December 2012 Rockstar Mamas - Page 12

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

Finding presents for this age is hard especially when they have older siblings. What about a ball? Ava always loves getting balls. Or a new book. Play tent? Play tunnel?

We have a play tent and tunnel. I saw a fun looking inflatable obstacle course but it would take up so much space that I don't think we have anywhere to put it and keep it up. I put balls on his wish list for someone else to get. My stepsis always teases that whenever she asks what one of the boys wants I say, "balls." She doesn't have kids so she doesn't get it but they really do love balls of all kinds. We always do books but my mom comes and leaves books in secret places without saying anything so we have a ton. There is literally nothing that we don't already have.

The idea weaning is sad but it's not the end of the world. If Ava weans now, it's ok. She has got a lot of BM in her and she's healthy and happy and good to go. Ryan weaned at just a little over 12 months. I was sad but there was nothing I could do at that point. He was done. I didn't mean to wean him but I guess I did help it along by feeding him solids so much.

[akind1]

Christmas: Norah is getting playsilks and a sort of tissue box to store them (so she can pull them out, hopefully, instead of tissues - among other things one can do with playsilks), a doll, and a box with a couple books and a pillow pet mini. My mom is getting her some toys (a doll house, some ball popper thing that requires batteries, and IDK what else. She's in charge of the annoying toys that stay with grammy LOL). MIL is getting Norah books.

Gabe is getting a 3 wheeled radio flyer scooter with helmet, an imaginext space station, and one other thing that I've forgotten. He was going to get a doll too, but I am sticking to my 3 gift rule per kid, and decided he could play with my old dolls instead. MIL is also getting him a toy dinosaur, I don't know what all my mom has gotten him.

MW: while we may not have as many toys and stuff as you, I hear you - it's hard to give people ideas - I honestly don't want more things, and with kids so close in age, they really don't NEED more. As Gabe gets older, he will be getting things that perhaps Norah shouldn't play with yet, but that's it. I love the idea of the open ended Waldorf-y type toys. I wish they were cheaper LOL

Annie: yay on the doula stuff! are you part of a hospital doula program, or do local doulas have connections with the hospital? I don't know that our local hospital would be so on top of the doula things. They do have a free doula program, but I'm not a huge fan. You don't mee tthe doula until you're at the hospital, and I want to meet my doula and make sure she works with us before seeing me in the midst of labor.

Weaning - hugs. I still am sad about Norah's weaning. She won't take the breast when offered, just pokes and pinches my nipple. The only thing that makes it bearable is knowing she's not my last nursling. I HATE that she nursed for such a "short" time (11 months and 3 weeks, LOL - so much longer than a lot of people I know!) One one hand, I don't really like nursing while pregnant, but on the other, I really enjoy nursing in general. *sigh* and hugs. Not much you can do if she's not interested, unless she's just going through a strike? It's up to you whether to push through it (keep pumping and offering, and she might regain interest) or take the opportunity to wean.

I am so ready for Christmas to be here and done. Though I'm not looking forward to seeing DH's family. Evidently at a birthday party this last weekend, Norah was trying to go into the 3 year old's bedroom to play with toys (because that's where ALL the toys were) and her dad (who doesn't have custody of her - this is at the grandma's house, who does) kept blocking her and telling her no that she coudn't go in there, and he *may* have smacked her hands. 1) she barely knows this guy 2) why the world are you even *thinking* about putting your hands on someone elses child in an unkind manner 3) why would you not let a kid play in a kid's room?  Neither Wayne, nor I, nor MIL knew about this until yesterday, when one of DH's aunts called to talk about it. HELLO. if you see this crap, come get me so I can lay into the idiot. you do not mess with a pregnant mama bear.

He's not supposed to be at Christmas dinner, but we will see. (he's not invited, but idiots tend to show up when unwanted) GaHHHHH.

Sorry - All of us are very hot about it. Next time we see him, he's gonna get an earful from at least 3, if not more, very angry mama bears!

[onetwoten]

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

Sometimes it's like she thinks she's as old as the rest of the people in the house and she should be able to do all the things that she sees us do. But she can't. Because she's 28" tall.

The photo session today...man, I should have taken a xanex or something beforehand! We arrived a few minutes early and the baby before her went long and there are no doors on the photo studio and Ava kept going to the door to watch which would distract the other baby. Ugh. So then we got about 10 mins in to the session and the photographer tried to take away the Elmo she had been playing with while we changed scenes. Oh boy. Screaming, tears, red face. Photo session over. Then since the baby in front of us had such a long session, that family had like 50 photos to go through and choose pics. So by the time I sat down with Ava's pics, it had been almost an hour since her pics were taken. Ava was toast. And the photo girl was trying to make cards and crap and I was just like "let me get my $7.99 coupon package and get the hell out of here!"...gah!

You guys, I think Ava is weaning herself and I'm super sad. I'm kicking myself now for introducing that vanilla milk. That's what she wants now, even when it's cut with regular milk. I was just so freaked out when I was hardly getting anything out last week. Ohhhh. I want to cry. She wouldn't even drink her bottle of BM at nap. Although, I think her throat was hurting her so maybe it's just a fluke. She would suck for 30 seconds or so and then cry.

