Queer Conceptions: December 2012 - Page 5

[fmorris28]

Samy, Sure hope you're feeling much better and not crampy! One good way to wait is for preggo tests to come..its so hard when you know they're in the house! I hope the best for you and have everything crossed! Nd man I feel like I've earned that deal as much as I searched lol!

Friederike, Isn't it? Odd thing is mye state has mandated insurance coverage for IVF (including meds and such), BUT mye lovely job's corp. headquarters is in Florida who doesn't have any coverage insurance wise! The crappy loopholes always find meeh!

Scorp, just reading your post had meeh excited. A KD would be great, but i have the strangest inner feeling there would be A LOT of hassle. Yous guys are lucky! Best of luck with the insem!!!!!

Sphinxy, you're on top of things, I sure hope a BFP is in store for you!

Esenbee, Being sick is NO FUN. In the last week I've gotten a stye, had the car door slam on mye wrist (that still hurts like hell), and gotten bit by something unknown on mye foot! Hopes that it will blow over asap coming your way! I sure know how you feel about the laundry...i've still got to do mine which im absolutely dreading. You'd be hanging for days if you saw all of DP's t-shirts! She changes clothes sometimes 3 times a day! Atleast you got it all done though..until next time lol! And this whole process is an emotional rollercoaster, i've been in your shoes many times. It gets better.

M&M, She did give meeh instructions. I don't know what it is about it..i am not afraid of needles..mye mum is a nurse and was bringing mye flu shots home since I could remember. What the hell is making meeh so anxious about this injection! I had blood drawn for a check-up monday with no issues! Maybe i'll get brave soon! And about being turned on all the time...the best thing about us being women! lol "

it's like living at a spa, only she keeps stabbing me with needles. " i absolutely love that quote! gave meeh a needed laugh!

AFM, Taking the days as they come with a lot of temping, tea drinking, and swirling thoughts of what could be.

[samy23]

Good luck to everyone trying this cycle, what an amazing gift a BFP would be for Christmas!

AFM 7 DPO today and my temp went up again by .2 which is the highest temp this cycle so far, hopefully that's a good sign. I can't believe I'm still not testing, but they have not arrived in the mail and I don't want to waste money on buying something twice so im trying hard not to get one from the store! Surely they will arrive today and I can test tonight and tomorrow with FMU. Had some pre-AF type cramps a bit last night again and generally starting to feel a bit pre-AF-ish but trying not to be disappointed too soon...

[Friederike]

DPO 14 is the 25th for me too, so I'll be testing on christmas day as well :-)

AFM - UPS tracking is great, it tells me our tank has already visited Denmark, Sweden and Cologne last night. It's like those christmas websites where you can watch Santa travel across the world.

[fillefantome]

Liz, for good news on your knee and a speedy journey to TTC, and samy, for a BFP!

esenbee2, hope you are on the mend!

SanDiego: so glad to hear you guys are getting ready to try again. Sounds like the whole kit and kaboodle of you waiting to O are inseming in the next week, which is exciting!

Speaking of which, Sphinxy and the inseminators (what a great name for a band!), don't forget to let me know when you want to moved into Waiting to O.

Friederike: the OWL program makes me think of HP too. It's short for "Our Whole Lives" and they had it before JK Rowling, but it's still amusing. If only we taught sexuality education and basic wand techniques!

easttowest/Sphinxy: I have definitely considered shipping sperm, but KD's volunteered to do it this way (for now), and it gives us a whole lot more flexibility on timing and the ability to insem multiple times (trip costs will probably be $350-$400 per month, roughly the equivalent of 2 shipments). But, if he gets travel-weary, shipping is a great back-pocket strategy. And so good to hear that fresh sperm shipping works, not just in the theoretical, but from someone whose good luck baby dust-laden HPT is sitting in my bathroom!

