Queer Conceptions: December 2012 - Page 13

[darthtunaqueen]

I'm pretty sure Darcy's right. However, as a NICU nurse, you will not find me or DW anywhere near an airplane when we are pregnant. Too many baby-born-prem-after-air travel have I seen, and though the chance is tiny tiny tiny, the fact that I see it at work freaks me out enough to completely avoid it. I've also heard theories that not flying really early in pregnancy is good to avoid, as the amount of radiation that you're exposed to could potentially cause something to go wrong during fetal development (it's more radiation than an X Ray). That being said, LOADS of women fly pregnant and have never had issues!

[Friederike]

If I get pregnant I will fly at least once or twice for longer distances, as I'll be going to Egypt in March and probably some conference in France in spring. The only concern I have for the Egypt trip is potential sickness. I think flying is recommended as long as you can sit comfortably and/or about 30 weeks max. It also depends on the airline whether they take you on as a customer.

Oh and thank you everybody who chimed in on the leaking issue. It kinda freaks me out a bit and it seems so strange that the sperm separates from the rest of the fluid and goes where it is needed.

[scorpioma]

Radiation?!?!

(edit: I think this is only for frequent fliers...?)

[esenbee2]

sphinxy -I will be traveling to the Philippines in late May and early June.  If this 1st cycle works for us, it would put me at about 25 weeks flying back.  That is as close as I want be.  No later for me!  I went with being really conservative in relation to others that I had read about using a google search.

oh, and I will NOT be going through the body scanners!  I have not went through one since the implementation of them, and I will go through the hand pat, even though I feel it is a violation against one of my personal liberties!  Luckily, I have always had my DD to go through airport security with and all of the airports we have went through have let us go through the standard metal detectors only with me carrying DD, and no hand pats!  The body scanners are too new, without proper studies done on the harmful effects, and the person who made the decision for their implementation was the CEO of the company who makes them.

[easttowest]

Cosmic radiation is part of our natural environment, whether you are standing on Earth or flying above it. Yes, you are exposed to more while flying, but it is not true that it is twice that of a X-ray (it is about half). Even flight personnel are exposed to less than the recommended annual maximum amount of radiation, so taking a flight or two is not going to hurt anyone. You would have to fly more than 100 hours a month while pregnant to exceed recommended limits. People live healthy lives living their entire lives where exposure is higher than it would be on a normal flight.

[redrockband]

Granite: So sorry to hear about your chickens. We incubated, hatched and raised some chicks back in AR, we sold them and the coop we built to a friend and within a couple of months she told me that a racoon got all three of them. DW and I were so so sad, made me think our dogs did a better job protecting them than I thought.

Joy: So exciting, congrats!!

Can't wait for all you TWWers to test around Christmas, what a great present that would be.

AFM: DW and I were "kicked out" of living in my dads backyard, had to quickly find an apartment and moved in yesterday. I'm exhausted. KD has been kind of MIA, due to a crazy work schedule, so we have discussed moving on and using a bank. Still aiming for March as our first insem.

Hi to everyone else!

[PDXmother2b]

Hi ladies,

So I was hoping a few of you have gone/or are going through this as well.  

So, I am 6 days post ovulation and will be getting my progesterone blood draw today (had it tested a few months ago and it was low 10.5) My next LH surge I will be inseminating, but my question is:  The fact that I have to go on clomid...will it affect the day I usually get my surge? (cd 19)   My RE has suggested I go on clomid 50mg days 3-7 because my fsh was high (11) and my progesterone will probably be low again.  

How do I know when to ship my vial?  It is still at ccb and I don't want to have it get here too soon/or late...because the clomid makes me all out of whack!  

Has anyone else been on clomid?  what was your experience like?

Thanks so much,

Talia

[fmorris28]

Darcy, thanks for the support. TTC and the stress of life gets to us both sometimes, but you ladies are a godsend!! Super excited for your TWW!! FX!!

