigo in my aura, for most of my life. I think I'd be kind of old for it, but hey, it's all good. :LOL
|Just tonight she was wanting to know why children get "a talking to" when they make a mistake and adults do not. I tried to explain that adults *do* sometimes get a talking to as well as other consequences, but I think she may have been driving at the whole adults go by different rules,children are equal, children should be respected the same as grownups thing, which of course is at the heart of AP. My one nagging frustration with this concept, though, is that if children are not different, do not need to be "raised" then why do people not just arrive on this planet as adults, kwim?
Okay, this is gonna sound at first like it's all semantics, but hear me out. Children don't need to be "raised", they need to be "guided". Raising implies directing the child along a certain path, while guidance implies an awareness that while a child needs to choose their path, it may not be the one which would be ideal for you. It's like the difference between "training" and "teaching"; one implies coersion, the other does not.
I honestly believe that children do not need to be coerced. They do need guidance, but if they need direction they tend to ask for it. I can't just "train" a child because I don't expect them to mind me; I never would have tolerated that as a kid. It was always a mystery to me that parents who did this were surprised when their children fought against them. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that the vast majority of adults simply don't remember what it felt like to be a child. I was very lucky in this respect, because my mother *did* remember. Her parents also remembered, and were generally more respectful towards her as a result.
Learning social rules is very difficult, especially when you're expected to interact with a group of the population who abides by different rules. I can remember a little old lady bending down towards me and saying "Oh, you're so cute! How old are you?" and I said "I'm two and a half. How old are you?" very politely. She was stunned, and she and her friend had a bit of a giggle about it as they walked away. I asked my mom about it and she said "It's not considered polite to ask adults how old they are." I said, "Why not? They're always asking me!" She said she had no idea, that it never made any sense to her as a child and it didn't make any sense to her as an adult.
So I learned a lesson, with no coersion: That adult rules don't make any sense, and that I wasn't the only person who thought so. And now, if I ask a child how old they are, and they ask me I tell them. I tend to abide by rules that make sense to me.
Kids have lots of things to learn, and quite frankly adults do too. (I know I do, at any rate!) That doesn't mean that they need to be raised, though, only that they need to be taught. Does that make any sense?