Carrie ~ If you are sick, rest! The more you rest the sooner you'll get really better. Can't Chris help with your chores while you are down?
Kat ~ I hear you on this month flying by. It's already almost Ethan's birthday this Sunday! Do you need any boy stuff? I have a ton! (hmm...I've been trying to get this stuff out of my house forever. Maybe I'll just send it all to you and let you deal with. Mwahahaha
As usual, it has sneaked up on me even though I've been reminding myself of it since before Christmas. There is nothing to do in this town in the winter, nowhere to have a cool party for a 9 year old. My friend came up with the idea of a Lego party so we are going with that. She found some pics of some really cool cakes. I posted the one Ethan wants on my Facebook so I would remember and could show it to bakers on my phone. No one in this lame town does fondant! How can you bake specialty cakes and not do fondant? They also don't do specially shaped cakes or tiered cakes. WTH?! But, we may be saved. I forgot that Sean worked in a bakery for several years as a teenager. We're going to try to make it ourselves. Eeek! He came up with the idea of making a rectangular cake and putting a bunch of upside down cupcake bottoms around the cake like the pegs on a lego block. So easy! I found out you can buy sheets of already made and colored fondant at Michael's Craft Store. The only problem is that it doesn't taste very good. But, Sean looked some things up yesterday and said you are supposed to put buttercream frosting on the cake before putting the fondant on, so that should make it taste ok.
I still need to get to TRU and the party supply store to see if I can find Lego plates, cups, decorations and a pinata. I'm excited about it all now. Yesterday, I was upset that I had, again, waited too long and couldn't find anywhere to have a party. If this goes well, maybe most of our parties will be at home from now on.
Kellen has been really hyper at night the past 3 or 4 nights, too. I don't know what that's about. He's always full of energy but these past few days he has been out of control. I was awake at 7:30 this morning because he peed on me in his sleep! He has peed in his pants several times in the past couple of days because he's been so busy playing that he didn't want to stop to go to the bathroom. He peed in his pants at the bakery yesterday even though there was a bathroom right there. When I asked him why he didn't tell me he had to go he just shrugged. Sean said he's becoming more and more like Ryan and that is so true. Ryan wet the bed sometimes until he was 9 or 10 years old.
Yes, we are seeing the counselor again Monday and then Tuesday of the following week because she's not working on MLK, Jr. day. After that we will, hopefully, see her every Monday night regularly. I've seen her before. She's the counselor I went to a few times right after having Dylan. I think we'll be ok with her. She did give me a funny look when I told her the story about not going to the Marine Corps Ball because Dylan was/is still nursing. But, all she said about that was to ask if I never pumped and gave a bottle, to which I said I don't. If she asks more, I'll just explain how it works to her.
I think it was really good for Sean to hear from a 3rd party who sees a lot of single and married Marines that our issues are normal for the Marine Corps. and having to go through multiple deployments, especially longer ones like he has had to do. I've been telling him that since he came home after Kellen was born but he wouldn't accept it. He always took it as me attacking the Marine Corps. He still doesn't understand me much, which is really frustrating because I'm not a wishy-washy, guess what I'm thinking kind of person. I tell it like it is but he seems to not believe that. He thinks he has to interpret some hidden message but there isn't one.
It was kind of funny on the drive home because I asked what he thought of it. He said he thought it was a good start. He said one of the main things he got out of it was to learn how I really felt. Um, I've been telling him how I really feel for years now, but ok. So, what new thing did he learn about how I feel? He said that I think of myself as solely a mother because I said that is who I am. Again, um, no, I never said that. What I said was that being a mother is a very big part of who I am right now. That's a perfect example of him trying to interpret what I've said and making it something that it's not. Maybe it's because I said that it's my job and him refusing to do something with the kids the way I do it is like me going to his office and doing his job and telling him to piss off when he tells me that they don't do things that way but they do them this way instead. His job, his title, is who he is. He doesn't work for the Marine Corps. He is a Marine. So maybe the work analogy that I used made him think that I thought of myself as only what I do for my "work".
Also, I've been telling him stuff like that forever. I have always said if I am ever put in a situation where I have to chose what's best for my kids or something, I will choose my kids every time. It started with him becoming Ryan's stepfather. I told him straight up that if he ever put me in a position where I felt I had to choose between the two of them, I would choose Ryan. I told him that was about abuse situations but he took that to me for any little thing. Again, him trying to interpret what I mean instead of just taking my words at face value.
So, the last thing I told him is that maybe he should take whatever he thinks I have meant and tell himself that it's wrong and throw that idea out the window and then think about what's left.
Kind of like me deciding right before I met him that since I always seemed to choose idiot men that I would run the opposite direction from any man that I was immediately attracted to and go for the guy who seemed nice but didn't necessarily get my motor running right away. My first choice was obviously not the best one so I needed to throw those out.