What are the babies getting for Christmas? Ava is getting a shopping cart, a stuffed Elmo, the book Click Clack Moo, Cows That Type, a Thomas the Train carrying case with stickers and an Elmo sippy cup w/straw. And playdough in her stocking.

LOL! So true. Tenley wants to play on our laptops and phones, and with the remote, and she mimics us so well, but yeah... just a toddler, lol, not an adult or teenager.  

We have a family/ Tenley photo shoot tomorrow afternoon. I'm so excited, but also nervous about how she's going to do. We're going for two hours, and it will be partly outside and partly inside in a studio. I'm assuming I'm going to have to nurse her partway through to kind of help her mood. We went last night to find outfit help, and couldn't find anything I loved. But I think it'll be ok. The photog seems like she's pretty good at just shooting naturally and not worrying about it being posed and perfect. I like that, and I think it'll help. 

Ohhh Annie :(  I imagine that's such a hard thing, especially since you have put SO much effort and time into this. But if she is weaning, don't forget to be thankful for how much milk you've been able to give her. 18 months of breastmilk is HUGE for her! 

 

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

Oh! And I got awesome news today! Ava's sitter asked me if I would be her doula! I haven't attended a birth since before I got pregnant with Ava so I'm super excited. AND as fate would have it, I got an email tonight from my doula group that one of our local hospitals has set up a meeting for Feb for doulas to get a tour of the new hospital and have a roundtable discussion with the head CBE and some of the nurses. So awesome!
 

That's so exciting!! I've been so excited to attend births since my birth, but alas, not meant to be right now. 

 

Originally Posted by akind1 

Christmas: Norah is getting playsilks and a sort of tissue box to store them (so she can pull them out, hopefully, instead of tissues - among other things one can do with playsilks), a doll, and a box with a couple books and a pillow pet mini. My mom is getting her some toys (a doll house, some ball popper thing that requires batteries, and IDK what else. She's in charge of the annoying toys that stay with grammy LOL). MIL is getting Norah books.

MW: while we may not have as many toys and stuff as you, I hear you - it's hard to give people ideas - I honestly don't want more things, and with kids so close in age, they really don't NEED more. As Gabe gets older, he will be getting things that perhaps Norah shouldn't play with yet, but that's it. I love the idea of the open ended Waldorf-y type toys. I wish they were cheaper LOL

Not much you can do if she's not interested, unless she's just going through a strike? It's up to you whether to push through it (keep pumping and offering, and she might regain interest) or take the opportunity to wean.

Oooh playsilks in a tissue box is brilliant!! 

I was wondering about the weaning too. From what I understand, this is a common time for a nursing strike. It could just be that. 

For gifts-- we didn't end up getting nealy as many quality wooden or waldorf type toys as I wanted. We ended up getting more things that we needed, since I know she won't care as long as she gets to open something! lol Right now under the tree we have plastic bowls, plastic cups, an Ikea pots and pans set, a new diaper, a new wetbag, maybe another 4 diapers if they get here in time, and that might be almost it. Her big gift was supposed to be the kitchen we're making, which is going to be probably $150 after we finish, so we didn't spend a lot of money on other things. Unfortunately... the kitchen isn't ready yet! lol So it'll be more like a valentines present!!

But, she also has tons coming from family, a little people farm, a plasma car, more books, play food, a leapfrog doll, blocks, a leapfrog picnic basket, a stroller and bathtub for her baby. Those are just the gifts we know about, plus what she got from her birthday.  I figure we'll go through our wishlist in a few months again and decide what else we want to give her, and maybe make Easter a gift opportunity in our home from now on. Who knows. 

Anyways... nap time apparently. 

[MarineWife]

I don't like those kinds of hospital doula programs. It seems to me to be just another way for doctors and hospitals to control things. How can you possibly get the kind of support you want from a doula if you don't meet the person until you are in the hospital in labor? That just doesn't make sense for that kind of thing. I guess it may still be nice for some people who hadn't thought about a doula and suddenly find themselves in need of someone to just be with them. The doula I had at Kellen's home birth got so frustrated with the hospitals and doctors here that she quit. She said it was too much of a fight every single time and she is a very strong, outspoken person. The medical personnel would constantly interfere and not let her do her job.

I like open ended toys but I'm not a Waldorf fan. I read up on the Waldorf philosophy when Kellen was a little baby because a friend had her older child in a Waldorf co-op so I was interested. It's very strange, other worldly (and kind of creepy to me, anyway). I have also found that kids can come up with all kinds of new and interesting ways to play with even the most limited looking toys. Of course, you may not want them doing that with a computer or iPad.