scorpioma: thanks for the offer to look at our KD contract. I think we're okay. These are just hoops to jump through, for future legal purposes, as J and I have already talked through all of this stuff extensively. The contract looks virtually identical to what I would have done, cribbing from internet templates, so it's not like we needed lawyers, except to provide external legal validation of our non-binding contract. We're clearly just a low priority (even for these smallish VT law firms). The funny thing is, there were just two changes from the original version--J discussed them with his lawyer, J and I agreed, I emailed my lawyer, she had already talked with his lawyer and was going to email draft language to him for approval. This was in October, but since I literally got charged for checking in with her for an update, I'm more than willing to bide my time to avoid spending more money on this formality. And, next time, it's J's turn to play prod the lawyer (I'm paying, so it'll still be my money being spent to remind someone I exist, but more efficient, since the hold-up appears to be on his end.)

Thanks, everyone, for all the kind words about my positive attitude and forward planning. Believe me, in real life, it's a lot more touch-and-go on both fronts, but it was nice to get that feedback.

I let KD know this month was a bust (Actually, what I emailed was "So, yeah, our 'I happen to be passing through your city' timing was insufficient to the cause, and your valiant sperm all fell in the fruitless attempt to stay alive for 6 whole days."), but didn't actually mention scheduling January, not wanting to be super-pushy. He wrote back and said "We should start up again after the holiday season. Let me know when in January or Feb would be good for you." So, yeah, mid-Jan, hopefully we'll be on-track for a well-timed bunch of insems. I also passed along the SA info to him (thanks again, easttowest, for that tip), so he can get an appointment set up. I love that while I'm freaking out about being a burden, asking too much and how much/little he wants to know about my cycle, J is a full-on participant. He really wants to do this for me, it's not just a big ol' way-too-much-to-ask favor that he feels he can't say no to. (I'm totally tearing up thinking about how awesome he is, and how awesome his kid would/will be.)

[samy23]

fille your donor sounds great!

Update -my tests just arrived and I got a BFN ... i'm not giving up hope as I'm only 7DPO which i know is early to get a BFP anyway, and plus it wasn't FMU..felt good to test though ha. I'll try not to test again until tomorrow morning when i can use FMU and will be 8DPO.... should i worry if that is negative? lots of people seem to get positives at 8DPO.

[KnittingTigers]

Hi guys,

Sorry to threadcrash, but I wanted to share some very sad news, and I know that not everyone here reads the Queer and Pregnant thread. Nosreves (who many of you know from her long time on this thread) had her son on Wednesday, and on Thursday he died of meningitis. There's a bit more info here:

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1366994/queer-pregnant-and-parenting-november-december-and-january-2013/180#post_17193965

[scorpioma]

Wow. What a fun month for holiday babies...

Hopeful Christmas testing BFP's:

Sphinxy

mrsandmrs

scorpioma

Friederike

Inseminated last night with KD... He was at home, this first time, and DP went to get the sperm in a little jar, kept it warm and safe, then came home and did the deed!  Wild.

My temp spiked a little this morning so we're hoping I'm ovulating (per usual) today. It's so hard to know.

fille: thanks for being a fantastic threadkeepeer!

also, really glad you and KD are on for January. It would be so hard to wait longer, I'm sure! Onward!

samy: I think 8DPO is still pretty early. My midwife said the earliest HPT was 10DPO for anyone, although I could be wrong. 14DPO more typically.

Is that right, others?

esenbee2: about the known-donor photos... I totally know. Those emotions speak to how intentional this pregnancy and how wanted this child will be. Hugs!

Friederike: Your sperm are world-travellers!!  

FINALLY:

If any of you send me your email in a PM, I will send you our KD's baby photo. Just to pass the time and for fun! You'll love it!

Edited by scorpioma - 12/7/12 at 8:10am

[Sphinxy]

Originally Posted by fillefantome 

Sphinxy and the inseminators (what a great name for a band!)

OMG, I love this! 

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrsandmrs 

santa, load up your wagon with positive pee sticks! 