Scorp, i know right! i am feeling better now, after a few days of talking and understanding each other its resolved. *breathing a sigh of relief*

Twomommy, Thanks for the hug!! I sure needed it. Seems like we didnt realise the stresses of everything until they're right on us frustrating us! Thank goodness we know how to work together to fix issues!

Sphinxy, I feel soooo much better! No runny nose, or sneezing..maybe it was just reminance of mye flu shot! Atleast its all passed now! I'm planning to get a couple of massages a month to help de-stress! Mye cycles have varied in TTC i've noticed too, this last time I O'd 2 days later than expected! And as far as travelling at 4 months you should be fine. Mye mum was travelling with meeh in her 7th nearly 8th month and was A- OK...besides the fact the plane lost power for a moment and almost crashed with meeh nd preggo mummy. . .BUT we're OK! Nd four months you won't be too uncomfortable. they say thats around one of the best times to decide to travel cos you're not too big and are passed you'r first trimester.

Fille, thanks!! we have and things are so much better..it seems like a rain cloud follows meeh around nd rains on mye head when we argue. The sun has come out and is shining bright now!

2justice, That sucks! Glad you were able to find a place asap though! DP and I are almost in the same boat...we've been in the same place for years, and just lately the new neighbours...well....eh..is all i can say. I'd rather not have a little one around with an exotic dancer next door and her male companions in and out...as well as the domestic violence couple downstairs! I tell you its been a wild weekend between those two! I found a super nice place that would be so much more child friendly with a playground and pool and golf course..not to mention free tanning lol! So looks like we'll be moving in the next week or two as well!

Talia, I've taken clomid for one monitoring cycle, one IUI cycle, and Femara on the other IUI cycle. When taking the clomid it didnt change the timing really it just helped to stimulate the ovaries to get those follicles to grow grow grow and produce more than one. I dont believe its like the trigger shot that can speed up timing. I can say I was very happy with the size and number of follicles I had to the point this next cyle I'm switching back to 50mg of clomid from the Femara. I did it days 5-9 but they also do 3-7 as well.

AFM, DP and I have worked everything out and talked it through. Its hard sometimes because we're both so head strong and stubborn a lot lol! But in the last few days, we've decided unanimously its time to move which we're trying to do before the new year. Lots more stress to add on, but I'm sure we'll make it!

[fillefantome]

I had the most awful/discouraging conversation with my part-time housemate (she and her 16 year old son are there one night a week because they live out of town and she's sending him to the local h.s.).

She's very chatty, so in the few weeks they've been coming on Monday nights (she's been on my lease since July, but wasn't planning to actually live in my house, until she stupidly told the school what was going on a couple months back), we've discussed my financial woes (huge student loans, growing credit card debt) as well as the fact that I want to have a kid in the near future. So, on Monday, she asked about my holiday plans, and I mentioned that I was trying to hoard up my vacation time, for future maternity leave purposes. And totally out of the blue, she goes "I've been thinking about that, and I think maybe you should rethink it, because of your finances." We proceeded to have a 10-minute conversation about how kids are expensive, and it was really hard being a single mom (as she is). Now, I barely know this woman, and her opinion shouldn't matter, but I felt the need to defend my decision anyway--my financial situation isn't going to get better anytime in the next several years, so it's (a) choose to have a kid, knowing that it's going to be financially tough or (b) not have a family at all. She didn't really push back, but it was clear that she still thought it was a bad choice. So, anyway, she wasn't being mean, just sort of concerned/practical, but I'm still upset about it a couple days later. I mean, I know it's not the "smart" thing to do, and I get really scared about the money stuff and the commitment of having a kid who depends on you all the time 24-7, but I've been thinking about and planning for it for years now, and the fact that my finances aren't and won't be where I want them to be in the next decade just can't be the thing that stops me. It can't.