I told dh yesterday that I'd like to get a laptop for Dylan. He wants so badly to bang on ours, which is not a good idea. I tried to get my old one to work using one of the Linux boot discs my dad gave me but they all want logins and passwords. I don't remember any of them. Anyway, I have not been able to find a computer for a toddler/young child that works pretty much like ours rather than one of those "educational" ones with a tiny screen and just reading, writing, spelling and math programs. I put a Kindle Fire on my Amazon wish list and told dh about it. Hopefully, he'll get that for me. Then I can get a protective cover for it so Dylan can use it. I saw some specifically for toddlers at TRU. I let him play on my phone but he can't really do it on his own yet. He also got Kellen's Mobigo and he likes to play with that but, again, he's not quite where he can really do it alone yet so it gets frustrating for everyone after a little while.

I didn't think about a nursing strike. Does that apply to bottle feeding?

I would lose it a stranger put his hands on my child like that! I guess if you aren't sure he actually touched her, then it's best not to freak about it. But I'd keep a much closer eye on the both of them if they are ever around each other again. Maybe block from entry into the house if he shows up for Christmas.

OMG! A neighbor boy just came over, came inside, petted the cat for a second, asked where Ethan was (he's still sleeping) and then left without saying a word and left my front door wide open. WTH? He's 6, I think. He has an older brother who is 8 or 9. Everyone fights with the older brother. I feel bad for him because no one wants to play with him but he's mean. He has actually grabbed Ethan by the neck and thrown him on the ground a couple of times. He's done the same sort of thing with some of the other boys. He gets angry and calls them names and says he's going to punch them or kill them a lot. Ryan said he's heard their dad doing essentially the same thing to them, calling them shitheads right out on the street.

[Baby_Cakes]

MW we got Nora Nintendo DS when she was 3, b/c we looked at all those leap pad type things and felt the same way.  Just too limited and not worth the money.

Totally could be a strike, lauri.  But I agree with MW.  Weaning IS natural and normal, and isn't your fault or anything you have done wrong.  While the average age might be 4 or 5, there are kids who are ready to wean earlier (I think they are the more independent sassy types, myself, Nora weaned early with no fight, and Ava is such an independent little thing).  That said, keep offering if you aren't ready to be done yet.  No harm in that.  ((hugs)) b/c it is truly bittersweet!    Don't forget how amazing you have done pumping exclusively for her and giving her milk for this long.  

Gifts, gifts, gifts.  I'll prob forget a few b/c I'm done wrapping already, but!  I (and family) got for Finn:

A set of Lincoln Logs

Kitchen helper to share with Nora

plastic funnels from Ikea

puppets from Ikea

fisher price Servin' surprises kitchen with the bday cake set. 

T ball set (to share)

Green toys Firetruck and a firetruck touch and feel book (his uncle is a firefighter), and a M&D firetruck floor puzzle

Green Toys dump truck

B Carosel bells (looked cool!)

Viewmaster  (to share)

M&D click clack frog pull toy

Jumbo zoo animals figurines

plus assorted clothes, and odds and ends I've picked up here and there.  Oh and my MIL got him some huge pirate ship from Jake and the Neverland Pirates.  

AFM - still sick.  Ugh.  I was up coughing all night until I took benadryl at 2 am just so I could fall asleep!  Ugh.  It's all in my chest and throat apparently.  And my sinuses, but not my nose.  I'm not runny at all -- ti's just pressure and my ears hurt.  Does using garlic oil in your ears make your mouth taste like you ate italian tho?  Ha!

Mw - Waldorf creeps me out, too.  I don't like it at all.  

When I become a doula, I hope that I can get to know enough of the personnel at hospitals that they like me, but I wouldn't want to be a hospital doula.  For the same reason I couldn't be a hospital LC.  I think I would be too directed by the hospital to really help anyone.  I would ideally like to run bf'ing classes, and be primarily  a homebirth/transfer doula.

Edited by Baby_Cakes - 12/21/12 at 10:59am

[onetwoten]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

I like open ended toys but I'm not a Waldorf fan. I read up on the Waldorf philosophy when Kellen was a little baby because a friend had her older child in a Waldorf co-op so I was interested. It's very strange, other worldly (and kind of creepy to me, anyway). I have also found that kids can come up with all kinds of new and interesting ways to play with even the most limited looking toys. Of course, you may not want them doing that with a computer or iPad.
I told dh yesterday that I'd like to get a laptop for Dylan. He wants so badly to bang on ours, which is not a good idea. I tried to get my old one to work using one of the Linux boot discs my dad gave me but they all want logins and passwords. I don't remember any of them. Anyway, I have not been able to find a computer for a toddler/young child that works pretty much like ours rather than one of those "educational" ones with a tiny screen and just reading, writing, spelling and math programs. I put a Kindle Fire on my Amazon wish list and told dh about it. Hopefully, he'll get that for me. Then I can get a protective cover for it so Dylan can use it. I saw some specifically for toddlers at TRU. I let him play on my phone but he can't really do it on his own yet. He also got Kellen's Mobigo and he likes to play with that but, again, he's not quite where he can really do it alone yet so it gets frustrating for everyone after a little while.

