December 2012 Rockstar Mamas - Page 4

[EuroMama]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

That's not something I would compromise on no matter who drives. I tell my dh that unless he can come up with scientific evidence that his way has benefits over mine I get the final say. I do all the research. He doesn't. I compare it to the fact that I don't show up at his job and tell him how to do it.
 

Yeah. I am not comfortable at all with FF so it won't happen. This is OUR child's safety, its not something I mess with. 

[akind1]

DH drives more than I do, but I get to install car seats (not much fun when like, 9 months pregnant) but still probably easier than it is for him, since he's so tall.  Don't compromise on safety!

And MW: LOL at hidden dryer sheets. DH won't buy them bc he says they are bad for the dryer. scented wool dryer balls are awesome and better anyway. - we use only eo, not perfumes, to scent ours. No harm to clothes or diapers.

Wedding tomorrow, and turns out DH doesn't have to work, so we can go to the reception! I just have to figure out shoes . . .

[Baby_Cakes]

kat - Wear sandals!  LOL!

Re: FF vs RF - such a heated topic, you know??  It's so much safer to RF, but I did turn Nora FF when she was 2.5.  Not the worst but not the best either.  It was really for my own convenience b/c I had a 2 door car, and with my huge pg belly I couldn't reach around to get her into the RF seat and buckle her anymore.  

I was a little nervous if she had outgrown her carseat now at 4 to switch to a booster.  I really want to keep her harnessed as long as financially/practically possible.

I can't imagine a FF 1 year old.  The videos of what their necks do in a crash are too too scary!  Fight for this one, EM!  We'll help you if you need links/support!

Hoping to get out with just Nora today for some mommy/daughter time.  Not sure what yet.  Her choice!

I need more coffee!

[MarineWife]

I have those rubber dryer balls. They work fine for me. DH says he's extra sensitive to static cling. None of my clothes get staticy. I think it's the material some of his clothes are made out of. He has a lot of those nylon sports clothes that are supposed to wick moisture away. Wool dryer balls are on my list of things to make, someday...I have so much I want to make.

Carrie ~ Could you get a seat that converts from a 5-point harness to a booster? That's what we use for Kellen. It's getting to be more of a tricky situation because Kellen's younger friends are in the same booster as Ethan and Ethan is starting to notice.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

Carrie ~ Could you get a seat that converts from a 5-point harness to a booster? That's what we use for Kellen. It's getting to be more of a tricky situation because Kellen's younger friends are in the same booster as Ethan and Ethan is starting to notice.

I think I technically have one of those.  Or are you thinking like the Frontier?  If I got a Frontier she could be harnessed practically forever.  85 lbs is what?  10 years old???  She's barely 38 lbs at 4.

I need to get her eating more consistently.  She's rail thin.

We had a great day.  Kat - looked like you had fun at the wedding!  You guys look so happy!  

Makes me want that spark back in my relationship. 

I need food!  Dinner is cooking.  Can't wait to eat and drink (more) wine and watch Walking Dead.  We are addicted to that show!!  Tho - we like it MUCH better than American Horror Story which scares me too much and Chris says wasn't good enough for how hyped it is.  MW what do you think?

[MarineWife]

We have a Frontier that we use in the van but I actually would not recommend it. It's nice with the harness but sucks as a booster. Ethan could still be in it. He weighs around 50 lbs. We also have a Graco for dh's truck. I think it's the Nautilus 3-in-1. I know it was maybe on the iffy list that you posted on Facebook. That list was a little confusing, though, because I don't think it had the complete, clear names of the seats. It fits and has worked fine so far.

I'm the opposite with those TV shows. I can't watch the Walking Dead because it scares me too much. Zombies have always freaked me out. I really like AHS. I've also been watching Dexter. I like watching it but I don't think it's as good as AHS. The thing I like about AHS is that it leaves me wondering who's really alive and who's actually dead. I also have always loved Jessica Lange. I think she's a phenomenal actor. Have you watched AHS Asylum? That was is fereeeeaky!

[Baby_Cakes]

We liked Dexter but stopped watching a ways in and didn't feel compelled to continue.  Not sure why...

We didn't get to asylum!  We only watched the first 3 episodes of the first season.  My nightmares were too bad!!

DH and I are at am impasse regarding some decisions that need to be made about the house.  Maybe you guys can help?  We are both being stubborn about what we think is best.  

1.  We have a SMALL dining room.  We don't use it.  We have a table and 2 chairs pushed against the wall but it only fits a bowl for fruit and honestly it's where I keep my laptop.  That's about it.  I want to get a bar table and 2 or 3 bar height chairs and create a "breakfast nook" type space, to help the room look functional.  Chris wants to get a big round table and stick it right in the center.  