[esenbee2]

fille -without knowing your complete financial situation, I would take the position of: a. this is none of her business, b. financial worries are very stressful, but there is always going to be some reason or the other that it is not ideal.  Many end up accidently pregnant and they make it work just fine, c. there is always going to be someone who will speak negative to your decision.  My mother was that person for me.    She didn't think we were financially stable enough for another baby and was quite negative (though I think she was still coming to terms with me not choosing a bio-male to be with).

[mrsandmrs]

2justicemama - that sounds really stressful. hang in there! 

PDXm2b - i have taken clomid for several cycles, but i can't say how it changed my ovulation because i didn't ovulate before. i have heard that it makes people ovulate both earlier and later, so i don't know that there's a way to predict when you'll go if you havent taken it before. is your bank shipping it to your house in a dewar, or can your RE's office store it? it is worth asking the office if they can help with storage. if so, you can order it now and have it whenever you need it. if you have to store it at home, of course that's different. it would be better to have it early (to avoid missing O) and deal with the pain of finding someone to re-charge it if you O late. Does your RE offer any guidance on this? 

fmorris - im glad things are looking up with DP! 

fille - good thing you weren't asking her to have a baby with you, and too bad she didn't ask for your input on her family planning. some people are amazingly terrible about that stuff. no one knows the "right thing" for another person's family. 

[Friederike]

Fille- it's none of her business. Maybe she was honestly trying to be helpful or maybe she was trying to put you down, either way, if you don't wanna hear it, she should simply stop giving unwarranted advice. Perhaps it isn't smart to have a child in an unstable financial situation, but so many good life decisions might be not the smart thing to do and still turn out wonderful. You can struggle financally and still be a wonderful parent who provides endless great opportunities for her kid. I understand that her behaviour probably hurts more because it is an issue you are already concerned about. That's hard. But it's actually a good thing I think, that you are aware of and prepared for the financial struggles that are coming.
And in the end most people who TTC have something that you could argue would make it better if hey waited. e.g. We are financially pretty stable but I haven't finished my PhD so that will probably hurt my career in the future and my partner suffers from depression (being treated). Both could mean we would be better off waiting, but if you wait too long then time will be gone forever and we'll never have children.
Big hug to you!

[easttowest]

fille - Popping in to throw in my support.  Straight people have babies accidentally all the time, even if they aren't in their ideal financial situation.  It's not anyone's business but yours.  I think (if I may) that maybe part of the problem is that her words brought up real concerns that you have, and while they had no business coming from her, you are now thinking that maybe you are crazy to pursue this.  If that is the case, family planning is an excellent time to do some financial planning, too.  I know my career goals have changed since deciding to have kids so that I can support the lifestyle I desire.  But everyone's desired lifestyle is different, and as long as you can house, feed, and clothe your kid, you will be fine.  Hang in there!  :)

Edited by easttowest - 12/19/12 at 2:04pm

[cordelia15]

fille, also popping in to throw my support, while I do think financial planning is important I do not think $ is not a reason to have a child as long as you can provide for all their basic needs.  There are a million ways to do things way more affordably.  If you were 20, I might encourage you to wait, but I still think it's no one's business but your own.  we also started when my DH did not have a job but went ahead with it anyway, and he ended up getting one but then I lost mine, so really even when you plan, things change.  People will judge you on so many things, being a single mom is hard, she may have her own issues around it so try to think every conversation might be more about her, than it is even about you!!

everyone else. . sending baby dust your way!!!  

[fmorris28]

Fille, I can understand your worry from this "friend", but each person is entitled to make their own choices as well as have their own opinions. DP and I had a similar situation, i was asking when we're planning on trying, and she would say when this is better or that is better, but I simply told her if we continue to wait for the time to be right it never will because SOMETHING will ALWAYS come up, but that's just life. She thought about it and agreed. You've been planning this and there's no time like the present. Your friend has her child so she doesnt really know the yearning you (and all of us) have. Don't let her opinion bother you or upset you..you've got a great plan, all you need to do now is execute it! Good Luck!

M&M, THanks! You and I both! TTC brings so many woes you never knew!!