We looked at the leapfrog iphone case for kids that I think you're talkng about. I don't think Tenley is ready for it yet either though. Maybe in the summer or next year. Right now she just bashes buttons, even on the games I've found, she's not quite at that stage yet.  I'm not a huge fan of kids having many electronics this early on, but I think it depends on the kids too. My nieces all have super addictive personalities, so for instance my oldest niece is 8-- she has an actual laptop, one of those kids laptops you mentioned, an ipod touch with a program added on so that she can make phone calls, an ipod shuffle of some sort, a 3DS, and those are just the recent things she's had, and not the family video games like the Wii or the ps3 etc. She has in total probably half a dozen handheld gaming sets. Every time something new comes out, she gets it. Which is not in itself a bad thing-- but she doesn't know how to play without an electronic device, which to me is sad. She doesn't know how to do imaginative play at all, and practically twitches when she isn't with technology.   I think there are definitely kids who can get a DS or an ipod touch or what have you, and just play with it as an additional toy like any other, but apparently not my nieces! lol

I can't say I really know much about the actual Waldorf philosophies, lol, just that I like the type of toys that are generally associated with it. I love openended play and imagination, and just... I don't know- the kinds of things we used to enjoy as kids, rather than everything needed to have batteries and flashing lights, etc etc. Tenley is into music right now, so she'll crawl over and grab her blocks and start tapping them together, and then seeing what they sound like when she taps them on different things. I LOVE that!! 

[EuroMama]

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Edited by EuroMama - 12/22/12 at 8:22am

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by onetwoten 

We looked at the leapfrog iphone case for kids that I think you're talkng about. I don't think Tenley is ready for it yet either though. Maybe in the summer or next year. Right now she just bashes buttons, even on the games I've found, she's not quite at that stage yet.  I'm not a huge fan of kids having many electronics this early on, but I think it depends on the kids too. My nieces all have super addictive personalities, so for instance my oldest niece is 8-- she has an actual laptop, one of those kids laptops you mentioned, an ipod touch with a program added on so that she can make phone calls, an ipod shuffle of some sort, a 3DS, and those are just the recent things she's had, and not the family video games like the Wii or the ps3 etc. She has in total probably half a dozen handheld gaming sets. Every time something new comes out, she gets it. Which is not in itself a bad thing-- but she doesn't know how to play without an electronic device, which to me is sad. She doesn't know how to do imaginative play at all, and practically twitches when she isn't with technology.   I think there are definitely kids who can get a DS or an ipod touch or what have you, and just play with it as an additional toy like any other, but apparently not my nieces! lol

I can't say I really know much about the actual Waldorf philosophies, lol, just that I like the type of toys that are generally associated with it. I love openended play and imagination, and just... I don't know- the kinds of things we used to enjoy as kids, rather than everything needed to have batteries and flashing lights, etc etc. Tenley is into music right now, so she'll crawl over and grab her blocks and start tapping them together, and then seeing what they sound like when she taps them on different things. I LOVE that!! 

Oh, that is really crappy about all those electronics.  Everything in moderation!   

Waldorf.  Oye.  Here is a gist of some of the things I take issue with.  http://smrtlernins.com/2010/11/16/ask-a-smrt-homeschooler-about-the-waldorf-method/

It's just not how I would choose to educate, that's all.  I'm sure it works for some.  I don't think it's wrong or bad, persay, well -- maybe some of it -- but over all you just have to think about your own values and weigh them against the teaching method.

[MarineWife]

Before I get into something else and forget again, the test was negative. You all had probably guessed that since I hadn't been back on here freaking out but now you know.

Ethan and Kellen both have a DS. Dylan likes to mess with those, too. He doesn't damage them. He just doesn't know how to work them. I put some baby apps on my phone but the same thing. He always ends up pushing the "home" button and then gets upset because the game is gone. With the Mobigo, he constantly slides the thing closed and then freaks because he wants it open. He won't play with it with the keypad covered but can't seem to not close it. He does bang on the laptop, which is why I don't want him messing with that. That's why I thought it would be nice for him to have his own. He's not interested in or fooled by baby ones, though, that don't do anything. Whenever we would try to give him a baby play phone instead of one of ours he would just throw it down. He knew it wasn't the same.

IDK about the whole addicted to technology thing. Some people just aren't wired for much imaginative play, I think. I guess I can understand that more because I am one of those people. I didn't have all of this technology growing up but I still wasn't much into complete make believe. I would rather read books or do math problems from a textbook or something like that. I didn't like board games. We did eventually get a commodore 6400 and then maybe the original Nintendo for the TV but I didn't like those, either. I don't like games, really. So I don't look at someone with a lot of electronic devices and think addiction. I just think that's what they like. I don't see how it's any different than having a house full of books.

The world is driven by electronic devices and it's only going to become moreso. I think we are doing our children a disservice if we don't allow them access to the technology that runs the world as early as possible. The sooner they can use it, the sooner they can learn it intuitively. I think that will set them up for many opportunities as adults. I also think it's pretty hypocritical for me to have my laptop and my smartphone and my Nook and maybe a tablet and tell my children they can't have those things or some other electronic device that they want. Since I don't want to give those things up because I happen to like having them and don't feel bad about it, I'm not going to block my children from them.