Yes!! We've been good!!

You all are keeping me so entertained, much appreciated! 

fmorris - Thank you so much, I do feel better equipped this cycle. I so wish you were inseminating with us all, but we can't wait to cheer you on in January!

fille - Thank you for the reminder. Even though one insem is done, I am going to wait until the after the second one to have you move me. I can only handle being in one state of waiting at a time! I absolutely love reading about your relationship with your donor. How beautiful. You may be single, but I swear, you've got more support going on than some partnered people! 

samy - Holy cow, no - you should absolutely NOT take it as a bad sign if you get a BFN at 8DPO! There are some people on these boards who have reported not getting their BFPs until 13, 14, even 15DPO! I am wishing you much sooner relief than that of course, though! You can get through this TWW!

Frederieke  - Yay! Another member of the band! (still funny!) That is so cool that you can see your swimmers playing hop-scotch across the continent! 

scorpio How's it going, lady? Did ya get your + OPK yet? I thought of you last night! 

joy - If you're still out there, we haven't forgotten about you! Wishing you all the best in these early stages.

Afm, still waiting on the signs that say it's time for our next insem. I have talked myself into a positive place about yesterday's try, because if I am a multi-ovulator, it is possible that there was a first egg after Tuesday's OPK and if so, we could have caught it. Took my first OPK of the day and got a negative, but there was some fade in so I have hopes for maybe a positive later today. And I got some good sleep last night which was awesome. I think the restorative yoga class that I took last night really helped (it's basically meditation the whole time with a few gentle stretches ). 

__

Saw the message from KnittingTigers after I made this post. A  for Nosreves. 

Edited by Sphinxy - 12/7/12 at 8:45am

[redrockband]

Thanks for all the input on the paid maternity leave.

To answer some of the questions: I just started so it'll be two years until I get the 4 weeks paid time off. If we wait, I will get about 6 weeks paid time off. If we don't it would be about 2 weeks paid and another 2-4 unpaid. I'm 30 right now, which isn't old but isn't young either. I work for a small nonprofit, we have a long term disability plan, but not a short term plan, as far as I can tell. I don't want to ask too many questions yet since I just started and the woman that had my job previously left to have a baby. I plan on staying here for quite a while so I don't want to send the wrong message.We could easily save up a months worth of my salary, so it is definitely doable to go ahead and start trying with or original plan in March, but it would certainly be nice to have those 4 weeks paid and be able to take off a couple more weeks as well. I think it might be worth getting some basic fertility tests done before we decide, I don't "feel" very fertile so I worry that it will be hard to get pregnant. Last night while we were lying in bed, DW told me she was really sad we might have to wait longer to start trying, it was really cute.

Exciting with all the insems coming up, wishing you all luck.

File: Sorry about the BFN, love your energy..it sounds like you have some great things coming up.

Rs11: Glad to see you back

My thoughts go out to Nosreves and DW. So sorry to hear the news.

[esenbee2]

Samy -I most certainly would not feel discouraged if you get a negative at 8 DPO.  I try to not to test until 12 DPO (implantation 10 days, 2 days to concentrate enough hCG), but I have been known to test as early as 9 DPO because of DSp pressuring me.

AFM -feeling much better today, but I can definitely feel worn down by the end of the evening.  In TTC news, I've just been charting away, learning a lot about my cycle without feeling anxious about possibly being pregnant.  Glad we decided to wait a cycle before trying (unlike last time), but it was largely in part to a possible plan in the works to go DSp's family reunion in the Philippines.  That is planned for early June, so I don't want to be too far along in my pregnancy to cause complications (labor on a plane = generally NOT ideal........).  Didn't want to be more than 25 weeks pregnant because of the risks, as well as, I want to be able to enjoy the Philippines (and not waddle around being miserable) because it will most likely be the only time I would get to visit.

[scorpioma]

 Nosreves, you are in our hearts.