I think the big round table will disrupt traffic flow and make it look even smaller.  I don't think a potential buyer wants to see that.  I think they want to see the space as something functional.  Thoughts?

2.  We have a metal awning that needs to come down above the front door.  I want to take it down and either leave it with nothing (filling in the gaps in the siding, of course) or replace it with a black fabric awning.  Chris thinks it should be cranberry colored to match the shutters.  

I think cranberry is too specific and not neutral enough.  Shutters are cheap and easy to replace if new owners want a different color.  But an awning is an expense they won't want to deal with.  I think neutral is better.  Thoughts?

3.  He wants to paint the white garage door cranberry.  I don't like this at all.  Thoughts?

My thinking is keep it as basic as possible, not doing things that are decorative to our tastes.  I think he thinks more color will attract more buyers.  Idk what to do.  If I give in on some of these I think it will make the house harder to sell.

[MarineWife]

From watching those shows about selling homes, it seems it's always better to create the illusion of more space and keep things neutral if the purpose is to sell. If you were doing it for yourselves but concerned about selling in the future, I'd say go with what you like.

What is his reasoning for the big table? Will it be used for something or just a table in the room or do you mean a large dining room table with chairs? Presumably, you would be taking any furniture with you so get something that you will use in your next home. Maybe you can find a larger table with a removable leaf so you can size it down for the smaller room.

Dexter is losing it's intrigue. I'm really only watching it now because I can't watch AHS without dh and he hardly ever has time. We try to do marathons on the weekends. We've only gotten through episode 9 of season 1. I'm on season 4 of Dexter. It started to get a little meh with the sister always having boyfriend issues and just being kind of dense and Dexter getting a partner in Jimmy Smits. I like Jimmy Smits but he seems to kill every show he's ever been in. It started with L.A. Law, I believe.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

From watching those shows about selling homes, it seems it's always better to create the illusion of more space and keep things neutral if the purpose is to sell. If you were doing it for yourselves but concerned about selling in the future, I'd say go with what you like.
What is his reasoning for the big table? Will it be used for something or just a table in the room or do you mean a large dining room table with chairs?

 

His reasoning for the big table is b/c he wants to "create" a dining area.  But the house really doesn't allow for it, which is why for the past what, 8 years that we've lived here we haven't had one.  It isn't practical and doesn't fit.  And yeah I mean a large dining room table with chairs.

[MarineWife]

Well, if it doesn't fit, it doesn't fit. I don't really know what to tell you on that one. One of you will have to compromise or maybe come up with a completely different idea or do nothing. How important is it to you to be right? Is this room, this furniture, this thing important enough to fight over or can you just let him do whatever he wants even if it turns out being wrong?

[AnnieA]

I've watched hours and hours of HGTV. Paint neutral colors. No one wants to see your creativity. A cranberry garage door may catch someone's eye but if they are seriously considering buying the house, it may put them off thinking about the hours they would have to spend re-painting the stupid thing. And if you can buy a table that would be useful in the new house, why not? But if you are just buying the table to sell the house, eh.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

Well, if it doesn't fit, it doesn't fit. I don't really know what to tell you on that one. One of you will have to compromise or maybe come up with a completely different idea or do nothing. How important is it to you to be right? Is this room, this furniture, this thing important enough to fight over or can you just let him do whatever he wants even if it turns out being wrong?

It's not so much the being right as the desire to sell fast.  You know?  

Honestly I just let him rearrange the furniture all day.  He has the table in the middle now, and I said I'll be openminded and see how it works.  I'm not exactly arguing about it I just don't see how it's going to work.  It interrupts the flow of traffic.

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

I've watched hours and hours of HGTV. Paint neutral colors. No one wants to see your creativity. A cranberry garage door may catch someone's eye but if they are seriously considering buying the house, it may put them off thinking about the hours they would have to spend re-painting the stupid thing. And if you can buy a table that would be useful in the new house, why not? But if you are just buying the table to sell the house, eh.

Yes, yes, yes.  

I have felt sick all day.  Foggy, dizzy, so so tired.  Right around dinner time my stomach started killing me!  So hard to put the kids to bed myself.  DH still isn't very helpful at bedtime.  I wish some nights I could just bail.  Sigh.  But.  They're down and they were out by 845.  Not quite as early as I'd like but better than later!!  

Going to watch ONE WD and then off to bed.  I need to pay off some sleep debt.

MW - one of my friends from my DDC is interested in unschooling.  I said I'd ask you something for her.  She wants to know what sort of toys woud be good to buy for her 1 year old that isn't too school oriented but more open ended/play/life learning.  I suggested things for dramatic play and physical play - nothing alphabet necesarily or obvious learning.  But what about books?  Do you encourage reading, etc?  Or do you just let them show interest when they are ready?

