Any other second timers feeling maybe TOO laid back? « Back to Group Discussions

[lenny1027]

This is my second pregnancy, and whereas the last time I was super type-A and made sure I was getting everything in order and buying things we needed (and registering) even early on, I feel like this time around I'm not doing ANYTHING except taking care of myself as needed. I feel like this baby is going to show up and I'm not going to have anything prepared. I guess I need to get in gear, but I feel like it's so early. Maybe after we find out the sex (three weeks!) and name this little one I will feel more motivation. Anyone else feeling this way, or am I just a dud?

[Quinalla]

DH and I were super laid back too, until we found out it was twins. Even so we've been pretty laid back until the last few weeks where DH is basically nesting now I really want to get everything in order before the 3rd trimester as I don't think I'm going to be able to do much after that, but yeah we are way behind compared to last time for sure.

[Lynann]

Its pretty normal.

I get more and more laid back with each child. Really there isn't a whole lot for me to prepare this time. The only thing we NEED is a bigger vehicle, which we're saving up for, and we have all the baby "stuff" we'll ever need and then some.

I will launder all the clothes and diapers, but not until about a month before I'm due, and same goes with setting up the bassinet beside my bed etc, so for now it isn't like I'm falling behind. Saying that I didn't really do much preparation for my first until the last trimester, and everything was ready in plenty of time. So I may just be a way more laid back mama than most anyway.

[adventuregirl]

Totally laid back here, but that is just me in general. I really have done nothing to prepare other than find a mw and go to appts! I just started doing some reading. For me, its been 8 years and I wasn't planning on another (at least not in my former marriage), so have absolutely nothing for a baby, save for maybe a few pink blankets and special rattles. I don't usually do a lot of early preparation for things, but I do like the feeling of being prepared, so I am thinking about it lately, but no action. I think it will be a good winter project once the holidays pass, I'll need something to do then...

[CoBabyMaker]

I think you start to realize that all those little things are less important and your busy with kid number one.  I had things I wanted to get done in my second pregnancy but I ultimately I felt like if I had boobs, diapers and few blankets we would be ok.  I think it's normal to be a little more relaxed.

ETA: I also think if you are planning to find out the gender somethings just tend to wait until then.  If you want certain things to be gender specific then you have to wait.

[lenny1027]

Thanks, ladies! Glad to know it's not just me.

[nstewart]

I've been pretty laid back too.  With DS, we were doing a major house reno at this point in my pregnancy (like tearing out walls and a kitchen and putting in new windows and beams...) so it was tough to be laid back as we were on a tight schedule to get it done!  Plus I was really info hungry and did a ton of reading on pregnancy and childbirth.  This time, I've very casually read a few books on childbirth, just since we are planning a home birth this time.  But even then, I am kind of like, ok, been there, done that....

I am in the process of getting a doula, but that's more because people book up if you don't do that in advance.  Otherwise I think everything can wait for at least another 12 weeks or so (when I'm 30 weeks) and then we'll get DS's new bed and around 36 weeks I'll wash diapers and baby clothes etc.

I think part of being laid back the second time is that there's just less to get and to do to feel prepared (like, I'm not doing birth classes again) and like Co said, you realize all you really need is boobs, diapers, blankets, sleepers and a car seat.  Check, check, check, check.  I guess I'm ready for baby!

[BaileyB]

I think with #2 you also realize that stores will be open even after the baby comes, if you have forgotten anything you need. I have been feeling laid back about the baby coming but I have been really nesty too. I don't have really anything to buy for the baby that is a need so all that energy is going into making sure all my sticks look pretty (nest joke, probably not very funny). Also, I feel like spending a lot of fun time with DD is really important to me right now and I kinda just want to be the fun-cool mom until closer to when the baby is due.

[AmandaLynnH]

Um, can you be laid back with your first too?  I want to get stuff ready but know it's still super early.  I'm keeping an eye out for good diaper deals and whatnot but I am totally not my normal type A self here.  I can't really even be arsed into ready a pregnancy book.  