[scorpioma]

Okay, OPK wizards...

The top OPK is from CD16 this month. The bottom one was the positive from last month. Is the one from this month + in your opinion? I know it's a bit harder to see.

Thanks, friends.

[Sphinxy]

scorp - I would call the one on top a strong almost positive, and test again in a few hours. Very similar to what I had on Tuesday... 

[mrsandmrs]

my heart is broken for nosreves & her family. i don't even have words. i have been cheering them along for so long. 

fille - your donor sounds great. onward and upward, right? your january bfp can have a "first halloween" costume in 2013!  

i am amazed at the sheer number of xmas testers. if i wasn't kind of grossed out by pee and we didn't have a teenager, i would totally put a bfp in my sweetheart's stocking. 

Sphinxy and the inseminators (what a great name for a band!)

this is the best ^^^^^^^ who plays drums? 

fmorris - good luck with the injection. it's just one! you can do it! 

I just read harry potter for the first time (I talk about this all the time so you may have seen me mention it on the facebook group) and I think about it constantly and I am pretty sure that everyone is tired of me talking about it! So when fille mentioned the OWLs I thought "DO NOT TALK ABOUT HARRY POTTER!" I'm glad someone else brought it up. I could use some of Professor Trelawney's divination skills to know what the future holds. 

samy - 8dpo is too early. try again tomorrow and report back! 

justicemama - if it were me (i am also 30 and work for a non-profit), i'd have one baby now with whatever I could save up and plan use the paid maternity leave for the next kid! if you really plan to be there for a while, it's worth thinking about. even though i am only 30, fertility is such an unknown factor until it's tested. 

[PDXmother2b]

Hi, I'm new to the boards and wasn't sure how to put my name under the "waiting" section!  

Thanks!

[PDXmother2b]

Hello,

I'm new here and not quite sure how this all works.  I wanted to share my story and where I am in the process in hopes of finding others who have or will go through the same process!  

I will be inseminating in mid January 2013 using donor sperm.  This will be my first attempt, as I am very excited!

I am also very happy to know that these board exist, as I don't really have very many people to talk to who can relate.  

Thanks!

[mrsandmrs]

pdxmom --- you did it right. our lovely threadkeeper will update your status as soon as she has a minute. welcome!! tell us a little about yourself? 

[Sphinxy]

Welcome, PDXmother2b!  We have a new thread keeper each month who updates our statuses for us on the first post. I'm sure Fille will get right on that for you! I think you will find that this is a very supportive space - good luck!

[esenbee2]

Welcome PDX!  When this month's threadkeeper Fille sees, she will add you to the 1st page List.  Tell us a little about yourself, this month there has been "refresher questions" that all of us have been filling in the answers for.  Feel free answer any question you are comfortable sharing

What is your name?

What are the names/pronouns of your partner and children (if you have any)?

What method are you using to get pregnant this next cycle?

What do you and/or your partner do for work?

What state/province do you live?

What is the most exciting part about this TTC time for you?

What is the most difficult part?

Have you temperature charted your cycle any or used OPKs for previous cycles?  How many inseminations do you plan on doing in January?  Are you planning on using Frozen (if so, what bank?) or Fresh from a Known Donor?

Great to have you along on this journey with us!

[Friederike]

I love the band joke and would be honored to join the inseminators. Can I be lead guitar and second vocals, please? Because we actually put up a music room in our home after moving this spring, complete with guitars, a keyboard and my DPs e-drum set. I love making music and meet up with a guitar group once a week.

Mrs - good for you that you're reading Harry Potter. I believe everybody should read this series at least once in their life. I have been a hard-core fan since 2000, complete with the midnight book premieres, the movie triple features, the wizard rock CDs and podcasts and several merch articles like scarfs, shirts and wands. Nerd alarm.

PDX - welcome. I also just joined the boards for my first try (next tuesday) and everybody is super nice and helpful here.