I have another comment tho.  My good friend keeps telling  me "We have to get Finn signing," and every time he makes a whine or points to something, she encourages him to sign, and says to me, "Oh that would so get on my nerves.  [my LO] was signing for things at this point."    I have told her for me signing is really extra and he isn't deaf, and is already speaking some, so I don't push it.  I don't honestly worry about it.  We didn't even bother with Nora for crying out loud, and she talks just fine!  
And she has kind of judged me for not sitting and reading every day to the kids.

I want to start sharing some unschooling links b/c I think she is too focused on schooling.  I want to follow a more laid back approach.  You know?

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

It's not so much the being right as the desire to sell fast.  You know?  
Honestly I just let him rearrange the furniture all day.  He has the table in the middle now, and I said I'll be openminded and see how it works.  I'm not exactly arguing about it I just don't see how it's going to work.  It interrupts the flow of traffic.

Then let him do what he wants to do and be responsible for the outcome. Whatever. Ya know?

Sorry you were feeling sick. I sometimes feel sick for no apparent reason. It sucks, especially since dh doesn't take me seriously.

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

MW - one of my friends from my DDC is interested in unschooling.  I said I'd ask you something for her.  She wants to know what sort of toys woud be good to buy for her 1 year old that isn't too school oriented but more open ended/play/life learning.  I suggested things for dramatic play and physical play - nothing alphabet necesarily or obvious learning.  But what about books?  Do you encourage reading, etc?  Or do you just let them show interest when they are ready?

I have another comment tho.  My good friend keeps telling  me "We have to get Finn signing," and every time he makes a whine or points to something, she encourages him to sign, and says to me, "Oh that would so get on my nerves.  [my LO] was signing for things at this point."    I have told her for me signing is really extra and he isn't deaf, and is already speaking some, so I don't push it.  I don't honestly worry about it.  We didn't even bother with Nora for crying out loud, and she talks just fine!  

And she has kind of judged me for not sitting and reading every day to the kids.
I want to start sharing some unschooling links b/c I think she is too focused on schooling.  I want to follow a more laid back approach.  You know?

Honestly, I'd say get whatever she thinks her child would like. Unschooling isn't about avoiding educational things. It's about giving your child the things he likes with the understand that he is always learning. One thing I've been meaning to mention is that you have to let go of all preconceived notions about education and what you think your child needs to know. Everything is a learning tool. Books are always good but aren't necessary and shouldn't be pushed over other things.

As to signing, I signed with Ethan, Kellen and Dylan. They all signed different words at different times and in different frequency. Your friend probably doesn't realize that not all kids will do the same thing at the same time. Dylan just recently started signing milk and water even though I've been signing those to him since birth. Tell your friend she needs to get over herself.

[Baby_Cakes]

Very true!  

I find that this time around I'm not focused on having Finn learn what animal says what, or where his ears/eyes/nose are.  I remember doing all that stuff the first time and being super proud of it.  But I don't know that it really matters?  Idk.  Part of me thinks maybe I'm just being lazy, but another part of me knows it's just a set of "tricks" people like to see small children do.  

re:signing - he's got a handful of signs that I find useful.  Everytime I'm trying to get info from him and we don't have the sign yet, I look it up and start using it.  But I can't go out and get all the dvds and books and push it so hard.  It's just not my style.  We recently started signing "tree" b/c the christmas tree is up.  That is a fun one!

Finn says, "Nora!" clear as day.  It's amazing.  I think it melts my heart more than hearing him say Mama at this point.  When he yells across the house, "Nora!" it's ADORABLE.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

Part of me thinks maybe I'm just being lazy, but another part of me knows it's just a set of "tricks" people like to see small children do.

That's because that's what everyone else says you should feel. If you aren't doing X, Y, Z with your child you are lazy and the child is going to be "behind" and disadvantaged. All of that is in respect to school, though, and schools are failing. It is nothing more than a set of tricks. What kids are expected to know for school is so arbitrary. Who knows if they'll ever actually use it? As long as you include your child in your life and talk to your child and do things with your child, he will learn what he needs to know. It's inevitable. You can't stop it.

Recently, I was doing something with Dylan and I tried to get him to point to his nose. He wouldn't do it. I wondered for a second if there was something wrong because he couldn't point to his nose. Then today I told Kellen to get a tissue and blow his nose because it was nasty. Dylan came up to me and stuck his finger in his nose and grunted and pointed at the tissue. He knows what his nose is without having to jump through hoops to prove it.