Dylan does that sort of things with sounds and objects. I was joking for the longest time that he liked to do table dances because he would get on the coffee table and stomp and dance around. Then he started climbing onto anything he could and doing the same thing. It finally dawned on me that he was listening to the different sounds the different things made. The coffee table makes a banging sound because it's a storage one. He also likes to take all the plastic storage containers out and sort and stack them and bang pots and pans and kitchen utensils. He loves music. Whenever he hears any music from anywhere he stops and starts swinging his head and dancing.

Oh, new words: Poop and Butt.

[akind1]

I like the toys I see on in the Etsy Waldorf section. mostly wooden, wool, natural fibers, open ended, etc. I like the idea of open ended creative play (but honestly, that can be gotten from mismatched tupperware and wooden spoons and scarves, etc) I've not researched much else into it yet.

MW: don't bother getting a kid specific case, just get a heavy duty regular one. We have one by Griffin - the Survivor case - for the iPad. It cost nearly $90, but it's so worth it. It  has probably saved the ipad from pure destruction (including Gabe cracking eggs on it) more than once. It's not pretty, it's purely utilitarian, but its incredibly functional and worth it. 

We've had this arguement with some some of the older generation, about Leapsters/Vtech VS ipad/iphones/etc. My thing is that there are educational apps available for the ipad, iphone, kindle, all that, that are actually far better geared towards younger ages than anything Leapster or Vtech has come up with. And the device will truly grow with your kids. Yes, they are probably a higher up front cost, but it's a better quality device that everyone in the house can use. The older people are all like, why not do baby steps, or you are spoiling them by giving them such stuff, and I'm like, The device is really for anyone to use - it's not just for the kids. And why should I get them a crappier option, just because it's marginally cheaper and technically "geared" towards kids? You can set up all kind of parental controls on the other devices if you have concerns about that stuff. (Personally I just prefer to supervise at this age)

I think it's great for them to learn to become accustomed to technology at a young age. But like anything, moderation is not bad. I should moderate TV more . . .

Also, hooray for BFN?

Norah loves music too - she's already trying to sing <3

[MarineWife]

Yes, hooray for BFN. I was not disappointed at all. Whew!

Thanks for the info on the covers. Any tablet I get would be for everyone to use, not just the kids. I like to have multiple options so that everyone can use something if they want.

I've been thinking about the addiction thing some more. I know we've discussed it a few times and I've stated my position. I wanted to share some examples that I have witnessed. When Ryan was younger (before unschooling), I had lots of restrictions of TV watching and later video games and computer use. The more I tried to control and restrict what and for how long he used any of those the more he wanted to use them. He would use all of his allotted time on whichever he was allowed at the time. He would sneak and hide, too. He likes to tell me now about how he got to watch all the movies and play all the games I wouldn't let him at his friends house. However, once I let go of all of that, after a transition period, he wasn't as attached to any of those. He did and does play his video games during his free time but if there's something else to do, he'll do that instead. He works. He gets enough sleep. He has friends and a serious girlfriend. The games don't run his life.

Another more recent example involves a friend's child. This friend has told me several times that her one child would do nothing but watch TV or play video or computer games if she allowed him so she restricts them. When he comes over here he can watch all the TV he wants. My friend knows that. I don't try to get the kids to do anything else. What I have seen is that this boy will sit and watch a little TV but once all the other kids get up and run outside to play, he follows soon after them. He did go through a time when he would sit in our house and watch TV when no other kids were in here. That lasted a few weeks. I thought it was funny. Ryan would be like, "Who is that random kid in our house when no one else is?" But after a few weeks of that (and maybe realizing that I wasn't going to make him do something else) he started doing other things on his own. What's interesting to me is that my friend loves it when he stays up til all hours of the night reading a book but will not let him watch TV for an hour in the middle of the day.

[akind1]

That is interesting. The TV is just on all day - it's not like the kids sit and veg the whole time it's on (if they did, I'd be far more concerned) and it's on kid-centered programs. Gabe has learned alot from them, so I'm not really knocking it. Once I get to a point where we have a bit more of a routine (I'd really like to start having a crafty/hands on activity every day - or at least most days - I'd like to turn it off while we do that stuff. I also want to start doing outside time more regularly. Today was gorgeous but far too windy.

I really liked the day care I worked at because they didn't allow ANY TV. the day cares I've seen that do allow it - the lights are dark, the kids just sit and stare. I don't think that's very healthy.

I'd like to think my kids are self moderating . . . I hope so.

IDK which Kindle you have on your list, but probably the closest thing to what we have on the iPad is madeby Otterbox for Kindle

[lyterae]

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

Lyterae, I'm so sorry about your loss. I don't think we are friends on FB but feel free to friend me if you would like. My real name is Lauri. I'm friends w/MW, Baby_Cakes, akind1 and JJ.

