Rough day today. It's been 3 weeks since I miscarried, my relationships just feel fake anymore, including my marriage unfortunatley. I'm having a terrible time connecting with people. My house is cleaner than it has been in years, I'm not doing it conciously but I think I'm avoiding dealing with my emotions or thinking by cleaning. At this point in time as I couldn't even say what is actually wrong, I just feel empty.
Be gentle with yourself. Clean if you need to clean, if that is where you need to put your focus right now. I can't imagine your sadness and grief. The people who love you will be there for you when you are ready.
Yes!! I mean yes, technically MW you are right, it's a "choice" to clean, or to make dinner, etc etc. But let's be realistic, eating isn't a choice, and some choice options are just not valid for a realistic right. Yes, -technically- we could all 'choose' to order in every night and hire a housecleaner. But after we put ourselves severely into debt, that kind of stops being an option. If we want to keep our kids and be healthy then there are certain facts of life that just... are. Obviously there's a choice to some things, you can make a decision as to how clean the house is going to be, or whether you're going to do it tonight or tomorrow, but in reality, these choices aren't always entirely within our control or black and white.
I think it's more about the "shoulds" that we hear in the back of our minds. Let them go. Sure we "should" clean the house and we should wear a hat when it's cold. But who really cares? We feel like we should b/c we are raised being told we should. We don't NEED to do those things just because someone else thinks we ought to. If we make the CHOICE of our own free will to clean b/c it makes us happy/keeps us healthy, then that's our choice. If we wear a hat b/c WE don't want to be cold, we made that choice. Nobody is telling us we NEED to do those things. We choose to do them b/c they are our choice to do.
MW - you are really rubbing off on me!