[aHikaru]

I was laid back with my first, but not with this one, I def feel like I could have been more prepared, but when DD was 3 days old I went out to get everything I procrastinated buying, which was pretty much everything. Needless to say I have already bought everything I procrastinated buying with DD, just waiting for a sale on nursing bras and tops at Target. 

[BaileyB]

Originally Posted by aHikaru 

I was laid back with my first, but not with this one, I def feel like I could have been more prepared, but when DD was 3 days old I went out to get everything I procrastinated buying, which was pretty much everything. Needless to say I have already bought everything I procrastinated buying with DD, just waiting for a sale on nursing bras and tops at Target. 

I just found out I still have my 2 best nursing bras! I was so excited! I thought I was going to have to get all new one's. Also, since this is my first non winter baby I don't have to worry about how to wear sweaters and still be able to nurse!

[aHikaru]

Originally Posted by BaileyB 

I just found out I still have my 2 best nursing bras! I was so excited! I thought I was going to have to get all new one's. Also, since this is my first non winter baby I don't have to worry about how to wear sweaters and still be able to nurse!

i wish I at least kept my nursing bras :( Our 4 year plan didn't include having another babe, so I figured if it happened again there would be something new and improved out. Of course we got pregnant a month before our 4 year plan was up :P 

[SplashingPuddle]

I have definitely felt more laid back this time - a good and bad thing. I found it very hard to remember prenatal vitamins, especially in the first trimester when it was most important. I was forgetful in my last pregnancy but there was a certain amount of first-time anxiety/energy that kept me motivated.  I also take a lot of anti-nausea medications which increase my feelings of being laid-back because I'm more tired. There seems to be less adrenaline this time to counter the exhaustion.

[Trisha Kalous]

I am feeling much more laid back this time.. the only thing we're really doing to get ready is having an organizer come to our house so we can figure out how to put an office space, baby space, 4 y/o space, sleeping space (and birthing space) in a 2 bedroom apt. She'll be here tomorrow, so hopefully that'll get a good jump on things! 

[pastormama]

Completely!  I keep forgetting I'm pregnant!  Haven't been reading any "don't do this - do this" books.  I re-read a few nutrition books and have been trying to eat well.  I think, for me, we got a lot of stuff that we didn't end up using (hello, useless crib!) - and I realized that you can't make a lot of decisions about items you need until you meet your new, special baby - and see what size/shape/personality s/he is, you know?  Like I need to buy some newborn dipes, but I'll wait until I see what baby's legs and body are like to make the best decision.  I'm usually a super-duper-typeA preparer.  But a PP was right - when you already have one, you're so focused on that one, and for me at least, the new baby still seems pretty theoretical when I already have one who demands my total attention!

[GabiCristian]

This is my #1, but I've been feeling way laid-back as well. I figure things will just happen how they happen, and as long as I have boobs and diapers I can make everything else work. I haven't bought anything for baby yet, partly because I want to wait until we find out the sex in January and partly because I still feel like it's way early (and partly because it still doesn't feel quite *real* yet--maybe that will come when I start to feel movement?). I don't have any maternity clothes yet. I've heard that you don't get as big with your first and I lost quite a bit of weight just before I got pregnant so the clothes I have now are actually still loose on me rather than starting to get tight, so I'm wondering if I may be able to get away with not buying maternity clothes at all. I haven't gotten any nursing stuff, either. I can pull a boob out of most things I wear (that's one nice thing about having big breasts--you can flop those girls anywhere!), so I'm not too worried about tops. I'm not so sure about a nursing bra--how important are they? Is it sufficient to have a bra that I can easily pull a boob out of? I've heard that you should never wear a bra with an underwire when you're nursing--can I just pull the underwire out of a bra I already own? 

[SteeleTig]

Totally! My midwife had to cancel my appt this week and my reaction was just... "Okay, I'll see you after the 1st of the year!" With my first I was so eager for every appt. It'll be 7-8 weeks between my appts this time. We know we're having a girl and we haven't even started discussing names yet, much less anything else.