[Twomommyfamily]

Fille: I always had the breaks on when it came to ttc due to finances. It wasn't so much debt that worried me (I believe that student loans are forever and everybody had them), but income. In my current job, I finally feel like we are now in a very good place. My DP has always had the argument of we can't just wait for things to be perfect because they will never be perfect. So while I wish we had no debt and both made 6 digits, I realize that would mean not ever having the chance to conceive. I know that many women get pregnant young, making very little income, and still make it work just fine. Being a good parent has nothing to do with your bank account. That being said, all of this is none of that woman's business! She has made certain life decisions and perhaps she feels like she is helping, but her perspective is very narrow in that she clearly cannot relate to being a single woman in her thirties who wants more than anything to be a mother. So feel confident that you know what is right for you, you are capable of making this work, and don't worry about her "advice".

[Cananny]

Thread crashing....

If anyone is in or near Bay Area... Leland over at Rainbow sperm bank in alaneda is going out of business and is selling vials cheap... Our friends got six vials for 500.00....

I'm not sure he ships but if u are local ...or something !!! Check it out

[fillefantome]

Thanks everyone for the (much appreciated) support! I know this woman had no right to weigh in on my choices, but wow, did it ramp up my financial angst! I'm just trying to keep my eyes on the prize, and hoping that the TTC process won't add too much to my money woes. Your kind words are really helping with that!

[granite]

Good to hear it, fillefantome! Sound financial planning is important, but can't be a competing interest with becoming a parent.  It was looking at our money situation that made DP and I get going on TTC, when we'd originally thought we'd wait a few years... The simple fact that we both currently have solid union jobs was a huge push factor, because we don't know if we'll be so lucky down the road. Ignore the semi-housemate; regardless of finances, you'll be a great parent.

Cananny, I wish I could get me some of that discount sperm! Thanks for the tip... Quick, let's pool our $$$ and buy it all, then divvy it up amongst ourselves!

Friederike, my partner also suffers from depression (dysthymia), and some well-meaning acquaintances have used it as a reason to question our decision to become parents, which drives me nuts. Yes, it'll likely impact how she deals with our kids, but so will a million and one other things. It'll be just one more facet of our life as a family, which I'm sure will be chock full of both privileges and challenges, you know?

Did I read that right, fmorris, that you're going to try to move before the end of the month?!! Like, move your living quarters? My goodness... Yes, that would be stressful! But totally doable, and I personally am a fan of starting the New Year off with lots of positive changes. Good luck!

I've taken clomid twice, PDXmother2be: The first time (50mg, cd3-8) I didn't ovulate at all, and had to take progesterone to kick start the next cycle.  The second time (100mg, cd3-11) went great! I had a single follie, which probably released an egg on cd18... But I had to leave town right before that, so didn't get any further monitoring after cd15 and so didn't get to insem. Anyway, the point is that it made me O earlier than my typical cd22-25. But I'm with mrsandmrs: Talk to your RE and ask about local storage options as well as their timing ideas.

AFM: Thank you all sooooo much for your kind words about the loss of my chickens. I really appreciate it. My housemates, who were co-owners of the flock, have decided that they don't want to try again with new birds in the spring. Even though we alternated weeks in caring for the birds, they found it to be more work than they'd like to take on again. So, if I get new birds, it'll be just DP and I caring for them... And of course I think we ought to, because they just fit so perfectly into how I want my life to be. And then I think, huh... Maybe scaling back makes sense. If we're pregnant by springtime, am I really gonna want to have to check on the coop every day? We already have a dog and a cat, and a kitten arriving on Friday (a Solstice surprise for my DP... Shhhh!), and my (neglected) veggie garden is huge, and I have honey bees coming in March...

Sometimes I think that the hardest part of TTC for me is getting my life ready for a baby, not just my body.

[mrsandmrs]

granite, it's like we have parallel lives. we have 2 dogs, 2 cats, a flock of chickens and two hives of honeybees. i know what you mean about getting my life ready for a baby! i might put a fence around the beehive once there's a toddler...