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First time leaving 14 month old tips?

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 

Any tips ideas on how to leave my 14 month old for a few hours? 

We have always been together, longest we have been apart is when grandma takes him for a walk down the street maybe 10-20 min, so I can shower etc. We are very attached to each other and he's never not been with out me. We live out in the country, 20 min from town and I just have never had to leave him before. 

I need to start working a few hours and don't know where to start in leaving him with papa or grandma.  Once he starts getting upset only nursing or a very good distraction can make him calm down. I also nurse him to sleep for naps and at nighttime, he sometimes falls asleep in the car since our drives are long. He still nurses a lot, and never took a bottle. 

Just wondering where to start...

post #2 of 4

Its a huge transition period, and I can only say slowly is the best route to take. Ds1 was with me every second of everyday until he was 15months old and I married his amazing daddy. Leaving you darling with someone they are familiar with and bonded with is the best way to go I think. Are you able to try testing to see how he goes? Get Grandma to take him in the car for 30mins or out for an hour without you? In regards to breastfeeding both my wee guys would go without for a couple of hours reasonbly happily but would drink plenty of water to substitute when we were re-united just those couple of hours later they would both nurse like crazy. A favoured sippy cup or drink bottle could be helpful. Making sure they have other comforts as well is useful, blankets, toys etc.

Rescue remedy for you both is also an essential. Its difficult leaving your precious child for the first time ( or every time as it is for me even 5yrs down the track) and its ok, it's ok to own that feeling. its a big deal and preparing yourself and your baby is important. I always tell my little people that I am leaving, sometimes multiple times so they don't suddenly go "hey where did mumma disappear too?" 

post #3 of 4

Hi, my DD (15 months) till recently was in a similar situation...always by my side!  I had a few very long doctor's appointments (1-2 hrs each) recently and my mom was able to take her and keep her happy, thank goodness.  I agree, the thing to do is build up to it.  My mom first occupied her for 30 min or so with me in the other room, then took her out of the apartment for 30 minutes, then took her out longer, etc. so she had a chance to get used to the idea that Mommy goes away and comes back.  Also, try to be very low-key about it so you don't give your little one the idea that it's upsetting, and if you can, be available for emergency help (maybe not while you're working, but while you're building up time-away in stages)--I always let the nurses and receptionists know that my DD and mom might need me, and if so could they please help them find me. 


My DD is still not super happy about being parted from me for long periods of time and my mom says she asks for me a lot, but at least she's not shrieking.  Be prepared for your kiddo to be especially cuddly and want to nurse a lot when you get her back, too...my DD seems to want to reassure herself through clinginess.


Can your little one be walked to sleep?  My DD mostly nurses to sleep but also will fall asleep if worn in a carrier or (now) pushed in a stroller...that's pretty much the only way somebody besides me can put her to sleep.

post #4 of 4

Definitely build up to it--(a half hour, one hour, a few hours, and so on).  Much easier on everyone that way.


You're lucky that you have familiar people you can leave your child with.  That helps a lot!  If you have to leave them with someone totally unfamiliar (e.g. daycare), it helps to start in small doses, and stick around for awhile before leaving.


Yes, they do whine and ask for you a lot, but they usually do fine with another caregiver.


If there's any crying on separation, it usually only lasts about 5 minutes or so.


You will probably feel a bit anxious the entire time...at least I do.  Like I'm missing a leg or arm or something.


Kids who are used to nursing will usually adapt fine to other methods of going to sleep.  It's like they realize that mama's not there, so the expectation of being able to nurse is gone too. 

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