[MarineWife]

A big thing with unschooling, as I mentioned before, is letting go of all your preconceived notions about what your child should know and when. Let go of the idea that some things are more important to know than others. It's called deschooling. Anyone who has been through school needs to deschool before she can unschool. The rule of thumb is that it takes and equal amount of months to the number of years you were in school. So, 12 years of grammar schooling will require at least 12 months, a year, of unschooling to get over. Then you have to learn and accept that all things are equal to all other things. Knowing how to ride a bike is just as valuable as knowing algebra. Knowing how to bake a cake is just as valuable as knowing how to read. Being able to read the manual to a video game is just as valuable as being able to read Harry Potter. Watching Harry Potter is just as valuable as reading the book. Whatever your child is learning at the moment is the most valuable thing they will ever learn. There will be much more to learn later.

[AnnieA]

I wish Ava had more signs. The pointing and grunting sometimes takes me to the edge. But I want her to have more signs so she can communicate with me, not so I can say she has X number of signs. She's obsessed with brushing her teeth right now. I keep showing her the sign for toothbrush and she just ignores it. She points to the bathroom and touches her teeth with her tongue. :/

Sorry you don't feel well Baby_Cakes. Hope it's not the crazy stomach stuff going around.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by AnnieA 
 I keep showing her the sign for toothbrush and she just ignores it. She points to the bathroom and touches her teeth with her tongue. :/
Sorry you don't feel well Baby_Cakes. Hope it's not the crazy stomach stuff going around.

But that IS her sign!  Take it!  Run with it!  

I don't think it's a tummy bug, thank goodness!  I might have some sinus pressure but nothing actually feels congested. 

Actually, the more I think about it today, I think it's SAD.  I get it every year.  I've never found anything that works to help me except for going tanning, and I really REALLY don't think I want to do that.  But I can't stand feeling this way -- so out of it, so spaced out, incredibly unmotivated.  Everything feels monotonous.  No drive.  

I tried putting on sunscreen hoping the scent would trigger me out of it.  I've been taking my vitamins, trying to get exercise.  Sigh.

This morning I'm really feeling it.  Just dragging.

[akind1]

Staging: I think depends on what your area is like - if you have a lot of sort of cookie cutter homes, doing things to make it different - like a bold color on the front door - may really help your house be memorable. If your house already has a lot of character - like a craftsman style house - you probably don't want to add those things, but let the bones of the house and the details inherent in that style speak for themselves. Neutral is good, but it doesn't have to be bland. People look at so many houses these days with the internet and high inventory in a lot of areas, that you want your house to be memorable.

I think also people like rooms with a purpose, they like to know "this space is for dining" vs. this space is used as an office, a dining room, a craft room . . . all at once! because if it is all those things, it lends to the idea that your space is to small to accomodate different needs in different areas (I think this rule would not apply to NYC spaces that are small, and the more multifunctional the better)

Re: unschooling/homeschooling, etc . . .MIL was asking about this stuff this weekend, like, if I continue to work - which unless we win the lottery or something is just plain likely - how will we homeschool? We explained that schooling doesn't really need to take a large portion of the day, and she looks skeptical. I don't feel like even trying to explain unschooling to her. It would make my head hurt. I agree, that if we were to unschool, we'd have to deschool ourselves (and also our familes, oy - the bad part of living so close to so much family!) and IDK if that' even possible. It's part of the reason why I don't know we will be radical unschoolers, though we may take somethings from that philosophy. I'm definitely not into canned homeschooling programs either. We have some time.

Carrie - I hope you get feeling better! Winter has only just begun!

2 weeks until Christmas! I am not ready, and yet, I still can't wait for it to be here, and be done, so we can get back to normal. LOL Still a good many things we want to try to do with the kids before chrismas. need to hurry up.

[MarineWife]

carrie ~ are you taking vitamin D? Maybe you could try one of those sunlamps that's not really for tanning. IDK if those are dangerous.

Yeah, Annie, that is Ava's sign for teeth brushing. Dylan does a lot of pointing and grunting. It can get frustrating trying to figure out what he wants.

I never even considered the idea of the rest of my family needing to deschool and all 3 of my parents were teachers. My dad, who was a college professor, has been much more open to me homeschooling and unschooling than my mother, who was a public high school teacher for several years. I think the idea threatens my mom a bit because it basically means that her job was pointless and maybe even harmful. Anyway, I don't have a problem telling my family to butt out if they try to get into my business and tell me how to do things with my children. It's really none of their business. My family is also pretty good about staying out of each other's business like that in the first place. My mother sometimes starts things but I cut her off quick. I don't have to deal with the in-laws. My MIL is dead and my FIL moved to Arizona with his new wife. I really never talk to them.