 Added you, I had to wait till I was on a computer. :)

Originally Posted by MarineWife 


Onto other business. Do your toddlers fuss a lot? Dylan seems to fuss and cry and scream and get angry a lot. I know being a toddler can be very frustrating because he wants to do so much more than he can. This morning he had a screaming fit because I wouldn't let him get a roll of toilet paper out. He pushes and hits and screams and flops himself on the floor. I swear Ethan and Kellen didn't do that. I do remember Ethan being fussy sometimes but not like that. I don't remember Kellen being like that at all. He was very chill. It upsets me because I'm worried that it means he's not getting enough love and attention just because I have other kids I have to do things for, too.

 Ben has suddenly decided he is "2", he fusses over everything now and throws tantrums whenever I tell him no (which leads to him hitting and throwing things around the room). I'm hoping it is being exaserbated by the the fact that he is getting molars in and not that this is our new normal.

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

The photo session today...man, I should have taken a xanex or something beforehand! We arrived a few minutes early and the baby before her went long and there are no doors on the photo studio and Ava kept going to the door to watch which would distract the other baby. Ugh. So then we got about 10 mins in to the session and the photographer tried to take away the Elmo she had been playing with while we changed scenes. Oh boy. Screaming, tears, red face. Photo session over. Then since the baby in front of us had such a long session, that family had like 50 photos to go through and choose pics. So by the time I sat down with Ava's pics, it had been almost an hour since her pics were taken. Ava was toast. And the photo girl was trying to make cards and crap and I was just like "let me get my $7.99 coupon package and get the hell out of here!"...gah!

You guys, I think Ava is weaning herself and I'm super sad. I'm kicking myself now for introducing that vanilla milk. That's what she wants now, even when it's cut with regular milk. I was just so freaked out when I was hardly getting anything out last week. Ohhhh. I want to cry. She wouldn't even drink her bottle of BM at nap. Although, I think her throat was hurting her so maybe it's just a fluke. She would suck for 30 seconds or so and then cry.

What are the babies getting for Christmas? Ava is getting a shopping cart, a stuffed Elmo, the book Click Clack Moo, Cows That Type, a Thomas the Train carrying case with stickers and an Elmo sippy cup w/straw. And playdough in her stocking.

   I'm sorry the photo session didn't go as well as hoped, we had pictures done in October and Ben was either crying the whole time or stone faced. I have no pictures of him smiling (and he has a beautiful smile!). I'm also sorry to hear that Ava may be weaning, I hope you are able to get her nursing again.

 Ben is getting a Darth Vader potato head and a Waldorf doll (I finally finished the doll I started many years ago). His sister got him a big blue ball for Christmas.There are some small trucks and a dinosaur thrown in there as well I think.

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

Oh! And I got awesome news today! Ava's sitter asked me if I would be her doula! I haven't attended a birth since before I got pregnant with Ava so I'm super excited. AND as fate would have it, I got an email tonight from my doula group that one of our local hospitals has set up a meeting for Feb for doulas to get a tour of the new hospital and have a roundtable discussion with the head CBE and some of the nurses. So awesome!
 

 Yay for birth and babies! :)

[lyterae]

We are hurriedly trying to finish up our basement in time for Christmas as well as doing everything else. My parents are watching the kids tomorrow so we can have a lunch date and finish some shopping. I'm not looking forward to shopping, but some time with my hubby will be wonderful.

I spent the afternoon in the ER today with our good friend and neighbor after her husband was taken in by ambulance. He had a heart attack and unfortunately didn't make it. 

This past month has really opened our eyes up to the fact that DD doesn't seem to respond appropriately in sad situations, she honestly has seemed quite pleased both times we have had to give her sad news. You can watch her working herself up to cry.... We aren't sure what to do but it seems very wrong. She is very very smart but doesn't seem to understand that these are sad things and that people are sad and she is not sensitive about any of it, she seems to enjoy the drama of it all. We're very much considering if we need to see a psychologist (psychiatrist?) or something.

[MarineWife]

i'm so sorry for your friend.

your dd is only 6, right? i wouldn't expect a 6 yo to feel sad about sad news that doesn't really affect her. idk if a 6 yo would necessarily have the capacity to feel empathy. Some may but I wouldn't expect all of them to. Kellen is almost 5 and half and I don't think he gets stuff like. We had a neighborhood family who's mother died just a few weeks ago under suspicious circumstances, possibly suicide. Ethan and Kellen play with the kids. Ethan was very upset by and insisted that I take him to the viewing. We were only there a few minutes, spoke to the boy that Ethan is friends with very briefly, and Ethan asked to leave. He said it was so sad that he felt like he might have cried if he had stayed. We left. Kellen didn't seem to have any reaction to the news. Maybe your DD is trying to make herself cry because she's sensing that you all expect her to cry but she doesn't really feel it. It's ok for her to not feel sad and/or cry over something like that. Maybe it's not that she so much likes the drama as she's just watching and trying to figure what all the fuss is about.

[onetwoten]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

Oh, that is really crappy about all those electronics.  Everything in moderation!   

Waldorf.  Oye.  Here is a gist of some of the things I take issue with.  http://smrtlernins.com/2010/11/16/ask-a-smrt-homeschooler-about-the-waldorf-method/

It's just not how I would choose to educate, that's all.  I'm sure it works for some.  I don't think it's wrong or bad, persay, well -- maybe some of it -- but over all you just have to think about your own values and weigh them against the teaching method.

Oh dear. They lost me at the no technology thing, and then it just got worse and worse. So add me to the not-so-into-waldorf-unless-it's-just-toys camp. That article is right, it seems a little cultist and extreme! 

I don't think kids should be kept away from technology (or learning in general) I just wish that more parents approached it from a more balanced viewpoint. Kids need more examples of how these are great, fun, amazing pieces of technology... but that they don't need to consume all of our free time either. 

Originally Posted by akind1 

I like the toys I see on in the Etsy Waldorf section. mostly wooden, wool, natural fibers, open ended, etc. I like the idea of open ended creative play (but honestly, that can be gotten from mismatched tupperware and wooden spoons and scarves, etc) I've not researched much else into it yet.

MW: don't bother getting a kid specific case, just get a heavy duty regular one. We have one by Griffin - the Survivor case - for the iPad. It cost nearly $90, but it's so worth it. It  has probably saved the ipad from pure destruction (including Gabe cracking eggs on it) more than once. It's not pretty, it's purely utilitarian, but its incredibly functional and worth it. 

Yeah, that was pretty much my thoughts on Waldorf. Now I'm a little bugged out! lol

I thought the kids case restricted the buttons? Not entirely sure. That's the only thing we were interested in. Tenley does the same thing as Dylan, where she presses the home button, then gets angry because she turned her game off! 

We have an Otterbox for the ipod and for my phone. LOVE them. We've even dropped the ipod in he tub before, and when we took the case off, it was still completely dry inside (it's NOT rated as a waterproof case , so we were impressed). 

Originally Posted by lyterae 

We are hurriedly trying to finish up our basement in time for Christmas as well as doing everything else. My parents are watching the kids tomorrow so we can have a lunch date and finish some shopping. I'm not looking forward to shopping, but some time with my hubby will be wonderful.

I spent the afternoon in the ER today with our good friend and neighbor after her husband was taken in by ambulance. He had a heart attack and unfortunately didn't make it. 

This past month has really opened our eyes up to the fact that DD doesn't seem to respond appropriately in sad situations, she honestly has seemed quite pleased both times we have had to give her sad news. You can watch her working herself up to cry.... We aren't sure what to do but it seems very wrong. She is very very smart but doesn't seem to understand that these are sad things and that people are sad and she is not sensitive about any of it, she seems to enjoy the drama of it all. We're very much considering if we need to see a psychologist (psychiatrist?) or something.

:( I'm sorry for your neighbor. That must be hard even to just sit there with her. That's a lot of emotions. 

Is it that perhaps she's responding to the nervous tension? It's not uncommon for people to respond to heightened emotional settings with laughter or smiles, the same way that some people respond to yelling bursting out in tears. It's an inappropriate emotional response, but it's because your brain just can't compute what it's supposed to be feeling under the circumstances, and pretty much just can't handle the stress. I remember a particularly embarassing experience where I was at summer Bible camp, and there was a drama enactment going on about how Judas felt when betraying Jesus, and everyone around me was bawling their eyes out, but this other girl and I both locked eyes and burst into laughter. Nothing about it was funny. We didn't think it was funny or anything-- our brains just couldn't process the heightened emotion and so they did something they did know how to do to release tension- laugh. 

If she's not showing other worrying behaviors (meanness to others or animals, acting out disturbing things through play, an extreme interest in dark things etc), then I would probably just chalk it up to a combination of not knowing how to display/process the emotions, or maybe as MW said, just not old enough to really understand empathy yet. It could be either or both. 

So... I didn't pump at work today. I normally nurse at about 130pm, and then I don't pump until around 9, and I'm ok. I feel a little full, but not at all sore or engorged. So... I didn't pump tonight. I just figured I'd pump when I got home. OMG!! I was ok until like 10m maybe 1030, and then all of a sudden I was like ahhhhhhh!! And I practically counted the minutes until I would be at home and could pump. I ended up getting 8oz, and then I stopped because one bottle was full and I'm too lazy to go grab another one and switch them over. So, apparenlty no skipping pumping at work anymore in favor of coming home early!

[akind1]

On one hand, your DD reaction could be completely normal. But if it concerns you (you have the mama instincts) it wouldn't hurt to talk to a children or family psychiatrist.

I haven't looked much at the kids cases - we are just as clumsy as the kids, and I don't want to keep having to switch between kid and grown up cases. But that's just us.

We have 2 birthday parties to go to today. The first will be your typical sugar fest, but not slot of kids. The second one will have more kids, but the family is super crunchy and gluten free. Both should be interesting.

[onetwoten]

That's true. I didn't think about having to switch back and forth. I wouldn't want to do that ash case is very snug in my phone and would probably loosen if I took it on and off.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by akind1 

On one hand, your DD reaction could be completely normal. But if it concerns you (you have the mama instincts) it wouldn't hurt to talk to a children or family psychiatrist.

If all it is is the parents talking to an "expert", it may not hurt. However, taking a child to see a counselor of any sort with the presumption or concern that there might be something wrong with the child could hurt the child. That can make the child feel like something is wrong with her when there isn't really anything wrong at all. And, yeah, I know a lot of people say they took their child to a counselor and it didn't bother the child, but is that really true? The child may not be able to express how it bothered her or may not even understand but just have an off feeling about it all. Any negative feelings that the child got about herself because of that may not become apparent until years later. I do think that counseling is important when needed but I think parents need to be very careful about taking their children to a counselor because they perceive a possible problem with the child.

Originally Posted by onetwoten 

Oh dear. They lost me at the no technology thing, and then it just got worse and worse. So add me to the not-so-into-waldorf-unless-it's-just-toys camp. That article is right, it seems a little cultist and extreme! ... Yeah, that was pretty much my thoughts on Waldorf. Now I'm a little bugged out! lol

It is kind of creepy, isn't it?

I thought the kids case restricted the buttons? Not entirely sure. That's the only thing we were interested in. Tenley does the same thing as Dylan, where she presses the home button, then gets angry because she turned her game off! 

We have an Otterbox for the ipod and for my phone. LOVE them. We've even dropped the ipod in he tub before, and when we took the case off, it was still completely dry inside (it's NOT rated as a waterproof case , so we were impressed). 

I'm sorry for your neighbor. That must be hard even to just sit there with her. That's a lot of emotions. 

Originally Posted by onetwoten 

Is it that perhaps she's responding to the nervous tension? It's not uncommon for people to respond to heightened emotional settings with laughter or smiles, the same way that some people respond to yelling bursting out in tears. It's an inappropriate emotional response, but it's because your brain just can't compute what it's supposed to be feeling under the circumstances, and pretty much just can't handle the stress. I remember a particularly embarassing experience where I was at summer Bible camp, and there was a drama enactment going on about how Judas felt when betraying Jesus, and everyone around me was bawling their eyes out, but this other girl and I both locked eyes and burst into laughter. Nothing about it was funny. We didn't think it was funny or anything-- our brains just couldn't process the heightened emotion and so they did something they did know how to do to release tension- laugh.

I used to laugh uncontrollably at inappropriate times because I wasn't comfortable expressing any kind of emotion that I thought signaled weakness. Crying is one of those emotions. I still have a very hard time crying in front of anyone. 

I was reading a little on empathy yesterday and it seems that the consensus is that it is a learned skill rather than an inherent emotion. So, especially with that, I would expect that different people would learn it at different times and some not at all if they're not really exposed to it and have it modeled appropriately.

It can be helpful to understand the difference between sympathy and empathy. Sympathy is when you feel the same way as the other person. Empathy is when you understand the feelings of the other person but you don't necessarily feel the same yourself. So, it is possible that she is empathetic but not sympathetic but she may think there's an expectation that she express sympathy (although I'm sure she couldn't put it into words like that).

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

I was reading a little on empathy yesterday and it seems that the consensus is that it is a learned skill rather than an inherent emotion. So, especially with that, I would expect that different people would learn it at different times and some not at all if they're not really exposed to it and have it modeled appropriately.
It can be helpful to understand the difference between sympathy and empathy. Sympathy is when you feel the same way as the other person. Empathy is when you understand the feelings of the other person but you don't necessarily feel the same yourself. So, it is possible that she is empathetic but not sympathetic but she may think there's an expectation that she express sympathy (although I'm sure she couldn't put it into words like that).

I struggle to understand why Nora has no sympathy OR empathy.  It is really hard at times.  I'm sick, so I say something like, "Nora please don't climb on me, I'm sick." "Well, I'm not." and she continues to climb.  I'll say, "Nora, you can't scream like that in finn's face.  It scares him and hurts his feelings,"  "Well it doesn't scare me!"  And so on.  I just feel like she's callous.  I read that it is normal to a degree but sometimes, man.  I just can't get my head around how little she cares about anyone else!

I know  a bunch of you don't leave your kids with others but yesterday we dropped the kids off with grandma/grandpa and uncles.  Well.  We got back and apparently Nora was misbehaving a bit.  MIL said she was walking on the window seat and taking down decorations.  When MIL asked her to please put them back up, she got sassy and said no you! and then hit her uncle in the face.  She said she "threatened" a time out.  

Part of me feels like since we don't do time out, this doesn't go along with my parenting philosophy but another part of me feels like it's ok for Gma and Gpa's house to have different discipline.  

I feel like she was seriously testing their authority.  She shouldn't have hit.  It's something I'm really struggling with and trying to use GD to solve (time ins, etc, but I'm getting nowhere).  I'm not sure what else to do.  I have a good friend who uses time out solely for hitting.   Sigh.  Ideas?